The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

[lilbiggio]

11:28PM

Prologue


Our story begins exactly thirteen minutes and 11 seconds after the events that ended Part 2.

Holman Keezel had since been taken to the hospital by his security guard Josh. Now elsewhere maybe two or three blocks down the street, the Mystery Man had checked back into the Best Western Suite on Pine Crest avenue. And after a walk that may have seemed like hours but only took moments. He entered room 424 with a smile on his face.

Inside sat 6 people in suits eagerly awaiting an update.

Quote:

Mystery Man: It has been done. It's over. A man with a heavy voice spoke up Man: Is he dead?

The mystery man hesitated a moment on his next words. It would have seemed that they should have flowed out of him quickly. This evening, this moment of victory which he had to wait for night in and night out for a year. Yet, he knew something they didn't.

Whatever had happend to Holman Keezel 13 no make that 14 minutes now earlier, was not by his hand. He had no clue whether Holman would survive or not but this truth could not be revealed. Hell no...

And the impending question was still lingering. Who was the angel investor? Who would take over the Braves now that Keezel was out of the way... The Powers that Be would want to know everything was finished, and at this moment it was only 50% done, but they didn't need to know that. They'd still ask, he was sure of it...

Those were questions he didn't know... so he did what he had to do.

Quote:

Mystery Man: He is as good as dead. The bullet was fatal. Another man spoke up Man 2: That is good. Thank you for ending this tonight. {CENSORED}, you have worked hard we know that and we thank you for sticking with it. We can now prepare our next steps in this process. Go on and get yourself some sleep now, you can let yourself out... Mystery Man:(interupting)...and my pay... that was a half million bounty on Keezel's head. Man: Oh yes, you'll get your money in the morning... but right now is not the time. there is still the business of completing our investigation over who spotted Keezel the $500 million dollars and punishing that bastard as well for costing us so much money these past few years. Mystery Man: ... oh uh yes.. alright, well it has been a long night... I'll see you tommorrow.

[lilbiggio]

Hey guys... Glad to be back, the other post was getting kind of long but well the season ended kinda abruptly thanks to the Cardinals beating the heck out of us in 5 games in the 2011 NLDS.

It was time for a break. So FIFA got a couple of plays. We barbecued, we shot some hoops, did a little bit of everything to rid that taste of defeat out of our system. And well in 2 weeks it don't take long for OS to do what it do, and that post is already out of sight so we can start the 2012 edition of the Ted Turner Memoirs: Painkillers are a Man's Best Friend.

Hooray for me. Hooray for us. Hooray for America.

This is now that special time in which I now update you on the glorious Rags to Riches and back to rags story of Millionaire Ted Turner. The Synopsis is as follows heading into 2012: I mean hey if you didn't want to read over 20 pages of action and just happened to stumble in on this one, you're probably highly confused already so let's GO:


Our Story So Far (Updated 9/6/2011)

Ted Turner and the Braves for over 20 years enjoyed a lucrative and great relationship. However somewhere along the way, Mr. Turner was strong armed, cheated and kicked to the curb by fatcats in pinstriped suits and power ties. Not even allowed into the stadium that bore his surname.

As Turner laid his head in self pity and near suicide he gave one last attempt at taking back what was rightfully his. Planning to exact revenge on those that wronged him Turner sought to Buy back the Atlanta Braves in 2010 for $500 Million dollars.

Along the way with clever plot devices and utter luck, the Prince of Atlanta's $500 million dollar request was intercepted and repackaged by a former employee of Turner's, Mr. Holman Keezel.

Together Keezel and Turner executed the Unholy Alliance buying the Atlanta Braves back from Liberty Media in May of 2010. Due to circumstances Ted Turner could not outright own the Braves but he would serve as psuedo General Managers. This could not and has not been revealed to anyone as of today.

As the Braves became more competitve in the summer months pressure from Turner led to Keezel releasing Sitting GM Frank Wren from his contract to make room for Ted. This unexpected move left Wren in a state of bitter anger.

Our story took an even futher dive into the dark side as, Holman Keezel months removed from gaining the rights of the Braves had his life nearly taken from him at gunpoint by a mysterious assailant. All the man asked was that the Braves throw the 2010 World Series vs. the Cleveland Indians..


As we all know though... things didnt' work out quite as planned. Atlanta became the 2010 World Champions of Baseball

2011

The following year things seemed to go smoothly, Holman and Ted went relatively under the radar albeit living under constant fear of death threats and random stalkings from our mysterious man in black. While this was going on, Ted and Holman fueded over the acquistion of a former Brave John Rocker.

Ted went behind Holman's back and signed Rocker to a minor league deal. To obscure his identity Rocker was to grow his beard out to bibical proportions, and rock gucci designer shades while on the mound. He was also to change his name to John Boy to throw off the scent of any New York haters. Although this made Rocker the coolest kid in the clubhouse it didn't equal wins, and Rocker has currently been stuck at the AA level working on a third pitch with Roger McDowell.

At the major leage level the Braves nearly went back to the World Series but were ousted by the St. Louis Cardinals in the Divisional series. It didn't help that they had manufactuerd the modern day 1927 Yankees thanks to poor A.I. or just sheer luck.. It would be later this night at 11:15PM that the mystery man and another man yet to be identified would meet up outside the clubhouse and through a turn of events that have yet to be explained, apparently have caused Holman Keezel to cease existing.

And that's where we will begin part 3...


To Catch up on the details, go to the following links
Ted Turner Memoirs: Vegeance and Apple Pie - 2010
Ted Turner Memoirs 2: Corruption - 2011

[lilbiggio]

Atlanta Braves 2010 Season Recap

Atlanta Braves 2011 Season Recap (NEW)


You just read about the behind the scenes stuff... or pretended to and just wanted to see some action. Well here it is homie. The actual Atlanta Braves baseball team. And man we're 2 years deep now. Here's All the top highlights from last year and I even threw in the year before too just for fun. You may have read about this in the previous chapters but it's always cool to reminence... lemonade as always sold seperately.

[lilbiggio]

With the Braves being the first team in Major League history to actually put someone in the front office on the disabled list. Ted Turner had to step in and take over the ship. The Winter Meetings still had to take place. The team still needed to either rebuild or reload.

Because of the dangerous situation that had happened to Holman Ted had Josh the security guy handle his dirty work. Had people not been paying attention they might have thought Josh had done the offseason managing himself... but these transactions reeked of Ted Turner.

No, not because Ted got ridiculous and made bad signings, but because in true Turner fashion, he again spent 30 days working on one target to lose him with no viable backup plan in motion. it was this same nonsense that had lost him Derrek Lee and Carl Crawford in the same offseason.




Ted Realized that the top draw Mark Buehrle was commanding too much dinero. Ted made the right move and scrolled down and found a rather good diamond in the second tier.



Ha.. Ha! CJ Wilson is a beast pitcher", Ted thought. And Texas only paying a pitiful 5Million for him? Hell we'll double the taxes...no..no, TRIPLE the taxes! 20 MIL!!


After deeming 20 million a little too cool for Wilson's parade, and dropping it down to a little over 17Mil. Ted sat back and drank some kool-aid. It wouldn't be long at this rate. Who would take 5 million over 17million? We just went to the World series, and were a few games last season from returning again. This was in the bag. Derek Lowe's replacement would be CJ Wilson.

Then it wasn't... CJ resigned with Texas for the lowball offer of 5Million.

[lilbiggio]

Ego bruised but not beaten, Ted then entered the Jose Bautista sweepstakes. After a monster year in Toronto and the loss of Chipper Jones... we could certainly see a connection with bringing Bautista to the ATL.

But again, it didn't happen. The Yankees came out of nowhere and threw a ridiculous amount of money to sign Jose. Since A-Rod is still the everyday Third baseman, the Yanks will have to DH Bautista, or wait it out till Jeter retires and then move Arod over to SS... this was a bad signing but atleast it kept him out of St. Louis which was on his short list of 5 available teams.





Well this offseason sucked balls. We spent all our energies trying to get CJ.. we still lost him. Ted was demoralized. Would it be 2011 all over again? Had he not scrolled down just a little further things might have been bleak. But sitting just on the edge, almost left for dead.



Carlos Zambrano a great Cubs pitcher, black balled out of baseball for his immaturity. Praised for his intensity. This was a Ted Turner type guy. He had done it many times before taking chances on guys that nobody would touch with any common sense. Last year it burned him... and yet, here he was willing to give Zambrano a 5 year deal..

It seemed stupid at the time... and yet, at the end of the day while still stupid, at least it is a promising risk.

Quote:

So there you have it, we didn't do any crazy Triple Play 95 type rebuilds... we also didn't get the opportunity to bring in a new ball club by giving everyone CC money... the game would have none of that. Yet, felt like I should not be psuedopenalized by having Zambrano sign a deal of that magnitude. I Shake my damn head while feeling like atleast we replaced Lowe possibly. Zambrano was the only signing of worth. We resigned the whole team pretty much and added old time Brave Rafael Furcal to play SS for chump change and peanuts. Now that I think about it, I actually like the Furcal signing... another move reeking of Ted, and another great Brave back in the home red white, tonight.

Carlos Zambrano will rock #38
Rafeael Furcal paid Jordan Schafer $25,000 and an undisclosed amount of marijuana to change his jersey number from 1 to #2
Furcal will wear the number 1 thus ridding himself of 15 hopefully forever...

[Rexis]

I would have just gamnled and throw one of the guys from the farm in the rotation. I mean, it's about time one of them get a chance... OR are you not using Knight and co's roster set?

[lilbiggio]

Quote: Originally Posted by rexis

I would have just gamnled and throw one of the guys from the farm in the rotation. I mean, it's about time one of them get a chance... OR are you not using Knight and co's roster set?

Oh yeah definately rolling with Knight's set... I think the loss of Lowe who was like my go to guy in combination with Kris Medlen who I deemed the next big thing going 3 for 13 last season really scared me into over paying for Zambrano to rock a Braves jersey.. I felt we had to get the vet just to have some sort of consistancy because pitching is what loss me the NLDS vs. the Cardinals.

The rotation heading into 2012 looks something like this, and this is without any ST played at all as of right now and off the top of my head based on the last time I fired up the Show 11:

1. Tommy Hanson
2. Carlos Zambrano
3. Jair Jurrjens
4. Kris Medlen
5. Mike Minor

(Guys on the bubble that could go either way but not really serving a specific purpose)

Brandon Beachy
Julio Teheran
Kenshin Kawakami

Again Atlanta's got a wealth of talent in the minors. We could theoretically start the youth movement this season, but I honestly don't know how many Medlen kind of games I could stand this upcoming season. I'm hoping he returns to form, and I might could let Minor be that guy this season that will be a little behind. But bringing up any more than 1 would certainly be a gamble.

Case and point bringing in Zambrano pushed everyone down a notch, and maybe made Kawakami expendable if I did go the youth route. He has tremendous value right now so I could shop him if the need is there. Spring training might answer some of those questions. but when you think about it, I probably could have gone without the signing but oh well what's done is done...

[The Big Squeezy]

Wow, I can't believe Wilson turned down your offer to stay with Texas. That's insane. At least you got Zambrano who will hopefully be able to keep it together and fit into your rotation.

I'll be reading this one as well, great job with it so far.