Preseason: The NFL's Foreplay - therockstar2005's Blog

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Preseason: The NFL's Foreplay

Posted on August 27, 2010 at 01:32 AM.

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Hello and welcome to Dr. CJ's Fantabulous Sports Blog! It�s August, loyal followers, and you know what that means? (1) That means it�s finally time for football! (2) Yes, it�s been a long, hot, football-less summer. There have been all kinds of crazy excuses for sports going on in football�s absence. Seriously, who kicks a ball with their feet for a game? (3) What is this, the Dark Ages? And what�s up with that weird name? Soccer? What a stupid name for a sport! They should at least give it a name that reflects the game. You know, something about kicking a ball around with their foot. Think about it, David Beckham!

What was I writing about? Oh yes! Now it is time for the only sport that matters: football. Of course, now is the best time for the sport that matters the most: watching the games which matter the least. (4) That�s right, it�s preseason time in the NFL! I know, I know, those games you�ve been seeing on TV sure look real, and those seats you�ve been sitting in at those games sure cost real, too. However, don�t get too carried away. These games will actually mean nothing come September, with no lasting impact on the regular season. (5)

But don�t be dismayed. Just because the games have no meaning doesn�t mean they�re meaningless. (6) There is a wonder and a beauty to these games all their own. (7) Preseason games are very important for determining a roster and depth chart. Practicing on your own won�t cut it. (8) You need to practice against others, in a real game situation, not trying to see what you can do in an actual game.

Well, that�s great for the football teams, you say. But why do we have to go through the preseason? It�s elementary, Watson. You can�t just plow right into the NFL season. You have to prepare. You have to warm up to the NFL again. It�s been a long while since you last had a football season, and it�s been at least a few months for the NFL as well. The NFL has to get ready. Oh, sure, technically you could just enter right into the NFL season, but let�s be honest here, the NFL doesn�t like that. The National Football League doesn�t want you to just enter right into the season just like that. If you rush in so soon, it�ll be over before you know it. And besides, if the NFL isn�t ready for you to get into the season, then you�re not getting into the season. Getting into the football season takes time, takes dedication, takes effort. Foreplay, if you will.

And that is what the preseason is for. It gives us a chance to take a good look at our teams, at every single part of our teams, even the parts we haven�t seen before and would rather not. (9) We get to know our team better, to foster that relationship between multi-millionaires and fans. And it lets the NFL warm up a bit, too. It takes time to get ready for a football season, to work the kinks out and to be ready to perform. Yes, it�s kind of awkward, because you want to watch and take part, but you can�t feel just a little bit off as you start cheering for players you�ve never seen before. (10) And yes, we�d all like to just get to the season and get on with it.

But, let�s be honest. Deep down, we all really like the preseason. Especially the NFL. Because without the preseason, that�s five straight weeks that we�d have to go without football. (11) And the preseason helps us to get ready for the regular season, which in turn helps us to get ready for the postseason, and then there�s the Super Bowl, and the offseason, and before you know it, we�re right back to another preseason. It�s like the circle of life. (12) It continues on, and no one knows exactly how it works, but we�re all pretty sure that it makes sense, and it�s the way God made it, and that�s how it should stay. (13)

Sadly, ladies and gents, it appears that we are nearing an end of an era for the preseason. (14) Roger Goodell has been pushing for an 18 game regular season, which is likely going to cut into our beloved preseason. Ignoring the obvious wisdom of having plenty of time for a preseason, Goodell, among others, want more games that have meaning. But I find that offensive, sir. Especially for teams like the Detroit Lions. They haven�t had a meaningful game in 50 years. That doesn�t mean their games don�t have meaning. (15) What will be next, Goodell, only allowing teams that have �winning records� to be shown on primetime TV? (16)

So my challenge for all of us is to take some stock this preseason. Take the time to enjoy it. Take more time then you normally would. Don�t just plunge straight right into the NFL season. Relax, enjoy, explore what the preseason has to offer you. To offer all of us.

This message brought to you by the National Football League. (17)

1. A new season of Glee?!?!
2. Oh...
3. The rest of the world.
4. Hooray?
5. Those torn ACLs should be as good as new, too.
6. Especially for your bank account.
7. Beauty is in the eye of the season-ticket beholder.
8. No matter what your coach/teacher/significant other tells you.
9. Like a mole. Or a JaMarcus Russell.
10. Go, Kenneth Darby!
11. What would John �Cougar� Mellencamp do without those five weeks of �This Is Our Country� earning him royalty dollars?
12. Or of ESPN revenue dollars.
13. Intelligent fiscal design.
14. I�m not gonna have to pay for the f*cking tickets next year?
15. 4-0 Preseason in 2008!
16. Or punishing the �losing� teams by forcing them to have to sign $50 million for a rookie quarterback?
17. Not really, but it should.