I Felt A Little Ashamed - mcdowell31's Blog

mcdowell31's Blog

I Felt A Little Ashamed

Posted on March 14, 2023 at 09:09 PM.

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Just completed a massive dragon fight in Skyrim. I have a mod running that increases the number and lethality of the dragons attacking as they, as a faction of sorts, become "pissed" at your character taking out their faction members. I had just finished a couple of missions near Riften and was full of loot that needed upgrading and selling for mounds of gold septims that presented the opportunity to train my character and upgrade equipment, much like MyPlayer.

The aforementioned mod gives the option of "apologizing" to the dragons and losing a dragon soul, used for character upgrades, acquired from previous battles. Wanting to prove my early game character's worth I left his two followers inside relaxing. I try playing Skyrim straightforwardly in a manner that makes me rejoice or regret my decisions, though, like many modern RPG players, I save progress before going into a heated battle where much progress can be lost.

Greed can be a cruel taskmaster. Of course, with an unblemished record against younger, weaker dragons, I did not want to apologize for the first time in a dragon battle. Also, these more mature dragons carry a boatload of loot from (using imagination here) previously eaten adversaries and a ton of dragon bone and scales that have gold value. Eventually, I would apologize for the first time, after three or four character deaths and reloading the save. Maybe I should have apologized before the battle started; greed.

Even more, not armed with conventional weaponry, my character relied on underdeveloped magic skills and his dragon "shout". The shout is a part of the centerpiece of Skyrim's story: It is a dragon language used most often for combat. In reality, my use of shouts in-game has been limited because I have rarely progressed far in Skyrim, and I prefer the conventional and magical combat because they are... straightforward. Well, my character (I) did not realize the collateral damage a shout causes when used without knowledge. I blasted one of my character's fellow Thief Guild members. He was not happy. This also happened with the Riften security guards: That accounted for two or three of the deaths my character suffered as they retaliated.

I was able to buy off the guards for just twenty septims. All is good, right? Not enough for the Guild member. He "reported" my character to the Guild, and all perks and privileges were instantly lost. I was not rejoicing at this point. It even seemed that the Guild members looked distrustful of my character, rather than being their usual chatty selves when my character passes within ten feet; immersion and imagination are great for games.

It was at this point I felt a little ashamed for having power but wielding it irresponsibly. It is this ability to make me feel that probably makes Skyrim one of the top games in history. It is a created story with guidelines, but it is still my story because of my investment of time.

In 2K, the peak for me feeling like this was with NBA 2K8, College Hoops 2K8, and NFL 2K5. I used to play all of those in an ongoing cycle. Usually, it would take about a month to complete seasons in college and NFL. I would actually miss the players and the world they existed in as I "vacationed" with the other games. I would get pumped with anticipation as I reviewed the offseason transactions, the imaginary storylines building in my head.

That experience was largely missing from Xbox One for me. 2K's 18-20 did some of that. It feels good that I am getting some of that from 2K23, and the game seems intent on bringing immersion back. I am still only in the second season of my Dr. J 76ers MyNBA file. We drafted Michael "Soul Glow" Cage instead of the Clippers getting him; we also got Jerome Kersey.

The thing that I have loved about MyLeague and later MyNBA, which gives me that straightforward immersive feeling, is the created player. We drafted algorithm-created Kenneth Woods. He is a Dr. J clone; he has a ways to go to fill those shoes but flashes brilliance now and again. Right now, I am leaving general management to the AI. It is up to me to figure out how to maximize the player. It is more satisfying when I do the scouting and drafting. Finding out I was right first during Summer League and in the first month of the regular season is always a proud moment.

Well, gotta get back to Riften, get my gold, and get ready for the next missions. Gotta end my Skyrim vacation and get back to MyLeague.

Game Blouses made the playoffs, but we are in a rough patch in the dog days of the NBA regular season. The chances of getting Andrew Wiggins back are getting lower; now Jalen Brunson has foot issues; even Damian Lillard sat out the other night. The next couple of weeks will be a test for my general management powers if I want to make it to the championship round.