Attack of the Avatars... - ldpart67's Blog

ldpart67's Blog

Attack of the Avatars...

Posted on November 20, 2008 at 10:28 PM.

(2)

With the NXE dropping yesterday, I thought this was relevant. I actually wrote it for another site, but given that Microsoft is now stealing from Nintendo (have they EVER had an original idea?) I thought this might be a good first blog entry.

Attack of the Avatars..........

Ok;

So today I am at work and I received the most bizarre request in my 15 plus years of IT experience.

I was asked to set up an "Avatar" for someone's instant messenger. After telling that person to kindly get the hell out of my office, I decided to look up the "formal" meaning of the word avatar...

For those of you that don't know what an avatar is, (and if you dont that means there is still hope for you) it's a stupid annoying little cartoon looking figure that is supposed to represent you online, be it chat, video games etc�.

Webster's dictionary defines an avatar as: an electronic image that represents and is manipulated by a computer user (as in a computer game).

And therein lies the rub and reason for my tirade�The above definition implies that it is a "manipulated image" which, if you follow simple logic means it can't be human and it can't be alive. OR CAN IT?? (queue music here: DUHN DUN DUUHN)

Now, I don't know too much about these avatars, but they are multiplying like crazy!! Lately I've seen these pesky little ****ers all over the place. They have them for Instant message, they have them for video games, and they have them for Cell phones, Children's DVD's, instruction videos.. even Blogs (and here I thought blogs were the last bastion of hope for world literacy. It encourages people to read and write�even if it is about nothing).

C'MON BOY GO FOR A RIDE ?

The earliest re-collection I have of an avatar has to be about 10 years ago. My roommate at the time downloaded a program that put a virtual dog on her desktop. I remember thinking at the time... Perhaps she could be using this time for social activities with REAL PEOPLE ?.. (she was actually quite attractive)

Anyway, one day she had to go down to Miami on business. Before she left she made one request of me. Please feed her dog. To which my initial knee jerk response was, "what dog? we don't have a dog." After explaining herself to me (Like it really needed to be clarified) she demonstrated how I was to feed and walk the dog along the screen. It was my next question that caused her eyes to go deep black and stare me down like no other woman I ever have ever known� "Well what if I just shut off the PC?" I asked efficently. I swear I thought she was going to call the cyber PETA and Humane society on me. And with that, I was given my instructions and she left. I will never forget that look she gave me. She was that far gone. For her own good, I let the computer run ignoring the yelping noise coming from the desktop for 4 days until finally it stopped. I had killed her virtual dog. But in my head I saved her life (or at least her social life) and to me it was a fair trade.

I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY GRAPHICS CARD

Fast Forward 10 years later and these twisted little emaciated cartoon figures are everywhere. Virtual boy fiends, virtual girl friends, virtual rockstars, virtual worlds with virtual eateries (If we get to the point of virtual cockroaches I'm pulling the plug) It's not enough to have a linear online presence anymore. No, now you have to do it in 3D with an avatar� and it's not enough just to have an avatar. Now your avatar has to have "style" complete with custom outfits and accessories. How ridiculous has it become? On Yahoo IM you can actually describe in detail what your "avatar" is wearing. It's as if there is a virtual Hugo Boss or Ralph Lauren announcing their new fall lineups as these avatars strut their stuff down a virtual catwalk�

ITS ALL FUN AND GAMES TILL SOMEONE GOES AND "BLUE SCREENS"

So what does the future hold for avatars? Well hell, since avatars are all thin and into the latest fashions, how long will it be until your sexy little avatar acquires an eating disorder? Virtual fondue and caviar, along with virtual rack of lamb = virtual run to the bathroom and jam your virtual finger down your throat. Oh the virtual shame that could lead to!!! Next thing you know your poor little avatar has a $4000.00 a day virtual coke habit and has to be virtually airlifted to a hospital after a virtual drug OD caused them to black out and wrap their virtual Ferrari around a tree�..(virtual of course).

Think it cant come to that ?

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,451945,00.html

My point is this folks� Are we as a society; really becoming THAT dependant on technology to do our day to day interacting with one another? Are we really that busy that we can't pick up a phone just to say hello, or take 10 minutes to walk our REAL dogs and say Hi to our REAL neighbors ? man take the time folks.. Cause once we're gone its game over ya know? Unless my avatar learns how to communicate from the grave........

{sigh}

And my friends wonder why I am so disappointed in mankind�

Comments

# 1 Fresh Tendrils @ Nov 20

I blame The Sims for this.

# 2 ldpart67 @ Nov 20

you know I didnt even think about that, but you're right.. they started all this madness didn't they? And isnt the Sims an EA product ? They are such an easy target its alomst not fair......