2013-2014 Season Preview. Team 30. - harrisonial2992's Blog

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2013-2014 Season Preview. Team 30.

Posted on October 15, 2013 at 06:18 PM.

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Team 30.

The Philadelphia 76ers.

This team is horrible! But that's the plan. Philadelphia is in full on tank mode. This team would go 0-82 with an average attendance of zero if it meant they get a 25 percent at Andrew Wiggins next June. Led by General Manger and evil genius Sam Hinkie, this team promises to trade all viable players, but we'll get back to that in a minute.

3 Things I Love about the Philadelphia 76ers

1. Sam Hinkie
2. Nerlens Noel's hair
3. Evan "The Villain" Turner http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZV2j-DeKb6g

3 Things I hate about the Philadelphia 76ers

1. Spencer Hawes. Unless we're talking about this photo:

2. Fans refer to years 1992-1996 as "The Dark Ages." Anytime a franchise has a time known as the dark ages, I'm out.
3. Royce White's bus driver license.

Most compelling Storyline of the 2013-2014 Season

TRADES! I estimate that every player apart from Michael Carter-Williams and Nerlens Noel is available. Evan Turner, Thaddeus Young, Spencer Hawes, Tony Wroten, Lavoy Allen among others could all be off the team before the trade deadline in February. Evan Turner and Thaddeus Young are especially intriguing, if a contender can get their hands on one of these two they can add serious bench depth. So even though the 76ers want nothing to do with the 2014 NBA title, I think they'll play a pivotal role in a team that does.

One Trade to Make the 76ers Worse

Philadelphia 76ers trade: Evan Turner

Oklahoma City Thunder trade: Jeremy Lamb, Kendrick Perkins' semi expiring, and a future 1st round pick

This trade hinges on Kendrick Perkins in two ways. First Philadelphia would have to be willing to accept Kendrick Perkins' 2 year, 8 million dollar contract, it would be a hundred times better if it was an expiring, but I think that's where the first round pick comes in. Secondly this trade depends on Sam Presti, General Manager of the Thunder, to finally drop his inexplicable aversion to trading Perkins, citing Perk's "lockeroom leadership." Kendrick Perkins was apocalyptically abysmal in the Playoffs last year, repeatedly being outplayed by Nick Collision.

If OKC wants to get back to the Finals they have to trade Perkins in an attempt to make this team better. Turner gives them the third scorer they need, plus the Robin to Thabo Sefolosha's defensive Batman at the 2 spot.

Question to Philadelphia General Manager Sam Hinkie

Hi Mr.Hinkie, thanks for having me. I only have one question for you today. Did your old boss Daryl Morey AKA Dork Elvis, show you where the secret tomb of General Manager wizardry is? And if he did have you siphoned some magical GM Sorcerer powers to bring here to Philadelphia?

Okay that was two questions, my bad.

Philadelphia's Position in the Jersey Power Rankings

13.

Philadelphia recently switched to their current red, white and blue jersey. Which is much better than the weird black, gold and red scheme Allen Iverson made famous. But all told this jersey is still average, mediocre in every way.

Closing Thought as told by Mark Twain or Yogi Berra

"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there." -Yogi Berra