Tiger Woods Conspiracy Theory - goalie's Blog

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Tiger Woods Conspiracy Theory

Posted on August 8, 2010 at 02:35 PM.

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It's quite simple, really.

After botching the "apology" press conference, Tiger Woods' PR machine headed back to the bunker. There, they hatched a plan.

Tiger Woods, otherworldly in his golf ability - seemingly able to transcend human fallibility on the course - had the ugliest of humankinds fall-from-grace.

To return, he would need to re-create himself. And NOT, as he told us in press conference, as a man who wouldn't behave as badly or curse as much on the course. No, this re-creation would eclipse what any person could imagine... he would find a way to be loved and accepted again - something that seemed impossible.

But here was the answer: the only way he could do this was to fall ON the golf course the way he fell off of it...

He needed to fail. And fail so miserably that people began to doubt if he would ever again return to dominance. The afterthought of his passing Jack would now become debatable again, and perhaps even doubted. He would play golf in Ohio, on a course he had never shot higher than 71, and completely blow up - shooting the worst score of his professional career - by a wide margin.

This is impossible, right? Tiger's competitiveness would never allow it. In fact, his competitiveness is always what set him apart, wasn't it?

But the other thing that set Tiger apart was the "machine" around him. The persona which scared other golfers away from even thinking they could beat him. The persona which allowed him to get away with bold sex capades without getting caught - for awhile, anyway. (How is this even possible in today's world?) And the persona that could follow a plan to return to the top - not just on the course, but off of it as well.

Tiger's machine will figure out a way to get his brand (and hasn't that always been as large - or even larger than he, himself) back. And his recent performance is just step one in that plan.

Sounds crazy, right?

As crazy as what we began to learn Thanksgiving weekend, no?