Help me help myself

[TripleCrown9]

Guys I'll get right to it. I have no confidence when it comes to ladies. I can't talk to them, period. All I'm asking is assistance in making me think better about myself.

I didn't start this with the pipe dream of "pulling" a different 9 or 10 every weekend. Let's face the truth, that's totally unrealistic. All I want is to be able to talk to girls without preparing myself for rejection.

Let's start with the facts:
1. I'm naturally extremely shy and at times I can't even talk to my own family.
2. I'm average looking at best
3. I work at a decent job and make enough to pay rent and buy gas and food.
4. I get rejected 9.5 times out of 10, so I expect it.

We've all seen the guys that can walk up to any girl and leave within 10 minutes with a phone number easy as though asking for the time of day. That's who I want to be, the guy that holds his head higher than the rest, makes a girl feel like all the other testosterone in the room isn't good enough. It would be awesome to be able to ask for a girls number and not need to use some lame excuse like homework help or some crap like that. I have friends who are ridiculously confident, who at times have refused to hang with me because of my shyness. Hell I've had friends set me up to meet a girl and not a single word is spoken almost. I want to be able to talk to every girl I find interesting and/or attractive and not worry about rejection.

I'm sure this is a lame thread idea, and who knows how many replies I get. I was just hoping to start a place where guys(and girls) like me can come to learn how to increase their confidence 10 fold and maybe, just maybe, end up with the guy or girl of their dreams. So thanks for listening and let's see how this plays out.

[12]

I don't know bro... But if it were me, and I was single (which I'm not), I'd hit up the dating sites. It's funny to me how it's still somewhat seen as "lame" to do this, but I have quite a few friends who went this route and ended up with girls that they are happy with. My mother-in-law met her current husband this way.

It works, if you're smart about it.

I'm so far out of the dating game that my advice would probably suck anyways. But online might not be a bad way to go.

[TripleCrown9]

Yeah I've considered trying out a couple when I have extra money. You cant really do anything on them without being a premium member.

[kingkilla56]

You want to be able to talk to girls without the fear of rejection? Well you said yourself, which im assuming was hyperbole and self depreciation, that you are rejected 95% of the time. If it were me, I wouldnt fear rejection at that point anymore. I would be like **** it I dont care what happens anymore, which ironically is a good mentality when going into a conversation with a girl lol

[PVarck31]

To be honest man, 95% rejection rate is about par for the course.(although I'm sure some guys would tell you otherwise lol.) Don't let that get you down. Im a pretty descent looking guy, but my best friend could be a model and he got shot down like scud missiles in college. Chicks are weird man. I got lucky and found a good girl through her cousin that I worked with. But yeah I would definitely think about an online dating site. There is no stigma with them anymore.

[buckeye02]

In bars or clubs, you never know if chicks have a B/f so im guessing they would use that excuse a lot. Online dating you know who available and if they're looking to get into something serious.

Before you go out on a date, you have to pull the (There's something About Mary routine) I hope you know what im talking about, because i dont know exactly how to say it without violating the TOS. But you will feel a lot more relaxed and thinking less about sex and how to get this girl to like you.

Not a stupid thread at all. A lot of helpful advice can come from the community.

[TheMatrix31]

I might have to do the dating site thing, because the chicks I'm around most often (and their "extended radius" of female friends) are not attractive to me (either personality OR physically) in the slightest.

[HotSauce2k3]

Confidence is huge. You don't have to be the best looking guy in the room or even have the best personality. You just have to own who you are, because you aren't as bad as you think. I'm goofy looking and have a pretty corny, arguably bad sense of humor, and I was pretty insecure about who I was. Eventually I got tired of trying so I just said "f*** it, Ima just do me." I continued to go out but never with the purpose of trying to find a girl, and lo and behold the girls started coming around. And if they don't like you for who you are, then on to the next one.

Girls can tell if you're confident (and not desperate), and it goes a long way. Just go in not giving a damn. Even if she is "the girl of your dreams," you probably shouldn't approach her as that. Talk to her like you don't wanna bone her lol. I mean, still act interested in the things she has to say. Just don't build her up to be something she isn't. Don't put the p**** on the pedestal lol.