Living on your own

[Randy14]

Hey guy's

2 weekends ago a lady from work and I went for a road trip to one of her friends place and stayed the night. I am 24 and shes 41. We get along great with each other and in no ways do I feel like she treats me like a kid. We joke and flirt all the time together and I always throw in the older age comments for fun and she laughs along. She doesn't look like she's 41 and I try to look past her age anyways, I look for the enjoyment that we share together. At work sometimes I don't see her all day and then other days I may see here for 5 minutes or so. We have worked together for 4 years and she has dated 1 guy in those 4 years and he was a loser, when I met him.

I have a huge crush on her and it's like we were meant to be together but our ages are 17 years apart. She has a 15 year old kid and a 21 year old who doesn't live at home. She has been married twice. She's a great person and I enjoy being around her and think about her all the time sometimes. The thing is I don't know if she would even consider dating someone 17 years younger then her and is this is just a fun thing for her or a friendship thing. I like the mature age thing about her, compared to girls my age and the fact that she is happy with her self and she seams to enjoy being around me. She doesn't buy me stuff and it's not like she's looking for that one night stand. She even let me drive her car this weekend which kind of showed me that she trusted me. If she didn't like me I am sure she wouldn't have invited me.

Fast forward a week we were planning on going to the movies, she said just random when another co-worker and I was around I would like to go see this show and I am like I am in. Other co-worker didn't get a chance to say anything. So just planned for the two of us.

Next morning she said she had to cancel movie cause of her kid doing something.
So I said no worries not a big deal and she said she would go next week or something. Later that day I planned to go on a weekend away thing with a buddy from work and just joking said don't worry won't cheat on you and then she said ah don't worry there is ton of younger girls out there for you.

So asked her today when she wanted to go to the movies but she basically avoided the subject and joking said I am going tonight then said just kidding I am going to the gym. She kind of has been not so flirty with me as of late and now makes small comments that I would like a young girl. Like today she said I heard you were dancing with young girls on the weekend, which I wasn't and I told her 17 is to young for me anyways and then she said oh you like them. It's like come on how do you know how I feel it's like she is trying to push me away.

Having a tough time dealing with it cause I see her at least 1-3 times a day, but don't want to come straight out and say I am attracted to her, I have a feeling she may just say don't be silly and could make the working situation a bit awkward. Maybe I came on to strong and she sensed it I don't know.

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I have a second question that I also need some advice on. I just bought a house but I am scared because of the fact I will be in it alone and I don't have a huge list of friends besides people from work, who are all above 35+ and majority of them have families. Where I live there is a lot of people above the age of 30+ and I would say it's tough to meet people my age. All my family lives here and I lived here for 24 years. I don't really want to move because the housing is so affordable where I live and my job lets me have weekends off and I home by 4:30 and it's only 10 mins to my work from where I live. I have looked at online dating in my area but there isn't anything that really catches my eye.

How do you come over the fear of living on your own?
Any advice on girls, just feel I am so positive but nothing ever comes my way and I quite shy which is my major down fall sometimes.


Cheers

[Scottdau]

lol good luck bro. 41 and 24 is a huge difference.

She is fishing to see how you feel about her. She is excited that a 24 year old is flirting with her. It does wonder for their confidence. If it was me I would not start anything, but that is me. knowing she has been married twice, have a kid close to my age. Those are warning to me, but I am 38, if I was 24 I would think "Awesome" Cougar time! Never lived on my own. I got married at 25 and was living with my grandma before that. So I am sure others can help you on that. The age will factor in your relationship even if you are both cool with it.

[dickey1331]

Its hard to say but I would set her aside sometime and tell her how you feel. You gotta be honest with her. Im also thinking maybe you like this girl because you dont want to live/be alone. Hopefully this isnt the case but I have seen it happen.

[z Revis]

That's a tough situation. If it were me, I wouldn't do anything but stay friends. No way could I get involved with someone when she has a kid that's only 3 years younger than me. Don't you think that's a little weird man?

As far as living on your own, well I don't have much advice on that as I'm only 20 and have never lived alone. What exactly is your fear though? Financial reasons? Not having anyone to talk to? Scared for your safety living alone? If it's the last two, try getting a dog if you can't find a partner or friend to live with you. It helps. lol. You could also get a security system if you're scared for your safety(so long as you can afford it).

[raidersbball20]

I would say she likes you but doesn't want to start anything because the age difference and she wants you to go for younger girls that you could have a future with

[TheShizNo1]

The day and age of the cougar. Go after it man

[jake44np]

Honestly after reading your whole post I dont think she is really into you.
You said she constantly tells you that you should find a younger girl, if she was into you she wouldnt say that.
She can tell that you like her and I think it kind of makes her nervous, hince her not wanting to go to the movies with you. Also at her age and already being divorced twice she is not at the same point in her life that you are, she may not want a relationship. I know my wife is 42 now and has 2 kids from her first marriage and now one with me and she tells me all the time if we ever got divorced that she will never get married again. Or even have serious relationship again.
Also she has to look out for her kids, her son is only 3 years younger then you and she may not want to make him feel uncomfortable with the whole age thing.

As far as the whole living alone thing, man up!
How can a 24 year old man feel scared living alone???
I lived alone from the time I was 18 till when I married my wife when I was 32.
You should be having a blast living on your own at your age!

[sb24]

Do not pursue the woman. She was thinking she could have some fun with you without it being too serious. Its obvious that you are getting attached and Im sure she is seeing it as well. She is trying to create the space so that you dont tell her you are attracted to her and then she turns you down. She doesnt have long term plans with you, she has a child 3 years younger than you. Have you me him/her? Do they know about you? If not, do you think she wants to tell her 21 yr old that she is dating someone 3 years older than them? Enjoy your time together for what it is.