Silliest Things You've Heard During Sex

mrsimperless · 05-07-2003, 02:09 PM

There you go JAG, I did it for you. I'll start.

"Is it in yet?"

Oh wait, that's not silly. It's sad. Oh well, at least I'm still the pimp that I see in all of my fantasies. No one can ever take that away from me. EVER.

Bee · 05-07-2003, 02:16 PM

"Can we do it doggie style so I can watch the x-files."

TLK · 05-07-2003, 02:19 PM

I second the "is it in yet" but with a slight whimper in my voice. And yes, it was as pathetic as it sounds.

TLK

Franklinnoble · 05-07-2003, 02:20 PM

"Wrong hole"

Fritz · 05-07-2003, 02:21 PM

"horsey horsey horsey"

Subby · 05-07-2003, 02:21 PM

"Do I get that promotion now?"

path12 · 05-07-2003, 02:21 PM

"Dear Lord in heaven, forgive me for the terrible and vile sin I am about to commit......."

path12 · 05-07-2003, 02:23 PM

Or.......

"Roll Tide!" "It's rollin' baby, it's rollin'!!"

JeeberD · 05-07-2003, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Franklinnoble
"Wrong hole"

I've heard that one before...

Fritz · 05-07-2003, 02:28 PM

"Are you peeing out the window?"
"Respect you in the morning? I don't respect you now."
"Spank my Pussy."
"a little bit of jelly and a whole lotta roll."
"why do you want me to wear the Barbara Bush mask?."
"you have a hair stuck to your forehead."
"oral sex aint worth it if you don't risk brain damage"
"what are doing with that egg beater?"

Frozenrope · 05-07-2003, 02:31 PM

"I hope that's the cat making that noise."

Franklinnoble · 05-07-2003, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by JeeberD
I've heard that one before...

Yeah, but did you re-direct, or keep on goin'?

cincyreds · 05-07-2003, 02:44 PM

.........and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse.

It just did.

Blade · 05-07-2003, 02:45 PM

"I said keep the bag on!"

What can I say? I was suffocating!!!

Fritz · 05-07-2003, 02:46 PM

overheard while at a sleepover at Marmels:

"Mom, don't forget to sign my report card."

Easy Mac · 05-07-2003, 02:46 PM

"make me cum"

I had a good laugh at that one

primelord · 05-07-2003, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Easy Mac
"make me cum"

I had a good laugh at that one

That was funny.

moriarty · 05-07-2003, 02:50 PM

"Stop wiggling your butt, you might spill my beer".

strait8 · 05-07-2003, 02:54 PM

Will it taste bad when you cum in my mouth?

mrsimperless · 05-07-2003, 02:54 PM

"Be careful, that looks like it'll hurt me. Wait, just put the head in!"

Draft Dodger · 05-07-2003, 03:04 PM

true story:

after a particularly athletic session, my wife said..."I didn't know I had it in me".

it's been a recurring joke with us ever since

Franklinnoble · 05-07-2003, 03:09 PM

"Baaaaaaaa"

Subby · 05-07-2003, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by strait8
Will it taste bad when you cum in my mouth?

Did it?

CamEdwards · 05-07-2003, 03:15 PM

"Quick, out the back... Skydog's home!!"

I really hope that one doesn't put me in the doghouse.

Draft Dodger · 05-07-2003, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Subby
Did it?

hilarious

sachmo71 · 05-07-2003, 03:20 PM

"You want to put your what? In my what what?"

CamEdwards · 05-07-2003, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sachmo71
"You want to put your what? In my what?"

it's hard to find a woman that appreciates the "let me put my dick in your jar of Skippy peanut butter" fetish, isn't it?

sachmo71 · 05-07-2003, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CamEdwards
it's hard to find a woman that appreciates the "let me put my dick in your jar of Skippy peanut butter" fetish, isn't it?

You SWORE you wouldn't tell! Damn you!

moriarty · 05-07-2003, 03:24 PM

"You're not as skilled as your father"

Franklinnoble · 05-07-2003, 03:24 PM

"You're going to erase that tape when we're done, right?"

sabotai · 05-07-2003, 03:26 PM

"You've only done this with me, right?"

Airhog · 05-07-2003, 03:35 PM

You wanna stick that in my ass?

You wanna do what with my sister and me?

You wanna do what with my mom and me?

You wanna do what with my dad and me?

You wanna do what with the neighbors dog and me?

That wasnt a pussy fart, that was just air.

Your done already?

Your not that little

My jaw hurts

My ass hurts

My leg hurts

Are you in all the way?

sabotai · 05-07-2003, 03:38 PM

"You're my first"

Yeah, sure I am whore. Now spread 'em.

Ksyrup · 05-07-2003, 03:44 PM

"Ahhh those wacky Bush twins."

Franklinnoble · 05-07-2003, 03:46 PM

"Holy cow, what happened to Christina!?!?!? "

Maple Leafs · 05-07-2003, 03:48 PM

"Well, you're cocky, but not as funny as I'd hoped."

Marmel · 05-07-2003, 03:50 PM

I haven't been fucked like that since grade school!

Franklinnoble · 05-07-2003, 03:55 PM

"I haven't been fucked like that since prison!"

Neuqua · 05-07-2003, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fritz
overheard while at a sleepover at Marmels:

"Mom, don't forget to sign my report card."

You guys are too good.

tucker342 · 05-07-2003, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fritz
"Are you peeing out the window?"
"Respect you in the morning? I don't respect you now."
"Spank my Pussy."
"a little bit of jelly and a whole lotta roll."
"why do you want me to wear the Barbara Bush mask?."
"you have a hair stuck to your forehead."
"oral sex aint worth it if you don't risk brain damage"
"what are doing with that egg beater?"

THOSE ARE GREAT

ROFL

Airhog · 05-07-2003, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Franklinnoble
"I haven't been fucked like that since prison!"

I havent been fucked like that since I was a man!

sabotai · 05-07-2003, 05:33 PM

I haven't been fucked like that since I was a hooker.

Fritz · 05-07-2003, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tucker342
THOSE ARE GREAT

and all true

AKnightofNi · 05-07-2003, 05:47 PM

"Is it soup, yet."

"BAM"

Easy Mac · 05-07-2003, 06:34 PM

Remembered another:

"Fuck me like I'm a fat bitch"

Not sure what she meant by that, but then she screamed harder, so I guess it has to do with being able to do fat women harder b/c of the extra meat.

Damn that bitch was a slut, thank god I have a good Christian girl now

...but at least she calls me god in bed.

Dr. Sak · 05-07-2003, 06:55 PM

"Did I mention the video camera?"

"On second thought lets turn off the light"

"To think of it I was trying to pick up your friend"

"I hope you are as good lookin sober"

"I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs"

"When is this suppose to feel good?"

"That leak better be the from the water bed"

"Is that you or is your matress stuffed with rotten potatoes"

"Its sure nice to be with a woman that I dont have to inflate or blow up"

"Wow you are almost as good as my ex!"

"I really hate women who think sex is suppose to mean something"

"I'm gonna need another beer to do this"

The Afoci · 05-07-2003, 07:01 PM

"I don't speak dog, but she sounds happy!"

AnalBumCover · 05-07-2003, 07:27 PM

*Zzzzzzzzz*

tucker342 · 05-07-2003, 08:06 PM

Wow I wish my sex life was this interesting...

Noop · 05-07-2003, 08:19 PM

"Baby please tell that was pre-cum that just went in my mouth."

noop

05-07-2003, 02:21 PM	#5
Fritz Lethargic Hooligan Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing	"horsey horsey horsey" __________________ donkey, donkey, walk a little faster

05-07-2003, 02:21 PM	#6
Subby lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: sans pants	"Do I get that promotion now?" __________________ Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com

05-07-2003, 02:21 PM	#7
path12 Coordinator Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Seattle, WA	"Dear Lord in heaven, forgive me for the terrible and vile sin I am about to commit......." __________________ We have always been at war with Eastasia.

05-07-2003, 02:23 PM	#8
path12 Coordinator Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Seattle, WA	Or....... "Roll Tide!" "It's rollin' baby, it's rollin'!!" __________________ We have always been at war with Eastasia.

05-07-2003, 02:28 PM	#10
Fritz Lethargic Hooligan Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing	"Are you peeing out the window?" "Respect you in the morning? I don't respect you now." "Spank my Pussy." "a little bit of jelly and a whole lotta roll." "why do you want me to wear the Barbara Bush mask?." "you have a hair stuck to your forehead." "oral sex aint worth it if you don't risk brain damage" "what are doing with that egg beater?" __________________ donkey, donkey, walk a little faster Last edited by Fritz : 05-07-2003 at 02:36 PM.

05-07-2003, 02:16 PM	#2
Bee Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Fairfax, VA	"Can we do it doggie style so I can watch the x-files."

05-07-2003, 02:19 PM	#3
TLK Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Allen Park, MI	I second the "is it in yet" but with a slight whimper in my voice. And yes, it was as pathetic as it sounds. TLK

05-07-2003, 02:20 PM	#4
Franklinnoble Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Placerville, CA	"Wrong hole"

05-07-2003, 02:31 PM	#11
Frozenrope Mascot Join Date: Feb 2003	"I hope that's the cat making that noise." __________________ It's not my show, but I'm on that show - Dick Juaron

05-07-2003, 02:44 PM	#13
cincyreds High School Varsity Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Mississippi	.........and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse. It just did. __________________ The Dallas Cowboys!! America's Team will rise again.

05-07-2003, 02:45 PM	#14
Blade College Prospect Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Edmonton, Alberta	"I said keep the bag on!" What can I say? I was suffocating!!! __________________ Just trying to get by unnoticed... Loyal fan of the Edmonton Oilers and Philadelphia Eagles.

05-07-2003, 02:46 PM	#15
Fritz Lethargic Hooligan Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing	overheard while at a sleepover at Marmels: "Mom, don't forget to sign my report card." __________________ donkey, donkey, walk a little faster

05-07-2003, 02:46 PM	#16
Easy Mac Registered User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Here	"make me cum" I had a good laugh at that one

05-07-2003, 02:50 PM	#18
moriarty College Starter Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: A negative place	"Stop wiggling your butt, you might spill my beer".

05-07-2003, 02:54 PM	#19
strait8 H.S. Freshman Team Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Vancouver BC	Will it taste bad when you cum in my mouth?

05-07-2003, 02:54 PM	#20
mrsimperless College Prospect Join Date: Apr 2003	"Be careful, that looks like it'll hurt me. Wait, just put the head in!" __________________ "All I know is that smart women are hot. Susan Polgar beat me in 24 moves in a simultaneous exhbition. I slept with the scoresheet under my pillow." Off some dude's web site.

05-07-2003, 03:04 PM	#21
Draft Dodger Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Keene, NH	true story: after a particularly athletic session, my wife said..."I didn't know I had it in me". it's been a recurring joke with us ever since __________________ Mile High Hockey

05-07-2003, 03:09 PM	#22
Franklinnoble Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Placerville, CA	"Baaaaaaaa"

05-07-2003, 03:15 PM	#24
CamEdwards Stadium Announcer Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Burke, VA	"Quick, out the back... Skydog's home!!" I really hope that one doesn't put me in the doghouse. __________________ I don't want the world. I just want your half.

05-07-2003, 03:20 PM	#26
sachmo71 The boy who cried Trout Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: TX	"You want to put your what? In my what what?" Last edited by sachmo71 : 05-07-2003 at 03:23 PM.

05-07-2003, 03:24 PM	#29
moriarty College Starter Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: A negative place	"You're not as skilled as your father"

05-07-2003, 03:26 PM	#31
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	"You've only done this with me, right?"

05-07-2003, 03:35 PM	#32
Airhog Captain Obvious Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Norman, Oklahoma	You wanna stick that in my ass? You wanna do what with my sister and me? You wanna do what with my mom and me? You wanna do what with my dad and me? You wanna do what with the neighbors dog and me? That wasnt a pussy fart, that was just air. Your done already? Your not that little My jaw hurts My ass hurts My leg hurts Are you in all the way? __________________ Thread Killer extraordinaire Yay! its football season once again!

05-07-2003, 03:38 PM	#33
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	"You're my first" Yeah, sure I am whore. Now spread 'em.

05-07-2003, 03:44 PM	#34
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	"Ahhh those wacky Bush twins." __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

05-07-2003, 03:46 PM	#35
Franklinnoble Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Placerville, CA	"Holy cow, what happened to Christina!?!?!? "

05-07-2003, 03:48 PM	#36
Maple Leafs Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002	"Well, you're cocky, but not as funny as I'd hoped."

05-07-2003, 03:50 PM	#37
Marmel Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Manchester, CT	I haven't been fucked like that since grade school! __________________ 81-78 Cincinnati basketball writer P. Daugherty, "Connor Barwin playing several minutes against Syracuse is like kids with slingshots taking down Caesar's legions."

05-07-2003, 03:55 PM	#38
Franklinnoble Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Placerville, CA	"I haven't been fucked like that since prison!"

05-07-2003, 05:33 PM	#42
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	I haven't been fucked like that since I was a hooker.

05-07-2003, 05:47 PM	#44
AKnightofNi n00b Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Texas, of course.	"Is it soup, yet." "BAM" __________________ it,it,it

05-07-2003, 06:34 PM	#45
Easy Mac Registered User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Here	Remembered another: "Fuck me like I'm a fat bitch" Not sure what she meant by that, but then she screamed harder, so I guess it has to do with being able to do fat women harder b/c of the extra meat. Damn that bitch was a slut, thank god I have a good Christian girl now ...but at least she calls me god in bed.

05-07-2003, 06:55 PM	#46
Dr. Sak Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Stuck in Yinzerville, PA	"Did I mention the video camera?" "On second thought lets turn off the light" "To think of it I was trying to pick up your friend" "I hope you are as good lookin sober" "I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs" "When is this suppose to feel good?" "That leak better be the from the water bed" "Is that you or is your matress stuffed with rotten potatoes" "Its sure nice to be with a woman that I dont have to inflate or blow up" "Wow you are almost as good as my ex!" "I really hate women who think sex is suppose to mean something" "I'm gonna need another beer to do this"

05-07-2003, 07:01 PM	#47
The Afoci Pro Rookie Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Moorhead	"I don't speak dog, but she sounds happy!" __________________ I had something.

05-07-2003, 07:27 PM	#48
AnalBumCover College Starter Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: La Mirada, CA	Zzzzzzzzz __________________ ABC's Game Giveaway list Last edited by AnalBumCover : 05-07-2003 at 07:28 PM.