 |
04-22-2003, 07:57 PM
|
#1 | ||
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
The Bill Gates Challenge, Part III: A New Hope
The Bill Gates Challenge, Part III: A New Hope
The press conference to announce the re-signing of Kodos as GM of the Gatesville Silicon Pirates: Bill Gates: I am proud to announce we have just re-signed Kodos to continue the job he started 10 years ago in New York. While the road has had its share of bumps, I have every confidence that my friend and longtime associate will be able to take us where we, as a franchise, need to go. I will now open it up to the floor for any questions you may have. Yes, Mike? Mike Wallace: I have to admit -- I’m just a little confused, Bill. Why would you extend the contract of a GM who has perhaps the worst win percentage in NFL history, barring the Bengals of the nineties, of course? Bill Gates: Well, Mike, the challenge I gave to Kodos was much more daunting than what the average GM faces. Most GMs need only worry about building their own franchise and winning games. I have charged Kodos with not only building a team from the ground up with constraints that most managers do not face, but also with thwarting the attempts of the Cowboys to field a competitive team. On top of that, Kodos has been burdened with finding a location suitable to fight with the Cowboys in close proximity, and then with motivating a team that has to operate in sub-standard facilities. Mike Wallace: But those “sub-standard facilities” you speak of were of his own design! Bill Gates: Yes, but you must understand Mike, we were forced to go small-scale in order to get the good people of Waco to take on the burden of paying for half of our stadium. If we had proposed a larger, more luxurious stadium, there is no way we would even be in Gatesville today. Mike Wallace: Yes Bill, but aren’t you alarmed that the guy has lost you almost ten billion dollars? That’s a lot of money! Surely a shrewd businessman like yourself can’t allow that to continue? Bill Gates: Well, Mike, as you know, I have pretty deep pockets. **crowd laughs** Kodos is well aware of the problem and is working to address it. Yes, Jim, do you have a question? Mike Wallace: Sir, I’m not done with my questions!... Bill Gates: Oh, you’re done, Mike. **two body guards drag Wallace from the room** Mike Wallace: JUST WHERE IS THE HIGH-POWERED OFFENSE YOU PROMISED US BACK IN 2000!!! Bill Gates **sighs** Jim? Jim Gray: Yes, I’d like to address this question to Kodos himself. Kodos: **clears throat**. Yes, Jim. What is your question? Jim Gray: Yes, Kodos, is it true that you are an alien? Kodos: Yes, Jim. It is a well-documented fact that I, along with my brother Kang, come from the planet Rigel IV. Jim Gray: So you admit then that you are an alien? Kodos: Yes, Jim. That would explain the green skin and tentacles… **gestures to himself with two pairs of tentacles** Jim Gray: And back in the 1990s, isn’t it true that you and your brother, as aliens, were involved in several attempts to take over the planet and subject us all to your, and I quote: “brutal commands”? Kodos: **laughing uneasily** Yes, Jim, that’s true. But let me assure you and the fine folks of Gatesville and the rest of this great planet, that I am out of the world-domination business. **smiles nervously to the crowd** Jim Gray: And isn’t it true that, during one of your aforementioned attempts, you were thwarted by a bartender -- one Moe Syzlak, I believe -- who chased you and your brother off using nothing more threatening than a two-by-four with a nail through it? Surely you’ll admit that that’s not very impressive! Kodos: That nail was RUSTY!!! I could have gotten lockjaw, for God’s sake!!! **Gates moves to restrain Kodos** Jim Gray: Come on, Kodos -- What kind of an alien is thwarted by a drunken bartender wielding a two-by-four? Even those little fur-ball tribbles from Star Trek weren’t thwarted THAT easily! Kodos: Yes, well the tribbles didn’t have to deal with cretins like you, Jim… Bill Gates: **under his breath** Quiet, Kodos. People! This is an NFL press conference! We are not the World Wrestling Federation! Let’s try to be civil. Connie, do you have a question? Jim Gray: ADMIT THAT YOU ARE UNFIT TO MANAGE A LEMONADE STAND, MUCH LESS AN NFL FRANCHISE, YOU STINKIN’ ALIEN-unnngggh... **Pete Rose knocks Gray out with a bat** Pete Rose: THAT ought to get me into the Hall of Fame. **winks at Kodos** Bill Gates: **nods to Rose** Connie? Connie Chung: Yes, Bill, how do you respond to allegations that you unfairly bundled Microsoft software with season tickets? Bill Gates: That's it -- This press conference is over! **rushes off the stage with Kodos** Connie Chung: **grabs one of Kodos’ tentacles as he goes by and whispers in his ear** Okay, the camera is off Kodos. Is it true that you are really a female alien? Kodos: I could ask you the same question, Connie… |
||
|
|
|
04-22-2003, 08:04 PM
|
#2 | |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
For those of you who are new to the Bill Gates Challenge, ten years ago, after a failed attempt to buy the Cowboys from Jerry Jones, Bill Gates hired me (Kodos) to be the man who would help him wreak revenge on Mr. Jones and his beloved Dallas Cowboys. What got me the job was the fact that Bill had been impressed by my repeated attempts to take over the world (or at least Springfield). Bill figured my experience in the field of hostile takeovers would make me the ideal candidate for the job he had in mind.
At the time of my hiring, Gates had outlined several rules and objectives for me, which I have reproduced for you below. After consulting with Bill, I have clarified/modified a couple rules slightly (some of you cynical folks might interpret this as "cheating") to help me in my quest to ruin Jerry Jones and his team of Cowards, errrr, Cowboys... Quote:
For the most part, I believe that I have met these objectives; in some instances, I may have failed so far, but I at least seem to be on the path to accomplishing them in the future. I successfully moved the former Giants squad to Texas back in 2007. We have beaten the Cowboys on the field, though not as often as Bill would have liked I'm sure. And Jerry Jones has been made to suffer financially, though certainly not as much as Bill has. Finally, we haven't been able to drive the Cowboys out of Texas just yet. Also, the high-powered offense that Bill envisioned at the outset of our little venture has not yet materialized, but Bill and I are confident that we are getting closer to that goal with every season that passes. We are confident that we have many of the pieces in place, and that we just need to increase our experience and cohesiveness on offense now. We also need one or two true gamebreakers to step up on offense. So, while I have not yet accomplished every goal which Bill had originally outlined, he feels that I have performed well enough to merit my continued employment as GM of the Gatesville Silicon Pirates, despite the fact that some of the pit bulls in the press seem not to agree. I am painfully aware that Bill expects to see some real progress being made, and that he may not always be so patient as he is right now. Seeing my goals clearly laid out in front of me, I will now begin Part III of the Bill Gates Challenge. Two things seem certain: It won't be easy, but it sure will be fun! - Kodos Here are links to Parts I & II of The Bill Gates Challenge: Part I: In The Beginning... Part II: Don't Mess With Texas! |
|
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 07:50 PM
|
#3 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Offseason
We entered the 2010 offseason coming off of a loss to Detroit in the Divisional Round in the 2009 NFL Playoffs, our first visit to the playoffs since moving the Gatesville. While we wanted to go farther, Bill and I both viewed 2009 as our finest season, and as a stepping-stone to a better future for the Silicon Pirates. Still, many question surrounded the team. What should we do with McNeil? Was he capable of taking his game up another notch, or should we try to replace him? How could we get to the next level? How could we steal more fans from the Cowboys? Coach/Scout Changes We were happy with the progress of the team, so we kept our lead scout, Corey Wells, as well as Coach Gibson, who we rate as excellent in most offensive categories. We need him to help this team become the offensive juggernaut that Bill and I have always dreamed of. Franchise Tag We put the franchise tag on Dave Sanders, our safety who had a breakout season in 2009. Dave is not the most loyal fellow (29 loyalty rating), and we wanted to assure that he would be wearing the red & blue in 2010. Some in the media thought we should franchise McNeil, but we decided to let McNeil test the waters of free agency when we heard rumors of the outrageous salary he was going to request to re-sign with us. 2010 Ticket Prices Well, since our $1 tickets were not getting the stands filled like we had hoped, Bill and I decided a raise in prices was in order. We figured that if we sold tickets that were half the price of Cowboys tickets, it would still seem like a bargain to the few fans we had won so far. Here are the prices we settled on:
|
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 07:51 PM
|
#4 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
He's out there.
The franchise quarterback we have been waiting for. He's out there. They call him "The Berg" in Delaware, where he put up huge numbers as a University of Delaware Blue Hens. Yes, the Blue Hens may have a silly name, but they have also had one seriously good quarterback in 6'4" Devin Bergeron for the last four years. He can throw. He can run. He can do anything we ask him to. Now we just have to figure out a way to go get him. The Patriots have the first pick in the draft this year. Time to get them on the phone... Last edited by Kodos : 04-29-2003 at 07:51 PM. |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 07:52 PM
|
#5 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Originally posted by Godzilla Blitz:
Kodos: Somehow I missed your restart a few days ago! The interview is hilarious! Classic stuff! Go Gatesville! Looking forward to more! |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 07:52 PM
|
#6 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Free Agency Period
Trading Up With our long-awaited franchise quarterback (Bergeron) just waiting for us in the draft, Bill and I had to figure out a way to move up from the 32nd pick to the 1st pick, which belonged to the downtrodden New England Patriots squad. Trading up is always costly, and the Patriots weren't going to give up the number one overall draft pick without some serious compensation. After much haggling back and forth, we finally arrived at a deal. We send to the Patriots: Jackie Tuten (2008 2nd Team All-Pro, rated at 98 run D, 97 Pass D, 83 endurance); Greg Ellis (5 time All-Pro, but washed up); Our 1st round pick in 2010 (32 overall pick); Our 1st round pick in 2011 They send to us: Their 1st round pick in 2010, the first overall pick. Losing Ellis was not a problem, but we will definitely miss Tuten, especially because he was from IU, my alma mater. But sometimes you must give up something you love to gain something else. Renegotiations Solomon Page (starting LG): 3 yrs/$9.95 million, $3.4 million bonus Nolan Cage (CB): 4 yrs/$25.30 million, $8.0 million bonus Joel Harden (starting LCB): 5 yrs/$40.19 million, $8.0 million bonus Jonathan Farmer (starting C): 4 yrs/$19.17 million, $3.5 million bonus Phil Singleton (starting WOLB): 4 yrs/$20.62 million, $4.0 million bonus Dave Sanders (starting FS)(Franchise player): 4 yrs/$29.14 million, $8.5 million bonus Roster Cuts Strong safety Alex Rubio was cut to save $3 million. Cowboy Hunting There were no Cowboys worthy of stealing this year.  Way to ruin me & Bill's fun!  The McNeil Issue Well, as we mentioned, quarterback Dexter McNeil was asking for a lot in free agency this year, but he didn't get it. San Diego tried to get him, but ran out of money. He's still asking for $19.44 million over 2 years, with a $3.69 million bonus. We'll let him sit out there some more...  |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 07:53 PM
|
#7 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Draft
Having traded up to get him, their was no doubt that we were selecting The Berg. At 6'4", 186 pounds, this quarterback out of Delaware will lead us to the promised land if Bill and I are any judge of talent. While there were two other highly rated QBs out there (Jerry Baggett and Clyde Conwell), Bergeron was our choice from day one. Baggett went to Carolina with the 2nd pick, and Conwell went to Jacksonville with the 3rd pick. Here's the rest of our 2010 draft class: Rnd 1 - Devin Bergeron, QB, Delaware I see good things comin' our way, folks!  |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 07:53 PM
|
#8 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Post-Draft Manueverings
Following the draft, we sent backup QB Edwin Mickens to Kansas City for their 2nd round pick in 2011. We also sent backup guard Nathan Osbourne to St. Louis for a 4th round pick, saving $3.5 million in the process. 2010 Season Ticket Sales We sold 21,400 season tickets this year. Looks like the price jump didn't hurt us.  |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 07:54 PM
|
#9 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Training Camp
Well, the fabulous news from training camp was that The Berg didn't bust. He stayed pretty much as we rated him in the draft. Whew! Jerry Baggett, who went to Carolina with the 2nd overall pick, also maintained his ratings. Jacksonville wasn't so lucky - they drafted QB Clyde Conwell at number 3, and he busted bigtime!  Post Camp Evaluation
Post Camp After training camp finished, we gave McNeil another call. This time, his price had come down significantly, so we re-signed him to a 3 year deal for $8.46 million with a $2.49 million bonus. Welcome back, Dexter! Hope you are ready for some competition! We also re-signed WR Todd Smith to a 1 year $960,000 deal, and backup RB Gary Walker agreed to a 1 year, $2.29 million deal. Having finished our roster dealings, we headed into the exhibition season feeling pretty good about our chances in 2010.  |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 07:54 PM
|
#10 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Exhibition Season
Overall, we were pleased with our performance in the exhibition season, though our final game was pretty bad.
Here's how the division looked after the exhibition season finished. Damn! Looks like the Cowboys might be good this year! We say: Bring it on, punks!
|
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 07:55 PM
|
#11 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Originally posted by jerk3616:
YEEEAAAA-HHHHOOOO!!! Gatesville is back! |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 08:01 PM
|
#12 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Regular Season
Starting Lineup: Offense: QB - Devin Bergeron RB - Michael Lazetti FB - Levon Wallace TE - Chuck Farley FL - Tracy Flower SE - Kyle Diaz LT - James Pond LG - Solomon Page C - Jonathan Farmer RG - Darren Cruise RT - Terrance Read Defense: LE - J.R. Morey LT - Joey Rhoades RT - Philip Sims RE - Edward Roberson WOLB - Allen Whitfield WILB - Al Ingram SILB - Ryan Dixon SOLB - Phil Singleton LCB - Joel Harden FS - Dave Sanders SS - Darrell Sutter RCB - Eddie Aber --------------------------------------------- Week 1, Game 1 Wichita (0-0) at Gatesville (0-0) We entered game 1 of the 2010 campaign without the services of starting strong safety Darrell Sutter and starting left tackle James Pond. After a good training camp where he saw the lion's share of the reps at the QB position, Devin Bergeron was the starter. Five minutes into the his first game, Berg hit Kyle Diaz for his first NFL touchdown. After that, we couldn't get anything going, and went into halftime leading by the score of 7-6. The second half went badly, with Steven Hoffman running for 3 TDs. We made it respectable at the end, but lost The Berg's NFL Debut, 25-17. Key Performers Devin Bergeron went 18/30 for 297 yards, 1 touchdown, and 1 interception. Lazetti ran for 85 yards and 1 TD on 14 carries. Kyle Diaz had a good game with 5 catches for 112 yards and a TD. Right end Edward Roberson recorded 4.5 sacks. Steven Hoffman tore us up for 168 yards and 3 TDs on 28 rush attempts en route to winning the Game MVP award. Key Injuries Starting FB Levon Wallace dislocated his shoulder and will miss 3-5 weeks. Week 2, Game 2 Dallas (1-0) at Gatesville (0-1) Game 2 of 2010 found us hosting our old enemies, the Dallas Cowboys. Both Pond and Sutter were back in the lineup for this game. During the first quarter, our offense failed to impress, gaining just 14 yards on the ground. Gino Burroughs 19 yard TD made it 10-0 for the Cowboys in the second quarter, and things were starting to look bad. However, Berg hit Todd Smith for a TD, and Lazetti ran in a 5 yard TD to put us up 14-10 at the half. In the third quarter, the Cowboys struck back when Eric Blades returned one of Berg's passes 31 yards to put Dallas on top 17-14. Undaunted, Gary Walker put us back in the lead with a 12 yard scamper, 21-17. In the fourth quarter, Hidalgo extended our lead with 2 insurance field goals, and we held on the defeat the Cowboys, 27-17. Key Performers Michael Lazetti gained just 35 yards on 23 carries, but managed to score 1 TD. Walker had 5 carries for 33 yards and a TD. The Berg went 18/28 for 209 yards, 1 TD, and 2 Interceptions in his first victory, which poetically came at the expense of the Cowboys. Al Ingram came up big with 11 tackles and an assist. Week 3, Game 3 Philadelphia (0-2) at Gatesville (1-1) Michael Lazetti's 88 yard TD run with 3 minutes left in the 1st put us up 7-3 early, and Berg's 2 second half TD throws to Smith and Flowers helped us cruise to an easy win, 30-13. Michael Lazetti won the Game MVP award with 115 yards on 21 carries and 1 TD. Key Performers Bergeron went 19/35 for 229 yards, 2 TDs, and 1 Interception. Tracy Flowers had 4 catches for 84 yards and a TD. Week 4, Game 4 Gatesville (2-1) at Denver (2-1) After leading 10-7 at the half, Dave Sanders' 95 yard interception TD put us up 17-7 in the third period. After extending our lead to 24-7, the Bronco's Joe Goodman threw two passing TDs to make it close, but we ran out the clock and won it 24-21. Key Performers Lazetti had 19 carries for 127 yards and 5 catches for 51 yards. Bergeron was 22/38 passing for 322 yards and 2 TDs. Todd Smith had 7 catches for 131 yards and 1 TD. Key Injuries Al Ingram broke his nose and will miss a couple weeks. Joey Rhoades hyper-extended his elbow and will miss 3-5 weeks, which is bad because we are very thin on the D-line. Week 5, Game 5 Arizona (4-0) at Gatesville (3-1) Levon Wallace made it back into the lineup for this showdown with our recent nemesis, the Arizona Cardinals. They have had their way with us in recent years, and we hoped that Berg might help us turn the tables on our division rivals. The first half was disappointing, as we twice got inside their 10 yard line and had to settle for a field goad. Instead of going into the half with a 14-3 lead, we lead by only a 6-3 margin. A 29 yard interception return for a TD and a 37 yard Bergeron fumble return for touchdown a minute later sunk us, and we lost 44-23. I guess every rookie QB goes through these growing pains, and The Berg is apparently no exception. Key Performers Lazetti was stymied all day, gaining just 31 yards on 12 carries. The Berg went 22/38 for 320 yards, 2 TDs, 2 Interception, and a fumble. Marshall Bowles had 6 catches for 118 yards and 1 TD. New Injuries Tracy Flowers once again got injured, hyper-extending his elbow. He will miss 2 weeks or so. Week 6, Game 6 Gatesville (3-2) at Washington (2-3) We were never in this game, as Washington went up 21-0 during the 2nd quarter. We could do nothing right this game and lost 41-10. Lazetti ran for 28 yards, Berg threw 2 interceptions. Horrid game. Horrid, horrid game against a weak opponent. To top things off, Dallas (4-2) moved ahead of us in the division after this loss. Adding Insult To Injury Kyle Diaz has shoulder tendonitis and will miss 3-5 weeks. Starting left cornerback Joel Harden suffered a pulled groin and will miss 3-5 weeks. Flowers and Cage and disgruntled. Ingram and Rhoades are still out. Week 7, Bye. Week 8, Game 7 Gatesville (3-3) at Dallas (4-3) We came into game 2 versus the Cowboys in a terrible tailspin. Hoping to give the offense a jolt, we gave McNeil the starting nod. Flowers, Ingram, Diaz, and Rhoades all came back for this game with our rivals. We went up 6-3, but former Giant Sean Bennett caught a TD pass to put us behind 10-6. McNeil hit Gary Walker for a 5 yard TD to regain the lead, 13-10, and Hidalgo's field goal put us up 16-10. A 48 yard field goal cut our lead to 16-13, and Sean Bennett clinched the Game MVP award when he ran in a 10 yarder to put us behind for good, 20-16. Key Performers Lazetti had one rush for 20 yards before going out with a concussion. Walker had 19 carries for 69 yards and 1 catch for a 5 yard TD. McNeil went 14/28 for 143 yards and a TD. Key Injuries In a familiar injury, starting right guard hyper-extended his elbow. Out 2 weeks. Lazetti is out 2 weeks with a concussion. Starting right corner Eddie Aber is out 2 weeks with a bruised ribcage. Week 9, Game 8 Kansas City (1-6) at Gatesville(3-4) With the pathetic Chiefs in town, our prospects for getting a win seemed good. Our one game experiment with McNeil over, Berg was once again installed as starter at QB. Gary Walker started in place of the injured Michael Lazetti. Two Bergeron TD passes and a 53 yard Walker run had us ahead 21-0 at the half, and we cruised to a 28-14 victory. Key Performers Gary Walker gained 147 yards for 2 TDs on 20 carries. Berg went 18/32 for 213 yards, 2 TDs, and most importantly, no interceptions. Al Ingram recorded 8 tackles, 1 assist, and 2 sacks. Kris Strong, starting in place of the injured Eddie Aber, won the Game MVP award with 3 interceptions. Last edited by Kodos : 04-29-2003 at 08:02 PM. |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 08:02 PM
|
#13 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Mid-Season Report
With half the season in the books, we find ourselves behind the Cardinals (7-1) and the Cowboys (5-4). 4-4 ain't gonna cut it, folks. This team had better get it together quickly or this season will be down the tubes for good. Bill and I are NOT happy. Oh well, things could be worse: we could be the Eagles.
Our power rating is 45, while the Cowboys are rated at 64. We are on our way to a very disappointing season if things don't change soon... |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 08:03 PM
|
#14 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Regular Season continued
Week 10, Game 9 Chicago (2-6) at Gatesville (4-4) With another down-on-their-luck team coming to visit us, our prospects of going above .500 looked decent. After a low-scoring 7-7 first half, we put up 21 point in the third quarter on a Marshall Bowles TD run, a Marshall Bowles TD reception, and a 48 yard Lazetti touchdown run. Final score: Gatesville 38, Chicago 23. Key Performers Lazetti ran 16 times for 99 yards and a touchdown. Berg went 27/39 for 373 yards, 3 TDs, an no interceptions. Flowers pulled in 8 catches for 147 yards and 1 TD. If the playoffs started today, we would be the 6th seed. Week 11, Game 10 Gatesville (5-4) at St. Louis (7-2) Eddie Aber and Joel Harden returned just in time to help our secondary against a strong St. Louis Rams squad. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to matter early, as they went up 14-0 on a Kurt Warner TD pass early in the 2nd quarter. With 2:34 left in the game and St. Louis leading 24-16, we hard the ball on our 45. A 30 yard Bergeron to Diaz pass put it on the St. Louis 25, and another pass to Diaz got us to the Ram 13. However, three consecutive passes to Marshall Bowles failed, and Bergeron threw and interception on 4th down to seal our fate. Key Performers Lazetti managed just 30 yards on 9 carries. Berg had an awful day, going 19/49 for 291 yards, 1 TD, and, sadly, 5 interceptions. Diaz's 10 catches for 200 yards were wasted in this game. Ingram had 4 tackles and 2 sacks. New Injuries Starting left guard sprained his knee and will miss 2 weeks. Flowers bruised his shoulder and will miss weeks. What a surprise. Todd Smith sprained his ankle and will miss 3-5 weeks. Starting SILB Ryan Dixon tore his calf and will be back for the playoffs, which, if they started today, would not include us. Week 12, Game 11 Gatesville (5-5) at Philadelphia (2-8) The scheduling gods sent us a gift this week, as we faced the downtrodden Philly Eagles. With our receiving corps in bad shape, we move Lazetti to wide receiver and started Gary Walker at running back. We scored 17 points in the 2nd quarter, and then again in the 4th as we won easily, 34-8. Key Performers Berg won the Game MVP award by going 20/31 for 293 yards, 3 TDs, and zero interceptions (much to our relief). Lazetti had 4 catches for 85 yards and a TD in his debut as a receiver. Walker rushes for 70 yards and a TD on 13 carries. Playoff Picture Despite the win, we still trail Detroit and Carolina, who are each at 7-4. Week 13, Game 12 Washington (5-6) at Gatesville (6-5) Lazetti accounted for most of our scoring in this game with an 8 yard TD run and a 11 yard TD catch, while Washington managed just 3 field goals and a safety. It wasn't pretty, but we came away with the win, 17-11. Key Performers Lazetti had 14 carries for 35 yards and a TD, and 5 catches for 46 yards and 1 TD. Berg went 12/22 for 168 yards, 1 TD, and 2 interceptions. You can still tell he's a rookie, that's for sure. SOLB Phil Singleton won the Game MVP award with 11 tackles, 2 assists, and 1 interception. New Injuries Starting right guard Darren Cruise broke his nose. 2 weeks. Starting tight end Chuck Farley broke his finger. 2 weeks. Joey Rhoades sprained his ankle. 2 weeks. Playoff Picture We are tied with Detroit at 7-5, but the difference is, they are in the playoffs as of today; we are not. Week 14, Game 13 Gatesville (7-5) at Arizona (9-3) We went into Arizona with many doubts. They have had our number in recent years, and we need this win to keep our playoff hopes alive. I couldn't help but wonder how Bergeron will handle the pressure. Let's hope he's not a choker like McNeil. It started well enough, and we were happy to take a 10-7 lead into the half. A Hidalgo field goal in the third put us up 13-7 after 3 quarters, and an 18-7 run in the 4th (including a Diaz TD catch and Lazetti TD run) gave us a MAJOR victory over our division rivals, 31-14. We held the cards to just 43 rushing yards in this game. Key Performers Michael Lazetti gained 118 yards and 1 TD on 13 carries to win the Game MVP award. Bergeron went 21/31 for 242 yards and a TD. Diaz pulled in 7 balls for 87 yards and a TD. Playoff Picture Our win coupled with a Lions loss to Chicago gave us the 6th seed over Detroit (7-6). Week 15, Game 14 Gatesville (8-5) at San Diego (9-4) We were hosted by a strong San Diego squad in week 15, but we weren't very good guests as we went up 20-0 in the 1st period. It got worse for them, as we lead 30-3 at the half. All this despite our gaining just 37 yards rushing and 83 yards passing in the half. We ended up winning 40-10. Former Silicon Pirates Keith "Ouch!" Bennett scored San Diego's only touchdown in the third quarter. Key Performers Darrell Sutter won the Game MVP award by catching 3 interceptions and running 2 of them back for touchdowns (70 & 63 yards). He also recorded 5 tackles and 2 assists. He also won the defensive player of the week award. Justin King had a 99 yard punt return for a TD. New Injuries Starting LCB Joel Harden has turf toe. 2 weeks. Playoff Watch A surprising Arizona loss to Washington dropped them to 9-5 and put us on top of the NFC East! I smell bye, people! Week 16, Game 15 Atlanta (10-4) at Gatesville (9-5) For the third straight week, we faced a team with 9 or more wins. And for the third straight week, we won. Actually, this win was our 5th consecutive win, dating back to our week 11 loss to St. Louis. After taking a 10-0 lead in the 1st quarter, we didn't look back, and won 25-7. Key Peformers Broderick Hidalgo, our kicker, won the Game MVP by hitting 6 field goals (23, 28, 38, 39, 45, & 50 yards). Bergeron was 22/38 for 259 yards, a TD, and an interception. New Injuries Al Ingram suffered bruised ribs. 2 weeks. Levon Wallace also bruised his ribcage. Same prognosis. Playoff Picture Sittin' pretty atop the NFC East. Week 17, Game 16 Gatesville (10-5) at Tampa Bay (4-10-1) Harden and Ingram sat out this game. In what should have been an easy victory, we were just wretched, gaining just 14 yards on 13 carries. We lose 20-3. Key Performers Berg went 15/30 for 142 yards and 2 interceptions. Playoff Picture The unlikely loss gives Arizona the division crown, while we have to settle for 2nd. It should have been ours!!! This is NOT how we wanted to go into the playoffs!Anyhow, we will have a rematch from week 11 with St. Louis (11-5) in the Wild Card Round. We lost that game 24-16. Will history repeat? Stay tuned, and keep your fingers crossed folks... |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 08:03 PM
|
#15 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Wild Card Round
Gatesville (10-6) at St. Louis (11-5) We entered our rematch with St. Louis with starting right tackle Terrance Read and starting right end Edward Roberson listed as probable and questionable, respectively. But it being the playoffs, we played both of them. Al Ingram and Joel Harden also returned for the Wild Card showdown with the Rams. St. Louis gave the home crowd reason to cheer when Kurt Warner hit Morris Renken for a TD in the first quarter. We answered when Berg hit Marshall Bowles for a 4 yard TD later in the quarter to tie the game at 7-7. From then, our offense bogged down a bit, and we settled for 3 Hidalgo field goals while taking a 16-7 lead over the Rams, which was the score as we headed into the fourth quarter. With 11:13 left in the game, fullback Levon Wallace ran one in from 15 yards out to apparently seal the game 23-7. Again, Hidalgo added a field goal, and we were sittin' pretty at 26-7. But, with 5:44 left in the game, Warner scrambled 2 yards to tighten the score up, 26-13. Strangely enough, they missed the extra point. On the next drive, we went 3 and out, giving Warner and the Rams the ball back much too quickly, which we ended costing us. Starting on his own 36, Warner hit Renken for 43 yards on the first play to take it to our 21. Two plays later, with 2:36 left in the game, Renken caught his second TD of the day and moving them within one touchdown of beating us, 26-20. Again, our offense sputtered, going 3 and out in just 38 seconds. The Rams were driving downfield again when Eddie Aber picked off Warner's final pass of 2010 with 51 ticks left on the clock. Mercifully, we were able to run the clock out, and escaped St. Louis with our first ever playoff win!!!! Break out the champagne, Bill!!!Key Performers Al Ingram came up big in helping us hold the Rams to just 35 rushing yards for the game. All told, Ingram recorded 8 tackles, 4 assists, 1 sack, and an interception in garnering the Game MVP award. Berg was quietly efficient, going 23/40 for 275 yards and a touchdown. No interceptions. Tracy Flowers came up with 7 grabs for 114 yards, while Kyle Diaz pulled in 7 balls of his own for 77 yards. Michael Lazetti had a quiet day, gaining only 24 yards on 18 carries. We'll need better production out of him if we hope to go into Green Bay and win in the Divisional Round. You can bask in this victory tonight, boys, but come tomorrow, it's back to work! Mmmmmmmm--Victory! I like the taste of it!!! |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 08:04 PM
|
#16 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Divisional Playoff Round
Gatesville (11-6) at Green Bay (11-4-1) We undertook the journey to the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field in pretty good shape injury-wise. Edward Roberson's dislocated shoulder put him on the questionable list, but we started him anyhow. As it turned out, it was a rainy day at Lambeau Field, with the temperature at 35 degrees. We figured this bode well for us. We went up on the Packers midway through the first quarter when Hidalgo hit a 36 yarder to cap off our first drive of the day, which had started back at our own 7 yard line. After stopping Green Bay on their next series, Bergeron hit Rusty Benson for a 46 yard touchdown on the first play of our second drive. Unfortunately for us, Benson happens to be a Packer. 7-3, Packers. Halfway through the second quarter, Matt Hasselbach found Bubba Franks from 15 yards out to extend their lead to 14-3. Broderick Hidalgo's second field goal of the day drew us closer with 1:10 left in the half. When Hasselback coughed it up on his own 34 with 22 seconds left, we were back in business. 2 plays later Hidalgo hit a 53 yarder to make it 14-9 at the break. In the second half, Green Bay capitalized on a Bergeron fumble when running back Gino Heath ran in a 23 yard touchdown to cap off Green Bay's 39 yard drive. It sure comes easy when you give them a short field to work with.  It was starting to look grim with us falling behind 21-9, but Hidalgo's fourth field goal of the day brought us to 21-12 late in the third. Unfortunately, Lincoln Anderson's 43 yarder extended the Pack's lead once again, erasing the dent we had made in their lead. With 12:48 left in the game, and trailing 24-12, we started a drive from our own 18. It quickly became the Michael Lazetti show, as Lazetti first carried the ball 17 yards, then 8 yards, then caught one for 10 yards, ran again for 3 yards, and then broke off a 49 yard run to bring the score to 24-19 with 9:57 left in the game. With some newly found momentum on our side, Hidalgo kicked off to Burt Hoffman, who promptly fumbled. When Marshall Bowles recovered it at the Green Bay 16, the game had taken on a different complexion indeed. I could almost hear Adrian echoing from Rocky: "Win, Kodos, Win!" Three plays later, when Berg hit Bowles for a three yard touchdown, I felt sure in my heart that we were destined to win this game. When Rickey McGregor caught Berg's pass for the conversion, we were up 27-24 with just over eight and a half minutes left in the game. Momentum was now firmly on our side.Following the score, we traded stalled drives with Green Bay, and punted the ball to their 17 yard line with just 2:47 between us and a trip to the NFC Championship game. What followed was the wildest finish I have ever participated in during my 11 seasons of running this team. On first down from his own 17, Hasselbach hit K.C. Brady, who gained 28 yards before Kris Strong was able to take him down. On the next play, Gino Heath ran it up the middle for 5 yards. That took the game down to the two minute warning. Coming back from the timeout, Hasselbach wound up and hit Burt Hoffman for a 58 yard score. After the extra point, Green Bay was on top 31-27 with 1:54 left to go in one of our seasons. Rickey McGregor received Anderson's ensuing kickoff, and returned it to our 19 yard line. From there, Berg went to work, first hitting tight end Chuck Farley for 15 yards, then finding Michael Lazetti for a 29 yard gain. With just over a minute left, Berg ran a draw, gaining 4 yards. Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick!!! 1:05 left. Getting the next play off quickly, Berg found Tracy Flowers for 27 yards. We called a timeout with just 43 seconds left in the game! From the Green Bay 6 yard line, Berg found Bowles in the end zone. Advantage: Gatesville! We lead 34-31 with just 35 seconds left to go. We think that we're going to the NFC Championship!!! Green Bay thinks otherwise. Following a touchback on the kickoff, Green Bay found themselves needing to gain 40 to 45 yards to give Anderson a chance to send this game to overtime. On first and ten, Hasselbach launched the ball to K.C. Brady, who took it all the way to the house!  NO-NO-NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Green Bay is up 38-34 with just 26 seconds left in the game!!!! How could this happen?  Maybe we have a miracle play left in us too! Please let us have one! PLEEEEASE! Following Rickey McGregor's kickoff return, we find ourselves on our own 13 with just 11 seconds in the game. On first down, Berg tries to hit Bowles, but is hurried and the ball falls incomplete. There is only time for one play left. Berg drops back and launches a prayer to a streaking Tracy Flowers! He drops it! Flowers drops it!!! The Packers win... The Packers win. Our season is done. Here is the game printout. I can't talk about it anymore. Me and Bill are just sick. We had this game. We HAD it! This is going to hurt for a long time... Box Score: Gatesville Silicon Pirates at Green Bay Packers Attendance: 74,200 (74,200), No-Shows: 0. Weather: 35 degrees, rain. 1Q: 08:37 GTV - Broderick Hidalgo 36 field goal. 1Q: 05:50 GBY - Rusty Bensen 46 interception return. 1Q: 05:50 GBY - Lincoln Anderson extra point. 2Q: 07:55 GBY - Bubba Franks 15 pass from Matt Hasselbach. 2Q: 07:55 GBY - Lincoln Anderson extra point. 2Q: 01:10 GTV - Broderick Hidalgo 26 field goal. 2Q: 00:00 GTV - Broderick Hidalgo 53 field goal. 3Q: 11:57 GBY - Gino Heath 23 run. 3Q: 11:57 GBY - Lincoln Anderson extra point. 3Q: 03:37 GTV - Broderick Hidalgo 31 field goal. 4Q: 13:09 GBY - Lincoln Anderson 43 field goal. 4Q: 09:57 GTV - Michael Lazetti 49 run. 4Q: 09:57 GTV - Broderick Hidalgo extra point. 4Q: 08:29 GTV - Marshall Bowles 3 pass from Devin Bergeron. 4Q: 08:29 GTV - Devin Bergeron pass to Rickey McGregor for conversion 4Q: 01:48 GBY - Burt Hoffman 58 pass from Matt Hasselbach. 4Q: 01:48 GBY - Lincoln Anderson extra point. 4Q: 00:26 GTV - Marshall Bowles 6 pass from Devin Bergeron. 4Q: 00:26 GTV - Broderick Hidalgo extra point. 4Q: 00:21 GBY - K.C. Brady 80 pass from Matt Hasselbach. 4Q: 00:21 GBY - Lincoln Anderson extra point. Game MVP: GBY 30 Rusty Bensen
A long flight back to Gatesville awaits us now... and a longer offseason. |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 08:04 PM
|
#17 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Playoffs Continued
NFC Championship Green Bay carried their momentum from beating us (robbing us) into the NFC Championship and demolished the Falcons 41-0 to advance to the 2010 Super Bowl. AFC Playoffs Pittsburgh defeated Denver easily in the AFC Divisional round, winning 38-10. San Diego was their next victim, falling 38-7 in the AFC Championship game. |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 08:05 PM
|
#18 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Super Bowl
We felt a certain satisfaction in watching the Packers get pummeled by the Steelers to the tune of 38-14. No glory for you! Super Bowl MVP Quarterback Buddy Mattingly of Pittsburgh garnered the MVP award based on a 25/36, 282 yard performance with one touchdown pass. 2010 NFL MVP In his seventh year in the league, Green Bay running back Gino Heath supplemented his 2008 Super Bowl MVP award with the 2010 NFL MVP award. He gained 1311 yards and 11 touchdowns rushing, while also catching 55 passes for 510 yards and 1 touchdown this season. He also received the 2010 Offensive Player of the Year & All-Pro 1st Team Running Back awards in 2010. What an utter jerk. |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 08:05 PM
|
#19 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Originally posted by Godzilla Blitz:
Ouch! Ouch! That's gotta hurt. I feel your pain, Kodos, really I do. An 80-yard bomb with seconds to go. Damn. What a way to go. Just remember though. Buddha tests us all. You cannot achieve the ultimate glory of nirvana without walking the burning pits of hell. Now is the time, when all seems dark, to steel your determination to walk the road to its end. Now is the moment of choice, that pivotal crossroad when we decide to win or give up, and such a decision can only be made in the midst of utter ruin. Go Gatesville! Your fans will not desert you! Or something like that. And just remember, no matter what happens, it always could be worse. You could be a Red Sox fan. |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 08:06 PM
|
#20 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Thanks for the inspirational words, Godzilla. I remain dedicated to my cause, though this was a tough setback for my team.
As a side note, it's kinda hard to find enough time play as much of each football game I own as I would like. With the EA PS2 games, and FOF, my football time is hard to allot! Especially when you throw a girlfriend in the mix who likes to see me once in a blue moon... |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 08:06 PM
|
#21 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Originally posted by jerk3616:
Hey... When girlfriends become wives, you'll have more time than you can use. At least if your girlfriend/wife is like mine. |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 08:07 PM
|
#22 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Ahh. A reason to hope in the future!
|
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 08:07 PM
|
#23 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Final Standings
Oh dear. ANOTHER losing season for Dallas. Damn the bad luck! I hope they don't start losing fans!
|
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 08:08 PM
|
#24 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Individual Stats
QBs I think Bergeron had a pretty good rookie season, though there were some bumps along the way. But in a year or two, I really believe that he will be tearing up the league's defenses. Especially if we can find him a game-breaking receiver (or two).
Runners Well, Lazetti had a respectable year I guess, but we expect more out of him than we got this year. There were games where he was quite ineffective for us on the ground. Gary Walker provided us with a nice change-of-pace back again this year. Name GP GS Att Yards Avg Lg TD Receivers Well, once again, Kyle Diaz made up for what he lacks in athleticism with his heart for the game. He lead the team in yardage and touchdowns, despite being a lesser athlete than some of our other guys. Kyle may never earn All-Pro recognition in the league, but as far as we're concerned, Kyle is going to be the first guy inducted into the Gatesville Ring of Honor.
Defenders Well, we really gutted our defensive line last season in order to acquire the first pick in the draft, and I think our linebackers suffered for it. Big Al Ingram did not put up his typical number of tackles this season. Allen Whitfield did well enough, but he will never be a dominant backer like Ingram was in past seasons. Hopefully Al can get back on track next season.
Sack Leaders Roberson got himself 9 sacks this year, which is a good number for someone of his talent level. Rhoades, on the other hand, did not come close to living up to his potential. With Tuten and Ellis gone, we need him to step up his game in 2011.
Secondary Lots of guys got picks this year. A good effort by our secondary overall.
|
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 08:08 PM
|
#25 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Individual Awards
Broderick Hidalgo earned All-Pro 2nd Team Honors as a kicker this year. He converted on 33 of 36 field goal attempts this season (the NFL record is 35). He also went 38/39 on P.A.T.s. Bergeron did not earn any honors this season, but did put up the second highest number of passing yards by a QB in 2010. Tee Martin put up 3819 yards, while Berg finished with 3720 yards. Berg also finished second in TDs thrown, with 22. Marty Petkovich finished the year with 26. Berg did pretty good for a rookie, if I do say so myself. |
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 08:08 PM
|
#26 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Team Rankings
Season Ending Power Ratings: Gatesville: 55 Dallas: 19 <-- Somebody's stinky!Team Rankings for 2010 Season Well, our offense seems to be coming around, but the defense definitely suffered with the loss of Tuten and Ellis.
Again, the offense seems to be shaping up nicely, rating second (tied with Atlanta at 379) behind Pittsburgh, who had 392, while the defense was very middle-of-the-road, ranking seventeenth out of 34 in the all-important points allowed. Still, we'd rather have the second ranked offense and seventeenth rated defense then the other way around. That much is for sure! Makes for much more exciting games.
|
|
|
|
|
04-29-2003, 08:09 PM
|
#27 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2010 Franchise Info
Attendance Well, our attendance took a bit of a hit with the price increase, but we were more upset with Dallas' increased attendance despite the fact that they stunk up the place this year. What is wrong with these fans?
* Our last season in New York. ** Dallas' first year with their renovated stadium. Fan Support
2010 Profits/Losses Hmmmmm. We raise the ticket prices, we lose more money than last year. At least Dallas' profits were down.
2010 Franchise Values Okay, what on God's green earth is going on here? I guess the new stadium is helping Jerry Jones' wallet out quite a bit. Damn! And here we are stuck in tiny Microsoft Stadium until something like 2022!!! Criminy! Years of driving their value down erased in one season. At least our value has gone up more than theirs has over the same period. ($75,160,000 vs. $39,870,000, respectively)
Table Of Losses Through 2009 We are now a mere $1.5 billion away from having lost $10 billion over the years. I don't care how much dough Bill has, THAT'S GOTTA HURT!
Well, as far as 2010 is concerned, that is all she wrote, folks. See you in 2011. - Kodos |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:23 PM
|
#28 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2011 Offseason
Coach/Scout Changes Since we seem to be improving, and there is nobody better available, we stick with our guys. Franchise Tag We see no need to employ the Franchise Tag this year. Ticket Prices After a bad season, the Cowboys elected to keep their ticket prices the same as they were last year. We do the same, figuring a price hike would keep our stadium attendance from going up.
|
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:24 PM
|
#29 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2011 Free Agency Period
Bill and I were very concerned to see cornerback Nolan Cage's ratings dropping substantially, especially when we considered his high salary cap numbers ($6 million in 2011, $6.5 million in 2012, and $7.2 million in 2013). We put him on the trade block, but nobody was even slightly interested, so we decided to bite the bullet and cut him, saving ourselves $4 million in 2011, but taking a cap hit of $2 million this year and $4 million in 2012. Gotta admit, the fact that we signed him for so much doesn't reflect well on me. Think, McFly, THINK!!! With the money we saved on Cage, we re-signed wide receiver Kyle Diaz to a 4 year, $25.69 million deal with a $8.3 million bonus. Some in the media accused us of overpaying for a player on the downside of his career, but Bill and I thought it was worth it to reward the only guy who has been here from the very start. Tired of his injury problems, we put receiver Tracy Flowers on the trading block. Green Bay, Carolina, and Wichita were all very interested, but we ended up keeping him because they were offering too little in return. With starting RB Michael Lazetti in the final year of his contract, we made it a priority to re-sign him to a new deal. Both sides walked away happy with a 4 year, $28.48 million deal that included a $4 million bonus. Next, we locked up starting tight end Chuck Farley for 3 years with an $11.67 million deal that included a $1.5 million bonus. Allen Whitfield, our starting WOLB, was given a 3 year deal worth $14.52 million, including a $3.6 million bonus. Starting MLB Al Ingram was extended for 3 years at $14.35 million, $2.64 million bonus. Backup RB Gary Walker is asking for $32 million over 3 years to back up Lazetti. For THAT kind of money, you'd better be a starter, Gary! Good luck in free agency! Cowboy Hunting There are NO free agent Cowboys this year. What a crock! Has Jerry picked up on our little strategy?!? The 20 Step Period of Free Agency With 10 steps down in free agency, Seattle made an offer to Walker, but ended up going over the cap in step 11. Sorry Gary! Starting strong safety Darrell Sutter signed with New England in step 14. After the free agent period had officially ended, Walker, WR Todd Smith, CB Kris Strong, and restricted free agent CB Eddie Aber were still unsigned. Maybe we can pick some of them up after camp, and for much less moolah. |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:24 PM
|
#30 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2011 Amateur Draft
With no first round draft pick in 2011 (sent to New England last year in trade to get the first overall pick), we found ourselves outside looking in during the first round of the 2011 draft. Knowing that we needed to replace a departed receiver and a corner, we had three main targets on our draft board: Ralph Randle, a 6'3" WR out of Washington that was consensus rated at 5.2/6.3. Mack Gardner, a 5'10" CB out of Baylor rated at 3.9/7.0. Edgar Justus, a 5'7" CB rated 4.7/4.7 out of Texas. We watched the first 7 picks go with all three of our guys remaining on the board, though two other receiver were taken instead of Randle. Then, at pick 8, Carolina traded with Oakland to move up, and we had seen enough. We got Carolina on the horn, and traded starting RE Edward Roberson (and his 9 sacks from 2010), starting RDT Philip Sims, and our first round pick in 2013 to them in exchange for the current pick. In retrospect, we probably gave them too much, but we really wanted to give Bergeron a good target, and Randle was the best receiver on the board in our evaluation. So, we paid the price to move up, and got Randle at pick number 8 in 2011. Mack Gardner went to San Diego at pick 18, but Edgar Justus fell to the 2nd round, where we greedily gobbled him up with the 5th pick of the round. Here is our 2011 Draft Class. Hopefully we picked up some gems! Rnd 1 - Ralph Randle, WR, Washington Rnd 2 - Edgar Justus, CB, Texas Rnd 2 - Cedric Horton, RB, Stanford Rnd 3 - Jamie Bronson, G, Texas Tech Rnd 4 - Gabe Sims, RB, Virginia Rnd 4 - Heath Bryant, S, Texas - El Paso Rnd 5 - Robbie Duncan, C, Wake Forest Rnd 6 - Kenyon Makovicka, DE, Baylor Rnd 7 - Rodney Drayson, LB, Baylor After the draft, we signed Randle to a 7 year deal worth $49.63 million, with an $18 million signing bonus. He had BETTER pan out! |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:24 PM
|
#31 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2011 Season Ticket Sales
Out of 59,200 seats available, we managed to sell just 23,300. It'd be nice if we could actually fill our undersized stadium at some point. In case you haven't noticed people, these are bargain prices we are giving to you to see a team that has made it to the Divisional Round in the playoffs for 2 consecutive years and that finished second in scoring in 2010. Put on your stinkin' ten gallon hats, get in the one car from the fleet on your front lawn that actually moves, and come see us! PLEASE! We don't have any communicable diseases, I swear (well, maybe with the exception of Solomon Page, but what do you expect? He's a former Cowboy!)! |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:25 PM
|
#32 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2011 Training Camp
Well, the good news from camp was that Randle didn't bust. The same can't be said for the two receivers drafted in front of him! Thank you, Corey Wells! Here is how Corey rated out roster post-camp:
After camp, we were able to sign Todd Smith to a one year deal for $1.03 million, and Eddie Aber for one year at $2.21 million. Also, former Silicon Pirate LB Cary Claiborne was brought back in with a 1 year, $1.55 million deal that included a $300,000 bonus. Reserve corner Kris Strong was signed to a $1.03 million dollar deal. To save $650,000, we traded backup center Timmerman to Richmond for their fifth round pick in 2012. WR Marshall Bowles was cut to save $900,000. Gary Walker was still asking for too much, so we let him stay out of football in 2011. You might want to get yourself a new agent, Gary... |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:25 PM
|
#33 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2011 Exhibition Season
The exhibition season did not go all that well. We stunk up the place in our opener at Kansas City, but fared better afterwards. Week Opponent Result Attend No-Shows Here's how the NFC East looked after exhibition season was over. Dallas went undefeated and finished on top of the division, but they did that last year too, and managed to go only 6-10 during the regular season. Hey Jerry! Here's some free advice: It's much more impressive when you win during the regular season, not during the exhibition season! Here's to history repeating itself in 2011!
Well, nothing left to do now but go on to the 2011 Regular Season! We may have stumbled a little in the exhibition season, but we are confident that we will be a contender in the upcoming season. Bring it on! Let's get this thing going! |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:26 PM
|
#34 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Originally posted by Godzilla Blitz:
This could be the year! Outside of DL, your team looks solid! Make 'em pay, Kodos, make 'em pay for their arrogance! |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:26 PM
|
#35 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Originally posted by Alf:
True, but the DL really stinks ! |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:27 PM
|
#36 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Outside of Joey Rhoades, we've got nobody. But from what I can tell, D-line isn't all that crucial in this game. I do miss my All-Pro DT Jackie Tuten though. Especially since he hailed from IU. But, I had to get Bergeron somehow... sacrifices must be made.
Hopefully it won't hurt me too much. |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:27 PM
|
#37 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
2011 Regular Season
Starting Lineup As you can see, we have a lot more continuity on offense than we do on defense at this point. Hopefully that will translate into a strong offensive showing this year! Offense QB - Devin Bergeron HB - Michael Lazetti FB - Levon Wallace TE - Chuck Farley FL - Ralph Randle* SE - Tracy Flowers LT - James Pond LG - Solomon Page C - Jonathan Farmer RG - Darren Cruise RT - Terrance Read Defense LE - Brandon Jeffers* LT - Joey Rhoades RT - Dexter Schulz* RE - J.R. Morey WOLB - Allen Whitfield WILB - Al Ingram SILB - Cary Claiborne* ROLB - Phil Singleton LCB - Joel Harden RCB - Edgar Justus* FS - Dave Sanders SS - Billy Joe Shannon* * = Was not a starter last year |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:27 PM
|
#38 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Week 1
Gatesville (0-0) at Philadelphia (0-0) ============================================= Inactive Players Starting LG Solomon Page will sit out this game due to bruised ribs. He should be back in 2 weeks. Third CB Eddie Aber is out for 2 weeks with a broken finger. Game Summary Philadelphia's opening drive of 2011 ended with Hunter Phillips hitting Buddy Liu for a 13 yard touchdown. However, Michael Lazetti's 15 yard rushing TD just before the half gave us a small 10-7 lead. Lazetti's second score of the day, an 8 yard scamper, extended the lead to 17-7, and from there we never looked back, winning 26-7, while holding Philly to just 81 yards rushing and 132 yards passing for the game. Key Performers Michael Lazetti gained just 39 yards on 16 carries, but 2 of those resulted in touchdowns. Bergeron had a decent outing, going 24/40 for 282 yards, with no touchdowns or interceptions thrown. Rookie WR Ralph Randle had 7 catches for 78 yards in his NFL debut. ============================================= Dallas at New York Jets The Jets hand the Cowboys loss number one of the 2011 campaign, 27-14. J-E-T-S JETS-JETS-JETS!!! |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:28 PM
|
#39 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Week 2
Gatesville (1-0) at Green Bay (0-1) ============================================= Game Summary Green Bay enjoyed a solid first quarter and found themselves with a 10-0 lead at the end of one. Two Hidalgo field goals drew us a little closer, but we still trailed 13-6 at the half. Our offense kept up the trend of stalling and kicking field goals in the third quarter, which ended with us trailing by just one point, 13-12. Hidalgo's fifth field goal of the day gave us the win, 15-13. It was not a pretty win, with us gaining only 43 yards on the ground, while Green Bay only gained 56 on the ground. Key Performers Broderick Hidalgo earned the Game MVP award based on his 5 field goals (21, 32, 43, 44 & 45 yards). Michael Lazetti continued to struggle, gaining just 23 yards on 21 carries. Berg was 22/35 for 287 yards and no TDs or Ints. Ralph Randle pulled in 7 catches for 125 yards in his second NFL outing. ============================================= Arizona at Dallas Arizona wins, but not impressively: 17-10. Cowboys are 0-2. |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:28 PM
|
#40 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Week 3
Tampa Bay (0-2) at Gatesville (2-0) ============================================= Attendance: 38,000 Game Summary In a yawner for the home crowd, Hidalgo once again provided our only semblance of offense, kicking 3 field goals in the first half and giving us a 9-0 lead. Two Eric Zeier touchdown passes in the third gave Tampa the lead, but we got it back when Berg hit backup tight end Woznicka for a 15 yard score. After a failed two point conversion, we lead 15-14. With 2:01 left in the game, Hidalgo hit his fourth field goal of the the day, and we helf on to win 18-14. Key Performers Lazetti's slump continues, as he gained just 38 yards on 11 carries. On top of that, he hyperextended his elbow, and will miss 3-5 weeks. Berg went 18/27 for 171 yards and a touchdown, but we are concerned that he has thrown just one TD in 3 games. Cornerback Joel Harden came up with 9 tackles. ============================================= Dallas at Detroit Lions It's 0-3 for the Cowboys, as they dropped this one by the score of 27-20 in the Silverdome. |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:28 PM
|
#41 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Week 4
Washington (2-1) at Gatesville (3-0) ============================================= Attendance: 42,700 Game Summary With Lazetti inactive due to the elbow injury, rookie Chuck Horton, a second round pick this year, got the start, but backups Videl and Sims will see the field as well. We are also experimenting with Diaz at split end, since Flowers has low endurance. An early blocked punt by rookie corner Edgar Justus gave us the ball on Washington's 17 yard line. Two plays later, Berg found Randle for a 5 yard score, Berg's second TD pass of the season. On the ensuing kickoff, Allen Whitfield knocked the ball out of the returner's hand and we fell on it at the Washington 23. Unfortunately, Berg and the offense couldn't do anything with the good field position, and we settled for a Hidalgo field goal, which put us up 10-0 with less than 4 minutes elapsed in the game. Eventually, Washington answered with a Ben Berry TD grab from QB Wade Aleman to make it 10-7. So, despite having gained just 14 yards in the first 15 minutes, we found ourselves leading the Skins 10-7 after one. In the second half, it was a field goal festival masquerading as a football game, and God knows, the fans don't want a game like that to end, so we went into overtime with a 16-16 tie. In OT, a 53 yard run by Horton put us on the Washington 2 yard line, and Berg ran it in himself the next play to win 22-16 and push us to 4-0 in 2011. Key Performers Chuck Horton, in his first NFL start, ran for 67 yards on 12 carries, though it should be noted that 53 of those yards came on one carrry. He averaged a whopping 1.27 yards on his other 11 carries. Ralph Randle continued to be the lone bright spot on offense, catching 5 balls for 74 yards and a score. Berg wasn't bad, but wasn't good either, going 18/31 on his way to gaining 253 yards passing, 1 TD, and 1 interception, as well as 1 rushing TD. New Injuries Starting tight end Chuck Farley broke his foot this game, and will miss 3-5 weeks. ============================================= Dallas at Philly Well, the good streak had to end (I guess), and unsurprisingly, it came at Philly, who gave the Cowboys their first win of 2011, 20-13. The Cowboys are now 1-3. |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:29 PM
|
#42 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Week 5
Arizona (3-1) at Gatesville (4-0) ============================================= Attendance: 43,800 Game Summary With our toughest division rivals, the Arizona Cardinals, in town, we knew we would have to have our best performance of the season if we were to come away with a win, and, more importantly, a two-game lead on the Cards in the NFC East. Though Lazetti was not fully recovered from his elbow injury, we put him back into the starting lineup for this key battle with our division foes. The game started off ugly, with Arizona going up 10-0 on a 53 yard bomb to Marshall "Marshall-Marshall-Mashall!" Brady from Dean Bartley. It got worse from there, and we went into the half trailing 16-3. To open the second half, we managed to get a holding penalty on the kick return which pinned us on our own 2 yard line. One play later, Lazetti was tackled in the endzone, and we were down 18-3. Just when it was looking hopeless, free safety Dave Sanders picked off Bartley and ran it back to the Cards' 1 yard line. After Berg ran a draw for the touchdown, it appeared we were back in the game, down 18-10. Not so fast. The Cards hit a field goal to answer, and on our next possession, Berg returned the favor Zona had given to us, throwing a pick to Earnest Morton that he returned for a touchdown. 28-10. Christmas in October! You're welcome! Would you like the division lead too? Well here it is!Berg hit Diaz late to make it look respectable (28-18), but we went to the lockerroom with Arizona having once again kicked our butts. Does anyone know how we can beat these guys? Key Performers Lazetti gained 38 yards on 10 carries. Oh, and no TDs. Berg went 16/31 for 218 meaningless yards, 1 meaningless TD, and 2 very meaningful interceptions. He also had 5 carries for 18 yards and a TD, not that it mattered. Sorry, but the problem with Arizona has given me a bad attitude. We have a good record, but I can't avoid the creeping feeling that we are not really a good team right now... ============================================= Dallas at Washington The bright spot of the weekend was the fact that Dallas was shut out, losing 17-0 and falling to 1-4. |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:29 PM
|
#43 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Week 6
Gatesville (4-1) at Dallas (1-4) ============================================= Game Summary Chuck Farley sat this one out, but everyone else was back for our first matchup with the hated Cowboys. If anything can pump some life into this team, a Cowboys game can. To shake things up, we opted to start the wily and crafty veteran Dexter McNeil over the Berg, who we thought could learn a few things from the bench this week. The number of stalled drives in the red zone this year has been utterly unacceptable. Also, the experiment with Diaz at split end is over, with Flowers reclaiming the starting spot. Diaz will still see plenty of action though. Our red zone problems (and Lazetti's miserable season) continued, with Lazetti coughing it up on the Dallas 12 yard line in the first quarter. Despite the miscue, we lead them 7-0 after one quarter of play, thanks to a McNeil-to-Flowers 16 yard touchdown. In the second quarter, the Cowboys tied it up 7-7, then went up 14-7 after recovering a fumble on the ensuing kick. Lazetti earned a bit of redemption when he ran one in to tie the score at 14 all before the half. In the third quarter, a Hidalgo field goal gave us the lead once more. He kicked another early in the fourth to extend our lead to 6 points. A McNeil draw play that went for a score gave us a more comfortable 26-14 lead, even though we botched the 2 point conversion that would have given us a two touchdown lead. Hidalgo hit a late field goal for some insurance points, and we came out of Texas Stadium with a 29-14 win! Not pretty, but a win over Dallas is always special. Key Performers Lazetti snapped out of his funk to gain 98 yards on the ground on 19 carries, including a rushing TD. He supplemented that with 6 catches for 70 yards on his way to winning the Game MVP award. McNeil went 25/40 for 236 yards and a TD. Al Ingram is having an off season, and recorded just one tackle in this game. Many folks are wondering what is wrong with Big Al. We are too... ============================================= Dallas is now 1-5. Nice team ya got there, Jerry! Maybe you can bring in Quincy Carter! THAT guy is a Magic Man!As you can see, my spirits have lifted considerably after handing the Cowboys their 5th loss in 6 games. |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:30 PM
|
#44 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Originally posted by Godzilla Blitz:
I tell, you, Kodos, this could be the year! How is your run defense doing? They have got to be the only question mark. And man, how many field goals does Hidalgo have? He must be on a record pace! Go Gatesville!!!! |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:30 PM
|
#45 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Well, my run defense seems to be doing okay (I think due to my linebackers since my D-line sucks). I'm more worried about the lack of production on offense. We need touchdowns, not field goals! Olindo Mare got the field goal record in Marino's last season, and we know how far that got my poor 'Phins in the playoffs.
I don't want the same thing to happen to the Pirates. Our offense needs a kick in the pants or something... |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:31 PM
|
#46 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Week 7
Gatesville (5-1) at Detroit (3-2) ============================================= Inactive Players Al Ingram (sprained ankle - 2 weeks) and Chuck Farley are out. Game Summary We start Berg again, hoping his little stint on the bench will help snap him out of his slump. Detroit's O-line is really banged up, so we plan to blitz more than usual. Berg strikes early, hitting Lazetti for a 3-yard score with 9 minutes left in the first quarter. Unfortunately, Detroit responded with a 13-yard Tracy Bradford touchdown run. Berg struck again before the end of the quarter, hitting Ralph Randle for a 23 yarder to give us a 14-7 lead after the first 15 minutes. When Zach Barker found William Hurt for a 38 yard score, we were tied once again at 14 all. We went into halftime leading 17-14 after Hidalgo kicked a field goal with just 29 seconds left. In the third quarter, we traded field goals, and then Berg got his third TD pass of the day, hitting Kyle Diaz for five yards to give us a 27-17 lead. Detroit, however, refused to die, and Barker found Gabe Turner deep for a 51-yard score. We were leading 7-24 when Levon Wallace ran it in from 2 yards out to give us some breathing room. Once again, the never-say-die Lions responded, with Barker hitting Turner again, this time for 33 yards and a score with just 2:44 left in the game. Detroit elected to kick it deep, hoping that their defense would get them the ball back. It did, but with only 11 seconds left after Hidalgo hit a 46 yarder. We win, 37-31. Key Performers Lazetti had a good game again, this time rushing 22 times en route to gaining 118 yards on the ground, as well as one three-yard TD reception. Berg had his best game of the year so far, going 22/36 for 245 yards, 3 touchdowns, and no interceptions. For this, he was awarded the Game MVP honors. Crafty old Kyle Diaz had himself 9 catches for 105 yards and a score. New Injuries We won this game, but at a cost: Phil Singleton, our starting SOLB, tore his knee cartilage and will return in 2012. Allen Whitfield, our starting WOLB, sprained his ankle and will miss 2 weeks. Tracy Flowers, our starting split end, bruised his shoulder and will miss 2 weeks. Rickey McGregor, WR, suffered a stretched knee ligament, and will miss 3-5 weeks. Adam Bernard, a backup WR, is out for the season with a broken fibula, and Heath Bryant, a backup safety, will miss 2 weeks with a deep thigh bruise. Summing up: OUCH! ============================================= Indianapolis at Dallas The Colts (Count On Losing This Sunday) lived up to their acronym, giving the Cowboys their second victory of the season, 22-17. The Cowboys are now 2-5. |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:31 PM
|
#47 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Week 8
Bye. We put Phil Singleton on injured reserve Monday afternoon. ============================================= Dallas at Arizona The Cardinals win 31-23 in a game where we weren't completely opposed to the prospect of Dallas winning. Oh well, it was still nice to see the 'Boys sink to 2-6 on the season. |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:31 PM
|
#48 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Week 9
Dallas (2-6) at Gatesville (6-1) ============================================= Attendance: 42,000 Game Summary Al Ingram and Chuck Farley are back for our second game of the season with "little d." As we likely won't being seeing them in the playoffs this year, we vowed to really give them our best effort for this one today. Strong safety Billy Joe Shannon's early interception led to a quick score for us. After stuffing the Cowboys' next series, Berg hit Lazetti, who proceeded to take it to the house from 90 yards away. When Al Ingram forced a fumble which Allen Whitfield recovered, we were on our way to a 21-0 start. Dallas tried to get back into the game when they ran in a TD, but Julio Monroe's touchdown return on the ensuing kick pretty much told the Cowboys how their day was gonna end. Berg was injured late in the third quarter, and McNeil came in and threw two more TDs for us. Final score: Gatesville 49, Dallas 28. Dallas is now 2-7. Key Performers Berg was 14/26 for 195 yards, 2 TDs, and 1 Interception before he left the game with an injury. He should be ready to go in week 10 versus the 2-6 Colts. Dexter McNeil went 6/11 for 84 yards and 2 TDs in just over a quarter's worth of play. Lazetti won the Game MVP award based on 15 carries for 73 yards, 1 TD, and his 3 catches for 118 yards and 2 TDs. I'd say he is out of his slump, folks! |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:32 PM
|
#49 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Mid-Season Report for 2011
With half of the season finished, we found ourselves in the familiar second place spot (based on Arizona having beaten us head-to-head). Here's how the division stacks up right now:
Our mid-season power rating is 76, which is first in the NFC. Arizona and Chicago are one point behind at 75 each. Dallas doesn't even register on the power meter... In the AFC, San Diego is 8-0 with an eye-popping 98 power rating! <== Could this be a bad year to reach the Super Bowl? Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves here... |
|
|
|
|
05-01-2003, 06:34 PM
|
#50 |
|
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
|
Week 10
Gatesville (7-1) at Indianapolis (2-6) ============================================= Game Summary We blew into Indianapolis riding high on a 7-1 record. With the hapless Colts sitting at 2-6, it looked to be an easy win indeed. Still, in the back of my mind, I feared we weren't as good as our record might indicate... Midway through the first quarter, Berg found Todd Smith for a TD and an early 7-0 lead. The Colts answered twice, once with a field goal, and once with a Manning to Pollard 17 yard score that put us on the short end of a 10-7 score. Their lead was short-lived, as 40 seconds later, Cedric Horton ran one in from 61 yards out to reclaim the lead, 14-10. A Hidalgo field goal before the half gave us a one-touchdown advantage, 17-10. In the second half, Dana Hewitt's 18 yard run tied the game at 17, and Bill and I started to get a little nervous. Our fears appeared misplaced when Hidalgo's second field goal of the half gave us a 23-17 lead with just 6 seconds left on the clock, and the players started to celebrate going to 8-1. However, the celebration was cut short when Peyton Manning hit a streaking Ron Wolf for an 80-yard score as time expired and the Colts won, 24-23, and we all faced a suddenly much longer flight home back to Gatesville... Key Performers Horton made the most out of his 7 carries, gaining 92 yards and 1 TD. Lazetti did less well with his 20 carries, gaining just 61 yards and no TDs. Berg went 18/28 for 179 yards, 1 TD, and 1 Interception. New Injuries Kyle Diaz suffered a dislocated knee and will miss the rest of the season. Starting center Jonathan Farmer bruised his shoulder, and will miss two weeks of action. ============================================= Minnesota at Dallas To round out a rather crappy weekend of football, the Cowboys won the most boring game in history against the Vikings, 6-3, to improve their record to 3-7. When it rains, it pours, I guess... |
|
|
|
 |
| Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
| Thread Tools | |
|
|
