Colossal Squid Hollywood Moments

[Fritz]

just a snippet:

INT. COLOSSAL SQUID'S APARTMENT - DAY

CLOSE ON an alarmed COLOSSAL SQUID.

COLOSSAL SQUID
Lobsterboy? What are what are you doing here?
REVERSE ANGLE reveals MARMEL sitting on her bed.

MARMEL
Did you get my letter, Squiddy? The one about
WSUCougar?

COLOSSAL SQUID
You sent that?

MARMEL
Uh-huh. I was worried about you.

COLOSSAL SQUID
Well...thank you. But...you know you're not supposed to be within four hundred fathoms of me.

MARMEL
(excited)
That's what I want to tell ya. I've been through two years of extensive psychotherapy and you know what? You were right--I needed help.

COLOSSAL SQUID
(cautious)
That's great, Lobsterboy, I'm happy you're better--you seem...good--but...you put me through quite an ordeal, you know.

MARMEL nods aggressively.

COLOSSAL SQUID (cont'd)
I had to move, go to court, change my last name--you stole all my shoes!

MARMEL stands up.

MARMEL
Look at me.

COLOSSAL SQUID turns her head.

MARMEL (cont'd)
Look at me, COLOSSAL SQUID. On my mother's soul, on
God above, on everything that is holy to
me, I did not steal your shoes.

COLOSSAL SQUID
Lobsterboy, I caught you red-handed.

MARMEL
All right, I did, but I was in a weird
place then.

He approaches her.

MARMEL (cont'd)
Give me a break, Squiddy, I was nuts!

COLOSSAL SQUID backs into the living room.

INT. KSYRUP'S CAR - DAY
Ksyrup and Fidatelo are parked right out front LISTENING TO THIS CONVERSATION. They seem concerned.

COLOSSAL SQUID (V.O.)
Lobsterboy, please, you're starting to scare me.

KSYRUP
Who the hell's Lobsterboy?

Fidatelo just shrugs.

BACK ON COLOSSAL SQUID and MARMEL. =~

COLOSSAL SQUID
I'm asking you to leave.

MARMEL
(gentle)
Oh, COLOSSAL SQUID, honey, you're taking this all wrong.
(beat)

I'm not leaving...

BACK IN KSYRUP'S CAR

MARMEL (cont'd) (V.O.)
...Not until I get a little something to remember you by.

COLOSSAL SQUID (V. O . )
(clearly struggling)
Stop that! No! Somebody help me!!!!!

Ksyrup and Fidatelo jump out of the car and RUN INTO THE BUILDING.

CUT TO:

INT. COLOSSAL SQUID'S APARTMENT - DAY
Ksyrup and Fidatelo STORM INTO THE ROOM and freeze at what they see.

THEIR POV - MARMEL is cradling SEVERAL SETS OF SHOES in his arms and trying to crawl to the door while COLOSSAL SQUID holds him back.

COLOSSAL SQUID
Stop it!

MARMEL
Just one set! You owe me that much, you heartless bitch!
Ksyrup and Fidatelo grab MARMEL and throw him down on the couch.
KSYRUP

MARMEL, you're pathetic, fucking over your
friend WSUCougar like that.

MARMEL
What? You fucked him over, too.

KSYRUP
He's no friend of mine.

[Marmel]

That would make a good movie. I could see Cameron Diaz as the Squid.

[Calis]

Hmm, would a squid wear a "pair" of shoes?

[Fritz]

Originally posted by Calis
Hmm, would a squid wear a "pair" of shoes?

good catch. and fixed

[damnMikeBrown]

The Octopus from 10,000 Leagues Under the Sea is available for work I hear.

[JeeberD]

Nevermind...

[Ksyrup]

Originally posted by Fritz
good catch. and fixed

I found another problem. My car's a one-seater.

And no, Fidatelo was not in my lap.

[cuervo72]

Originally posted by Marmel
That would make a good movie. I could see Cameron Diaz as the Squid.

I wonder how much that would gross on Hollywood Mogul?

[Swaggs]

I wonder if they could remake Sphere with the Colossal Squid as Samuel Jackson's phobia. Hmmm.

[Fritz]

Colossal Squid is supposed to be taking over Will Smith's role in the next Bad Boys movie.

[Swaggs]

Once Colossal Squid polishes up his acting pedigree a bit, I can see him becoming the next James Bond.

[Franklinnoble]

I've heard he turned down the lead villain role in the "Spider-Man" sequel because they wouldn't change the character's name from Dr. Octopus...