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Old 04-07-2003, 08:57 AM   #1
revrew
Team Chaplain
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
ZFL signup thread!

Welcome, FOFC'ers, to the ZFL! This is an opportunity for you to get in a little low-time-commitment, trash-talking, bragging-right league action against other FOFC'ers!

The ZFL is an alternative pro football league scattered in 10 cities across the U.S.A. The rosters of all 10 teams are set to begin; we just need 10 willing G.M.s!

A ZFL G.M.'s responsibilities are:
1. Name your team (subject to commissioner approval--profane or lewd names will not be permitted)
2. Name your "kicker" (explained later) -- something like Butch, Boris, Webster Slaughter, Princess Sofia, whatever.
3. Root for your team, including a trash-talking it up a bit against your opponents
4. Conduct the year-end drafts (this is the only time-intensive activity)
5. Trim the new year's roster as necessary
6. Make trades, if desired.
and 7. (optional) post your own logo, team events, or newsclippings, whatever. You're even welcome to name your own players. The more you put into the creative process, the more you will get out of being a GM.

All of this is done right here, on this board, without any outside downloads, websites, or programs.

Interested in becoming a ZFL G.M.? Check the next post...

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Old 04-07-2003, 08:57 AM   #2
revrew
Team Chaplain
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
The ZFL was born out of a hobby of mine--reducing complex sporting events into simpler games capable of being played with a deck or two of standard playing cards. I've turned basketball, football, and now league football into games people can play with a deck of 52!. My father-in-law and I have duked it out on my football version several times (which is a pretty cool set-up, if a bit simplistic strategically), and I've developed and run personal ZFL leagues, refining the system until it was ready to invite you in.

The rosters of the 10 teams have been set up randomly (using the deck of 52, or actually, I'm using Rook cards, so 56). There is no gameplay necessary on your part, as the scores of games are determined according to a complex mathematical process. The year end draft, however, does require a G.M. to make his or her selections and make roster room for the rookies.

Still with me? Here's how it works: Each team has 18 position players, each who have numerical value as a player (which, however, you won't see. Only your scouts can help you there). Those 18 players then calculate in rational ways to compete with an opponent's 18, producing a final score and victor. The league plays round robin (since the mathematical result between two teams would be the same almost every time you played), with the best-record team crowned champion. Tie-breakers for the championship are first head-to-head record, then FEWEST POINTS AGAINST (since defense wins championships).

Following the final week, a 3-round draft is conducted, and the rosters become full at 21 players. By the third year of the league, some players will have to be cut (of course, some players will age or be injured and lose ability, while others may increase in skill--your scouts will help you understand this later)

If you're up for a little friendly (or not so friendly) competition, proceed to the next post.
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Old 04-07-2003, 08:57 AM   #3
revrew
Team Chaplain
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
Games are generally low scoring, as the ZFL doesn't use crossbars or placekickers. The game is touchdown only. There is, however, one player called the "Kicker" whose only job is to break a tie. How? By kicking the butt of the other team's kicker, of course. No ties in the ZFL; just one man chosen to go mano-a-mano for all the marbles in a gladiator-style event after regulation. The winning "kicker" nets his team 3 points and the victory.

Your first team is stocked already from NFL, CFL, and NFL Europe cast-offs. The rosters have been built randomly, so some are already quite a bit stronger than others. It is, I'm afraid, what they call "the luck of the draw."

When you choose which city you will GM for (and name your team), you will be given a break down of your squad, including its strengths and weaknesses. In subsequent drafts you will be better able to customize your gang.

Regular season will pass quickly, as I will compute scores and dish out brief game summaries to move us through the 9-game season.

Leading up to draft day, there will be 40 or so available players to draft (in 3 rounds), whose positions and talent (as well as busts and breakouts) will be determined by the Rook cards. You will be given a Mel Kiper-like breakdown of the draft board, including his thoughts on where certain players might be drafted, and from there, my friends, you'll be on your own.

Drafting may go a bit slow, and will kill this league if you can't participate with speed around draft days, so please keep that in mind before signing up. If you're not a frequenter of this board, please leave room for those who are.

The rest, I think, will make itself clear in time. Just one more post before you're ready to sign up...
__________________
Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes
Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year
Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL!
I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference.
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Old 04-07-2003, 08:58 AM   #4
revrew
Team Chaplain
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
Your team will consist of:
1 QB
1 HB
1 FB
2 OG
2 OT
2 Receivers
and one "Kicker" on offense

2 DT
2 DE
1 MLB
1 OLB
1 Corner
1 Safety on defense

The cities you may choose to G.M. for are:
Los Angeles
Portland
San Antonio
Omaha
Chicago
Little Rock
Birmingham
Knoxville
Milwaukee
Albuquerque

If you're ready to sign up, choose a city, team name, and kicker name. First come, first serve, and we'll begin. Remember, there is little you need to do to participate (except around draft day), but the more you put into this and make it a creative experience, the more you'll get out of it!
__________________
Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes
Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year
Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL!
I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference.
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Old 04-07-2003, 09:24 AM   #5
sachmo71
The boy who cried Trout
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: TX
Ok, I'd like to play. Since there is no Dallas team, I'll take San Antonio.

Well will be called the San Antonio Margaritas.
My kicker shall be known as Eater of Sandwiches.
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Old 04-07-2003, 11:30 AM   #6
Swaggs
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
I will take the Little Rock Slick Willies.
My kicker will be Mr. Ed.
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Old 04-07-2003, 02:47 PM   #7
revrew
Team Chaplain
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
San Antonio Margaritas, managed by Sachmo
"Las Vegas has already set the line at 21 for any team San Antonio plays this year. They're offense is just that incredible. The defense also ranks in the league's leaders. An early and easy pick for the ZFL crown, don't be surprised if the Margaritas go undefeated this year.

San Antonio, however, more so than the other teams in the ZFL, is composed of former NFL and CFL players and has a serious problem with age. The quality of their roster will decline quickly in subsequent years, and while the defense is set to be spectacular for a long time, Sachmo may want to consider doing some trading if he wants his offense to stay on top.

Star of the squad? Sheesh. Pick one."
__________________
Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes
Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year
Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL!
I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference.
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Old 04-07-2003, 02:49 PM   #8
revrew
Team Chaplain
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
Little Rock Slick Willies, managed by Swaggs
"Little Rock has a solid offense, led by their fantastic young RB, but unfortunately, their defense is MIA. Will the Slick Willies be able to overcome their defensive handicap? Or will it be too much to bear?

Meanwhile, keep an eye on their RB, a world-class sprinter with strength to back it up, harvested from a refugee camp in Afghanistan. It's a good thing his contract is locked up in Little Rock, or the NFL would gobble him up for sure."
__________________
Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes
Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year
Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL!
I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference.
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Old 04-07-2003, 03:02 PM   #9
revrew
Team Chaplain
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
In Eater of Sandwiches and Mr. Ed, the best two Kickers in the league have already been claimed. But the best QBs are still out there, as is the best defense. Of course, so is the worst team. Who's next to take a gamble?
__________________
Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes
Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year
Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL!
I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference.
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Old 04-07-2003, 03:04 PM   #10
NevStar
High School Varsity
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Raleigh, NC
Why not?

Albuquerque Isotopes.
My kicker is Duff Man, of course (ooohh yeah!)
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I can't think of a clever signature.
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Old 04-07-2003, 03:07 PM   #11
Marmel
Grizzled Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Manchester, CT
LA Stars

Kicker: Val Kilmer
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81-78

Cincinnati basketball writer P. Daugherty, "Connor Barwin playing several minutes against Syracuse is like kids with slingshots taking down Caesar's legions."
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Old 04-07-2003, 03:16 PM   #12
illinifan999
Pro Rookie
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: VA
Chicago Eagles.

kicker: Little Foot.
__________________
Chicago Eagles
2 time ZFL champions
We're "rebuilding"
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Old 04-07-2003, 03:28 PM   #13
Coffee Warlord
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Colorado Springs
Portland Sea Biscuits

Kicker: Vladimir von Vladimir

Last edited by Coffee Warlord : 04-07-2003 at 03:40 PM.
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Old 04-07-2003, 06:59 PM   #14
digamma
Torchbearer
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: On Lake Harriet
Knoxville Rednecks

kicker: Peyton Manning

Go 'Necks!!!
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Old 04-07-2003, 07:22 PM   #15
The Afoci
Pro Rookie
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Moorhead
hey if it could, would it be alright if omaha became fargo, then I could be Fargo Fighting Crawfish with my kicker being "You better guard your daughter or they will be" Les "their" Cherry"s". Otherwise it could be the Omaha Fighting Crawfish. Either way.
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Old 04-07-2003, 07:50 PM   #16
revrew
Team Chaplain
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
L.A. Stars, managed by Marmel
"L.A., frankly, stinks. Don't be surprised if they can't win a single game this year. In fact, I wonder if they'll even score a point, they're so bad."

"That being said, L.A. does have a respectable defense, and teams won't likey beat the Stars by much."

"The only real good news for L.A. is that they are a remarkably young team and should see improvement next year (especially after signing the first overall pick of the draft). Their middle linebacker, a thumb-sucking 21 years old, may already be the best MLB in the ZFL."
*****
Portland Sea Biscuits, managed by Coffee Warlord
"Portland should be a competitive team, boasting a solid offense and defense. They may give up a few rushing scores this year, but early prognosticaters pick Portland to make a run at the title.

The star of the club is their diaper dandy offensive guard, a 20-year old bulldozer from Nevada. He flunked out of UNLV (which is a sad statment to make of anyone), and never achieved eligibility. The NCAA's loss is the ZFL's gain, however, and he looks ready to plow over any defender in his way."
*****

Omaha Fighting Crawfish, managed by The Afoci
"Omaha is a bad team well on their way to getting worse. What few good players they have are getting old, and The Afoci had better draft well and avoid injuries if he wants to turn this club around.

Omaha has a few stars, at WR, OG, and MLB, but don't bother getting to know them--they may not be around long. Good luck, xxx, you're going to need it."
******
Chicago Eagles, managed by Illinifan
"Chicago has a couple of key components in place for a great year. They have one the league's best quarterbacks and the unquestionably best defense. Will anyone even be able to score on this team?

Chicago's problems are that the rest of the offense is a little sparse, and that defense is getting a bit long in the tooth. Good management will probably keep Chicago on the top, but a bad break could topple the team quickly.

Chicago has several stars, especially on defense, but young studs at OG and RB are likely to make some noise in future years. Look for Chicago to make a push for this year's title."

*******
Knoxville Rednecks, managed by Digamma
"Knoxville has many of the building blocks to be a dangerous team in years to come. They have an oustanding running game now, and young players throughout the team waiting for an opportunity to step up.

The Rednecks are a bit weak right now in the secondary, but other teams might look the same way facing Knoxville's star wideout. At 6'4 and clocking speeds not normal for land animals, the track-star-turned-football-player will only get better if he learns to use his hands as well as he uses his feet."
******
Albuquerque Isotopes, managed by Nevstar
"Albuquerque is a dangerous team. The Isotopes boast the best gunslinger in the league, a young Brett Favre, who at 22 years old, should light the league up for a long time.

Of all the ZFL teams, Albuquerque might be the best set up to consistently play well over the long haul.

Their defense could use some help now, but in time..."
__________________
Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes
Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year
Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL!
I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference.
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Old 04-07-2003, 08:35 PM   #17
Coffee Warlord
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Colorado Springs
Portland Sea Biscuits, Season 1 Lineup

QB - Ivan Ivavich (25 yrs old)
RB - Antonio De La Tonio (33 yrs old)
FB - Boris 'Bruiser' Boriche (26 years old)
WR - Manfred von Richthofen (21 years old)
WR - Werner Voss (25 years old)

OT - Gustov Gustavson (28 years old)
OT - Lothar von Richthofen (24 years old)
OG - Erik Flamebeard of the Neither Here Nor There (20 years old)
OG - Jumbo 'the Bumbling Bimbo' Bowen (21 years old)

DT - Colonel Joseph C. McCormick III (23 years old)
DT - Maximillion Powers (29 years old)
DE - Markus Augustus Flavius Adrius (26 years old)
DE - Wussius Athleticus Amus Himus (22 years old)

MLB - Freddie 'The Head' Morris (21 years old)
OLB - Kang (28 years old)

S - Billy Jim Bob Lee Whittaker (30 years old)
CB - Kosh (33 years old)

This club lives and dies by its stars. Its other players are just along for the ride. The Richthofen brothers and the dreaded madman, Erik Flamebeard of the Neither Here Nor There make up the anchor of this team, who play their games with ancient truths that were written so long ago: Never get involved in a land war in Asia, and never mess with a Sicilian when death is on the line.

Go Sea Biscuits!
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Old 04-07-2003, 09:20 PM   #18
illinifan999
Pro Rookie
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: VA
Chicago Eagles
Season 1 line-up

QB- Vincent Steele (24 years old)
RB- Randy Steele (22 years old)
FB- Will Gonzales (25 years old)
WR- Chad Spears (26 years old)
WR- Greg Klavier (23 years old)
OT- Dre' Smly (22 years old)
OT- Tom de Pierre (21 years old)
OG- Tom Sanders (20 years old)
OG- Mark Sheet (30 years old)
K- Little Foot (25 years old)

DT- Victor Green (30 years old)
DT- Marshall Williams (30 years old)
MLB- Zach Urlacher (32 years old)
OLB- Ray Brown (29 years old)
DE- Jason Pepper (34 years old)
DE- Ahmad Mohammed-Abdullah (28 years old)
S- Ajimba Haad- (34 years old)
CB- Deniable "Get out of my house" Cook (27 years old)

Vincent and Randy Steele are the leaders of the offense. Tom Sanders is a young guard who is the line leader. On defense the line is older, but still has a few years left.
__________________
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2 time ZFL champions
We're "rebuilding"

Last edited by illinifan999 : 04-07-2003 at 09:23 PM.
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Old 04-07-2003, 11:10 PM   #19
tucker342
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Iowa City, IA
Birmingham Braves

Kicker: Lebron James
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Old 04-07-2003, 11:19 PM   #20
Swaggs
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Little Rock Slick Willies

Kicker "Mr. Ed" 33 -- A
QB Dixon Spiller (21 y/o)
WR Carlton Bender (26 y/o)
WR Stuart Rembert (33 y/o)
OT Renaldo Buckler (33 yo)
OT Harold "Slim" Stockwell (27 y/o)
OG John Boy Eddison (25 y/o)
OG Wally Breadendbutter (21 y/o)
HB Rajah Saleem (20 y/o)
FB Benjamin Buford Branson (23 y/o)

DT Lee Roy Buttersworth (33 y/o)
DT James "Jellybean" Johnston (25 y/o)
DE Billy Bob Branson (28 y/o)
DE Eddie Lee Washington (23 y/o)
MLB Denver Mills (24 y/o)
OLB Hobart Smith (22 y/o)
S Beaumont Braxton Branson (28 y/o)
CB Scott Glass (27 y/o)


The Slick Willies are a team divided by the less talented locals from the greater Little Rock-area, like the Branson brothers and Wally Breadenbutter, among others and the more talented imports to the area like veteran DT Lee Roy Buttersworth, WR Carlton Bender, OT Renaldo Buckler and exciting young newcomer Rajeh Saleem.

Will the locals and the imports learn to work together and win? Stay tuned...
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Old 04-07-2003, 11:58 PM   #21
revrew
Team Chaplain
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
Gentlemen naming your team members, BRAVO! We's gonna have some fun now!

Tucker, good to see you join the mix. Only need some poor sap...I mean, one more chap to take up Milwaukee. Never fear Bud Seligs out there, L.A. and Omaha have already been taken. Nobody can be worse than they are, right? hehe

A question has been raised that is worth sharing with the group...young players DO stand a likely chance of improving. By the time they hit 25 or so, however, they are in their prime and will likely stay there. Older players won't just go away, their skills will start tailing off until you can't stand them on the team anymore.
__________________
Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes
Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year
Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL!
I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference.
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Old 04-08-2003, 12:02 AM   #22
revrew
Team Chaplain
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
Birmingham Braves, managed by Tucker342
"Birmingham has built a solid, though aged running game to grind it out on the ground. Their passing game is poor at best, and their defense is just too young to know any better.

What's this add up to? A nightmare for GM Tucker.

The star of the squad is probably their up-and-coming young safety and a up-but-failing OLB.

That's the problem with Birmingham. Too many "buts". Tucker will have to get his "but" moving if he wants to build a winner in 'Bama."
__________________
Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes
Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year
Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL!
I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference.
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Old 04-08-2003, 04:26 AM   #23
DolphinFan1
College Benchwarmer
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Connecticut
OK, I'll bite. I'll take Milwaukee.

We will be called the Milwaukee Muscle Men.

Our kicker will be called, "Hercules."
__________________
GM of the Milwaukee Muscle Men of the ZFL. The 1st team in ZFL history to have a perfect losing season.

I am on a quest to show that the Dolphins can win the Super Bowl. Or should I say Front Office Bowl, with FOF2K7.


The revival of an old favorite, FOFC Wrestling Dynasty
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Old 04-08-2003, 09:03 AM   #24
revrew
Team Chaplain
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
Thank You, Dolphin Fan! The inaugural season of the ZFL will shortly be under way!

I will get Dolphin's roster PM'd to him shortly, then post the Muscle Men's season preview. After that, I will give us all a couple of days to get familiar with our rosters. I don't expect there will be much trading before the first season, but the trading deadline is the fourth week of the season. Once game five results are posted, no more trading that season.

Which brings us to a question of rules--how do you scout an opponent if you are interested in trading? Perhaps you can ask me for a report on a certain position (i.e. "Who's got a B or better DE I could seek a trade for"). When y'all discuss trades amongst yourselves, feel free to share the scout's reports as you like. Everyone's scout is the same, so a player's evaluation remains constant no matter the team. The primary reason I've PMd your rosters is to prevent cluttering this thread.

Then, yet before this week is out, I'll begin posting game results with brief synopses of the action (hopefully posting one week's results each weekday, so that our 9-week season concludes quickly.) If you've named your players, I will attempt to weave their names into the synopses.

If this thing really takes off, maybe we will have expansion in the future? Who knows?

One more note regarding player progression -- young guys will not move from an F to an A. Ever. But the younger the guy, the more potential he has to move upward. Rarely, one guy will bust through and take a leap upward, but mostly, you can expect the young guys to only progress marginally. Drafted Rookies will not play up to potential their first year, regardless, and may take 3 or 4 years to reach full potential. (Believe it or not, this is all determined by those lovely Rook cards).

The older a player gets, however, he is guaranteed to start dropping off. Still, a 40-year-old playing in this league is not an impossibility.

At the end of the season, I will inform you of injury and progression prior to the draft.
__________________
Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes
Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year
Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL!
I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference.
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Old 04-08-2003, 09:05 AM   #25
revrew
Team Chaplain
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
Milwaukee Muscle Men, managed by Dolphin Fan
"The Milwaukee Muscle Men aren't likely to make Wisonsinites say 'Packers who?' anytime soon. In fact, it might be a while before they're willing to admit the Muscle Men are from Wisconsin.

But that doesn't mean the cause is hopeless. A QB who will win some games all by himself, a young DE with speed to burn, and a 20-year-old puppy at OLB who may already be the best in the league, might surprise some teams.

Be patient, Cheeseheads, Milwaukee will brew up a football team yet."
__________________
Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes
Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year
Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL!
I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference.
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Old 04-08-2003, 04:06 PM   #26
DolphinFan1
College Benchwarmer
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Connecticut
SEASON ONE: MILWAUKEE MUSCLE MEN

K- Hercules 22 y/o
QB- Bullseye 29 y/o
RB- Thor 21 y/o
FB- The Hulk 30 y/o
WR- Conan 27 y/o
WR- The Flash 30 y/o
OT- Big Foot 23 y/o
OT- King Kong 25 y/o
OG- Goliath 31 y/o
OG- Odysseus 24 y/o

DE- Wolverine 27 y/o
DE- Rocky 22 y/o
DT- Sampson 26 y/o
DT- Godzilla 28 y/o
MLB- Goldberg 21 y/o
OLB- Superman 20 y/o
CB- Spartacus 21 y/o
S- He-Man 24 y/o

You all might as well just forfeit all the games now. As you can see by my roster, I have assembled the greatest cast of superheroes, mythical beings and real life power men to ever set foot on a football field. They will beat the hell out of all my oppenents. If you do get lucky to even tie my team, Hercules will take you out in O.T. And that's all I have to say about that.
__________________
GM of the Milwaukee Muscle Men of the ZFL. The 1st team in ZFL history to have a perfect losing season.

I am on a quest to show that the Dolphins can win the Super Bowl. Or should I say Front Office Bowl, with FOF2K7.


The revival of an old favorite, FOFC Wrestling Dynasty

Last edited by DolphinFan1 : 04-08-2003 at 04:09 PM.
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Old 04-08-2003, 04:12 PM   #27
Coffee Warlord
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Colorado Springs
I have the Red Baron and his brother.

I fear no superheroes.

And do not forget. Not only do I have Kang.

I have Kosh, the ultimate alien.

and....

ERIK FLAMEBEARD OF THE NEITHER HERE NOR THERE!

Last edited by Coffee Warlord : 04-08-2003 at 04:13 PM.
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Old 04-08-2003, 05:15 PM   #28
NevStar
High School Varsity
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Raleigh, NC
K Duff Man(29) - Duff Man is thrusting in the direction of the team. Ohh Yeah!
QB Moe "Kid Gruesome" Sizzlack (22) - Perhaps his skill revolves more around offering the opposing secondary lots of free booze before the game.
WR Hans Moleman (22) - Yeah, he's only 22. He got a lot of sun when he was a lad.
WR Carl Carlsson (23) - Black guys have names like Carl.
OT Groundskeeper Willie (25) - Acch.
OT Ralph Wiggum (21) - His cat's breath smells like cat food.
OG Clancy Wiggum (33) - The whole family shows up here.
OG Barney Gumble (28) - Would never let anybody sack Moe.
RB Martin "Team Discovery Channel" Prince (33) - If we can get him to stop prancing through the line, we might have a running game.
FB Homer "Jay" Simpson (25) - Once ate 12 donuts in 8 minutes.


DT Stampy the Elephant (28) - Sure to clog up our opponents running game.
DT Captain McAllister (30) - Y'arrr
MLB "Lenny" (27) - One name, like Prince or Madonna.
OLB Cletus "The Slack Jawed" Yokel (27) - We pay him in roadkill
DE Jimbo Jones (23) - He once poked a dead guy with a stick.
DE Seymour "The Pricipal of Defense" Skinner (23)
S Troy McClure (20) - You'll remember him from interceptions like that last one, where he returned it for a TD.
CB Herschel "Hey Hey" Krustofsky (28) - Is seltzer allowed on the playing field?

Coffee Warlord illegally signed Kang to be on his team. We'll be pressing charges and/or sending hired goons.
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Old 04-08-2003, 06:19 PM   #29
Coffee Warlord
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To quote someone disturbingly missing from your lineup.

HAAAAAAAAA-ha!
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Old 04-08-2003, 08:05 PM   #30
NevStar
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Quote:
Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
To quote someone disturbingly missing from your lineup.

HAAAAAAAAA-ha!


D'oh! I knew I forget someone. There's always the draft.
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Old 04-08-2003, 08:11 PM   #31
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I can't wait to see Erik Flamebeard of the Neither Here Nor There's name go across ESPN's bottom line.
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Old 04-08-2003, 10:51 PM   #32
tucker342
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Iowa City, IA
QB Zeus 22
WR Revrew 32
WR Apollo 26
OT Poseidon 30
OT Ares 28
OG Aphrodite 25
OG Dionysus 33
RB Artemis 33
FB Hephaestus 28

DT Hera 23
DT Athena 21
MLB Troy 25
OLB Arkantos 33
DE Kamos 21
DE Ajax 22
S Odysseus 23
CB Hades 28

Can I change the name of my team to the Birmingham Gods? If not that's okay
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Old 04-08-2003, 10:53 PM   #33
Coffee Warlord
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You still cannot top Erik Flamebeard of the Neither Here Nor There, even WITH your gods!
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Old 04-08-2003, 11:21 PM   #34
tucker342
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Iowa City, IA
The Birmingham Times

Birmingham Ready To Get Their Asses Kicked

Can it get any worse for this team? With maybe the worst QB in the league in Zeus , Birmingham's passing game is going to be nonexistant. Even though they have one of the top WR in the league in Revrew, he's not going to be getting the ball much, becuase Zeus won't be able to get it to him.

The Running game should be solid, with Artemis leading the way, he's one of the greatest backs in the league, and he will have to have a huge season for Birmingham to be any good. He will mainly be running behind OG Dionysus, as he is by far the best lineman on the team, and one of the best in the league.

The defensive line is by far the biggest weakness on the team, as the oldest player is 23, and three of the players are ranked as an F.

The LBs are solid. And last but not least, S Odysseus and CB Hades should lead an okay secondary.

This should be a pretty long season for Birmingham. If this team wants to score any points this year they will have to give the ball to Artemis the whole game. The defense is going to go through alot of growing pains this year, don't be surprised for Birmingham to give up a lot of points at the beginning of the year.

Expected Finish: 2-7

Anywhere from 7th place to 9th place.

Here's to a high draft position next year!

Last edited by tucker342 : 04-08-2003 at 11:28 PM.
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Old 04-09-2003, 02:04 AM   #35
DolphinFan1
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Location: Connecticut
Hey, Odysseus already plays for my team. Yours must be a clone.
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Old 04-09-2003, 06:53 AM   #36
Swaggs
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Quote:
Originally posted by DolphinFan1
Hey, Odysseus already plays for my team. Yours must be a clone.


You got the fat Odysseus.
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Old 04-09-2003, 10:17 AM   #37
NevStar
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Location: Raleigh, NC
Quote:
Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
You still cannot top Erik Flamebeard of the Neither Here Nor There, even WITH your gods!


Incidentally, that name has officially been stolen by me for my Blood Bowl dwarves team.
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Old 04-09-2003, 10:21 AM   #38
revrew
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
Quote:
Originally posted by tucker342
WR Revrew 32

Can I change the name of my team to the Birmingham Gods? If not that's okay


I'm not sure how I feel about being a "God". Perhaps a Greek? A Titan? A Mythical Monster? OR, how 'bout an "Olympian"? Ooh, I like that.

But if you want "Gods", I suppose that's alright. Let me know your final decision. I like Olympian (hint, hint).

****
As for all y'all. Without bench players yet, it's pretty hard to go for any trades. And especially before you know exactly how your team is going to perform. Any objections to getting the season rolling ASAP??
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Old 04-09-2003, 10:21 AM   #39
Coffee Warlord
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Location: Colorado Springs
*laughs*

He will serve you well.
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Old 04-09-2003, 10:39 AM   #40
Marmel
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Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Manchester, CT
K (21) Val Kilmer
QB (25) James Earl Jones
WR (21) Mel Gibson
WR (30) Joe Pesci
OT (24) Rob Lowe
OT (21) Tom Cruise
OG (23) Harrison Ford
OG (28) The Rock
RB (26) Adam Sandler
FB (28) Jet Li

DT (34) Ed Norton
DT (26) Tom Hanks
MLG (21) Brad Pitt
OLB (21) Nick Cage
DE (25) Robert DeNiro
DE (24) Vin Deisel
S (23) Ray Liotta
CB (30) Paul Sorvino
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Old 04-09-2003, 10:42 AM   #41
Coffee Warlord
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Well, I asked Erik Flamebeard of the Neither Here Nor There, and he said...

Let's get this season rolling!

There you have it. Erik Flamebeard of the Neither Here Nor There says game on.

Just to make sure, I asked Kosh what he thought. His words...

The truth points to itself.

Okay, I don't know what the hell that means, but I'm hoping it means game on.
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Old 04-09-2003, 11:41 AM   #42
sachmo71
The boy who cried Trout
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: TX
San Antonio Margaritas


Kicker- Eater of Sandwiches
QB- Handoff King
WR-Streak
WR-Jet
OT-Lard Ass
OT-Not Quite As Chunky
OG-Block
OG-Da Man
RB-Ron Dayne
FB-Metalhead

DT-Spare
DT-Sack U
DE-All Pro
DE-Bookend
MLB-Ray Lewis
OLB-Quick n' Mean
S-Stumble
CB-Deflector

GO MARGARITAS!!!!
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Old 04-09-2003, 12:46 PM   #43
The Afoci
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Moorhead
These are your Omaha Fighting Crawfish

K (25) BoB
QB (27) Killer
WR (21) The Handless wonder
WR (33) Shane
OT (23) Beck
OT (28) Rick
OG (29) Eric
OG (34) Matt
RB (21) A Blocker
FB (28) Girl

DT (24) The Defense
DT (22) Waste of a Jersey
MLB (33) Still Alive?
OLB (27) Chris
DE (25) Don
DE (31) Mark
S (24) Burned Deep
CB (31) Burned Deeper
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Last edited by The Afoci : 04-09-2003 at 02:31 PM.
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Old 04-09-2003, 01:19 PM   #44
revrew
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
Afoci, I LOVE your secondary! Deep and Deeper. LOL!
BTW, you renamed your kicker "BoB", but since you've now named your OT that, perhaps "Can't remember what I renamed him" sounds good.

And sachmo, "Lard Ass" is pushing the envelope a bit here, but I'll arbitrarily decide not to stomp on your parade. "Lard Ass" it is.

Allow me some time to print out the named rosters***, and we'll be set to go soon!

***We don't have any names from digamma for the Rednecks yet. Submitting names is not a requirement, however, so unless I hear from digamma about it, the Rednecks will be named Bubba, JohnBoy, Larry, Darryl, and My Other Brother Darryl.
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Old 04-09-2003, 01:55 PM   #45
sachmo71
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Location: TX
Sorry about the dirty words, rev! :o
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Old 04-09-2003, 02:12 PM   #46
Marmel
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Location: Manchester, CT
He was talking about a fat mule.
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Cincinnati basketball writer P. Daugherty, "Connor Barwin playing several minutes against Syracuse is like kids with slingshots taking down Caesar's legions."

Last edited by Marmel : 04-09-2003 at 02:12 PM.
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Old 04-09-2003, 02:29 PM   #47
digamma
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: On Lake Harriet
Here are the Knoxville Rednecks!
Apparently, most of them are related...


K (22) Peyton Manning--will he continue to choke in big games?
QB (21) Heath Schuler
WR (26) Jim Bob Jackson
WR (21) Jackson Jackson
OT (25) Guvna Jeffrey Jackson
OT (26) Thomas Jefferson Jackson
OG (21) Fort Sumter Jackson
OG (24) Lee Davis Jackson
RB (31) Tommy "Action" Jackson
FB (33) Samuel "The South will Rise Again" Jackson

DT 21 Stonewall Jackson
DT 33 Uncle Jesse Jackson
MLB 25 Tucker Jackson
OLB 31 Bubba Jackson
DE 29 Cletus Jackson
DE 32 Robert E. Jackson
S 24 Johnny "Nascar" Jackson
CB 27 Billy Ray Jackson

Last edited by digamma : 04-09-2003 at 06:11 PM.
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Old 04-09-2003, 06:06 PM   #48
tucker342
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Iowa City, IA
Quote:
Originally posted by revrew
I like Olympian (hint, hint).


That works for me.

Lets get this season started!!!
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Old 04-12-2003, 11:33 AM   #49
MylesKnight
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Neptune Beach, Florida
I am here representing a group of Central Florida Businessmen interested in discussing the possibility a ZFL Expansion Franchise for the city of Orlando, Florida. This group has become aware of the lack of a franchise in this area of the country with Birmingham and Knoxville, Tennessee being the closest current ZFL cities.

We would like to begin talks with the League and possibly begin the process of putting a ZFL Franchise Application together.

Thank You for your time.. We hope to hear from you soon..


MK - Executive Director, Orlando 4 ZFL Commission
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Old 04-12-2003, 12:18 PM   #50
revrew
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
MK,

Off the record, expansion looks like a reasonable possibility in the future, but we're stretched a bit thin right now. The first season is only 1/3 the way through. We'll need a draft or two before the rosters can be full enough to handle expansion. After the first draft, then second season, expansion might be possible prior to our second draft.

Thank you for your interest. Follow the season thread to keep up on progress. You may even want to discuss matters with current owners, and perhaps drum up a second expansion team GM.

Unofficially,
revrew
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