Odd yet funny Co-Worker Stories

[Dr. Sak]

A guy named Henry pulls up in his car today at work. Parks in the parking lot.. Henry gets out of his car wearing a nice golf shirt…and no pants. His shirt comes down andto his waist but doesn't cover the fact that he is just wearing briefs. Henry then proceeds to walk back, open his trunk and get his pants out of the trunk. Puts his pants on and comes into work.

What person in their right mind thinks this is acceptable?

[panerd]

Keeps the pants from wrinkling on his way to work. He may have learned that trick from the Maestro.

[digamma]

I pick up pants from the dry cleaner on the way to work from time to time. I'll change from shorts into the pants in my parking garage. I have the decency to wear shorts over my drawers though. I also wear boxers instead of the tight whites.

[Dr. Sak]

If he changed them in the car, I wouldn't think it was odd at all. Or in an enclosed area like a parking garage. But in the open air where anyone with a window office could see...just a bit odd IMO.

[Honolulu_Blue]

An ex-colleague of mine recently left our firm and joined another firm in town. He's married and has two kids. Apparently, he started seeing his secretary (who was also my secretary for a time before she went to work for another attorney at our firm) on the side. In fact, last year, he took his mistress (my old secretary) to firm event at his new firm, despite the fact that his new firm is pretty conservative and everyone knows that he's married (and that his wife is Japanese and his mistress is not). Near the end of the party, he then proceeds to ask a younger associate to drive him and his mistress to a hotel because they are too drunk to drive.

I've only heard this story second hand, but I've heard it from two independent sources and knowing the guy as well as I do, I totally believe it.

[EagleFan]

Psycho lady that I used to work with. Very hot but very psycho (very sexy though). I think she may be bipolar to be honest.

Anyway...

During her going away party. She shows up late (no biggie there) but then procedes to cuss people out who are wishing her well. She just starts going nuts on people (many are people that she had never had dealing with at work so it's not like it was pent up steam). She then storms out of the place and a little later someone comes in and says that she is laying on the sidewalk and won't talk to anyone. She then takes off and is spotted back at the office UNDER her desk in the fetal position.

Quite sad as I was friends with her for a while (to be honest she almost broke up my marriage at one point) before I started to see the other side of her. There was one side of her that was one of the greatest people that you could know but the other side was dark and twisted. Unfortunately it started to seem like he bad side was really her and she was just acting when showing the good side.

[Khorium]

Every office I've ever worked at has had the toothbrush guy.

You know the one I'm talking about. You'll be sitting in the stall, and some dude will walk in and start brushing his teeth for like 10 minutes. After the first five, you lose all desire to keep protocol, and start dropping the kids off at the pool.

This doesn't seem to phase toothbrush guy, who continues powerscrubbing his gums while you're stinking up the room.

The hygienic paradox of this phenomena baffles me. How can one be so obsessed with keeping his teeth clean yet do so in a filthy, stinking public bathroom? Perhaps someone with this particular disorder, or a trained psychiatrist, can explain this to me.

[kcchief19]

Originally Posted by Khorium

After the first five, you lose all desire to keep protocol, and start dropping the kids off at the pool.

Great euphemism.

[kcchief19]

For a long time our receptionist position was like Murphy Brown's receptionist. We kept rotating crazy whack jobs through the position left and right. When I first started we had this middle age burnout woman who would snap at a moment's notice and hang up on customers if she didn't like their attitude. When we let her go, she drove past the front of the building honking her horn and flipping us all the bird.

Let's see ... we then had a woman who talked to an imaginary bird in her jacket pocket. Then one day we learned that she had started bringing in an actual bird in her pocket to talk to. We had another woman who did everything possible to not answer the phone. If the receptionist wasn't at her desk, anybody could pick up the extension from their phone. She would only answer if she was actually seated at the desk. If the phone rang and she was standing a foot away, she'd yell "Phone's ringing!" and wait for one of us to answer it. We had a couple that just quit with no warning, I think one moved to Alaska to find herself and work as a cook on a mining team (not kidding). My favorite was a guy who had been in the military for 20 years prior to joining us and stood at attention everytime somebody walked by. I finally stopped going to get my mail because everytime I went into the office he stood up and wouldn't relax. Poor guy.

[Logan]

Originally Posted by kcchief19

For a long time our receptionist position was like Murphy Brown's receptionist.

Steven Snell?!

[Dr. Sak]

Originally Posted by Khorium

Every office I've ever worked at has had the toothbrush guy.

You know the one I'm talking about. You'll be sitting in the stall, and some dude will walk in and start brushing his teeth for like 10 minutes. After the first five, you lose all desire to keep protocol, and start dropping the kids off at the pool.

This doesn't seem to phase toothbrush guy, who continues powerscrubbing his gums while you're stinking up the room.

The hygienic paradox of this phenomena baffles me. How can one be so obsessed with keeping his teeth clean yet do so in a filthy, stinking public bathroom? Perhaps someone with this particular disorder, or a trained psychiatrist, can explain this to me.

I have a whole group of those and they like to rinse the toothpaste out of their mouth by sucking on the faucet. NASTY!

[jaygr]

Originally Posted by Khorium

Every office I've ever worked at has had the toothbrush guy.

You know the one I'm talking about. You'll be sitting in the stall, and some dude will walk in and start brushing his teeth for like 10 minutes. After the first five, you lose all desire to keep protocol, and start dropping the kids off at the pool.

This doesn't seem to phase toothbrush guy, who continues powerscrubbing his gums while you're stinking up the room.

The hygienic paradox of this phenomena baffles me. How can one be so obsessed with keeping his teeth clean yet do so in a filthy, stinking public bathroom? Perhaps someone with this particular disorder, or a trained psychiatrist, can explain this to me.

The tooth brush guy at my office always craps in the stall before he brushes- and he takes his toothbrush and cup in there with him. I know this because he places the cup with the toothbrush in it on the floor in front of his feet. Like you said, it just doesn't make sense. You are hygienic enough that you feel the need to brush your teeth at work, but you also take that toothbrush into the ground zero of the bathroom germs and put it on the floor in there.

[AgustusM]

I don't understand how these people are even getting these jobs when there are 1000 resumes for every opening. Seems like in the exhaustive process that is today's job market a red flag might come up along the hiring process.

[lighthousekeeper]

Originally Posted by jaygr

The tooth brush guy at my office always craps in the stall before he brushes- and he takes his toothbrush and cup in there with him. I know this because he places the cup with the toothbrush in it on the floor in front of his feet. Like you said, it just doesn't make sense. You are hygienic enough that you feel the need to brush your teeth at work, but you also take that toothbrush into the ground zero of the bathroom germs and put it on the floor in there.

makes sense to me.

it's not like simply walking into a bathroom is the equivalent of diving into a pile of shit.

[MacroGuru]

I work in a workshop sales environment and most of the guys drink energy drinks like they are going out of style, I feel our company keeps 5 hour energy in business.

We have one guy that is a conspiracy nut, everyone is out to get him, the government is out to get you. He consults with members of the Secret Societies constantly in his consultations and they all are recruiting him for something new...I could go on and on by him, He is an OCD Sales guy but makes us a ton of money when he is on, the problem is...someone has messed with his head a lot lately and has been off his game.

[johnnyshaka]

My first "real" job was for the Federal Gov't when I was in my early 20's. I worked in a dept. where I was one of four guys while the rest of the dept. was middle aged women...primarily very conservative women at that. At our Christmas party, a pot luck lunch followed by goofy gift exchange game, my supervisor, we'll call him "funny guy", arranges for his gift to go to another supervisor, we'll call her "not-so-funny girl". Well, she opens the gift and it's a huge cucumber, a jar of Vaseline, and a PlayGirl magazine. Are you f'ing kidding me?!?!?! I was dying to laugh out loud but I wasn't going to blink until I saw her reaction and luckily she reacted well so the few of us who comprehended what had just happened (yeah, just the 4 guys) are rolling around on the floor laughing our asses off.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by lighthousekeeper

makes sense to me.

it's not like simply walking into a bathroom is the equivalent of diving into a pile of shit.

pretty much

[Julio Riddols]

We have a co-worker here with the nickname "Skeezy".

[stevew]

Not so much a co-worker, but close enough.

The other day I roll up to the nurses station to drop off my medicine, and pick up the prescription slips. I hear the one nurse say, "My husbands friend says he wants to come over and tag team me. What does this mean?"

I look at the other nurse(who I'm cool with) and we give each other the surreal "you gotta be shitting me" look. The naive nurse, still not knowing what it means to be tag teamed, repeats it again. Only this time louder.

Trust me, nobody would want to tag team this chick, so it was even funnier.

[DaddyTorgo]

lol

[Mustang]

We had one guy that used to burp in the office. Not little excuse me burps that would happen once or twice a day, we are talking full out belches that people 5 cubicle rows down were hearing. I had the unfortunate pleasure of being seated next to him so, at four or five times an hour, he would belch.

I talked to management and others talked to management, but nothing was done and Belchy McBelcher continued until one day I was on the phone with my wife, he belched and my wife asked "what was that?". I put my wife on hold and then laid into him where the conversation pretty started with 'What the fuck is your problem?' and went downhill from there.

To this day, 4 years later, I have not heard one belch out of him. I found out that management was waiting for someone to snap and confront him instead of them doing it. Guess that was me.

I did get a lot of thank yous after that day though.

[RomaGoth]

Originally Posted by stevew

Not so much a co-worker, but close enough.

The other day I roll up to the nurses station to drop off my medicine, and pick up the prescription slips. I hear the one nurse say, "My husbands friend says he wants to come over and tag team me. What does this mean?"

I look at the other nurse(who I'm cool with) and we give each other the surreal "you gotta be shitting me" look. The naive nurse, still not knowing what it means to be tag teamed, repeats it again. Only this time louder.

Trust me, nobody would want to tag team this chick, so it was even funnier.

This.

tag-team definition

tag·-team (tag′tēm′)

adjective
designating or having to do with a form of professional wrestling in which two-member teams compete, with teammates alternating in the ring

INFORMAL of or having to do with any activity in which participants work together alternately

Etymology: so named because a wrestler must tag, or touch, a teammate before replacing him or her in the ring: see tag ()

[stevew]

Well, as far as wrestling goes, she looked a lot like John Tenta(Earthquake, Avalanche, etc)

Might have just been a 2 on 1 match for the tag straps.

[RomaGoth]

Originally Posted by stevew

Well, as far as wrestling goes, she looked a lot like John Tenta(Earthquake, Avalanche, etc)

Might have just been a 2 on 1 match for the tag straps.

Sounds like a situation where the second guy refuses to enter the ring, eh? What about the other nurse? Pics plz thanks.

[Oilers9911]

Originally Posted by stevew

Well, as far as wrestling goes, she looked a lot like John Tenta(Earthquake, Avalanche, etc)

Might have just been a 2 on 1 match for the tag straps.

Count to 5!!! (King King Bundy reference)

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by Dr. Sak

A guy named Henry pulls up in his car today at work. Parks in the parking lot.. Henry gets out of his car wearing a nice golf shirt…and no pants. His shirt comes down andto his waist but doesn't cover the fact that he is just wearing briefs. Henry then proceeds to walk back, open his trunk and get his pants out of the trunk. Puts his pants on and comes into work.

What person in their right mind thinks this is acceptable?

Originally Posted by Dr. Sak

I have a whole group of those and they like to rinse the toothpaste out of their mouth by sucking on the faucet. NASTY!

I now understand your hate for Pittsburgh if that is what you work with.

I posted this is the old Stalls thread, but it's worth repeating.

The three (at one point four) buildings for my company, all the women's bathrooms have keycodes. None of the men's rooms do, except for the oldest building, since the bathrooms were not on the interior near the cubes/offices, but in the halls. So I guess to prevent random people from walking in off the street to use the bathroom, the mens rooms also had keycodes.

So one day, after lunch, I head to the bathroom. Punch in the code. Important thing here, when you are in the bathroom, you can hear the beeping of someone else punching in the code.

Just as the door closes behind me, one of the stall doors open...and this idiot, with his pants hiked up to about his knees, hunched over, comes shuffling out of the stall.

"There's no toilet paper in that one"

shuffle...shuffle...shuffle. Slams the door shut to the next stall.

WTF

[stevew]

Roma.

No pics of the cool other nurse. But if you were to do the Hit/pass/Marry lineup with two other random women she would be the hit/marry options more than the pass option.