"I'm Feeling Kinda Blue, Apu..."

Chief Rum · 05-06-2009, 01:25 AM

...could you please get me one of those beers with candy floating in it?"

"I'm sorry, sir, I do not think that product exists. You must have dreamed it."

"Oh...well, then, can I please get a six pack of Duff and a bag of Skittles?"

Danny · 05-06-2009, 02:32 AM

Karlifornia · 05-06-2009, 04:03 AM

If this becomes a thread for Simpsons quotes, I'm afraid I will not be able to refrain from quintuple dolaposting multiple times.

"There is no escape from the fortress of the Moles. Well, except that."

Peregrine · 05-06-2009, 05:28 AM

Bart and Lisa need to do rock paper scissors to decide something -

Lisa thinks "Poor predictable Bart, always chooses rock."

Bart thinks "Good old rock, nothin' beats that!" then chooses rock and of course, loses.

Nugget699 · 05-06-2009, 06:08 AM

DENTAL PLAN!

Lisa needs braces.

flounder · 05-06-2009, 06:39 AM

You know, a town with money is like a mule with a spinning wheel. Nobody knows how he got it, and danged if he knows how to use it!

Hehe. Mule.

Passacaglia · 05-06-2009, 07:42 AM

Skittlebrau - Front Office Football Central

gstelmack · 05-06-2009, 09:24 AM

D'oh!

A deer!

A female deer!

Ronnie Dobbs2 · 05-06-2009, 09:29 AM

WE'RE HERE!

WE'RE QUEER!

WE DON'T WANT ANY MORE BEARS!

MikeVic · 05-06-2009, 09:32 AM

"Coffee!"

"Beer?"

"Coffee!"

"Beer?"

"C-o-"

"B-e-"

Kodos · 05-06-2009, 09:56 AM

I regret nothing!

Neuqua · 05-06-2009, 11:18 AM

Homer - "Hi, my name is Mr. Burns, and I believe you have some mail for me"
Postal Worker - "Ok Mr. Burns, what is your first name?"
Homer - "..I.. don't.. know..."

Cuckoo · 05-06-2009, 01:07 PM

"Aww... maybe a hug will cork her cry hole."

RendeR · 05-06-2009, 01:09 PM

This thread is SO 20 years ago.

Autumn · 05-06-2009, 01:12 PM

Homer to Bart:
"We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those "Police Academy" movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing - did you?"

molson · 05-06-2009, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RendeR

This thread is SO 20 years ago.

I don't think there's been a quote from this decade yet in this thread.

I still watch. It's not as consistent as it was in it's prime, but there's still the occasional great episode. It's definitely rebounded the last few seasons.

Autumn · 05-06-2009, 02:00 PM

It's been about 10 years since I had time, or the TV reception, to watch the Simpsons, so I know I'm guilty of that.

sabotai · 05-06-2009, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RendeR

This thread is SO 20 years ago.

What episode is that from?

Passacaglia · 05-06-2009, 02:07 PM

"D'oh!"

CraigSca · 05-06-2009, 03:36 PM

Love note from Homer that Marge keeps in her purse:

"Maybe it's the beer talking Marge, but you got a butt that won't quit.
They got these big, soft, chewy pretzels here.....bdughdsmdsd....5 dollars?! Get outta here!"

Peregrine · 05-06-2009, 04:16 PM

Homer's work rules to live by:

If something goes wrong at work, blame the guy who doesn't speak English.

molson · 05-06-2009, 04:29 PM

"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city,
keeping its speed over fifty. And if its speed dropped, the bus
would explode! I think it was called... "The bus that couldn't slow
down."

........

"It's like Speed 2, but with a bus instead of a boat!"

molson · 05-06-2009, 04:35 PM

Here's a more recent one:

Ricky Gervais Character: Now, Homer, would you care to give your report on CSI: Miami?

Homer: Uh, okay. (Clears throat) There's this guy that got killed; I think it was in Miami, so CSI Miami investigatedededed; then a family said how much they love the Olive Garden; then I fell asleep. When I woke up, Letterman was talking to Alias...

tarcone · 05-06-2009, 09:26 PM

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Love this one.

sterlingice · 05-06-2009, 11:07 PM

That's definitely one of my favorites

SI

RainMaker · 05-07-2009, 12:29 AM

"Everything's coming up Milhouse!"

Glengoyne · 05-07-2009, 01:30 AM

"MonoRail"

Nugget699 · 05-07-2009, 02:04 AM

THRILLHOUSE!

Karlifornia · 05-07-2009, 02:05 AM

AHAHHAHA! The dud looks just like you, poindexter!

Poli · 05-07-2009, 06:02 AM

Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But let's just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

Router Help · 05-07-2009, 09:15 AM

"You'll Have to speak Up, I'm Wearing a Towel."

MikeVic · 05-07-2009, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karlifornia

AHAHHAHA! The dud looks just like you, poindexter!

That entire episode is probably my favourite one ever. Everything was hitting in that episode for me.

"Your mom is so cool. Mine would've been in here with TANG and rice krispy squares by now."

(Marge shown in the background doing a super fast 180 turn, holding TANG and rice krispy squares).

remper · 05-07-2009, 10:16 AM

"How was jerk practice boy? Did they teach you to sing to trees and make crappy furniture out of useless logs?"

*chair Homer is sitting in collapses*

"Doh! Stupid poetic justice!"

Ronnie Dobbs2 · 05-07-2009, 10:37 AM

Gotta nuke something.

Chief Rum · 05-07-2009, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeVic

That entire episode is probably my favourite one ever. Everything was hitting in that episode for me.

"Your mom is so cool. Mine would've been in here with TANG and rice krispy squares by now."

(Marge shown in the background doing a super fast 180 turn, holding TANG and rice krispy squares).

That is a great episode. By and large, "Lisa" episodes suck, but I have always thought this one was probably the exception to the rule.

Millhouse's signature in Lisa's yearbook: "Hi Lisa, See you in the car! Millhouse"

"Celebrate your country's history by blowing up a small part of it!"

"Hey, look, Bart! It's Lisa! And she looks like Blossom!"

Ronnie Dobbs2 · 05-07-2009, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

By and large, "Lisa" episodes suck, but I have always thought this one was probably the exception to the rule.

Lisa the Vegetarian is definitely top 5 material for me.

"Go back to Russia!"

"The extra B is for BYOBB"

"No, I'd still rather not."

Troy: Come on Jimmy, let's take a peek at the killing floor.
Jimmy: Ohhh!
Troy: Don't let the name throw you Jimmy. It's not really a floor,
it's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice
through so it can be collected and exported.

MikeVic · 05-07-2009, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

That is a great episode. By and large, "Lisa" episodes suck, but I have always thought this one was probably the exception to the rule.

Millhouse's signature in Lisa's yearbook: "Hi Lisa, See you in the car! Millhouse"

"Celebrate your country's history by blowing up a small part of it!"

"Hey, look, Bart! It's Lisa! And she looks like Blossom!"

"Can I buy some porno mags, a box of condoms, fireworks, oh and some panty shields."

"I don't know what you have planned tonight homer, but count me out."

sterlingice · 05-07-2009, 02:34 PM

For some reason, the delivery of the "Sweet merciful crap! My car!" line at the end of Summer of 4 ft 2 always gets me.

SI

MikeVic · 05-07-2009, 02:46 PM

I also love Homer's mannerisms when Flanders is talking to him at the beginning. He's rolling his eyes, motioning with his hand to speed up the conversation, etc.

And the ice tray with individual "fill me" sticky notes that even Marge finds over the top. And Rod/Todd's piggy bank with a "please don't steal from me" sticky note. Haha, just a high class episode.

hukarez · 05-07-2009, 08:00 PM

"Krebapple? Ohhh... I've been calling her Krandel! I've been making an idiot out of myself!"

cthomer5000 · 05-07-2009, 08:40 PM

Homer: Okay, so this should be enough money to get me up in the air, have a frank talk with Marge, then maybe eat a deviled egg.

Pilot: Well, anything for a fellow Marine.

Homer: Yeah, Semper fudge.

Pilot: Uh, did you just say "Semper fudge"?

Homer: No, I said the right thing.

Chubby · 05-07-2009, 09:00 PM

They're the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Schmidty · 05-07-2009, 10:36 PM

I used to love The Simpsons, but although a lot of these quotes bring some nostalgia with them, none of them really seem that funny anymore. Don't know why.

Qrusher14242 · 05-07-2009, 11:07 PM

Me fail english? thats unpossible!

kingnebwsu · 05-07-2009, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sterlingice

For some reason, the delivery of the "Sweet merciful crap! My car!" line at the end of Summer of 4 ft 2 always gets me.

SI

"Sweet merciful crap!" has made it into my regular vocabulary since this episode was on. I think it was like 13 years ago...wow. Good times

"This game is great and all I've done is enter my name...Thrillhouse!"

TV shows his name entered on-screen as "Thrillho"

EagleFan · 05-07-2009, 11:51 PM

"I'll take one of those porno magazines... large box of condoms... a bottle of Old Harper... a couple of those panty shields... and some illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas. Eh, make it two."

and of course Marge's later response...

"I don't know what you've got planned for tonight but count me out."

Chief Rum · 05-08-2009, 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sterlingice

For some reason, the delivery of the "Sweet merciful crap! My car!" line at the end of Summer of 4 ft 2 always gets me.

SI

No, that doesn't even complete that one great moment, SI (and you're right, that's a great delivery). It must be completed by the instant shot of the car driving in a cloud of seagulls, with a seagull cry to punctuate it.

Haha, I did think about that but wasn't sure how to put it in "quote" form. Good pull.

Chief Rum · 05-08-2009, 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ronnie Dobbs2

Lisa the Vegetarian is definitely top 5 material for me.

"Go back to Russia!"

"The extra B is for BYOBB"

"No, I'd still rather not."

Troy: Come on Jimmy, let's take a peek at the killing floor.
Jimmy: Ohhh!
Troy: Don't let the name throw you Jimmy. It's not really a floor,
it's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice
through so it can be collected and exported.

You're right, this is a fantastic Lisa episode, too. There have been some winners. The problem is, it's hard to get The Jazzman out of your system (either one, heh).

Chief Rum · 05-08-2009, 01:23 AM

Not one of the better episodes tonight locally on the late night re-run, but still has one of the better lines:

Bart: "Why are we getting all dressed up, Mom? Are we going to Black Angus?"
Marge: "Well, you could say we're going to the BEST steakhouse in the WHOLE universe!"
Bart: "So...we're NOT going to Black Angus."

sterlingice · 05-08-2009, 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Not one of the better episodes tonight locally on the late night re-run, but still has one of the better lines:

Bart: "Why are we getting all dressed up, Mom? Are we going to Black Angus?"
Marge: "Well, you could say we're going to the BEST steakhouse in the WHOLE universe!"
Bart: "So...we're NOT going to Black Angus."

There aren't too many huge laugh out loud moments but there are quite a few worthy of a snicker: Larry King reading the geneologies, Homer's exchange with Ned about a BBQ ending with a satisfied "The joke's on him, I'll be dead by then", Homer's rendition of, ahem, "When the saints go over there", etc

I haven't watched an episode on tv in a couple of years at this point. It's so hit and miss and most stations, even in syndication, are playing the newer crap. But I do have trusty seasons 1-8 on DVD so it's all good.

SI

05-06-2009, 04:03 AM	#3
Karlifornia Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: San Jose, CA	If this becomes a thread for Simpsons quotes, I'm afraid I will not be able to refrain from quintuple dolaposting multiple times. "There is no escape from the fortress of the Moles. Well, except that." __________________ Look into the mind of a crazy man (NSFW) http://www.whitepowerupdate.wordpress.com

05-06-2009, 09:24 AM	#8
gstelmack Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Cary, NC	D'oh! A deer! A female deer! __________________ -- Greg -- Author of various FOF utilities

05-06-2009, 09:29 AM	#9
Ronnie Dobbs2 Pro Rookie Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Bahston Mass	WE'RE HERE! WE'RE QUEER! WE DON'T WANT ANY MORE BEARS! __________________ There's no I in Teamocil, at least not where you'd think

05-06-2009, 09:56 AM	#11
Kodos Resident Alien Join Date: Jun 2001	I regret nothing! __________________ Author of The Bill Gates Challenge, as well as other groundbreaking dynasties.

05-06-2009, 11:18 AM	#12
Neuqua Pro Rookie Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Chicago, Ill	Homer - "Hi, my name is Mr. Burns, and I believe you have some mail for me" Postal Worker - "Ok Mr. Burns, what is your first name?" Homer - "..I.. don't.. know..." __________________ Our Deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?

05-06-2009, 02:32 AM	#2
Danny Head Coach Join Date: Jul 2001	HAHA

05-06-2009, 05:28 AM	#4
Peregrine Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Cary, NC	Bart and Lisa need to do rock paper scissors to decide something - Lisa thinks "Poor predictable Bart, always chooses rock." Bart thinks "Good old rock, nothin' beats that!" then chooses rock and of course, loses.

05-06-2009, 06:08 AM	#5
Nugget699 H.S. Freshman Team Join Date: Nov 2006	DENTAL PLAN! Lisa needs braces.

05-06-2009, 06:39 AM	#6
flounder High School Varsity Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Lynchburg, VA	You know, a town with money is like a mule with a spinning wheel. Nobody knows how he got it, and danged if he knows how to use it! Hehe. Mule.

05-06-2009, 07:42 AM	#7
Passacaglia Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Big Ten Country	Skittlebrau - Front Office Football Central

05-06-2009, 09:32 AM	#10
MikeVic Head Coach Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hometown of Canada	"Coffee!" "Beer?" "Coffee!" "Beer?" "C-o-" "B-e-"

05-06-2009, 01:07 PM	#13
Cuckoo College Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Edmond, OK	"Aww... maybe a hug will cork her cry hole." __________________ Commissioner - North American Football League Dallas Cowboys GM

05-06-2009, 01:09 PM	#14
RendeR Coordinator Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Buffalo, NY	This thread is SO 20 years ago. __________________ http://wotlabs.net/s...8/signature.png http://wotlabs.net/sig_dark/na/banichi18/signature.png

05-06-2009, 01:12 PM	#15
Autumn Head Coach Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Bath, ME	Homer to Bart: "We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those "Police Academy" movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing - did you?"

05-06-2009, 02:00 PM	#17
Autumn Head Coach Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Bath, ME	It's been about 10 years since I had time, or the TV reception, to watch the Simpsons, so I know I'm guilty of that.

05-06-2009, 02:07 PM	#19
Passacaglia Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Big Ten Country	"D'oh!"

05-06-2009, 03:36 PM	#20
CraigSca Pro Starter Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Not Delaware - hurray!	Love note from Homer that Marge keeps in her purse: "Maybe it's the beer talking Marge, but you got a butt that won't quit. They got these big, soft, chewy pretzels here.....bdughdsmdsd....5 dollars?! Get outta here!" __________________ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! She loves you, yeah! how do you know? how do you know? Last edited by CraigSca : 05-06-2009 at 03:43 PM.

05-06-2009, 04:16 PM	#21
Peregrine Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Cary, NC	Homer's work rules to live by: If something goes wrong at work, blame the guy who doesn't speak English.

05-06-2009, 04:29 PM	#22
molson General Manager Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Mountains	"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city, keeping its speed over fifty. And if its speed dropped, the bus would explode! I think it was called... "The bus that couldn't slow down." ........ "It's like Speed 2, but with a bus instead of a boat!" Last edited by molson : 05-06-2009 at 04:30 PM.

05-06-2009, 04:35 PM	#23
molson General Manager Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Mountains	Here's a more recent one: Ricky Gervais Character: Now, Homer, would you care to give your report on CSI: Miami? Homer: Uh, okay. (Clears throat) There's this guy that got killed; I think it was in Miami, so CSI Miami investigatedededed; then a family said how much they love the Olive Garden; then I fell asleep. When I woke up, Letterman was talking to Alias...

05-06-2009, 09:26 PM	#24
tarcone Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Pacific	Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No. Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal. Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal. Love this one.

05-06-2009, 11:07 PM	#25
sterlingice Hall Of Famer Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Back in Houston!	That's definitely one of my favorites SI __________________ Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"

05-07-2009, 12:29 AM	#26
RainMaker General Manager Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Chicago, IL	"Everything's coming up Milhouse!"

05-07-2009, 01:30 AM	#27
Glengoyne Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Fresno, CA	"MonoRail"

05-07-2009, 02:04 AM	#28
Nugget699 H.S. Freshman Team Join Date: Nov 2006	THRILLHOUSE!

05-07-2009, 02:05 AM	#29
Karlifornia Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: San Jose, CA	AHAHHAHA! The dud looks just like you, poindexter! __________________ Look into the mind of a crazy man (NSFW) http://www.whitepowerupdate.wordpress.com

05-07-2009, 06:02 AM	#30
Poli FOFC Survivor Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Wentzville, MO	Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But let's just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer. __________________ Cheer for a walk on quarterback! Ardent leads the Vols in the dynasty forum.

05-07-2009, 09:15 AM	#31
Router Help Registered User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Ferndale, MI now in Chicago, IL	"You'll Have to speak Up, I'm Wearing a Towel."

05-07-2009, 10:16 AM	#33
remper Mascot Join Date: Jan 2008	"How was jerk practice boy? Did they teach you to sing to trees and make crappy furniture out of useless logs?" chair Homer is sitting in collapses "Doh! Stupid poetic justice!"

05-07-2009, 10:37 AM	#34
Ronnie Dobbs2 Pro Rookie Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Bahston Mass	Gotta nuke something. __________________ There's no I in Teamocil, at least not where you'd think

05-07-2009, 02:34 PM	#38
sterlingice Hall Of Famer Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Back in Houston!	For some reason, the delivery of the "Sweet merciful crap! My car!" line at the end of Summer of 4 ft 2 always gets me. SI __________________ Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"

05-07-2009, 02:46 PM	#39
MikeVic Head Coach Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hometown of Canada	I also love Homer's mannerisms when Flanders is talking to him at the beginning. He's rolling his eyes, motioning with his hand to speed up the conversation, etc. And the ice tray with individual "fill me" sticky notes that even Marge finds over the top. And Rod/Todd's piggy bank with a "please don't steal from me" sticky note. Haha, just a high class episode.

05-07-2009, 08:00 PM	#40
hukarez College Starter Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Chula Vista, CA	"Krebapple? Ohhh... I've been calling her Krandel! I've been making an idiot out of myself!" __________________ ...what we have here is a man who looks like Tarzan, but fights like Jane! My VG collection \| Xbox 360 Gamertag: ManThol \| PS3 Network ID: hukarez Doce Pares International - San Diego Council Filipino Martial Arts Digest tweet tweet twitter Last edited by hukarez : 05-07-2009 at 08:01 PM.

05-07-2009, 09:00 PM	#42
Chubby Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Syracuse, NY	They're the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

05-07-2009, 10:36 PM	#43
Schmidty Coordinator Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Early, TX	I used to love The Simpsons, but although a lot of these quotes bring some nostalgia with them, none of them really seem that funny anymore. Don't know why. __________________ Just beat the devil out of it!!! - Bob Ross