Fuck you, Banker-man

[Fidatelo]

With interest rates at crazy lows, I felt behooven to inquire as to the possibility of performing an early renewal on my mortgage. The original mortgage was a 7 year closed term ammortized over 20 years, with accelerated payments. We have 28 months remaining, so just over 2 years.

With all this in mind, I email my friendly neighborhood banker guy and ask how I might go about early renewal. He initially responds saying my wife and I should come in and discuss it, and hey, while we're there, we could look at our portfolio too. A little 'salesy' for my taste, but hey, dudes gotta make a living.

Unfortunately, dude is apparently a douche. He sends an email the next day saying he's done the calculations, and the penalty would be over $15,000 and cost us money over the long run. But hey, we should still come in and look over our portfolio.

So I respond asking to see how he calculated the value.

He responds saying that, oops, the actual number would be about $5,500. Then he goes on to talk about whether we want a 'Blended Rate' and whatnot. Never shows me his math.

So now I'm pissed. I respond again with "What is the calc?". He finally relents and sends me the relevant sections regarding how to calculate the penalty (but still does not show me his math).

So now I get to doing the math, and guess what? Fucktard was wrong again.

The actual penalty amount based on my calculations? $2,400.

So let's see, he was initially off by oh... 13k?! And then the second time, after checking his math, he still was over 100% above the right value?

But hey, if I had just accepted that the penalty would be too high to take advantage of the super low mortgage rates, I could have still at least let him try to talk me into buying some of his high-fee mutual funds. What a nice guy!

[Bad-example]

You had me at "behooven".

[Tekneek]

Hey, times are tight for the banking industry. They have to try and bring in the bucks any way they can get them.

[Sun Tzu]

It's spelled "Beethoven"

[SportsDino]

Banking industry is stocked full of morons.

Maybe someday I'll create the 'Bank of No Bullshit'... it seems like banking is one of those things that you might be able to be competitive if you can get through all the entry hurdles.

Always check the math, especially when it comes to sums of money in the many thousands. I've seen so many flat out lies (to myself, or relatives).

[Noop]

The words "blow it out your ass" would have been enough when he couldn't give you what you wanted.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Time to talk to the boss of the friendly neighborhood banker guy, at least see how they feel about his level of incompetence. Theoretically it might not be the bank that was looking to screw you over, just this particular asshole.

And if he is the boss, well, time to find another friendly neighborhood bank.