Help me be a dink

Fidatelo · 04-13-2009, 10:34 AM

My brother just won our NHL pool for the first time in his life. In years past he has been known to pay the winner in humorous/dinkish ways. For example, one year he brought a sack of 2000 unrolled pennies, and another year he paid in Mexican Pesos. So it's payback time, and I'm trying to think of a nice evil way to harass him with my payment.

The only idea I have right now is to write 20 separate $1 cheques, and then mail them individually over a period of 4-6 weeks. Ideally I'd also mail them in such a way that he has to go to the post office to pick them up (I think this typically is required if you have to sign for something but aren't around when they come by). Unfortunately I'm guessing that the costs of this will be prohibitive, although I'm going to look into it.

So, assuming I can't afford to pull off the above, I'm wondering if any of the evil geniuses here can help me think of something else that might work. Any ideas?

chesapeake · 04-13-2009, 10:40 AM

Does it have to be in cash in some form? If not, you could get him a $20 gift certificate for a bikini wax.

Fidatelo · 04-13-2009, 10:43 AM

I think it needs to be something he can convert to cash, so gift certificates are probably out. The conversion can be as painful as possible, though. I wonder if I could place the money into a paypal-type account and make him somehow withdraw it from there?

Poli · 04-13-2009, 10:44 AM

I still have some Kenyan Shillings.

Dr. Sak · 04-13-2009, 10:45 AM

Send a (nasty) stripper to his house, with his payment in her panties and he has to dig to get it.

TCY Junkie · 04-13-2009, 10:59 AM

Hey, I talked to your girlfriend. You might need this for a second pregnancy test. If he isn't doing her, be ready to run.

Lorena · 04-13-2009, 11:00 AM

Staple the $$ on a piece of paper

Give him $20 worth of stamps

Ronnie Dobbs2 · 04-13-2009, 11:00 AM

Something embarrassing (maxipads, etc) with a receipt for him to return.

Lorena · 04-13-2009, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lorena

Staple the $$ on a piece of paper

Give him $20 worth of stamps

And by stapling, I mean staple all around the bills so it's hard for him to remove 'em.

Fidatelo · 04-13-2009, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lorena

And by stapling, I mean staple all around the bills so it's hard for him to remove 'em.

This has potential, I like this.

TCY Junkie · 04-13-2009, 11:05 AM

There needs to be more details. Then you will get something great, probably not from me though.

boberot · 04-13-2009, 11:07 AM

You could do the check thing, and in the "For:" or "Memo" section write something completely humiliating.

Lorena · 04-13-2009, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fidatelo

This has potential, I like this.

You can also tape a bunch of change on a piece of paper.

Fidatelo · 04-13-2009, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TCY Junkie

There needs to be more details. Then you will get something great, definitely not from me though.

Fixed

Mustang · 04-13-2009, 11:11 AM

Buy some peanut butter, remove said peanut butter from the jar. Add coins to peanut butter and repack.

That or get a candle, melt it down and add the coins and reform the candle with the coins in it.

cthomer5000 · 04-13-2009, 11:11 AM

convert the large ONE on the back of each bill to BONER via magic marker.

Fidatelo · 04-13-2009, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lorena

You can also tape a bunch of change on a piece of paper.

I think the act of taping the change might be more time consuming than tearing it off.

Comey · 04-13-2009, 11:13 AM

You could rip a $20 into half, mail him half of it and the first clue towards finding the other half.

Fidatelo · 04-13-2009, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mustang

Buy some peanut butter, remove said peanut butter from the jar. Add coins to peanut butter and repack.

That or get a candle, melt it down and add the coins and reform the candle with the coins in it.

Now this is creative. I really like the idea of forming something around the coins. Jello might be fun, he could see them all floating around in there!

Fidatelo · 04-13-2009, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cthomer5000

convert the large ONE on the back of each bill to BONER via magic marker.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Comey

You could rip a $20 into half, mail him half of it and the first clue towards finding the other half.

I'm not really sure I want to deface the money (illegal), and specifically in regards to the top suggestion, we don't have 1 dollar bills here so it doesn't work.

Comey · 04-13-2009, 11:15 AM

Bah, just saw you're in Canada. I'm not sure how they handle it, but in the US, if a dollar bill is ripped in half, it can be taped together...and if a merchant won't take it, you can go to a Federal Reserve Bank for an exchange.

cthomer5000 · 04-13-2009, 11:17 AM

wait, canada has the internet?

Fidatelo · 04-13-2009, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cthomer5000

wait, canada has the internet?

No, I have a friend in North Dakota that helped me run cable across the border and into my house.

DaddyTorgo · 04-13-2009, 11:19 AM

hahaha

DaddyTorgo · 04-13-2009, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fidatelo

No, I have a friend in North Dakota that helped me run cable across the border and into my house.

Comey · 04-13-2009, 11:22 AM

They just got Netscape and Prodigy. Bryan Adams and Jesus Jones paid for it.

The latter is a convert to Canadaism.

Mustang · 04-13-2009, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fidatelo

No, I have a friend in North Dakota that helped me run cable across the border and into my house.

wait, North Dakota has the internet?

cthomer5000 · 04-13-2009, 11:23 AM

LOL, good work.

I don't know that I have any other suggestions that haven't been covered.

Mustang · 04-13-2009, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fidatelo

Now this is creative. I really like the idea of forming something around the coins. Jello might be fun, he could see them all floating around in there!

Well, it is a hockey pool so, you could freeze the money in a big block of ice then. Although, you'll need to freeze a 1/2 a block, put the coins down and then finish the freeze so they are in the middle.

Fidatelo · 04-13-2009, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mustang

Well, it is a hockey pool so, you could freeze the money in a big block of ice then. Although, you'll need to freeze a 1/2 a block, put the coins down and then finish the freeze so they are in the middle.

I like the thematic tie-in, but logistically this is not as ideal as peanut butter, wax, or jello. Recovering the coins would be as simple as letting the block melt in a sink and then scooping them out.

I'm really getting on board with the peanut butter.

DaddyTorgo · 04-13-2009, 11:30 AM

send him a drawing of a spider that you value at $20?

Fidatelo · 04-13-2009, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mustang

wait, North Dakota has the internet?

Ya, but they try to keep it on the low down so that Obama doesn't take it away.

Fidatelo · 04-13-2009, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

send him a drawing of a spider that you value at $20?

lol

DaddyTorgo · 04-13-2009, 11:32 AM

peanut butter is good. melt it partially in a big can and then put the coins in and then let it thicken up again.

maybe you could use something like an empty water-jug or something of that size? and fill it with a ton of peanut butter and the coins. i'm thinking a real shitload of peanut butter.

lordscarlet · 04-13-2009, 11:33 AM

Put the block of peanut butter inside a block of ice?

CU Tiger · 04-13-2009, 11:37 AM

its been mentioned above, but for golfing or bet debts, I like to write a check and in the memo "For the Best Blowjob ever"

DaddyTorgo · 04-13-2009, 11:37 AM

i think you want the volume of the peanut butter to make attempts to manipulate it difficult, that's the best idea.

OR

bake brownies with laxatives inside them. put the coins inside the brownies and hopefully he'll be like "oh well i might as well eat the brownies and spit out the coins" and voila! this works best if it's only a couple brownies so he'd eat them all.

Dr. Sak · 04-13-2009, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CU Tiger

its been mentioned above, but for golfing or bet debts, I like to write a check and in the memo "For the Best Blowjob ever"

I always use either "Nude Gay Art Show" or "Midget Strippers".

spleen1015 · 04-13-2009, 11:49 AM

I like the idea of buying something embarrassing for $20 and giving him the receipt to return it for the cash.

DaddyTorgo · 04-13-2009, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spleen1015

I like the idea of buying something embarrassing for $20 and giving him the receipt to return it for the cash.

dildo?

Ksyrup · 04-13-2009, 11:53 AM

OK, first you need to either be married or living with a chick you're sharing expenses with, and then you need to either have an operation (one or both of you) or use protection and be REALLY careful when you have sex.

Fidatelo · 04-13-2009, 11:55 AM

There are two downsides to the "embarrassing item refund" gag:

1) Although it is convertible to cash, I'm not sure it would truly be considered payment.
2) In order to force him into being embarrassed returning the item, I'd have to purchase the thing, which would be equally embarrassing.

stevew · 04-13-2009, 12:00 PM

get 4 condoms
shove 5-1dollar coins into each one.
shoot in a small amount of whitish hand soap/lotion.
Tie end to seal.
mail.

Matthean · 04-13-2009, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boberot

You could do the check thing, and in the "For:" or "Memo" section write something completely humiliating.

"Thanks for the (insert sexual favor here)."

Gary Gorski · 04-13-2009, 12:16 PM

Get FOFC friends to go to local casinos and get a $1 chip, mail to you and then give them to him so he would have to go across the country cashing in the chips

TCY Junkie · 04-13-2009, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fidatelo

Fixed

Take a shit in a box and instead of playing in it, drop two rolls of quarters in there and give it to him.

Lorena · 04-13-2009, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TCY Junkie

Take a shit in a box and instead of playing in it, drop two rolls of quarters in there and give it to him.

Or make fake poop from chocolate and put the $$ in it.

Lorena · 04-13-2009, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lorena

Or make fake poop from chocolate and put the $$ in it.

fake throwup will probably work too

sterlingice · 04-13-2009, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boberot

You could do the check thing, and in the "For:" or "Memo" section write something completely humiliating.

I really like the check thing. It might be worth it to rent out a PO Box for a month or two just so he has to go get them.

SI

sterlingice · 04-13-2009, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Sak

I always use either "Nude Gay Art Show" or "Midget Strippers".

Why limit yourself? You can do 20 different once

SI

04-13-2009, 10:43 AM	#3
Fidatelo Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Winnipeg, MB	I think it needs to be something he can convert to cash, so gift certificates are probably out. The conversion can be as painful as possible, though. I wonder if I could place the money into a paypal-type account and make him somehow withdraw it from there? __________________ "Breakfast? Breakfast schmekfast, look at the score for God's sake. It's only the second period and I'm winning 12-2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, the Whale, they only beat Vancouver maybe once or twice in a lifetime."

04-13-2009, 10:44 AM	#4
Poli FOFC Survivor Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Wentzville, MO	I still have some Kenyan Shillings. __________________ Cheer for a walk on quarterback! Ardent leads the Vols in the dynasty forum.

04-13-2009, 10:59 AM	#6
TCY Junkie College Prospect Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: TX	Hey, I talked to your girlfriend. You might need this for a second pregnancy test. If he isn't doing her, be ready to run. __________________ I try to open things I probably have no chance of opening.

04-13-2009, 11:00 AM	#8
Ronnie Dobbs2 Pro Rookie Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Bahston Mass	Something embarrassing (maxipads, etc) with a receipt for him to return. __________________ There's no I in Teamocil, at least not where you'd think

04-13-2009, 11:05 AM	#11
TCY Junkie College Prospect Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: TX	There needs to be more details. Then you will get something great, probably not from me though. __________________ I try to open things I probably have no chance of opening.

04-13-2009, 10:40 AM	#2
chesapeake College Starter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Arlington, VA	Does it have to be in cash in some form? If not, you could get him a $20 gift certificate for a bikini wax.

04-13-2009, 10:45 AM	#5
Dr. Sak Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Stuck in Yinzerville, PA	Send a (nasty) stripper to his house, with his payment in her panties and he has to dig to get it.

04-13-2009, 11:00 AM	#7
Lorena Unregistered Join Date: May 2004	Staple the $$ on a piece of paper Give him $20 worth of stamps

04-13-2009, 11:07 AM	#12
boberot High School Varsity Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Western NY	You could do the check thing, and in the "For:" or "Memo" section write something completely humiliating.

04-13-2009, 11:11 AM	#15
Mustang Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Wisconsin	Buy some peanut butter, remove said peanut butter from the jar. Add coins to peanut butter and repack. That or get a candle, melt it down and add the coins and reform the candle with the coins in it. __________________ You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its...

04-13-2009, 11:13 AM	#18
Comey College Starter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: CT via PA via CA via PA	You could rip a $20 into half, mail him half of it and the first clue towards finding the other half. __________________

04-13-2009, 11:15 AM	#21
Comey College Starter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: CT via PA via CA via PA	Bah, just saw you're in Canada. I'm not sure how they handle it, but in the US, if a dollar bill is ripped in half, it can be taped together...and if a merchant won't take it, you can go to a Federal Reserve Bank for an exchange. __________________

04-13-2009, 11:19 AM	#24
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	hahaha

04-13-2009, 11:22 AM	#26
Comey College Starter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: CT via PA via CA via PA	They just got Netscape and Prodigy. Bryan Adams and Jesus Jones paid for it. The latter is a convert to Canadaism. __________________

04-13-2009, 11:30 AM	#31
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	send him a drawing of a spider that you value at $20?

04-13-2009, 11:32 AM	#34
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	peanut butter is good. melt it partially in a big can and then put the coins in and then let it thicken up again. maybe you could use something like an empty water-jug or something of that size? and fill it with a ton of peanut butter and the coins. i'm thinking a real shitload of peanut butter.

04-13-2009, 11:33 AM	#35
lordscarlet Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Washington, DC	Put the block of peanut butter inside a block of ice? __________________ Sixteen Colors ANSI/ASCII Art Archive "...the better half of the Moores..." -cthomer5000

04-13-2009, 11:37 AM	#36
CU Tiger Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Backwoods, SC	its been mentioned above, but for golfing or bet debts, I like to write a check and in the memo "For the Best Blowjob ever"

04-13-2009, 11:49 AM	#39
spleen1015 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003	I like the idea of buying something embarrassing for $20 and giving him the receipt to return it for the cash.

04-13-2009, 11:53 AM	#41
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	OK, first you need to either be married or living with a chick you're sharing expenses with, and then you need to either have an operation (one or both of you) or use protection and be REALLY careful when you have sex. __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

04-13-2009, 11:55 AM	#42
Fidatelo Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Winnipeg, MB	There are two downsides to the "embarrassing item refund" gag: 1) Although it is convertible to cash, I'm not sure it would truly be considered payment. 2) In order to force him into being embarrassed returning the item, I'd have to purchase the thing, which would be equally embarrassing. __________________ "Breakfast? Breakfast schmekfast, look at the score for God's sake. It's only the second period and I'm winning 12-2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, the Whale, they only beat Vancouver maybe once or twice in a lifetime."

04-13-2009, 12:00 PM	#43
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	get 4 condoms shove 5-1dollar coins into each one. shoot in a small amount of whitish hand soap/lotion. Tie end to seal. mail.

04-13-2009, 12:16 PM	#45
Gary Gorski Wolverine Studios Join Date: Oct 2003	Get FOFC friends to go to local casinos and get a $1 chip, mail to you and then give them to him so he would have to go across the country cashing in the chips __________________ Wolverine Studios http://www.wolverinestudios.com

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