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01-18-2008, 01:40 PM
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: At the corner of Beat Street and Electric Avenue
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Kodos' Face The Board Answers
Here it is, at last. Sorry for all the delays. They weren't intentional. Thanks for your patience.
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MIJB--A man with unquestionable taste. Quote:
I came with my brother Kang from the Planet Rigel VII on a mission of conquest. I do not have time to fill you in on all of the gory details, but if you are interested, you could take in the following article on Wikipedia. (hxxp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kang_%26_Kodos) Quote:
It's actually a choice that I've regretted to some degree for a long time. Kang is easier to pronounce, and sounds catchier to my ears. By a few thousand posts in, the name had Kodos had taken, so now I'm stuck with it, for better or worse. Quote:
A poster named ODogg at one of the Madden boards back around 2001 mentioned Front Office Football a few times. I had always wanted more depth in Madden's franchise mode, so it sounded like FOF 2001 would be just what the doctor ordered. I bought the game and found FOFC shortly thereafter. Quote:
The alien thing started with my anti-Cowboys dynasty, The Bill Gates Challenge. I had been a lurker at FOFC for a while, reading dynasties as by various folks like SkyDog, Quiksand and Wade Moore for a while, and eventually decided that I would like to write one. I knew that I couldn't stick with a straight dynasty very long due to my short attention span, so I came up with the twist of trying to drive the Cowboys out of Texas to make it different from anything else that was out there at the time. I wanted it to be more story-driven than the typical FOF dynasties that were out there. At the time, most dynasties chronicled the wins and losses of the featured team. I wanted mine to have a different hook. My character in the dynasty, Kodos, was hired by Bill Gates to destroy the Dallas Cowboys after Jerry Jones rebuffed his attempt to purchase America's Team. Since Kodos and Kang (of Simpsons fame) were known for their persistent attempts to destroy humanity, it seemed to me that Kodos was a natural fit for Mr. Gates's mission of destruction. Voila, the dynasty and my username were born. Quote:
My relationship with Kang could not be comprehended by your puny human minds. What I can tell you, however, is that one of our hobbies involves secretly swapping our sexual partners. We see it as being a lot like the old Folger's crystals scam from a couple decades back. We even tape the swaps, just as the corrupt officials at Folgers used to do! Quote:
Why would I try not to drool on myself? How else would I keep my skin moist and partially digested? Quote:
In 1970, I was born in Rochester, New York, where I lived until I was a junior in high school. It was there that I developed my extreme dislike for snow and cold weather. Rochester is a good town, but the climate is horrific there. Snow, snow, snow, damned snow. Quote:
I graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology from Indiana University in the spring of 1994. I minored in sociology. Alas, I wasn't interested in taking any graduate classes, so I've never really used my major since I graduated. I'm guessing there are a lot of philosophy major out there who can relate. Quote:
Yep. The funny thing is that I wasn't an Indiana fan very long before I went there. If I cared at all, I was rooting for Syracuse versus Indiana in 1987, because the Cuse is just an hour east of Rochester. Honestly, I wasn't even a basketball fan at the time, so I may not have cared at all. I certainly didn't watch the game. I first became interested in IU when I ran in a track meet that was held there. It was such a beautiful campus. When I returned during my senior year of high school, I fell in love with the campus. Good thing, too, or I might have ended up at Ohio State. **shudders** More likely, the alternative would have been Ohio University. Quote:
I'm an editor at a tax law publisher. In a nutshell, I update our state tax law reporters to reflect new tax legislation. And I do this without a working knowledge of tax law! Unfortunately, I'm not one of those lucky people who ever knew just what he wanted to do for a living, so I've bounced between a variety of positions in the publishing field. I'd like to do something different, but I've never had a good idea as to what that'd be. My dream job would be something creative like writing a comic strip in the vein of Calvin and Hobbes, or The Far Side. But of course, I have no drawing skills whatsoever, and no firm idea what the strip would even be about. Soooo, it's kindof a pipe dream. Quote:
Actually, I moved to Connecticut in the summer of 2006. I love Chicago (actually, the northwest suburbs of Chicago), but my wife's family lives out here in CT, and she wanted to be closer to them. As for the city itself, Chicago is my favorite city, but I don't like cities. Too many damn people on top of you, and no grass or trees. I have a theory that most people are put on the Earth to inconvenience me. Anyhow, every time I went into Chicago, bad things happened to me. Once, firecrackers were set off on my windshield. Another time, on the way to a bachelor party, the car I was riding in got a flat tire. Then the spare tire went flat when we hit a pothole. So we limped home after getting the tire patched, stopping at every gas station to refill the tire with air. Once, work took a bunch of us to a Cubs game on busses. The problem was, no bus ever came back to return us to the suburbs. So after sitting in the cold and watching the stupid Cubs win 1-0, I experienced an incredible journey of sorts just to get home. Cabs, busses, trains, oh my! Quote:
I met Sheri while I was a proofreader at Penny Press (the puzzle magazine) in Norwalk, CT. The fact that I ever ended up working there was improbable. I applied to the proofreading job as an afterthought after applying to another more substantial job (for which I utterly bombed at the interview -- I'm convinced that the rejection letter was sent before I left the building). But Penny Press liked me, and that was where I ended up getting hired. It's a bit of a convoluted story from there, but to backtrack a bit, after college, I lived at home in Dayton, Ohio, while I worked off a fairly impressive credit card debt that I stupidly ran up in college. After that was paid off, I moved to Norwalk to live with my best friend, John, from college. I started working at Penny Press shortly thereafter. In time, I began dating a girl named Amy that I met through John. At the same time, I became friends with Sheri at Penny Press. She was married, so she was just a work friend. We enjoyed each other's sarcastic humor. Anyhow, after dating for a while, Amy told me that she had decided to move back to her hometown, Boston. At the same time, John decided that he wanted to move to Chicago to be with his girlfriend who he'd met at Aetna. So I quickly found myself looking at a situation where my best friend and my girlfriend were both going away. I flirted with the idea of moving to Boston, but the relationship went downhill, so those thoughts went away. I decided to move to Chicago with John, figuring I didn't have much reason to stay in Connecticut. Meanwhile, Sheri and I had become closer friends. She was upset that I was moving away, but staying there when she was really my only remaining friend wasn't an option. Off John and I went to Chicago. Sheri's marriage had been an unhappy one from the start. She'd wanted to call things off beforehand, but her family kinda pushed her along into going ahead with it. Some time after I moved away, she filed for divorce. We started to visit eachother, and eventually, we started dating long distance. She was great, because she loved me for who I was, not for who she thought I could be. After a while, she decided to move to Chicago with the understanding that if we ever got married, we'd move back closer to her family in CT. Long story slightly shorter, we dated for about 5 years before getting married. We had our son, Noah, in March of 2005, and a year later, we moved back to Connecticut. Next August will be our 5th anniversary. Quote:
I don't really have great answers for this. In many ways, I've lived a charmed life. Truly bad things have rarely happened to me. My grandparents all lived until I was well into my twenties. I guess the worst day was the first time someone I was close to died. My friend Mike's mother found out that she had leukemia on Valentine's day one year. She went through chemo and all that misery, and fought the disease for over a year. She had a great, positive attitude. She went into remission. I really thought she was going to make it. The last time I saw her, she had gone home and was recovering. She was happy. I didn't see her family for a week, and then my friend called me to tell me she had died. I was stunned. I cried a lot at the wake (part of the downside of rarely facing real adversity is that you end up not developing good coping skills). Sadly, my friend's family ended up comforting me more than I comforted them. But at least they knew that I really cared, I suppose. As for the best day, I don't know. I could go with the usual suspects (wedding day, birth of son), but wedding days are stressful. And my son ended up in the ICU for a week due to breathing complications from being born a few weeks early. So that first day really sucked, in all honestly. After he was born, the medical team immediately whisked him away and started working on him. It was scary. He came out of it fine in the end, but I don't really remember it as a good day. I don't have a specific day in mind, but our honeymoon in Maui was awesome. Some day, I want to throw out all of my cold-weather clothes and move there for good. Quote:
I haven't met any. There have been some close calls. Once, SkyDog invited me to meet him at a Cubs game, but the scheduling didn't work out. Ardent wanted to come play NCAA football with me in Chicago, but it never happened. I was all set to have dinner with VPI97 here in CT, but his business trip got cancelled at the last minute. Honestly, I've always been a bit reluctant to meet folks from the internets. Part of it is probably a generalized lack of self-confidence on my part. I'm pretty introverted until I get comfortable with people, and even then, I'm not a big conversationalist. Usually, I'd rather compete against someone at something (anything!) than sit at a table and talk to them. Another part of it is probably a fear of meeting some internet psycho. There are definitely people that I would go ahead and meet if a good opportunity presented itself. I couldn't pass up an opportunity to meet Godzilla Blitz, or primelord, or VPI, or cthomer. But a group situation would probably be better than one-on-one. Quote:
I'll buy him a hat, or maybe give him one of my old ones. Although I think I was accidentally part of the reason he left. The whole Tournament of Rock thing kinda blew up in my face a bit with the anti-pollites getting into a tizzy. And then the backlash to the backlash. Quote:
Godzilla Blitz. I admire the tremendous creativity and writing skill that he showed in his dynasties. He's the man! Quote:
Nope. Quote:
My first favorite team was the Atlanta Falcons of the early eighties. I was a big fan of Steve Bartkowski, William Andrews, Billy "White Shoes" Johnson, Gerald Riggs, etc. Then Dan Marino came on the scene. I was a fan of offense, and what he was doing in 1984 held me in awe. The Dolphins became my favorite team. I am confident that I will never again have the same feeling that watching him lead the Dolphins gave me. It was such a thrill watching him tear apart the Bears on Monday night during their Super Bowl season. That's probably my favorite game ever. Good vs. Evil, with good kicking evil's bitchy little ass. Then the Dolphins ran off Shula for Jimmy Johnson. Then Wannstedt ran off Marino. I've been a man without a team ever since. It's like an old girlfriend that you can't go back to, but that you can't move on from either. The Colts have been the closest thing I've had to a favorite team since then. Peyton reminds me of the good old days with Dan flinging the balls around. But it's not really the same. Quote:
I'll admit that it is not at its peak right now, but it's still there. If they ever threatened to be a contender, the hatred would come back full force. Right now, the hatred is centered on the Patriots. Mostly because of Belicheck. And Rodney Harrison. And Bruschi. I like Tom Brady. It royally pisses me off that Wes Welker is a Patriot. He was my favorite Dolphin outside of Zach Thomas in the last couple years. I'll admit that I like Tony Romo. He seems like a good guy. That being said, I did really enjoy his fumbled snap in the playoffs. Quote:
Both. I admire him. But I hate him for the shit he's put my Lake Monsters through over the years. Quote:
Not even close. Jackie is my favorite fake football player in a landslide. I really did trade him away because I expected us to suck. I wanted him to have a chance at another championship somewhere else. I do like Bubba, but he doesn't really hold a special place in my heart. Quote:
He'll probably need another decade or so. Quote:
No idea. I've always thought they were good for sparking a conversation. After a while, they became part of my persona at FOFC. I don't poll people in real life. Quote:
No idea. The Hot or Not tourney was fun. The Tournament of Rock wasn't because it seemed to inadvertantly spark a lot of crap that the board could have done without. Quote:
For me? Def Leppard, baby! Realistically, I would have preferred to see Led Zeppelin or Queen win. I'm not a Beatles fan. Quote:
1. Your lack of basic hygiene 2. Your inability to get along with others who are different from you 3. Your ability to use a two by four with a nail in it as a deadly weapon 1. You're good at killing stuff 2. You're not afraid to eat eachother 3. You're tasty! Quote:
Why don't you stop over some time and we'll have you for dinner? Quote:
My skills are limited. I can do enough to subsist, but it's going to get very monotonous if I'm in charge. Lots of Campbell's soup, chicken casserole, and potatoes in various forms. Quote:
I love steak, seafood, and potatoes. I prefer the staff of The Outback to cook it. Mom is a great cook too. She know's that well done is overdone. Quote:
Haa-haa-haa-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Ah-haaaaa-haaa-ha! No. But your planet is doomed. Quote:
Abortions for some, tiny American flags for others! Quote:
Yes. That's why it hasn't come here. Quote:
No. James Earl Jones is the man. Quote:
The funny thing is, Darth being a pussy is what immediately came to mind after the previous question. Actually, Darth is just a spectacular failure. Everything he touches turns to shit. Two Death Stars got blown up and the Empire was lost during his watch. I just wish I could erase all memories of the prequels so Darth would still seem cool to me again. Quote:
These days? No. I used to be a big Stephen King fan, but then I got tired of him. I enjoy light stuff like Michael Crichton, John Irving, Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. I like to be entertained. I don't read stuff that has symbolism and that kind of crap in it. Basically, I am a literary bottom feeder, just as I am a musical bottomfeeder. Here I am now. Entertain me. Quote:
Maybe her posts are dirtier? Quote:
Nope. I am Kodos, Kang, John Travolta, Jerry Jones, an Co-D'ohs, but I am not RomaGoth. Quote:
I like Canadiens. Bryan Adams rocks! Michael J. Fox is awesome. Ted Nugent rocks! Quote:
No, I am not Pumpy Tudors, and I will not repair your food processor. Quote:
No. No, I'm not. I don't know anyone not wearing Patriotic underwear who is. Quote:
So if I say no, I am off the hook? I believe I have found one of your Earth loopholes! |
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01-18-2008, 01:57 PM
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#2 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Dayton, OH
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You lived in Dayton? I could've asked a bunch of questions off that. But that would be too much awesome for the board to take.
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My listening habits |
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01-18-2008, 02:02 PM
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#3 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Yep. We moved to Centerville in 1987. Graduated in '89, and then I came back for a while after college.
Usually, when you say you're from Centerville, you get a bad reaction. So I always point out that I wasn't from there.  |
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01-18-2008, 02:12 PM
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#4 |
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Bounty Hunter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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For some reason, I didn't expect you to be so open about yourself, Kodos. I appreciate it. Thanks for participating.
And also, thanks for staying the fuck away from my food processor.
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No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor. |
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01-18-2008, 02:24 PM
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#5 |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NYC
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I'm not exactly a big Simpsons fan, but I still never made the Kodos-alien connection. Poor job by me.
Good job by you. Thanks. |
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01-18-2008, 02:24 PM
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#6 | |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Quote:
I didn't either. I was actually kind of hesitant to do FTB, but I figured... what the heck. |
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01-18-2008, 02:25 PM
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#7 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Maassluis, Zuid-Holland, Netherlands
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Ugh, I totally forgot you moved to Connecticut... :o
Good read though.
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* 2005 Golden Scribe winner for best FOF Dynasty about IHOF's Maassluis Merchantmen * Former GM of GEFL's Houston Oilers and WOOF's Curacao Cocktail |
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01-18-2008, 02:40 PM
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#8 |
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Red-Headed Vixen
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Phoenix, AZ
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I don't know if I should be scared that you update tax law and don't know a thing about it....I am going to have to double check my research I just finished on Connecticut nexus.
Thanks for the entertaining answers Kodos. |
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01-18-2008, 02:42 PM
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#9 |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Parañaque, Philippines
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Fun read!
ALL HAIL KODOS!
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Come and see. |
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01-18-2008, 02:49 PM
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#10 | |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Quote:
I'm actually kinda viewed as the authority on it for our group. |
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01-18-2008, 03:39 PM
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#11 |
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Stadium Announcer
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Burke, VA
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Excellent FTB! And I agree with Pumpy, it's nice that you opened up a bit. It's almost like a Kodos: Behind the Spacesuit episode.
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I don't want the world. I just want your half. |
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01-18-2008, 04:57 PM
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#12 |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Ashburn, VA
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That was a fun read.
Remind me never to invite you over for dinner...   /tk
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GO TERPS! https://www.flickr.com/photos/terpkristin https://twitter.com/terpkristin |
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01-18-2008, 05:05 PM
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#13 |
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Dark Cloud
Join Date: Apr 2001
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As usual, really good stuff.
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Current Dynasty:The Zenith of Professional Basketball Careers (FBPB/FBCB) FBCB / FPB3 Mods |
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01-18-2008, 06:44 PM
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#14 |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Ashburn, VA
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Seems like as good a place as any to post this, considering I just saw it now...
 Edited to add from http://www.little-gamers.com/ (once it gets archived, I'll post the direct link to the strip). /tk
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GO TERPS! https://www.flickr.com/photos/terpkristin https://twitter.com/terpkristin Last edited by terpkristin : 01-18-2008 at 06:45 PM. |
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01-18-2008, 07:04 PM
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lolzcat
Join Date: May 2001
Location: williamsburg, va
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Quote:
Wow - I had no idea that my dynasties from long ago had absolutely any impact on anyone - that gives me a bit of a warm fuzzy, particularly to be mentioned in the same breath with the dynasties of those other guys!
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Text Sports Network - Bringing you statistical information for several FOF MP leagues in one convenient site Quote:
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01-18-2008, 07:36 PM
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#16 | |
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Unregistered
Join Date: May 2004
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Quote:
Ehh... did you just call me a pervert? |
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01-18-2008, 07:36 PM
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#17 |
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Unregistered
Join Date: May 2004
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cola,
thanks for the amusing answers Last edited by Lorena : 01-18-2008 at 07:37 PM. |
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01-18-2008, 08:12 PM
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#18 |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Hometown of Canada
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Great read. And welldone is perfect actually, not overdone.
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01-18-2008, 08:52 PM
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#19 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Nothing ruins a good huma__ .... steak like overcooking it.
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01-18-2008, 10:46 PM
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#20 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Chicagoland
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01-18-2008, 11:17 PM
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#21 |
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This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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PSA for Kodos:
DEF LEPPARD has set a March 18 tentative U.S. release date (one day earlier internationally) for its new album, entitled "Songs from the Sparkle Lounge". It will be the band's first LP since last year's "Yeah!", which was a collection of covers of songs by artists who had influenced the band. Their most recent studio album of original material was 2002's "X". The first single off the album is a song called "Nine Lives", which features a guest appearance by country star Tim McGraw.
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." |
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01-18-2008, 11:24 PM
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#22 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Looking forward to it! The "Sparkle Lounge" is a place they worked on songs backstage during the tour. Kindof a goofy name, but I'm excited.
They had me at "Hello, America". |
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01-24-2008, 01:36 PM
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#23 |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: At the corner of Beat Street and Electric Avenue
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Kodos, sorry for slacking on this....your next choice was just sent a PM.
__________________
"I'm ready to bury the hatchet, but don't fuck with me" - Schmidty "Box me once, shame on Skydog. Box me twice. Shame on me. Box me 3 times, just fucking ban my ass...." - stevew |
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