This is the thread where we write...

[Suburban Rhythm]

about unbelievable conversations you've had with co-workers. I hope this thread doesn't already exist.

I had quite a conversation at work today. 3:45, almost time to get out of there...and I see a guy from a different team walking down my row of cubes. He's the guy who doesn't know when he's being annoying and hangs around much too often. I really don't know him other than to see him from time to time in the halls. I was hoping when I spyed him heading up our row, he was looking for someone else. No such luck!

He says "Hey Suburban...can I ask you something?"
Um OK....

I knew he and his wife recently had their first child. The kid is about 2 1/2 months old now. I guess since my younger child is 10 months now (and he remembers this because I started in this division about 2 weeks before he was born) he thought I'd be a good source of knowledge.

He goes on to explain how is wife is starting to feel really tired again, bloated, sick, etc.

Then he drops the bomb "Yeah...two weeks ago was the first time we've had sex since the baby was born"

WHAT?

Then adds "And...we think ******* (wife's name) was ovulating at the time."

"Do you think she might be pregnant again already?"

I just said I really don't know what to say to him. Part of me wanted to be a jackass and say "my advice is next time...pull out!" but I really just wanted him to leave my desk.

What would possess someone to spill that to someone he barely talks to? And more importantly, what would possess a guy to use 'ovulating' in a conversation with another guy?

[Celeval]

Ya know, he probabaly asked someone else first, who said "Suburban just had a kid... ask him!".

You need to find that person. I'll leave what happens after that up to you.

[st.cronin]

I don't know if I can top that, but I have this conversation with my boss's wife at least once a week:

"Sean, is Jay there?"
"Nope."
"... Where is he????"
"How the hell am I supposed to know???"

[path12]

I thought we were having a private conversation.

[Karlifornia]

Me: Nice hair
Girl I work with: I did it to look more like Christina Aguilera. Everything I do is because of Christina Aguilera.

I couldn't make that up....

[twothree]

Originally Posted by st.cronin

I don't know if I can top that, but I have this conversation with my boss's wife at least once a week:

"Sean, is Jay there?"
"Nope."
"... Where is he????"
"How the hell am I supposed to know???"

Does he own a cell phone?

[st.cronin]

Originally Posted by twothree

Does he own a cell phone?

Yep.

[Neon_Chaos]

I have an officemate who always calls me at home to ask me out for drinks.

"Hey Neon, where are you?"

And I always end the call.

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by Karlifornia

Me: Nice hair
Girl I work with: I did it to look more like Christina Aguilera. Everything I do is because of Christina Aguilera.

I couldn't make that up....

pix pls kthx

[gottimd]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

He says "Hey Suburban...can I ask you something?"
Um OK....

It's not often people call me by my FOFC name so that would be odd to me if a co-worker said that to begin with.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by gottimd

It's not often people call me by my FOFC name so that would be odd to me if a co-worker said that to begin with.

I wish he actually would have...then I maybe could have completely ignored him like I didn't know who he was talking to.

To add to the story, he's that person in everyone's office who doesn't know when to leave. A girl in my group saw me trapped, so called me...hoping he'd leave me alone. No dice, he just waited. So after we hung up, she called me up to her desk to look at something...again, no luck, he just stood there and watched us. Wanting to get out of there Friday afternoon, I gave up hope and went back to my desk.

Knowing now what was waiting, I probably would have hung out until 4:30 to avoid it.

[Logan]

The structure of how people at my job get started: you're put onto a training team, typically with 4 or 5 other trainees, and you have two assistants, typically with 3-4 years of experience, and a leader, who can have as little as 5 but as many as 30 years on the job. You then work within your team for an 8 to 9 month period...very extensive and you learn a ton.

So we (the trainees) are 3 days into the job and have just met our assistants/leader for the first time. We all go out to dinner to get to know each other. Someone asks Assistant #1 if he has any kids. John then talks about his 2 year old boy for a few minutes. Finally, he says that he is adopted, his mother was addicted to crack, all this bad shit.

Now we're kinda stunned at his openness in telling us, basically complete strangers, but it's fine if he just feels comfortable talking about it. Okay, so for about 20 seconds everyone goes back to eating their food, almost perfectly silent.

"So John, are you and your wife going to tell your son he's adopted?" blurts out one of my fellow trainees.

That had to be the most uncomfortable moment of my life, and the expression on the kid's face, as he sees 8 sets of eyes staring at him in bewilderment, was unbelievable. John answered him with an "Uhhhh, we'll probably talk about it and figure out what's best."

The rest of the dinner was pretty silent. Afterwards, I pulled the guy aside and he actually asked me, "Was it wrong for me to ask him that?" I had to explain to him that the only questions that may have been less personal would be if he asked if his wife swallowed or shaved her box.

[st.cronin]

Originally Posted by Logan

I had to explain to him that the only questions that may have been less personal would be if he asked if his wife swallowed or shaved her box.

What were the answers to those questions?

[Logan]

I met the woman down the road. Don't have a guess on #1, but I'll bank that #2 was a big, fat hairy "No."

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by Logan

big, fat hairy "No."

Pun intended?

[SteveMax58]

Oh man...I could fill up a thread of my own with stupid co-worker comments/conversations. I'll pick a lighthearted, yet scary one.

A few years back I used to travel extensively for work as a field engineer implementing new systems & the like. It was very common to be grouped with various people for various reasons, so the "team" as it were, could vary from site to site.

So, another common thing was eating lunch as a group. We all decided to go to some local diner type of place. Since we are all on business, we always get seperate checks, so at the end of our otherwise uneventful meal, the waitress brings our check totals out, but says that since their "machine" is broken, she has to writeup our bills by hand, seperately, and we'll need to pay at the counter.

She begins handing out the bills & says, "Here you go, you're 'A'...here you are, you are 'B'...'C' is you...and you get 'D'...and last but not least, 'E'." Naturally, there were a few bad jokes made in regards to the letters everybody was getting as she passed these out when the 'last but not least' gentleman turns to one of the other team members and says,"Hey...I'm 'E' for ignorant!".......which led to a pretty fair outburst of laughter until the "other" gentleman said to the "E" gentleman(who were brothers as we found out later),"It's spelled with an 'I' you idiot."......which led to an uproar of gutbusting laughter.

I'm not sure I've ever laughed that hard in public.