AAARGH! (Rant about women)

[M GO BLUE!!!]

I was bitter & a little depressed the other day and was looking around various dating sites and message boards, finding nothing that jumped out at me. Then just for the hell of it I though I'd look at the difference between the women that are looking for men, and the women that are looking for women... What a difference! The w4w seemed much more to the point with a whole lot less BS. So just to see what kind of reaction it might get, I reposted an ad that I read and thought it sounded very similar to what I look for in a woman. I of course made a couple alterations, to tailor it toward me. I honestly thought that if I got any responses, they would be kinda funny... as I had posted once before a similar post that got a response saying "I agree with you 100% and fit your description of an ideal woman, but am too young. Good luck!"

So I did get one legitimate response (I had actually forgot that I posted it when I got the response.) She looks GOOD! Sounded cool too, so I responded to her. The back and forth was some of the best internet conversation I have ever had... It was like she had been given a bio sheet on me and told me everything I wanted to hear! I gave her no info on things like the music I like, etc. She even told me she still uses a rotary telephone (which I still have in my bedroom!) So far, so good.

Today the bubble of course was burst. First she got a bit raw with me in terms of telling me how horny she is. I have no problem with this when you get to a certain point, but it was WAY too early. She eventually said it was just a test to see what I would do, and she couldn't have even invited me over if I would have come, since her son was there. (I only half believed it.) Ok, so we get to the point of talking on the phone... Great conversation. She's easy to talk to and I was forgetting all about her saying things and asking things that were very distracting while at work (I honestly have little recollection of what occurred during that time other than what she had to say!) She did apologize for going overboard. She even seems fine with my insane work schedule and is more than willing to work around it, which is practically impossible to do.

Then came the bomb... She is currently separated. Not divorced, but says it's over and there will be a divorce. I want to meet this woman. She seems like someone I could get along with very well. However I don't know that she would be willing to wait until a divorce is final. AARGH! Why can't there be one decent, attractive woman that I can dig and who can dig me in return who is free, single and completely available!

[DaddyTorgo]

Maybe you have to compromise a little. At least meet her before the divorce or something?

Not that I'm really one to talk...but like...maybe you have to accept that no one will ever meet all your criteria and be perfect, and if this woman seems great in other ways you should cut her a little slack on this??

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Maybe you have to compromise a little. At least meet her before the divorce or something?

Not that I'm really one to talk...but like...maybe you have to accept that no one will ever meet all your criteria and be perfect, and if this woman seems great in other ways you should cut her a little slack on this??

I realize no woman can be all off what I look for. If I ever met her I would be sure that it was time to come out of the coma.

I am thinking of meeting her for drinks (her suggestion.) I could go for an intense friendship with a hope that one day she would be free. I feel that she was mostly expressing her frustration, but know that where there's smoke...

What's funny is that as is typical, if a friend came to me asking advice on this I would tell him to RUN. However, I have never been a very good friend to myself, ignoring my own advice! (What's that you say? A woman dropped a "L" bomb an hour after she met you? You better not take her home!)

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Oh, and the farthest I've ever gone with a married woman in my adult life was with a former coworker. We were at a bar, drunk with a group from work and were away from the group when she grabbed me and kissed me. It got pretty heavy and my hands went a bit lower than her back when all of a sudden that damned conscience awakened and screamed MARRIED! I avoided her the rest of the night... wasn't easy as she was F-I-N-E!

[DanGarion]

Dating someone who is separated and in the process of divorce is an interesting ride. The main thing to look out for is that you aren't just a rebound. I was fortunate I wasn't a rebound with the person I dated in this situation. The timing just wasn't right and we ended up going our separate ways. She was having a lot of issues with her estranged husband and afraid for me because of the way he was, so she pushed me away. We still stay in touch, but I'm married, and I'm pretty sure she's now remarried. I helped her through a tough time in her life. And I learned a lot about myself from the experience.

[sabotai]

I think you may be overreacting a bit. Why would you have to wait until the divorse is final before you meet her? There's a reason they have legal speration, it's so people can get on with their lives (more or less) while the expensive, long, legal process plays out, especially when their is a kid involved. I don't see what there is to run from in this situation. (Except, for me, the kid would be the reason to run, but you seem to have a problem with that.)

At least meet her and try to find out more about what stage of the divorse process she is at. If she hasn't even started, then ok, sever, but if it's in motion, then you're all good.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Thanks guys... You're swell!

[Vinatieri for Prez]

A horny divorcee. That's so terrible.

[Passacaglia]

Wasn't she weirded out when she found out you were a man posting in the women for women section?

[Lathum]

I don't see what the big deal is either about her being seperated. Meet her for drinks, have no expectations and see where it goes. There was a point in my life where I looked at every girl as a potential long term relationship, once I stopped looking at every girl that way alot of possibilities opened up and I eventualy found the right one.

[rkmsuf]

So in other words


Waaaaaaaaaaaaa.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Passacaglia

Wasn't she weirded out when she found out you were a man posting in the women for women section?

i'm very confused about this too. or does he mean that he just took the post from the w4w section and modified it and posted it in m4w?

[panerd]

I don't know if the other posters who say to go for it are posting from experience or not, but here goes. Stay the hell away. I just wasted away 5 months of my life chasing after a seperated but not divorced woman with a kid. Is your potential date legally seperated or just seperated? There is a HUGE difference.

At the beginning of the affair (there is no other word for it) I had control. Not that I wanted to have control but this became important later on. My friends all told me to either take it for what it is (sex) or I was going to get screwed over. But I thought that I would be able to fill the void in her life that her husband couldn't fill and be her prince charming to come and save the day. As the months went on it became apperent that I wasn't meeting her kid any time soon (this makes sense) but also that she wasn't leaving her husband either. She was very happy sleeping with me and enjoying his financial security blanket. Finally she told me that I am pressuring her too much. I am single, she is married with a kid and I get dumped???

It sounds like you are like me, a single guy looking to get into a serious relationship. If this is true than don't do it. If you are the type of guy that can have a sexual relationship with no strings attached than go for it. But be careful and really think about it, because I thought I could do the no strings attached and didn't think I would get attached and I got screwed over big time.

[panerd]

Moral of my story: Don't think you are smarter than every single friend that you have that says to stay away.

[BrianD]

Originally Posted by panerd

I don't know if the other posters who say to go for it are posting from experience or not, but here goes. Stay the hell away. I just wasted away 5 months of my life chasing after a seperated but not divorced woman with a kid. Is your potential date legally seperated or just seperated? There is a HUGE difference.

At the beginning of the affair (there is no other word for it) I had control. Not that I wanted to have control but this became important later on. My friends all told me to either take it for what it is (sex) or I was going to get screwed over. But I thought that I would be able to fill the void in her life that her husband couldn't fill and be her prince charming to come and save the day. As the months went on it became apperent that I wasn't meeting her kid any time soon (this makes sense) but also that she wasn't leaving her husband either. She was very happy sleeping with me and enjoying his financial security blanket. Finally she told me that I am pressuring her too much. I am single, she is married with a kid and I get dumped???

It sounds like you are like me, a single guy looking to get into a serious relationship. If this is true than don't do it. If you are the type of guy that can have a sexual relationship with no strings attached than go for it. But be careful and really think about it, because I thought I could do the no strings attached and didn't think I would get attached and I got screwed over big time.

This is basically the advice I would give. People reconcile often enough and change their minds about what they are looking for. If she is currently married (separated or not), the cards are stacked against you at the start. Even after the divorce happens, she could be an emotional wreck for a while. Once things settle down, you'll get to see the real her. If you go for it now, I think you'll be in for a disappointment.

[st.cronin]

Thread title should be Ping: JimmyWinT

[Eaglesfan27]

Originally Posted by BrianD

This is basically the advice I would give. People reconcile often enough and change their minds about what they are looking for. If she is currently married (separated or not), the cards are stacked against you at the start. Even after the divorce happens, she could be an emotional wreck for a while. Once things settle down, you'll get to see the real her. If you go for it now, I think you'll be in for a disappointment.

Yep. You should stay far away, unless you are just looking for a quick fling and don't care about anything else. Otherwise, give her time to straighten stuff out.

[JediKooter]

Get a horse.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

i'm very confused about this too. or does he mean that he just took the post from the w4w section and modified it and posted it in m4w?

I posted in m4w.

The last woman I was seeing was divorced and told me that two years before divorcing her husband they separated and she thought it was over, so had an affair... then got back together with the husband. (I seem to attract women that are problematic!) I guess this has me overthinking a bit... I tend to overthink when the blood is flowing above the neck!

I'm definitely leaning toward meeting for a drink and seeing what's up. Worst case situation I figure is I waste an evening drinking with an attractive woman... I've had worse wasted evenings!

[M GO BLUE!!!]

After all of that it appears as though she was a fake the whole time.

Things fell apart and I saw an ad that I replied to. I got a response from this one and she seemed to have a bit too much in common with the first woman. Even the names were close Helena/Heather. "Heather" didn't have any pictures on her laptop (same excuse) and signed off to switch computers. "Heather" never signed back on, but before too long "Helena" signed on.

The only face pics I saw of "Helena" were thumbnails. She was evasive of sending a large face pic, but had no trouble sharing a pic of the booty that filled the whole screen!

I wish I could just give up on women completely...

[Izulde]

*laughs*

I'm sorry man, but that conclusion was just too funny.

[bulletsponge]

I wish I could just give up on women completely...

go gay

[M GO BLUE!!!]

No reason to be sorry! I thought it was funny enough to see how long it would take her to slip up!

I posted a second one written entirely differently and she responded to that one too! (Same email as "Helena") I replied from a second email and took it to a sexual level fairly quickly, where she claimed to be shy and not like that.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by bulletsponge

go gay

Look in the mirror. That is as good a reason as any NOT to go gay!

[bulletsponge]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

Look in the mirror. That is as good a reason as any NOT to go gay!

eeewww im not making out with a dude. women have all the things i like

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by bulletsponge

women have all the things i like

true.

physically, women are wonderful!

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

true.

physically, women are wonderful!

Mentally, they're a headache.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Izulde

Mentally, they're a headache.

only if you talk to them

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by Lathum

only if you talk to them

So we're all agreed then. Prostitution should be universally legalized!