It's that time of year again. (Gindin's annual tomfoolery. (2015 Update)

[Ben E Lou]

Check out the Solecismic site.

[Ben E Lou]

Solecismic Software to Cease Publication

Solecismic Software has announced that it will no longer publish Front Office Football games.

"We have decided to move toward titles less suited to hardcore gamers," said Ethan Potter, director of Customer Relations for Solecismic Software. "We have an exciting new Hello Kitty screen saver in the pipeline that we think can sell in the hundreds of thousands."

Potter went on to say that the sports simulation genre is out of favor in publishing circles. He scoffed at today's announcement of Front Office Football 2006 as too little, too late.

"Who is Gindin kidding?" Potter laughed. "Terrell Owens for the end-zone celebrations? That is so 2001. Talk to me when you get Joe Horn. Talk to me when you replace those boring statistics with floating 3-D numbers that sparkle and dance." Jim Gindin, founder and lead developer of the Front Office series of games, could not be reached for comment. But a reporter stationed outside his home in rural Amherst, New Hampshire heard the distinct sound of a sledgehammer smashing a big-screen television. Gindin is rumored to be considering a career change. He was offered the head coach position on the University of New Hampshire varsity women's curling team.

[Ben E Lou]

Front Office Football 2006

Be the first on your block to own a 2006 football game. Forget about all those products that merely mention the year 2005, Front Office Football 2006 is truly a next-generation product.

FOF 2006 takes advantage of rules changes even the NFL hasn't yet implemented. With scores down during the 2003 season, drastic action was necessary. It won't get any better in 2004 and 2005. So, in 2006, the league will experiment by reducing the yardage required for a first down from ten yards to nine.

FOF 2006 has trademarked the phrase "first and nine, time to move the line." Take that, Madden.

The NFL will also significantly change defensive pass interference penalties. Twice a game, each wide receiver will be allowed to throw his own flag. The referee will then review the play, and if the defender initiated any contact past the five-yard bump zone, it's an automatic penalty. Receivers successfully using two challenges during the game will be granted a third challenge.

FOF 2006 will incorporate this change with a new technology never before found in a video game. DirectX 11.0, which is scheduled for release in 2005, will include a new "touch and feel" texture-pad interface on the mouse. So, when you're using the Microsoft IntelliTouchyFeelyMouse, you'll be able to sense when your receiver has been unfairly abused, and then you can instruct him to throw that flag.

Front Office Football 2006 will also incorporate the following new features into the game:

• Interactive Combine Test Results - see your potential draftees take the Solecismic Intelligence Test (SIT) during the annual scouting combine. You will be allowed to interfere with the test by giving certain players the correct answers, thus overinflating their scores and making them more interesting to opposing teams during the draft. But cheat too often, and risk losing your own draft picks.
• NFL Afghanistan - forget about NFL Europe, it's failing. By 2005, all the hot offseason NFL action will be in Afghanistan and western Asia. In FOF 2006, you can train your young players by sending them to play in NFL Afghanistan. Be careful, as it's still a violent world, and some of them may not come home.
• Peytronizing - When it comes to negotiating a contract, all players feel they need more money. The NFL stops this horrible example of greed by allowing each team one franchise or transition player. That player automatically receives a one-year contract at a high rate. But that's not enough in 2006. You'll be allowed to Peytronize an additional star player. For a one-time fee of 40% of the salary cap, you'll be able to keep your favorite player. But there's a cost. He'll get to choose five of his teammates for immediate release. And one of them might well be your liquored-up idiot all-pro kicker.
• End-Zone Celebrations - Yeah, we all heard how celebrating was evil. In 2004, the NFL is supposed to end touchdown routines, sack dances and first-down pointing. Well, attendance will suffer, and by 2006, everyone will be begging Terrell Owens to come up with a new way to humiliate his opponents. Here at Solecismic Software, we've heard the clamor for improved graphics and yummy little eye-candy routines. So, we rented some time at a motion-capture studio in Philadelphia, traveled down there and convinced Owens to try out 100 or so original routines. We then hired a studio experienced in Playstation 3 development to process these routines and incorporate them into FOF 2006. While the famiar scoreboard interface will still be used to display the play-by-play, when you score a touchdown, Terrell will dance for you in his full 24-bit color, 3D, 1280x1024 screen glory.
• New Injuries - Fans of the Front Office series are already familiar with the remote possibility that half your team will come down with food poisoning right before a key matchup. Bo-ring. Now, each week, in addition to the weather and the attendance for each game, you'll have access to a description of each team's pre-game meal. Now, if your team suffers food poisoning, you'll know what caused it, and you'll be able to avoid the Chicken Kiev on your next road trip to Buffalo.
• Leonardo da Vinci Mania! - We've heard the complaints that Front Office Football looks too much like a spreadsheet. Well, we've made a special deal with Microsoft founder Bill Gates' Corbis company to access his library of fine art. Now, if you're tired of looking at statistics, with one button-press you can change that ugly graph of numbers into the Mona Lisa. Or that salary chart can become Jean Baptiste Camille Corot's Civita Castellana. Or those infuriatingly unattractive league leader lists can become a pretty kitty cat. The possibilities are endless.

There's just so much more in FOF 2006, we can't even begin to tell you about it. You'll just have to download the demo and try it out. Because of piracy concerns, we've limited this full-function demo to 11 seconds of game play. But it's still worth the 2 terabyte download just to see what we've done with the installation routine.

Front Office Football 2006 is scheduled for release on April 1, 2004 at your neighborhood Wal-Mart, Target and Lane Bryant stores.

[Easy Mac]

Thank God, now we can retitle the board HKC (Hello Kitty Central).

[JAG]

LOL

[Tekneek]

Originally Posted by SkyDog

Because of piracy concerns, we've limited this full-function demo to 11 seconds of game play. But it's still worth the 2 terabyte download just to see what we've done with the installation routine.

That was...AWESOME.

[fantastic flying froggies]

Hey, I thought the WR's own penalty flags were a pretty cool idea, imagine what Owens or Moss would do with those ?

[condors]

i love the peytronizing thing

[mckerney]

A great April Fools Day Prank would be for OOTP Developments to release OOTP6. I'd get a kick out of that one.

[Ksyrup]

Originally Posted by Tekneek

That was...AWESOME.

Yep. You've got to respect a man who can poke fun at himself. Well done!

[Flame Eater]

MEEEOOOOOOWWWW!!

[Young Drachma]

hehehehe...

great stuff

[Celeval]

Rock on! I'm heading to Lane Bryant right now!

[Subby]

Pick me up some size-16 mom jeans while you are there!!!

[Tekneek]

Originally Posted by Celeval

Rock on! I'm heading to Lane Bryant right now!

[WSUCougar]

LOL

Love it.

Now, what's the over/under on newbs posting "I can't find the FOF2006 download" threads?

[SirFozzie]

Cool, I'll have to tell my friend Sheila about this one, she can get the Hello Kitty Screensaver to go with the Hello Kitty Vibrator she already owns.

(yes, there really IS a Hello Kitty Vibrator)

[JeeberD]

Outstanding stuff. I just wish Jim had hired George Teague for the endzone celebrations as well...

[Darkiller]

Excellent stuff from Jim, very creative.

[Passacaglia]

Bi Fny F Tts F2b F Icm Nio Pbeyl Eahsrwi Npaa Lswce Tpd F

I don't get it.

[JAG]

Jeeber, thanks for the trip down good memory lane. My only regret is that he didn't get an even better shot on him.

[BigJohn&TheLions]

I read on and the site also mentioned a "FOF2004" What is that? Like we'd fall for that! Jim is such a kidder!

[Ben E Lou]

Bump for 2005...

Originally Posted by Solecismic Web Site

Solecismic Software is Hiring!

We have a new position available supporting our fall 2005 game release. If you're interested in becoming part of our vibrant company, please complete an application and tell us all about yourself.

[TLK]

"Football 101".... can't wait....

[Ragone]

hehe, i like homestarrunners.com 's april fools day prank

[Tekneek]

Originally Posted by Ragone

hehe, i like homestarrunners.com 's april fools day prank

1 player simultaneous...

"SOLVE FOR X!!"

[gstelmack]

Originally Posted by SkyDog

FOF 2006 will incorporate this change with a new technology never before found in a video game. DirectX 11.0, which is scheduled for release in 2005, will include a new "touch and feel" texture-pad interface on the mouse. So, when you're using the Microsoft IntelliTouchyFeelyMouse, you'll be able to sense when your receiver has been unfairly abused, and then you can instruct him to throw that flag.

Somehow I missed this last year, but there used to be a force-feedback mouse on the market (I've written code for it). In other words, except for the flag throwing bit, the rest of this is entirely plausible.


I've got to see if I can come up with a good angle for the Solecismic job application. Jim's just begging for us to make his day, and I think it's time we gave something back.

[Franklinnoble]

I've submitted my application. The rest of you might as well not bother - that internship is as good as mine.

[VPI97]

I'm too old to intern

[3ric]

Hope Jim publishes some of the best applications tomorrow - there are bound to be some good ones sent his way...

[Ksyrup]

You wouldn't want to commit a public solecism, would you?


LOL!

[Draft Dodger]

funny stuff from the applicants.

[Franklinnoble]

Second place?!? Bah.

My application was actually a lot longer... shoulda kept it for posterity.

[VPI97]

http://www.solecismic.com/

New Information about Our Current Project

Yes, Solecismic Software is involved in something exciting and new. Please visit our puzzle page for a set of challenging mind twisters that may lead to a surprising discovery. Hurry, time is running out.

[Tigercat]

Hmm what an interesting day for breaking info! Let me guess, the puzzle will hint at front office two man skeleton?

[sabotai]

And I guess this just happens to magically appear on April Fool's Day?

[sabotai]

For the lazy, here are the puzzles.

Yes, brand new information is available about Solecismic Software's current and pressing project. We'd love to share it with everyone, but it seems too simple just to put it out there. Almost anticlimactic.
So, we're going to make you work for it. We've placed this information in a file at the top level of our web site. The URL is a standard php file, but the prefix is a code. Something like http://www.solecismic.com/1234567.php, where the answers to the questions below will give you the 1234567 part.
If you solve all these problems correctly, you will be able to construct the URL we've hidden this information on. You have until April 2 to find this URL, when the information will disappear altogether.

Part 1

I'm into birthdays. Nothing makes me happier than to see two people randomly find out they have the same birthday. That's just way cool.
So, I'm holding a party, but I'm on a limited budget. It will cost me $7 in food and drink for each guest.
How much money, minimum, will it cost me to put together a party at which I'm at least 98% certain that two guests at the party will have the same birthday?

Part 2

I've gone crazy and decided to bet $30,000 on a best-of-seven baseball series between Boston and Philadelphia. That is, I win $30,000 if Boston wins the series and I lose $30,000 if Philadelphia wins the series.
There's one catch. I can only bet on each game individually and I must bet on each game. It's an antiquated betting web site and can't handle anything more complex. You can assume the odds of each game are set at 1:1, and the house does not take a cut.
So, game one is coming up, and Curt Schilling is facing Cory Lidle. How much money do I put down on Boston?

Part 3

I like playing bridge, but the mathematics is sometimes a lot tougher than it looks.
Anyway, I bid too aggressively, and when my partner's hand was laid out, I found he only had four hearts to go with my four hearts. The only way I can make this bid is if our opponents hearts are split 2/3 or 3/2.
Rounding down to the nearest whole number, what is my percentage chance of making the bid, assuming I make the bid if I get that split?

Part 4

Here's an easier one. Texas Hold 'em has received a lot of attention in the media lately, mainly because celebrities with brains the size of almonds seem to do all right competing against each other.
So, pretend you're Alexis Bledel, and you have an eight and a six in the pocket. Because you're adorable and cute, you somehow survive the first round of bidding, and you're encouraged to see a seven, a five and a king in the flop. Neato Cool!
There are six other players in the game, three of whom have folded already, including Martin Sheen and Brian Austin Green.
Suddenly, a math geek appears by your left shoulder and whispers something in your ear. Strangely, you're not disgusted, because while trying to peer down the front of your blouse, he tells you to bet 10,000 times the probability that you'll get your straight off the turn and the river, rounding down, of course. How much did he tell you to bet?

Part 5

If you want to receive a PhD in math, all together you're going to go through about 21 grades' worth of school material.
Well, math geeks tend be quite intelligent people overall, especially in ways that impress teachers.
Let's say we have a truly superior math geek student who can skip grades at will. But he can only skip one grade per year. Or not, if he chooses. So he can go one grade at a time and take 21 years to obtain his PhD. Or he can skip as often as possible, and need only 11 years. His choice.
Those are only two of literally thousands of ways he could choose to go. So, how many different combinations of skipping and not skipping are possible?

Putting it All Together

Just take the answers to the five questions, one through five, and create that URL. Remove all dollar signs, percentage signs and commas. As a hint, you should have 18 numbers in all. Good Luck.










Now solve them slackers!

[TazFTW]

Originally Posted by sabotai

And I guess this just happens to magically appear on April Fool's Day?

D'oh!

I had suggested in the past that Jim announce his next game via puzzle but this occuring on April 1st is not a good omen.

[Raiders Army]

Originally Posted by sabotai

And I guess this just happens to magically appear on April Fool's Day?

Good call.

[VPI97]

Originally Posted by sabotai

Part 1

I'm into birthdays. Nothing makes me happier than to see two people randomly find out they have the same birthday. That's just way cool.
So, I'm holding a party, but I'm on a limited budget. It will cost me $7 in food and drink for each guest.
How much money, minimum, will it cost me to put together a party at which I'm at least 98% certain that two guests at the party will have the same birthday?

The odds that two people have the same birthday are: (365/365) * (1/365) :: (100% chance the first person is born on their birthday) * (odds that second person is born on that specific day)...or 0.27%

You can also arrive at that number by figuring out the probability that the two people don't share a birthday and subtracting that from 1... (365/365) * (364/365) = .9973 = 99.73% chance they don't (0.27% chance they will). Figuring out three poeple would be (365/365) * (364//365) * (363/365) = .9918 :: 1 - .9918 = 0.82% chance of two people having the same birthday out of the three.

Plugging that calculation into Excel says that you need 53 people to get a 98.12% chance that two out of the 53 share the same birthday. Multiple that by $7 in food and drink and the answer to #1 is 371.

[MIJB#19]

Originally Posted by VPI97

The odds that two people have the same birthday are: (365/365) * (1/365) :: (100% chance the first person is born on their birthday) * (odds that second person is born on that specific day)...or 0.27%

You can also arrive at that number by figuring out the probability that the two people don't share a birthday and subtracting that from 1... (365/365) * (364/365) = .9973 = 99.73% chance they don't (0.27% chance they will). Figuring out three poeple would be (365/365) * (364//365) * (363/365) = .9918 :: 1 - .9918 = 0.82% chance of two people having the same birthday out of the three.

Plugging that calculation into Excel says that you need 53 people to get a 98.12% chance that two out of the 53 share the same birthday. Multiple that by $7 in food and drink and the answer to #1 is 371.

You haven't taken into account the odds that two people are both born on the 29th of February...

[Fouts]

Originally Posted by sabotai

Part 4

Here's an easier one. Texas Hold 'em has received a lot of attention in the media lately, mainly because celebrities with brains the size of almonds seem to do all right competing against each other.
So, pretend you're Alexis Bledel, and you have an eight and a six in the pocket. Because you're adorable and cute, you somehow survive the first round of bidding, and you're encouraged to see a seven, a five and a king in the flop. Neato Cool!
There are six other players in the game, three of whom have folded already, including Martin Sheen and Brian Austin Green.
Suddenly, a math geek appears by your left shoulder and whispers something in your ear. Strangely, you're not disgusted, because while trying to peer down the front of your blouse, he tells you to bet 10,000 times the probability that you'll get your straight off the turn and the river, rounding down, of course. How much did he tell you to bet?

I believe it is 34% to complete an open ended straight draw on the turn or river (I could be wrong). .34 x 10000 = 3400.

[MIJB#19]

Originally Posted by Fouts

I believe it is 34% to complete an open ended straight draw on the turn or river (I could be wrong). .34 x 10000 = 3400.

52 cards.
5 are known.
47 are unknown.
8 are unknown and are a desired four or nine.

I think the odds to get a good card are:
8/47 + 39/47 * 8/46 = .31452

Multiplied by 10,000 that would be 3145.

[MIJB#19]

Part 3

I like playing bridge, but the mathematics is sometimes a lot tougher than it looks.
Anyway, I bid too aggressively, and when my partner's hand was laid out, I found he only had four hearts to go with my four hearts. The only way I can make this bid is if our opponents hearts are split 2/3 or 3/2.
Rounding down to the nearest whole number, what is my percentage chance of making the bid, assuming I make the bid if I get that split?

I think it's 33 percent.

With six options (0/5, 1/4, 2/3, 3/2, 4/1, 5/0), two winning options, it gives 1/3rd as the answer.

Edit: Nah, that can't be it, that sounds too easy.

[Fouts]

Originally Posted by MIJB#19

52 cards.
5 are known.
47 are unknown.
8 are unknown and are a desired four or nine.

I think the odds to get a good card are:
8/47 + 39/47 * 8/46 = .31452

Multiplied by 10,000 that would be 3145.

Ok, if you say so. He did say to round down though.

[Flasch186]

slowly backing out of thread as I think I just heard one of the seams in my brain pop

[Chubby]

www.solecismic.com/baseball.php

[JeeberD]

Ping: Quiksand

[TredWel]

I can do Part 3, being a bridge player myself. You'll face 3-2 distribution 68% of the time. That's one of the magic numbers bridge players learn.

[QuikSand]

Originally Posted by MIJB#19

You haven't taken into account the odds that two people are both born on the 29th of February...

I have always seen these puzzles solved with the convenient ignoring of leap years, for whatever reason. (Well, I guess the reasosn is simplification) Always struck me as a bit odd.