"Idolic" Day at Giants camp: Bonds IS Paula Abdul

[Bearcat729]

Ugh there are some downright scary pictures of Barry Bonds in drag at the link


http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cg...PGNVHG3847.DTL


"Idolic" Day at Giants camp: Bonds IS Paula Abdul

Henry Schulman, Chronicle Staff Writer

Tuesday, February 28, 2006


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Scottsdale, Ariz. -- When Barry Bonds is inducted into the Hall of Fame, his plaque will include this inspirational entry:

"On Feb. 28, 2006, Bonds appeared on the Giants' spring practice field in drag, wearing a wig, a skirt and a halter top supported by falsies. Rob Schneider, a comedian of the era, called him 'Scary Bonds.' Children wept. Grown men gouged their eyes out. Teammates hooted. Three asked for his phone number. Bonds, known to be surly to the media, threatened bodily harm to any cameraman who attempted to film his legs from the knees up."

You had to see it to believe it, and even then ... well ... wow. Bonds did not just portray Paula Abdul on the first day of "Giants Idol." He was Paula Abdul. After pitcher prospect Brian Wilson dressed as Billy Idol and belted out "White Wedding," Bonds raised his voice two octaves and cooed, "Call me."

It was a most un-Bonds moment on the most un-Giants-like day in, like, forever. It started with the first day of "Giants Idol," a singing competition featuring prospects in their first big-league camp. None was shy about it. When pitcher Justin Hedrick sang T-Pain's "I'm in Love with a Stripper" he brought a prop -- a rubber lady you buy at one of those special stores. He taped to a long section of PVC pipe that served as the dancer's pole.

Ray Durham was Randy Jackson, and when pitcher Billy Sadler did a terrific turn as Tim McGraw singing "It's Your Love," Durham said, "Three words: Hol-ly-wood!"

Jeff Fassero was Simon Cowell while Omar Vizquel and Schneider both channeled Ryan Seacrest. Later, Schneider practiced with the team as part of a TV special before moving to the clubhouse for a banter session with Willie Mays that ended with the Say Hey Kid getting a haircut from catcher Yamid Haad.

The daylong hootenanny was a departure for a Giants clubhouse that in recent years has been as fun-loving as a day at the DMV. This team had a serious chemistry problem last year, namely the lack of any. This spring, the Giants have done a 180. The clubhouse has become a funhouse, "a night-day difference from 2005," catcher Mike Matheny said.

"When things are like this, I swear to you, you play better as a team," said right fielder Moises Alou, who publicly complained last year that the Giants' chemistry was terrible.

The infusion of fun-spirited players such as "Giants Idol" organizer Mark Sweeney and reliever Steve Kline, and some young pitchers, have helped lighten the tone. Plus, one can't discount Bonds, who seems to be having more fun (or at least is trying to with cameras for his upcoming ESPN show rolling).

Bonds' turn as Abdul was so over the top and out of character, it turned some heads, and not in the way he intended.

"I'm not going to lie to you," reliever Jack Taschner said. "He was mildly attractive. For a minute there I didn't know if I should jump out of my seat and go for a make-out session or run for the hills."

But those exposed telephone-pole biceps that made it hard for manager Felipe Alou to see Bonds as a woman.

"No chance," he said.

Vizquel went a bit further, saying, "That's an ugly broad over there." Actually, Vizquel did not say "broad," but another word that starts with the same letter.

When Bonds sashayed up the clubhouse steps and onto the field, jaws dropped.

"That floored me," Matheny said. "If I were a betting man, when I originally heard about it I would have wagered he was not going to be out there. I wouldn't have done it. I couldn't have done it. For him to do that means a lot to the guys in here. It puts him on our level. It was a huge step."

Bonds said he did it simply because he was asked. He also assured reporters he did not expect to hear from Abdul's lawyers, saying, "Paula and I have known each other for a long time. She's a wonderful person. We did this for fun. That was all."

Furthermore, Bonds said, "I'll never tell my wife to hurry up anymore, because it took me forever to get dressed."

Lest anyone think Felipe Alou has allowed his camp to become "Weekend at Bernie's," Matheny said the opposite is true, that the workouts have been more intensive and tightly run. Alou is happy with the work, saying, "It's like some of competition here in everything they do."

Matheny sees a natural progression. The better the players get along, the more time they spend together in the clubhouse talking ball, the faster they coalesce as a team. Where Matheny saw cliques last year, he sees players "flocking" in different groups.

"There's a better atmosphere in here," he said. "A big part of this year was Mo calling us out last year. We had 25 guys in here, and as soon as the game was over you had 25 guys going in 25 different directions. Last year it was like every man for himself, and that's a recipe for disaster."

On Tuesday, Bonds provided a recipe for laughter by stepping out of character -- and out of men's clothing.

"Hey," he said, "somebody had to do it."

E-mail Henry Schulman at [email protected].

[Karlifornia]

lmao@ those pictures...hopefully this is a sign that the Giants can co-exist this year.

[MrBug708]

Man, I thought the Dodgers losing to their Double A team was embarrassing