WIFE 1.0

[Galaril]

I got this from a guy I work with in my firm. Some people may have seen it but thought it was worth posting.
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Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed the new program contained the module Baby 2.0 which unexpectedly began child processing. This module requires significant space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run independently. When attempting to run the programs outside of Wife 1.0, the system crashes. How can I keep wife 1.0 in the background while running my favorite programs?

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but I cannot find the uninstall module for Wife. 1.0.

Please Help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User
Tech Support replied with this:

Dear Troubled User:

What you are experiencing is a very common problem. Many users have upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

IT IS NOT...

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run EVERYTHING!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. Once the files are installed, they cannot be deleted.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is designed to block any attempts. PLEASE consult Wife 1.0 manual, Chapter 7 (Warnings) sec. 9 (Alimony/Child Support).

We recommend you retain Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.

The background application “Yes Dear” has proven to be very helpful in alleviating software conflicts.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE, as ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal function. Please note the “Apologize” command does not always take effect immediately.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. If you haven’t explored the full benefits of Wife 1.0 we suggest you load the support package which contains; clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

Be very careful how you use these support programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to Purchase additional software. We recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

One final note:

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support

[FrogMan]

it's the first time I've read this and I found it hilarious

FM

[Cringer]

nice. lol

[Galaril]

But, my wife didn't find this so humorous.

[duckman]

I'm shocked.

[Galaril]

I ran across this old thread looking for something else and thought it was worth bumping. Still funny after two years.

[Danny]

It is funny. My soon to be wife originally sent this to me after we had been dating a few weeks.