The Rose Bowl

[MylesKnight]

Alright, with the JV games now out of the way, it's time for "THE" GAME.

[SirFozzie]

Originally Posted by MylesKnight

Alright, with the JV games now out of the way, it's time for "THE" GAME.

It starts what.. in 15 minutes? Damn 1 o clock game ran long...

[biological warrior]

If the Rose Bowl is half as good as the MPC computers bowl then, I can die a happy man.

[cartman]

It looks like this is the year that if you have "Big" in your conference name, you win your BCS game:

Fiesta: Ohio State, Big Ten
Sugar: West Virginia, Big East
Orange: Penn State, Big Ten

and after tonight
Rose: Texas, Big 12

edit to fix the Sugar Bowl winner

[SirFozzie]

uh cartman? just a FYI.. I appreciate you saying BC had a better year then it did, but... um.. BC's not in the Big East

[cartman]

Originally Posted by SirFozzie

uh cartman? just a FYI.. I appreciate you saying BC had a better year then it did, but... um.. BC's not in the Big East

D'oh. Fixed.

[Icy]

Umm it's at my 2am and will end like at 5am... my pregnant wife could kill me for being awake that late in the night (or early in the morning depending how you see it). I need to find an excuse... who wants to call me at that time about one of my servers being down?

[Huckleberry]

Texas moneyline has moved from +225 to +180 in the last 24 hours. Interesting.

[Vegas Vic]

Originally Posted by Huckleberry

Texas moneyline has moved from +225 to +180 in the last 24 hours. Interesting.

Yeah, I got some of that. They must respect my opinion.

I also layed -6.5 back in December and bought back +8.5 for a larger bet last week.

[Huckleberry]

Originally Posted by Vegas Vic

Yeah, I got some of that. They must respect my opinion.

I also layed -6.5 back in December and bought back +8.5 for a larger bet last week.

Makes sense that the people that were intending to bet on Texas would wait until the last minute. The line had been moving toward USC since it opened.

So it sounds like you're really pulling for a 7 or 8 point USC win, right?

[Vegas Vic]

Originally Posted by Huckleberry

Makes sense that the people that were intending to bet on Texas would wait until the last minute. The line had been moving toward USC since it opened.

So it sounds like you're really pulling for a 7 or 8 point USC win, right?

That would make me the most money, but I think Texas wins this one outright.

[albionmoonlight]

This reminds me of how ESPN has been treating USC for the last few weeks or so . . .

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/

USC VS. TEXAS: THE FIRST QUARTER
—USC wins the toss, of course. Had they done one hundred coin tosses, USC would have won all of them. USC defers, and Texas elects to receive. Refs shake their heads in unison, dial 9-1 on their cell phones, wait with finger poised over the 1.

—A new ball is called for a rekick to replace original ball. No such replacement is available for what used to be called the earth’s moon, which Troy Van Blarcom’s kickoff has split in twain with horrifying force. Entire nation of India breaks into chorus of “Fight On” out of mixed awe, fear and respect.

–Kickoff is fielded cleanly by a woman in the third row of the stands. As she catches it, her chronic painful sciatica miraculously heals, and her tears of joy make daisies sprout from the cracks in the concrete as they hit the pavement.

–Texas runs their first play: a play-action qb option play with Limas Sweed running wild and wide open behind the Trojan secondary…who catches the ball and is immediately struck by lightning, evaporating into a pile of fine ashes on contact. Two quick runs and Texas punts cleanly to a waiting Reggie Bush, who calls a fair catch.

–Reggie Bush then scores on a 63 yard return…with his mind.

–Texas gets the ball again on a kick, but fumbles when Frostee Rucker, sitting on the sidelines, points his hand in the direction of the ballcarrier, wiggles his fingers and wrinkles his philtrum side to side a la Samantha in Bewitched. In a comfortable Tudor home in suburban Connecticut, Gladys Kravitz shakes her head and thinks that she just knows something isn’t right about that Rucker boy.

Gladys Kravitz just knew there was something about that Rucker boy.

–The Texas returner instantly fumbles the ball into the waiting hands of backup TE Fred Davis, who scores a touchdown and celebrates by knitting a perfectly formed red and gold beanie in 3.4 seconds flat. As he tosses the beanie in the stands, it turns into a dove and flies to Palestine, where peace reigns for the first time in recorded history.

–In response, the Texas ball carrier thanks Rucker for mercy, and offers his rump to Rucker in a display of animal submission. Rucker declines, saying that while Frostee Rucker may sing about love, he cannot actually feel love…for steel has no heart. The entire Texas bench breaks into tears upon hearing this, and Limas Sweed leaps from the top of the Rose Bowl to his death in sympathy.

–Texas drives sixty yards on the ensuing possession, but only because USC’s defense is now sitting on the sidelines on their thrones of gold, celebrating their already certain victory by throwing fistfuls of doubloons into the crowd and occasionally stopping to make fierce but tender love to the women of the crowd. Each one of them makes sweet perfect love to a degree you cannot possibly hope to equal, and each woman immediately takes vows of chastity afterward, swearing that life has given them all it could offer and they can want no more. (You know, kind of like Prince’s ex-girlfriends all do.)

–In place of the USC defense, the band plays a fine series, mixing in zone blitzes with a cover 2 scheme that contains Vince Young with a spy on third down, in this instance a second year biochem major who plays flute. She makes an amazing open-field tackle on Young on 3rd and goal, and Longhorns settle for a field goal.

Should do a fine job once the game ends in the first quarter.

–On the kickoff, Reggie Bush takes a knee, but only to show his infinite mercy and goodness to the Longhorns. In gratitude, the Longhorns build a golden calf and offer it to Reggie, who graciously takes the calf, melts it down with his bare hands, and sells it on the open market for a profit he immediately donates to the well-run charity of his choice.

–Matt Leinart takes the first snap, goes play action, and throws a line drive through the chest of corner Cedric Griffin to Dwayne Jarrett for a ten yard completion. As Jarrett streaks to the endzone, Griffin begs for assistance. Leinart declines, saying that Bush is the merciful God, while he is the vengeful one. Bush laughs, puts down his chalice of mead, and heals Griffin while having sex with Vince Young’s mother.

And that’s how the first quarter should go.

[GrantDawg]

Originally Posted by albionmoonlight

This reminds me of how ESPN has been treating USC for the last few weeks or so . . .

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/

USC VS. TEXAS: THE FIRST QUARTER
—USC wins the toss, of course. Had they done one hundred coin tosses, USC would have won all of them. USC defers, and Texas elects to receive. Refs shake their heads in unison, dial 9-1 on their cell phones, wait with finger poised over the 1.

—A new ball is called for a rekick to replace original ball. No such replacement is available for what used to be called the earth’s moon, which Troy Van Blarcom’s kickoff has split in twain with horrifying force. Entire nation of India breaks into chorus of “Fight On” out of mixed awe, fear and respect.

–Kickoff is fielded cleanly by a woman in the third row of the stands. As she catches it, her chronic painful sciatica miraculously heals, and her tears of joy make daisies sprout from the cracks in the concrete as they hit the pavement.

–Texas runs their first play: a play-action qb option play with Limas Sweed running wild and wide open behind the Trojan secondary…who catches the ball and is immediately struck by lightning, evaporating into a pile of fine ashes on contact. Two quick runs and Texas punts cleanly to a waiting Reggie Bush, who calls a fair catch.

–Reggie Bush then scores on a 63 yard return…with his mind.

–Texas gets the ball again on a kick, but fumbles when Frostee Rucker, sitting on the sidelines, points his hand in the direction of the ballcarrier, wiggles his fingers and wrinkles his philtrum side to side a la Samantha in Bewitched. In a comfortable Tudor home in suburban Connecticut, Gladys Kravitz shakes her head and thinks that she just knows something isn’t right about that Rucker boy.

Gladys Kravitz just knew there was something about that Rucker boy.

–The Texas returner instantly fumbles the ball into the waiting hands of backup TE Fred Davis, who scores a touchdown and celebrates by knitting a perfectly formed red and gold beanie in 3.4 seconds flat. As he tosses the beanie in the stands, it turns into a dove and flies to Palestine, where peace reigns for the first time in recorded history.

–In response, the Texas ball carrier thanks Rucker for mercy, and offers his rump to Rucker in a display of animal submission. Rucker declines, saying that while Frostee Rucker may sing about love, he cannot actually feel love…for steel has no heart. The entire Texas bench breaks into tears upon hearing this, and Limas Sweed leaps from the top of the Rose Bowl to his death in sympathy.

–Texas drives sixty yards on the ensuing possession, but only because USC’s defense is now sitting on the sidelines on their thrones of gold, celebrating their already certain victory by throwing fistfuls of doubloons into the crowd and occasionally stopping to make fierce but tender love to the women of the crowd. Each one of them makes sweet perfect love to a degree you cannot possibly hope to equal, and each woman immediately takes vows of chastity afterward, swearing that life has given them all it could offer and they can want no more. (You know, kind of like Prince’s ex-girlfriends all do.)

–In place of the USC defense, the band plays a fine series, mixing in zone blitzes with a cover 2 scheme that contains Vince Young with a spy on third down, in this instance a second year biochem major who plays flute. She makes an amazing open-field tackle on Young on 3rd and goal, and Longhorns settle for a field goal.

Should do a fine job once the game ends in the first quarter.

–On the kickoff, Reggie Bush takes a knee, but only to show his infinite mercy and goodness to the Longhorns. In gratitude, the Longhorns build a golden calf and offer it to Reggie, who graciously takes the calf, melts it down with his bare hands, and sells it on the open market for a profit he immediately donates to the well-run charity of his choice.

–Matt Leinart takes the first snap, goes play action, and throws a line drive through the chest of corner Cedric Griffin to Dwayne Jarrett for a ten yard completion. As Jarrett streaks to the endzone, Griffin begs for assistance. Leinart declines, saying that Bush is the merciful God, while he is the vengeful one. Bush laughs, puts down his chalice of mead, and heals Griffin while having sex with Vince Young’s mother.

And that’s how the first quarter should go.

I'm in tears. I love "Reggie Bush then scores on a 63 yard return…with his mind."

[Vegas Vic]

I'm just thankful that HornsManiac isn't around here anymore. I can't even begin to imagine what kind of Longhorn post count we'd have to endure from him these past few weeks.

Huckleberry and Senator are good guys, considering they're Longhorn fans. Even IMetTrentGreen has some good qualities (OK, that might be a stretch).

[vtbub]

Would you believe 56-53?

http://smart-guys-sports.com/2005_te...alifornia.html

[Galaxy]

What is the weather going to be during the game?

[Karlifornia]

I think it was in the 70's and clear down there today...

[Huckleberry]

Texas moneyline now down to +175

[Joe]

Texas wins 6-3 in a defensive struggle

[st.cronin]

When did Texas move to the Big 10?

[Senator]

Guys. For once, I am a little nervous. My entire life has been spent watching the other teams have a chance at the championship, and I get older and older and older. It feels really strange knowing we are going for the whole enchilada instead of a Holiday Bowl or Cotton Bowl win.

Vince Young, hear my pleas.

[Senator]

Originally Posted by vtbub

Would you believe 56-53?

http://smart-guys-sports.com/2005_te...alifornia.html

That would be a fun game to watch. Since I know how it ends.

[cartman]

Originally Posted by Senator

Guys. For once, I am a little nervous. My entire life has been spent watching the other teams have a chance at the championship, and I get older and older and older. It feels really strange knowing we are going for the whole enchilada instead of a Holiday Bowl or Cotton Bowl win.

Vince Young, hear my pleas.

Ditto.

My freshman year at UT was the last time they went into a bowl game with any kind of a chance to win the NC. Ranked #3, but then got pasted by Miami 49-3.

[sterlingice]

This intro hurts my brain.

SI

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Baby Rahn was saying Hook Em Horns only hours after he was born.

[cartman]

The Rahn spawn is wise beyond his months.

[kingfc22]

Let's get it on!!!!

Go SC

[st.cronin]

Will Ferrell > Mathew McCaughnahey

[Ben E Lou]

Originally Posted by st.cronin

Will Ferrell > Mathew McCaughnahey

You have GOT to be kidding me. MM came across like a real man, strong voice, a longhorn steer, no glitz and glamour. Ferrell was weak, with that whiney voice.

[sterlingice]

Well, Ferrell always comes off as dumber than a stump, tho: that guy who was always drunk and partying in college and never grew up.

SI

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by SkyDog

You have GOT to be kidding me. MM came across like a real man, strong voice, a longhorn steer, no glitz and glamour. Ferrell was weak, with that whiney voice.

I know Ferrell actually went and graduated from USC (not of these jump-on-the-wagon type fans), did MM go to Texas, or is he just from Texas?

[st.cronin]

Originally Posted by SkyDog

You have GOT to be kidding me. MM came across like a real man, strong voice, a longhorn steer, no glitz and glamour. Ferrell was weak, with that whiney voice.

MM = pretty boy

WF = MY idea of a real man

Maybe I'm an odd duck, but the best part of any day in my life is making my girl laugh.

[illinifan999]

Originally Posted by SkyDog

You have GOT to be kidding me. MM came across like a real man, strong voice, a longhorn steer, no glitz and glamour. Ferrell was weak, with that whiney voice.

what's that i have a heisman in my ear?

[Ben E Lou]

Originally Posted by st.cronin

MM = pretty boy

WF = MY idea of a real man

Maybe I'm an odd duck, but the best part of any day in my life is making my girl laugh.

You gotta be kidding me. MM would kick his tail. Easily.

[Ben E Lou]

Originally Posted by illinifan999

what's that i have a heisman in my ear?

Exactly. Smart-aleck trash talk against a guy who is bigger than strong than you gets that Heisman stuck up your tail.

[sterlingice]

I'm gonna have to take the hick versus the village idiot in a fight. Ferrell seems like one of those who would run and hide in a corner at the first sign of a fight. Then again, McCona- him- he'd probably do it fairly quickly, too.

SI

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Originally Posted by st.cronin

Will Ferrell > Mathew McCaughnahey

You're insane. Will Ferrell not hittable. Soooooo not hittable.

Mathew McCaughnahey hittable and then some.

[MrBug708]

Texas just deferred?

Oh my, they are more stupid then I thought....

[kingfc22]

I'll go crazy if Bush takes this to the house.

[Mustang]

I hate pre-game crap...

[st.cronin]

Originally Posted by SkyDog

You gotta be kidding me. MM would kick his tail. Easily.

What does that have to do with anything? MM has been entertaining for about 11 minutes. Ferrell is probably one of the ten funniest men in America right now.

[Ben E Lou]

Originally Posted by st.cronin

What does that have to do with anything? MM has been entertaining for about 11 minutes. Ferrell is probably one of the ten funniest men in America right now.

No idea who that little chump was. Never seen him before. MM, on the other hand, stood toe-to-toe with Keifer and the Klan.

[MrBug708]

WEll, that paid off

[MrBug708]

Dola

Or not

[kingfc22]

FUMBLE!!!

[st.cronin]

ok, well I don't think this will be controversial:

USC cheerleaders > UT cheerleaders

[MrBug708]

USC doesnt have cheerleaders

[cthomer5000]

That fumble really sucked.

[kingfc22]

Put it in the endzone.

[Ben E Lou]

Dang, that was a vicious hit.