It sucks to be Scott Stapp...

[TLK]

Who's your favorite faux Christian ex-rock star?
"So how did your last night in Gainesville go?" you curiously ask. "Sit down and let me tell you the tale of the best night of my life," I anxiously reply.

Lead Singer of Creed Gets Punk'd

Friday, July 29. My last night in Gainesville. I've had my party and said my goodbyes to most of my friends. One group actually didn't make it to the party, but were possibly still coming, and instead of having them walk into an empty house (literally-- no furniture) devoid of people, I went over to their place.

So I'm saying goodbye to pals Jeanine and Heather. They have a few friends over to their place and are already stoned and drunk, seemingly ready for bed quite soon. I hear mumbling in the other room of some kids leaving soon because they have to go see Scott Stapp. My pop culture radar is not currently on, so I'm missing the reference. Instead, I think they're just talking about a friend who's driving in from out of town. But they're quite adamant about seeing Scott. "I'm fucking walking to Denny's to see Scott if I have to, I don't care if no one else goes!" one kid says.

So I'm curious and ask one of the guys what's going on. He tells me the background story: Apparently, one of their friends met Scott Stapp (who, because I find no problem with conflation, will for the rest of the story be referred to as "Creed") at an airport bar and the girl pretended to be interested. At the end of their conversation, he asked for her number and because she was going to Amsterdam, she gave Creed her friend's number instead. The girl then calls her friend and warns her that Creed might be calling her sometime in the future for a hook-up.

Which he does. Friday night. He flew into Orlando and gave the girl a call. The girl, thrilled at the prospect of making Creed look like an idiot, plays along. "You should drive up to Gainesville tonight to see me!" she says. Creed, because his star has fallen quite a bit recently (if you hadn't noticed) eagerly accepts the offer to drive 2 hours to get some pussy. I guess the groupies aren't lining up outside the airport like they used to.

I heard through the grapevine that night that Creed had actually kicked Scott Stapp out of their band. I don't know if this is true or not as no one on the Internet has any stories about it. But I googled him recently and found out that his solo career isn't taking off nearly like he expected, despite being the first released single off the Passion of the Christ Songs CD-- songs inspired by the movie. Mel Gibson hand picked him for a special screening, and he wrote a song after he was so personally affected by the movie. Douche.

Anyway, so the guy who was so spiritually affected by The Passion of the Christ is now hightailing it to Gainesville to tag a piece of ass he met in an airport bar. And he's having his ghettotastic hootchie skanky Jersey girl sleaze of a sister drive him. Yes, Creed is making his sister drive him to the Gainesville Denny's for a booty call.

So this group from the party makes it over to Denny's, strategically choosing places all around the Denny's so that we can watch what goes down. It's 3am on a Friday, so of course the place is packed with drunk kids getting out of the bars, who have no idea what they're about to be in for. Jeanine, Heather, and I all have prime seating-- we're directly next to the booth with the girl who has been talking to Creed, as well as her 5 friends who are all in on the joke and have been planning extra embarrassing things to do to him. The girl who is keeping track of him via cell phone convos lets me know that Creed has been in fine form so far tonight. Here is how one of the conversations went:

Creed: "Do you have an accoustic guitar with you in Gainesville?"
Her: "Um, yeah."
Creed: "Good, maybe you can help me write my new hit single!"
Me, after hearing the story: "I applaud your ability not to vomit at that."

Now we're convinced he's on his way. We hear the countdown from the table next to us: "He's in Micanopy!" "He's passing UF!" "He's pulling into the parking lot!" The excitement is killing me. And then he enters. Creed steps into the Gainesville Denny's, wearing a wife beater and slick running pants, desperately trying to find his hookup. My life is complete.

The girl who's been talking on the phone with Creed has a friend who recently broke his arm. So as soon as Creedy walks in, he screams, "Oh my god! You're Scott Stapp! You're my favorite singer ever! Sign my cast!" Creed, probably even himself realizing how sucky it is to be the (former) lead singer of Creed, denies it. "I get that a lot... I just look like him. I'm not him." HA!

Then the Denny's cop comes over: "Both of you, outta here! No screaming in Denny's! Manager's orders!" Delicious. The lead singer of Creed is getting kicked out of the Gainesville Denny's.

Cast arm boy obviously doesn't want our fun to be over so quickly, so he sweet talks the cop and gets him to rescind his ejection. Creedy keeps walking around, trying to find the girl he talked to in the airport bar, feverishly running to the back to get better cell phone reception and then moving back to the front to try to find her. Of course, the girl has stopped answering her phone now and the Denny's partrons are just watching Creed walk around looking desperately horny.

And the best part is watching the other people as they notice who this guy is. "Hey, that's the Creed guy!" they all say as he walks past them. Then, 5 seconds later and as soon as he's out of earshot: "Wait, who cares? Creed sucks!" This is seriously the reaction of every table that I hear as he walks by. So sad, for him. Oh, and the dude is like 5'6". I'm not joking. When he walked by, he was at least (AT LEAST) 3 inches shorter than me. Midget.

Now there are about 12 people who know about what's going on. And like the rats in Muppets Take Manhattan who run around under the tables at that fancy restuarant spreading the buzz that Manhattan Melodies is going to be a smash hit show, we start spreading the ruse that has been pulled on Creed. Soon, most of the tables and the wait staff is informed of what's going on. "Pathetic!" is the most common reaction.

To keep him there as long as possible, groups of girls keep going over to him and flirting and trying to find out what he's doing in Gainesville. Cast arm boy even printed out Scott Stapp's headshot and goes over to ask him to sign it. You'd think that would be an obvious sign that he was being tricked, but apparently Creed is cocky enough to think that people regularly carry around his photograph everywhere like it's an American Express card.

Jeanine, perfect brilliant girl she is, ran over to the juke box to see if it happened to have a Creed song on it. Unfortunately, it didn't. Or maybe fortunately. For if "Arms Wide Open" began playing as he was running around the Denny's, I probably would've soiled myself laughing.

At the end of the night, we convince Jeanine to go ask to take a picture with Creed by saying it was her birthday (it was, only 4 days earlier). When she goes to get the picture, all 12 of us who are in on the joke jump in the photo. Unfortunately, the person taking the picture couldn't work the flash, so it just looks like a mess of clumpy dark blobs. But I know that one girl took a bunch of pictures of Creed running around the Denny's-- mostly of the back of his head-- and I want them. If anyone knows where to get these, let me know.

So that was my last night in Gainesville. Creed eventually got back in his car and drove home to Orlando, having unsuccessfully found his pussy for the night. What a sad sad man. Super douche.

hxxp://www.livejournal.com/users/tomluv/13923.html

If nothing else... this is a pretty good laugh.

[k0ruptr]

what a bunch of assholes.

[jeff061]

Who Creed? Yeah, they suck.

[Fouts]

I met Elvis the other day at Red Lobster.

[Sun Tzu]

I'm with k0ruptr on this one. What a bunch of asshats. Why would so many people go so out of their way to ruin the night of a person they've never met?

[PilotMan]

weak

[stevew]

Originally Posted by Sun Tzu

I'm with k0ruptr on this one. What a bunch of asshats. Why would so many people go so out of their way to ruin the night of a person they've never met?

Perhaps they were still bitter about hearing Arms Wide Open for that whole summer?

[Schmidty]

Those people need to get a life.

[BigJohn&TheLions]

Originally Posted by Fouts

I met Elvis the other day at Red Lobster.

What was Grbac doing? Manager? Bus boy?

[Deattribution]

I don't get it, besides being assholes, where's the funny part?


Because he's a 'celebrity' he's suppose to be devoid of any feelings, personal life or dates?

[Swaggs]

The funny thing is that it was probably some guy that looks slightly like Creed that was trying to get some ass in an airport.

[CamEdwards]

I never liked Creed, but these guys are assholes. And quite frankly, I'm not convinced it ever happened.

[NoMyths]

Originally Posted by CamEdwards

I never liked Creed, but these guys are assholes. And quite frankly, I'm not convinced it ever happened.

I'd say it's pretty certain it never happened. All those kids and no digital photos? Snooch.

[Lathum]

Sounds like bullshit to me.

[TLK]

here are the photos....

hxxp://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Scott_Stapp_punked

[jeff061]

There is being assholes by screwing with celebrities and then there is screwing with Scott Stapp. Stapp's a dick.

[Lathum]

Those pictures could be from anywhere. I still say it's bullshit.

[Chubby]

i love how if there were video cameras there with Ashton then it'd be friggin hilarious but since there wasn't then the kids that did are dicks? oooooooooook...

it's not hilarious but is kinda funny.

[Easy Mac]

I think its the lack of actualy proof. So Stapp went to a Dennys and some kids took a picture... ok. great!

Here's the girls account, ultra-believable:

I was actually the girl who was goading him into coming up to Gainesville. I have pictures from the night and I'll post them soon. I was actually going to recount the tale on here but haven't had the chance.
(I still plan on calling him up and saying - "You were Punk'd!!!")
(Oh...and I'd like to post his phone number on here, but I'm sure that's not allowed.)

You're right about most of what you said in your post, only there are a few discrepancies.

1. He met my friend in an airport bar IN Orlando. He was kicked out of the bar for drinking too much and later kicked off of his plane for being disorderly. He, being completely self absorbed, didn't stop to think that the girl he met in the airport bar might, just might, have boarded a plane already. When he called my cell phone, thinking it was her, he couldn't understand why "she" was not still in Orlando. That's where the fun began.

2. He did not leave after being punk'd at Denny's. It was not until the following morning did he realize he had been tricked. He made me and my friend drive him to where the girl supposedly lived to look for her (his ego was hurt THAT badly.)

3. Someone followed us from Denny's (an ACTUAL fan of his) and Scott had him make purchase of some cocaine for him. I, thinking I could rob him, invited him back up to my apartment. His sister got a hotel room after being angry all night...apparently she was much smarter than he. All I got the chance to take was his boarding pass from his Miami to Orlando flight, some of his klonopin, three copies of checks his girlfriend had written from his account -2 for plastic surgery centers in South Florida and one for their Cingular Wireless account, and a song book he had scribbled some instrumental instructions in.
He ended up staying up all night doing coke, making up listening to his fucking HORRIBLE cd, and walking around in his underware claiming that coke makes him "so horny".

4. He had a prescription to Lexapro (an antidepressant) in his bag.

5. He was the most annoying self centered troll man I have ever met in my life.

6. My friend (my roommate) is actually mad at me for punking him. Everyone on this list should reply here stating why she has no reason in the world to be mad. Scott Stapp is a fucking bitch.

I'll post more details and pictures of the night later.

Anyhow, glad to know it was appreciated by everyone. I actually didn't think that many people knew. I thought he had some actual fans there that night.

[Schmidty]

Originally Posted by smash-head

this is in response to pinmeup's (livejournal) blog about how she and her friends 'punked' Stapp

A has been rock star with a drug problem, wow, earthshattering news. I hope she is enjoying this, because baby, this is it, this her 15 minutes of fame. It will never get any better than this for her. 10 years from now, if anyone remembers her at all, it will be that she was the idiot whose socail life was so full that the best she and her friends could do for entertainment was to punk some 'has been' and spend hours setting up a blog about it afterward. That and the fact that she is a self confessed thief. From here, the best she can hope for is a crummy middle management job and a lifetime trying to pay off her credit card bills. 10 years from now, Stapp will still be a pathetic has been. But he will still have millions in the bank, a hugely successful career behind him that allowed him to travel all the places in the world she will never see, his face on all the magazines she paid to see him in. Who's more pathetic? A has been rocker trying to get some action, or a bunch of morons whose best idea of entertainment is hanging out at Denny's. Bunch of losers.

I think most people realized the above.

The fact that someone signed up just to post a "moral-spanking" makes me slightly less sorry for Stapp. Oh, and I'm a Christian. One who thinks Creed stinks, but still a Christian.

[ThunderingHERD]

Originally Posted by smash-head

this is in response to pinmeup's (livejournal) blog about how she and her friends 'punked' Stapp

A has been rock star with a drug problem, wow, earthshattering news. I hope she is enjoying this, because baby, this is it, this her 15 minutes of fame. It will never get any better than this for her. 10 years from now, if anyone remembers her at all, it will be that she was the idiot whose socail life was so full that the best she and her friends could do for entertainment was to punk some 'has been' and spend hours setting up a blog about it afterward. That and the fact that she is a self confessed thief. From here, the best she can hope for is a crummy middle management job and a lifetime trying to pay off her credit card bills. 10 years from now, Stapp will still be a pathetic has been. But he will still have millions in the bank, a hugely successful career behind him that allowed him to travel all the places in the world she will never see, his face on all the magazines she paid to see him in. Who's more pathetic? A has been rocker trying to get some action, or a bunch of morons whose best idea of entertainment is hanging out at Denny's. Bunch of losers.

WTF?!?!

Did anyone actually believed that story in the first place?

[cartman]

You see... there are three kinds of people in this world...

Pussies, dicks, and assholes.

Pussies don't like dicks, because all they want to do is fuck pussies, even at times when it is inappropriates.

But dicks also fuck assholes. And if dicks don't fuck assholes, then pussies themselves run the risk of becoming full of shit, because they are only an inch and a half away.

What does this have to go with Creed and their ilk? I'm not sure, but this was well worth mentioning late on a Saturday night.

[TroyF]

I'm one of the idiots who actually liked Creed. I thought Stapp was an eccentric prick, but what the hell, I liked the music. And when I like someones music, I'm not one of the millions of people who say they can't stand the group and then buy the albums. Hell, I'm a fan and I fully believe Scott would be that desperate and stupid. I think the guy has mental problems. (and if you ever see what he went through as a kid, we all probably would have had problems. Making some crappy music and having an ego would probably have been the least of my worries)

But no matter what my opinion of Creed, these people were just idiots. They all better hope that when the day comes they happen to be down on their luck, they either get the people who are apathetic or the people trying to help. Not people who want to kick them.

[Draft Dodger]

it would have been funnier if it had been, well, funny.

[GreenMonster]

Here is my Creed story. During ACC basketball weekend at the Georgia Dome, Creed was playing at the Tabernacle in Atlanta. Creed had tried to get a spot at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse but they had a long wait. They were told the wait would be over an hour, to which Scott Stapp replied "don't you know who I am why can't we be seated right away."

[ThunderingHERD]

This is my Creed story: I use "Creed" as a synonym for shitty music. My disbelief of this story was in no way a vote for Creed, but rather a vote for pessimism and against the common exisitance of succh beautiful irony.

[Karlifornia]

If you can find Dave Grohl's cover of "With Arms Wide Open", it's worth a download. It's hi-larious.

[sterlingice]

Why the thread necromancy?

SI

[Subby]

I always thought Creed's Behind the Music episode was oddly timed. Why make a Behind the Music for a band that has one or two albums? Huge karma deficit creation there.

I always thought Staap had a nice voice, though.

And if a has-been rock star drug addict can't go trolling late night at Deny's for snatch, then we might as well suspend habeus corpus and eat the constitution.

Or something.

[Huckleberry]

Those livejournal entries should be retitled "How to prove you're an even more worthless loser than Scott Stapp"

[Butter]

Eh, it's a college town, what else is there to do? This kind of thing registers pretty weakly on my "moral outrage" scale.

[gottimd]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11396775/

[JeeberD]

Plus the fact that he got married and arrested in the same day earlier in the week...

[Arctus]

The news comes just five days after Stapp was arrested for public intoxication while trying to board a plane at Los Angeles International Airport. The singer was married a day earlier, in Miami, to Jaclyn Nesheiwat, who is a former Miss New York and the director of public affairs for the Scott Stapp Foundation, which promotes healthy parent-child relationships.

Dude must be having one of the all time worst Honeymoon's known to man.

[Ksyrup]

I'm sorry, but the article headline, "KID ROCK, SCOTT STAPP Sex Tape to Hit Stores?" is one of the greatest things I've ever read.

[gottimd]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

I'm sorry, but the article headline, "KID ROCK, SCOTT STAPP Sex Tape to Hit Stores?" is one of the greatest things I've ever read.

Joseph says his attempts to contact Rock and Stapp, who do not engage in sex acts with each other on the tape, have so far been unsuccessful. “This wasn’t just shot by one person --there were a lot of people holding the camera,” he says. “Because of that, it’s not necessary that we need (Rock and Stapp) to sign off on this. We left messages for them but they didn’t respond, so maybe they didn’t take it seriously.”.

Lucky them, that is probably wha tmost people are thinking when they read the title of the article.

[Ksyrup]

You can tell the title was written that way (and other variations I've read are the same way) on purpose, because the author felt it necessary to set the record straight in the middle of the article. Ha!

[JeeberD]

Here's a pretty much work safe preview of the video...

hxxp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmSAtuTYcc8&search=kid%20rock

[gottimd]

Thats the same preview they have on those noted sites in the article.

[JeeberD]

You assume I read the article...

[Subby]

please tell that wasn't Kid Rock's barely concealed erection

[Raven Hawk]

My favorite Scott Stapp story is when he got beat down by 311 this last Thanksgiving.