Grieving 9/11 Widow Spends Almost $5 Million

[Galaxy]

Grieving 9/11 Widow Spends Almost $5 Million

http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/news/art...S00010000000001

Grieving 9/11 Widow Spends Almost $5 Million
Kathy Trant Says She Wanted to Rid Herself of 'Blood Money'

Widow Spends Almost $5 Million

(June 13) - When her husband died in the attacks on the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001, relatives, friends and strangers opened their hearts and their wallets to Kathy Trant, donating millions of dollars to Trant and her three children.

The money was meant to compensate for the income Dan Trant would have used to support his family for years to come. But to Trant it represented blood money, money that couldn't make up for what she had lost.

Fewer than four years after the attacks, she has blown through most of the money, and is coming out with her story now to warn others against the trappings of chronic spending, a major problem among Americans.

"It's blood money that I don't want," Trant said. "I want my husband back."

After her husband's funeral, Kathy Trant spiraled into deeper and deeper circles of depression. She turned to alcohol and antidepressants to numb the pain, and her weight fluctuated between 90 and 170 pounds.

But as she managed to get one set of problems under control, another problem emerged. Trant started spending out of control.

At the time of his death, Dan Trant, 40, was quickly moving up the ladder as a bond trader at Cantor Fitzgerald, making $130,000 in addition to tens of thousands in bonuses in his final year. Based on his estimated future earnings, the Federal Victim Compensation Fund awarded Kathy Trant $4.2 million, of which she received half. She got another $3 million from friends and family.

"I didn't know how to give back because so many people gave to me when I lost my husband," Trant said.

Trant began lavishing gifts on friends and family. She gave her former housekeeper $15,000 to buy a home in El Salvador, she spent $70,000 to take six friends to the Super Bowl and another $30,000 for a trip for 20 to the Bahamas.

She said Dan would have wanted to help others, and he would have also liked to improve their home as well. So Trant spent $1.5 million to nearly triple the size of her suburban New York home. She spent $350,000 on the back yard, installing a full basketball court also equipped for volleyball, tennis and Rollerblading, a heated pool and a hot tub.

Trant designed a shrine of her husband's mementos, and put it on display in her new red-white-and-blue den. She added sports memorabilia to her walls, including a Boston Celtics ball autographed by players. Dan was drafted last by the Celtics in 1984t, and though he never played for them, he played professionally in Ireland.

Trant also blew millions on frivolous items for herself. Her walk-in closet houses a $500,000 shoe collection, gowns by Versace and Capelli that go for $5,000 each and Fendi and Judith Leiber handbags, also $5,000 per bag.

Experts says overspending is not uncommon among the families of 9/11 victims, nor is it limited to one group of people. A Stanford University study estimates that 8 percent of Americans, or 23.6 million people, suffer from compulsive shopping disorder.

"The issue of survival guilt is a big one," said April Lane Benson, psychologist and author of the book "I Shop Therefore I Am." "People who lost someone on 9/11 feel a total lack of control for a long period of time. That's why they say, 'I might as well blow everything I have. I could be the next one to go.'"

Benson said it is important for shopaholics to recognize the triggers that start the spending sprees, such as certain moods or specific times of the year.

"For [Trant] it might be, 'If I keep shopping, I won't have to feel deeply the loss of my husband,'" Benson said.

Trant is down to her last $500,000. A stay-at-home mom for the last 20 years, she and a friend are opening a hair-removal and cosmetic tattoo shop in East Norwich, Conn.

While Trant worries about her future, she insists it's not about the money. She is concerned now with helping other chronic shoppers, and hopes her children will learn from her mistakes when they receive $800,000 earmarked for them when they turn 18.

"It's a problem people laugh at," Trant said. "When you have alcoholism or drug addiction, it's all a different story."




Found this interesting. Your thoughts?

[hhiipp]

Having a real hard time feeling sorry for someone who blew thru 5 million in 4 years. A lot of people could have made that 5 million last generations, but not her, because she has a spending problem. Blah.

And shop-a-holics? Give me a break, this is just some woman who has likely never worked since she got out of highschool who came into some money and didn't stop to think about the future.

[CHEMICAL SOLDIER]

The friends are vultures I bet.....Did she ever think about her kids financial future? and I wonder If her friend will hel-p her out in times of financial troubles?

[Danny]

Kids get 800k when they turn 18, so they should still be taken care of for College and beyond.

[rkmsuf]

If you are her wouldn't you just keep quiet and move on? What is this publicity for the tatoo shop or something?

[hhiipp]

Originally Posted by CHEMICAL SOLDIER

The friends are vultures I bet.....Did she ever think about her kids financial future? and I wonder If her friend will hel-p her out in times of financial troubles?

Originally Posted by Original Post

the Federal Victim Compensation Fund awarded Kathy Trant $4.2 million, of which she received half. She got another $3 million from friends and family.

She already got 3 million out of them, how much more help could she possibly ask for or expect at this point?

[CHEMICAL SOLDIER]

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

If you are her wouldn't you just keep quiet and move on? What is this publicity for the tatoo shop or something?

Sounds like all the meat from the cash cow is gone, so it's time for sympathy money.

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by CHEMICAL SOLDIER

Sounds like all the meat from the cash cow is gone, so it's time for sympathy money.

I'm not getting a sympathy vibe from that when they itemize all the stuff.

[hhiipp]

Can you post a working link to this story?

[Raiders Army]

"It's blood money that I don't want," Trant said. "I want my husband back."

Weird statement to make. Sounds like she's trying to rationalize spending all of the money.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

It's her money, she can spend it as she wishes.

[rkmsuf]

She ever heard of the finger in the chili trick?

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by Farrah Whitworth-Rahn

It's her money, she can spend it as she wishes.

Right but don't go to the press telling us about it.

[Raiders Army]

Originally Posted by Farrah Whitworth-Rahn

It's her money, she can spend it as she wishes.

I agree, yet I think we can be a little judgmental since she didn't actually earn that money.

[JonInMiddleGA]

RA - A little? Hell, I can be a lot judgemental on this one, as some 42% of the Federal Victim Compensation Fund was comprised of tax dollars.

http://usgovinfo.about.com/od/defens.../randon911.htm

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Originally Posted by Raiders Army

I agree, yet I think we can be a little judgmental since she didn't actually earn that money.

You can be judgemental regardless of how she earned, or did not earn this money. But is it really any of our business how she spent her money? Once that money (some tax dollars btw) was given to her, we stopped having any say in the matter.

That's more the point I'm trying to make.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Dola - the way this article is written, I get the impression the author was aiming for outrage at this woman. But that's just my take.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Farrah, except in that by highlighting situations like these, we may be able to prevent future tax dollars by going toward "Funds" like these (I've always been opposed to the way this was handled, IMO it should have been dealt with through existing channels such as FEMA).

While tragic, these deaths are no more or less tragic on an individual basis than others than occur at the hands of murderers every day.

[Mustang]

You know, if she was trying to rid herself of 'blood' money by spending on other people and in some way trying to help others out that helped her.. hmm, I could muster the sympathy..

But.. 500K in shoes? umm.. that killed it for me.

[Raiders Army]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Farrah, except in that by highlighting situations like these, we may be able to prevent future tax dollars by going toward "Funds" like these (I've always been opposed to the way this was handled, IMO it should have been dealt with through existing channels such as FEMA).

While tragic, these deaths are no more or less tragic on an individual basis than others than occur at the hands of murderers every day.

I agree completely.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Farrah, except in that by highlighting situations like these, we may be able to prevent future tax dollars by going toward "Funds" like these (I've always been opposed to the way this was handled, IMO it should have been dealt with through existing channels such as FEMA).

I can't really argue with that. And supporters of these funds will highlight those families who were more responsible with their cash.

FTR - I also disagreed with tax dollars going towards funds like these. And I strongly disagreed with the way the funds were dispursed under FVCF. IMHO, It penalized families that were responsible and planned for the financial future of their survivors, and rewarded those who did not. Judging by the amount of money this woman was awarded, I'm thinking she was in the latter group.

[tategter]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Farrah, except in that by highlighting situations like these, we may be able to prevent future tax dollars by going toward "Funds" like these (I've always been opposed to the way this was handled, IMO it should have been dealt with through existing channels such as FEMA).

While tragic, these deaths are no more or less tragic on an individual basis than others than occur at the hands of murderers every day.

Exactly my thinking. Other than being related to someone who was killed on worldwide television, why did these people recieve millions of my tax dollars?

[JonInMiddleGA]

Why? Because it was politically expedient to do so.

[Subby]

I really empathize with this woman. Grief and loss can cause you to do some ridiculous things - things you never would have even remotely considered before the event in question. That kind of stuff can spiral, which is what looks like happened in this case.

New money + intense grief = bad news.

[Ksyrup]

Originally Posted by Raiders Army

Weird statement to make. Sounds like she's trying to rationalize spending all of the money.

I thought so, too. I thought from that statement and the tone of the story, she had money she wanted to give away. I mean, none of us want our money - we would rather have the thing we just exchanged it for!

"I don't want that blood money...but those shoes are awfully nice. I'll trade ya."

[Tigercat]

Its because we make families of the actual victims of crimes into the real victims. Have you been victimized in some nature if you lose a loved one because of a crime? Sure, but you as the family aren't THE victim, the one that is lost is the victim. Yet we go way out of our way(beyond what is necessary, IMO) to adjust the way we help dispense justice to meet the needs and desires of these extended victims. It is prudent to ensure that these 9/11 families had enough money to get by with and live comfortably after the loss of their loved ones. But millions and millions of dollars? The lady in that article is right in that all the money by itself doesn't do any good.

But if this lady is so inclined to look down on this money, why didn't she turn it from "blood money" into something useful, like giving it to a charity? At least you could make the world a slightly better place as a result of what your loved one went through. Instead you buy material crap? Crazy.

[Cringer]

I see someone getting hold of her now and getting her a book deal, maybe a T.V. mini-series. She could also do some speaking engagements every year, talking about the traps of money while earning more..... Good reason to go public and then try to claim you are now straighten out and realize all the bad that you have done.

[ISiddiqui]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Why? Because it was politically expedient to do so.

Yep... no one will vote against something 'for the victims of 9/11'.

[KevinNU7]

She should sell her house, crazy ass bitch

[Maple Leafs]

I understand the idea of compensation for victims, especially for something like 9/11.

But given that she was getting $2M from the government, why exactly did her friends feel the need to kick in another $3M on top of that?

[hhiipp]

I wish I had enough friends and family who could find it in their hearts to give me 3 million. I promise I'd attend every birthday party, anniversary, and family get together.

[Raiders Army]

Originally Posted by hhiipp

I wish I had enough friends and family who could find it in their hearts to give me 3 million. I promise I'd attend every birthday party, anniversary, and family get together.

If you find those people, tell them I'll do the same thing for two million.

[sterlingice]

Sounds like a woman trying to get more cash by getting on the talk show circuit.

SI

[Klinglerware]

I do feel sympathy for this woman, but the money could have been better spent on therapy...

[Karlifornia]

She should build an orphanage out of her $500,000 worth of shoes. Call it "Lost soles orphanage"

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by RadioFriendlyUnitShifter

She should build an orphanage out of her $500,000 worth of shoes. Call it "Lost soles orphanage"

Ow. Funny in a painful way, but still "ow".

SI

[Raiders Army]

Originally Posted by RadioFriendlyUnitShifter

She should build an orphanage out of her $500,000 worth of shoes. Call it "Lost soles orphanage"

OMG. That's frickin' great!

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by Tigercat

Its because we make families of the actual victims of crimes into the real victims. Have you been victimized in some nature if you lose a loved one because of a crime? Sure, but you as the family aren't THE victim, the one that is lost is the victim. Yet we go way out of our way(beyond what is necessary, IMO) to adjust the way we help dispense justice to meet the needs and desires of these extended victims. It is prudent to ensure that these 9/11 families had enough money to get by with and live comfortably after the loss of their loved ones. But millions and millions of dollars? The lady in that article is right in that all the money by itself doesn't do any good.

But if this lady is so inclined to look down on this money, why didn't she turn it from "blood money" into something useful, like giving it to a charity? At least you could make the world a slightly better place as a result of what your loved one went through. Instead you buy material crap? Crazy.

What the government should of done is waited a while before handing it out, where families are alittle less venerable and more in position to handle the money in a less emotional way. I am against public money for these funds. 9/11 was a terrible event, but I think we should of use this money towards things areas and people that truly needed it. If someone is killed in a car accident, does the government hand the family money? If someone is shot, does the government hand them millions of dollars? I just am not sure why we needed to give families millions of dollars. I though the point of the fund was to allow families to be able to supplent themselves until they can replace lost income and finance any funeral/burial, medical, therpacial arrangements?

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Galaxy

I though the point of the fund was to allow families to be able to supplent themselves until they can replace lost income ...

Well, that's part of the reason the amounts are so high ... there were a lot of fairly high income workers killed on 9/11. There's really not much way to "replace lost income" in situations like this.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by Galaxy

(June 13)

But as she managed to get one set of problems under control, another problem emerged. Trant started spending out of control.

Experts says overspending is not uncommon among the families of 9/11 victims, nor is it limited to one group of people. A Stanford University study estimates that 8 percent of Americans, or 23.6 million people, suffer from compulsive shopping disorder.

Benson said it is important for shopaholics to recognize the triggers that start the spending sprees, such as certain moods or specific times of the year.

"For [Trant] it might be, 'If I keep shopping, I won't have to feel deeply the loss of my husband,'" Benson said.

"It's a problem people laugh at," Trant said. "When you have alcoholism or drug addiction, it's all a different story."

A complusive shopping disorder? I didn't realize it was actually "classified". I think half of Americans spend, spend, spend and are in debt. I've notice she didn't go out and start spending right away. I just have a hard time comparing shopping to a drug or alcoholic addition.

[oliegirl]

There are a lot of people who go on shopping sprees or binges when they are depressed. I am not justifying what she did, it sounds like she knew what she was doing and why, she just didn't get the help she needed - but it is a genuine problem for a lot of people.

[Suicane75]

Fuck her, anyone who spends $500,000 on shoes has no right to complain about it or try to evoke my sympathy. Fuck her. Ya know when it became a problem for her? When it was all almost gone, funny how that shit works. Fuck her.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

There are a lot of people who go on shopping sprees or binges when they are depressed. I am not justifying what she did, it sounds like she knew what she was doing and why, she just didn't get the help she needed - but it is a genuine problem for a lot of people.

Make senses. I just have mixed feelings on this case this. But not many people get $7+ million from loving family members and the taxpayers. Do you think family members would say, "Here's a million dollars, put it towards the bills and the kids"?, or no one would of notice her spending and would of said, "Honey, you should get some counciling" over the past four years?

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by Galaxy

"It's a problem people laugh at," Trant said. "When you have alcoholism or drug addiction, it's all a different story."

Because it is.

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

There are a lot of people who go on shopping sprees or binges when they are depressed. I am not justifying what she did, it sounds like she knew what she was doing and why, she just didn't get the help she needed - but it is a genuine problem for a lot of people.

(emphasis mine)

Right, depression is a genuine problem. Not "chronic shopping". It may be a symptom of something (like depression), but acting like shopping is an addiction equal to alcoholism or drug addiction is just absurd.

[Subby]

Why is it absurd?

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by sabotai

... but acting like shopping is an addiction equal to alcoholism or drug addiction is just absurd.

I disagree, at least from the standpoint of being a specific compulsive behavior.
It isn't chemical, as those are to a degree, but it seems clearly in the same category ... unless you'd rather generalize them all under the heading of "Compulsive Behavior Disorder".

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by sabotai

Because it is.

But to compare it to Alcoholism and Drug addiction?

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Subby

Why is it absurd?

Oh shit, me & Subby may be about to agree on something.

[oliegirl]

Originally Posted by sabotai

(emphasis mine)

Right, depression is a genuine problem. Not "chronic shopping". It may be a symptom of something (like depression), but acting like shopping is an addiction equal to alcoholism or drug addiction is just absurd.

You are right, it is a symptom, not a disease...but depression is a disease and from the article, it sounds like she was on medication but maybe didn't realize that she was using shopping as an outlet. Like I said, I can't justify her actions, but I also can't imagine the pain she has gone through - or anyone who lost a spouse in any circumstance. She did it, and it sounds like she regrets it, maybe she was just trying to do a good thing and make people aware that this can be a problem for people so if someone sees someone they know acting the same way they wont' just sit back and watch it happen.