A Super Weekend: Vince's trip to the Superbowl

[Vince]

This past weekend, I was offered the chance of a lifetime -- an all-expenses paid trip to the Super Bowl. The following is my not-so-brief attempt to recap the experience, which was absolutely phenomenal from beginning to end. Hopefully I can manage to work in some of the 400 pictures that my little brother and I took while we were in Jacksonville -- SOME of them turned out ok

[Vince]

Background Information -

The way this all worked out is kind of amazing -- talk about being in the right place at the right time.

My dad works for a car dealership, and they had a show to reveal some new technology they had developed. For the show, Clearchannel Communications decided to offer a Super Bowl Weekend package to be raffled off during the presentation. A young Vietnamese couple won the trip, and were really excited about it.

Two days later, they come back to the dealership and hand the whole prize package to my dad. "We don't want it." They calmly explain to an absolutely flabbergasted Vince Sr. (not his real name). "Give it to some of your friends or family! Or just sell it!" "We don't want to pay the tax on the trip. We don't want it." "...ok."

So my dad calls the Clearchannel guys and asks what to do with the trip. They tell him he needs to get it to someone else, and that he has 6 hours to get them the names of the two people -- Airport and Superbowl security is tight, so they had to get it done fast.

Vince Sr. walks into the owner of the store's office, and tells him "You're never going to believe this, but they didn't want the trip. Here -- take your wife."

The owner looks it over, is interested...but then remembers that his wife has plans for the weekend. "Nope, we can't go. Give it to someone...anyone you want."

My dad obviously immediately volunteers...the owner looks over the itinerary. "When would you be gone?" "Flight leaves Thursday, comes back Monday." "Never going to happen. You can't be out of the store for that long. Change the flight to Saturday, and you can go." After some brief negotiating by my dad, he gets the owner to relent a little and let him leave Friday. My dad immediately calls me up and gives me the news, over which I am obviously incredibly excited about. Then he goes to the computer to try to switch around the flight, and is having major problems doing so. Finally he finds one that is a complete red-eye flight with two different long layovers on the way -- but he's set. In between the negotiating and finding a flight and such, a few hours have passed, as he's had to work while arranging all this. He returns to the boss's office...

...only to be told "No, sorry, you can't go. I can't have you out of the store for that long. In fact, I don't want you to give the trip to anyone that works for us -- anyone but our employees." My dad is furious -- but there is nothing he can do. Sadly, he calls me to tell me the news that he cannot go -- but that I am still free to go and that I'll need to find someone as soon as possible so that they can change the name on the flights and such.

I was very disappointed that my dad couldn't go, but after some phone calls, I got my little brother to take some time off work, and we were going to make it to the Superbowl! Sadly, he couldn't get there until Saturday morning...but he would make it. Such a bittersweet feeling after what my dad had to deal with. Thinking, for a few hours, that you are going to the Superbowl, all-expenses-paid, only to have it taken away from you...ugh. I can't stand my dad's boss.

[Vince]

Thursday, February 3rd - We start our journey at 3 AM Pacific time, when I had to wake up to make it to my flight on time. I live in San Jose, and the flight was out of Oakland, departing at 6 AM. It's a little less than an hour drive to the airport out there, and I wanted to shower and such before I went.

So of course, I slept in a bit, and wasn't awake until 4. At which point I promptly rushed out of bed, threw on some clothes, and jumped in the car to make it to Oakland. I arrived there about 5:00 AM, found out that long-term parking (which my dad offered to pay, since he wouldn't wake up early enough to drive me there ) was going to cost about $100 -- $20 per day. I was a little bummed about that, even though I wasn't paying...but I wanted to make sure I was early enough for the flight, so I dealt with it. I approached the curbside check-in with a little trepidation; I was certain that it was at this point that they were going to tell me that something had gone wrong, I really hadn't won the tickets, and that I was a fool for thinking I had. Things went remarkably smoothly though. I checked my one bag, went through security, and turned on the iPod and Game Boy Advance while I waited for the plane at the gate. With two connections -- San Diego and Nashville -- before we arrived in Jacksonville, I got comfortable and didn't really move the whole time. The flights were rather uneventful, and I arrived in Jacksonville around 4 PM Eastern.

The airport was a zoo -- people everywhere with placards, live music in the airport, greeters doing a pretty good job of sounding sincere when welcoming you to Jacksonville. Because I'm a sucker for them, I had to buy a Cinnabon, and it was amazing, as always. I headed over to baggage claim, where I again, without incident, recovered my lone checked bag, and headed to the rental car agency...another point I was worried about things going wrong at. Things again went smoothly, and in no time at all, I was heading towards spot I-26 to find my rental car for the weekend. As I was walking down there, I noticed that there was a beatiful, red, new Mustang GT sitting in approximately the spot I was walking towards. I was thinking to myself "oh, no way. That would be amazing..." And then I noticed the stall number: I-25. With a grin at myself for getting my hopes up, I noticed next to the Mustang was a tiny blue Cavalier, which was to be my glorious chariot for the weekend. Also, being outside now, I noticed for the first time that it was raining. I headed to my hotel, the Best Western in Orange Park.

I check in, meet up with the folks from Clear Channel to get all my stuff, and find out I don't know where my seats are at the game until Sunday. I do, however, get a merchandise duffel bag, replete with Super Bowl football (plastic thing that is orange and blue with all kinds of logos on it -- perfect souvenir for a roommate or some such), bright orange hat with Super Bowl Logo (another great souvenir), and the real winner of the merchandise -- a black fleece vest with the logo on the breast. Some pretty cool stuff. As I walk over to the elevator, I start looking over the itinerary for the weekend some more. The elevator doors open, and I'm not really paying attention, so as I walk towards the now open elevator, the sole occupant almost runs me over -- he was checking his cell phone for something. I look up, apologize, and then stare in bewilderment...

"Is that...no, it couldn't be...it is! That's Jerry Rice!"

Turns out Jerry Rice is staying at the Best Western too...pretty crazy (especially because he's my second favorite athlete of all-time...behind the one and only Joe Montana, of course). Other famous guests at our hotel included John Rocker, Mike Alstott, Lee Evans and a former wrestler who I didn't recognize. Anyhow...with the rain on the first day, I decided to stay in, and some of the other guests and I got a little poker game in (going all-in with pocket 10s sucks when an Ace AND a King come on the flop). The game ended about 11:30, and I came into the lobby to notice that the Lakers were on. "Must be a replay," I thought aloud, and the two gentlemen in the lobby looked at me like I was insane. Realizing after my intelligent statement that I am now on the East coast, and that it was a perfectly logical 8:30 back where the game was being played, I was left to look stupid in front of Jerry Rice and what I would assume was his bodyguard. "Man, it's going to take some getting used to, this different time zone thing." Jerry turns to me and says "It's not so bad." Seeing as some of the other guys from the poker game were trying to get another game together, I thought I'd push my luck in the conversation with a superstar gig. "Either of you two want to play some poker? We're trying to get another game of hold 'em together..." They both look at me, Jerry laughs a little and with a smile says "Not tonight."

Ok, so it's weak, but man, that was one of the coolest things ever at the time The second game of poker never got together, and I called it a night.

[Vince]

Friday, February 4th - Still adjusting to the new time zone, I woke up a little later than anticipated (11:30 AM). However, with no concrete plans for the day, it wasn't a big deal. I got ready, then hopped in the rental car and drove to downtown Jacksonville to explore the town.

At first, I just drove around. Taking in the sights, getting used to the freeways and such. I didn't have a map, but I wasn't really worried -- I drive around for a living, and have a rather good sense of direction. Even so, I was a bit proud when I didn't have to ever stop for directions, and I didn't get lost once. Jacksonville is a quite beautiful city -- set on the St. John's River (which flows more or less through the middle of the city), there are many bridges that cross the river. A nice downtown area with a few 'skyscraper' type buildings makes for a pretty nice skyline during the day or at night. I took a few pictures of the stadium, the city skyline, and the river, and then decided it was time to walk around.

I parked in a downtown lot, hopped out of the car and just started cruising. To my disappointment, the museum of modern art was closed for private shows all weekend, but I did get to check out some of the buildings, shops and such downtown. Finally, I made my way down to the Landing -- a mall in downtown Jacksonville that seemed to be the center of attention all weekend. All around the mall was packed with people -- outside there were vendors selling stuff, and inside just about every shop had some sort of Superbowl memorabilia to be had. Outside the Landing was a small auditorium-like area, and if any of you watched 'The Best Damned Road Show Period' this week, you got to see said auditorium space. They were filming as I wandered around, and there were tons of people there getting into it and cheering and screaming.

I was trying to decide on whether or not I should try the Southend Brewery -- I had heard it had a great selection of beers and such -- and in the end decided that I would try to go with my little brother the following day. Sadly, everytime we went near there from that point on, there were private parties there and I never did get to try the Brewery.

Not much to write about today -- it was mainly seeing the sights and nothing terribly exciting happened. When I got back to the hotel, something decidedly unexciting happened, as my Health Insurance Company called me to tell me they were cancelling my policy. After a lengthy and non-entertaining phone conversation later, I had my health insurance still, but I had to make a completely unexpected payment, and there went all my spending money for the weekend. Took the wind right out of my sails, and kept me corralled at the hotel for the evening, simply for lack of money. In the end, it was probably for the best, for once Ronnie got there, we didn't stop once. Taking a night to relax (even though it was a pain in the butt to be worried about something like Health Insurance when I didn't have any of my information at hand to check on) helped me get through the weekend without dying

At that point, I called it a day.

[Vince]

Just out of curiosity, is/was anyone reading this? I could go on about this for days (), but I've been pretty busy the last few days, so I let it go.

[Neon_Chaos]

I was. And I'm hooked. Need... to... know... about... your... adventure...

[Desnudo]

I'm enjoying it.

[Vince]

Ok, good. I'll try to get it finished before the weekend is over.

[Vince]

Saturday, February 6th - I awoke to the lovely sound of the hotel phone ringing, reminding me that yes, I do indeed have to be up this early, and I have to pick up my little brother at the airport. I drive up to the airport, and arrive just in time to circle the airport about 50 times waiting for my little brother to get out of the airport. Once he got out of baggage claim, we headed back to town. Having checked out the hospitality suite's spread of breakfast in the morning, I decided we would go out to eat, and damn the cost. Ronnie filled me in about all the stuff he had done the previous week, when he went to what I have dubbed a Salesmanship Seminar for Lexus. Apparently, he's really good at selling cars (as if he needed his head to get any bigger -- in his first month doing it, he sold 8 cars and made nearly $6,000). He got a medal and all. He was really excited though, and I was happy for him. We went from there to the hotel to shower and such, then jumped on the hotel shuttle to the Jacksonville Landing -- today was going to be completely devoted to the NFL Experience.

Once we got downtown, I gave my little brother a mini-tour, showing off the best parts of the Landing and downtown I had looked at before. We checked out The Best Damned Road Show Period again, and I got to shake hands with Ron Jaworski. Would have gotten my picture with him, but the camera was acting up, and there were a bunch of people waiting, so we decided not to hold up the crowd. We kept going through the landing, and made it to the water taxi to take us across the river and to the NFL Experience. Here, I noticed one of my favorite parts of Jacksonville, which my brother totally dropped the ball on and did not get a picture of. As we passed under one of the bridges over the St. John's River on the water taxi, I noticed a sign on the side of the bridge, intended for boats: "Slow Down! Manatee Zone" Akin to Quiksand's story of bygone days, I thought it would make a tremendous addition to the ex-girlfriend's wall, right above her bed...

...but Ronnie couldn't handle it, and we didn't even get a picture. Horrible. Anyways, we continued on to the NFL Experience, where our VIP tickets allowed us to bypass the decent-sized line to get in. Once you get in, it's like a theme park -- things to do everywhere, and vendors all over the place as well. You can run a timed 40-yard dash, enter a mock Punt, Pass and Kick contest, or try your luck at the Quarterback Challenge (where cardboard cutouts of diving receivers with a hole near the hands sway back and forth behind cardboard cutouts of leaping defensive backs), among other things. The only problem is, like an amusement park, there are ridiculous lines for everything. Ronnie and I did a cursory walk-through of all the 'events' you could enter first, and decided that we both wanted to see how fast we ran the 40. So we get in line, fill out a release form, and wait...once you get to the front, you get to check out the Field Turf that you end up running on -- pretty cool stuff. They let people run in groups of about 5 at a time, and my little brother (note -- I will continually say little brother -- he's 22, only 13 months younger than I. Not very much smaller than me either) and I line up against a decent spread of kids and adults. Ronnie and I managed a 5.32 (he beat me -- barely -- but don't let him know I admitted to that ) in jeans and shoes that were definitely not designed for running. Better by far than all who ran with us, but not all that close to the day's best 4.79. All in all, I was a bit disappointed in my time -- I've never run a timed 40, but I've always been much faster than all of my friends. The beer is getting to me, I guess

But that's about the end of the competitions for us, really. Most of the lines were quite long, and there wasn't much there that we couldn't rig up on our own at home. So we went to check out some of the other displays and shows going on. Walking into the hall of fame display, we could see some items on loan from Canton -- old helmets, pads, etc. There was some cool stuff there, but not really the main attraction of the show. We wanted to see the players, get some autographs. So we went into the 'electronics' exhibit, and noticed that Drew Brees was up on the stand having photos taken with fans, and signing autographs. Ronnie (who has absolutely no idea who Drew Brees is) asks if we want to get in the not-so-terribly-long line, and I tell him we should go buy a football for him to autograph while we're there. So we go check out the local stand selling footballs...

...and they're $40 frickin' dollars per football! In light of my recent disappointing economic news (the Health Insurance payment), and the fact that Brees isn't exactly high on my list of amazing players you drop anything to get an autograph from, I decided to pass. "Let's just go get a picture with him." When we get back, there's an usher standing at the back of the line "Sorry son, no more pictures." Fantastic -- we're off to a great start so far.

So we start to walk around some more, and check out the memorabilia tent. For the first time this trip I was glad that I didn't have money to spend, because I would have hurt myself here. Some fantastic pieces of merchandise -- Autographed jerseys, pictures, helmets, footballs, just about anything you could imagine was there. This, however, was also where I noticed the second most depressing thing of the entire trip. There was an artist there who was selling some of her work -- she took jerseys of prolific NFL Players, had them autographed, and then painted a tremendously lifelike image of them on the back of the jersey. It was pretty cool looking, but nothing that I would ever buy...especially at the $4,999.00 price tag per item! The depressing part was that, right next to Joe Namath's $6,000 jersey was an Eli Manning jersey...with the exact same advertised price as Joe Namath's! What the hell?!!? Anyways...

...at the back of the memorabilia tent was a stage set up for autographs -- currently signing were Ruben Droughns and Champ Bailey. I thought a Bailey autograph would be cool, but apparently you had to get tickets (which were free) before lining up for this one, and they were out of tickets. Batting 1.000 so far...so we continued out. After that, we checked out the Cadillac sponsor tent, where they had a couple of cars on display. Then it was off to the Campbell's Chunky Soup tent, where we got to try free samples. No sign of Mrs. McNabb, however. Finishing up our tour of the entire NFL experience, we hit on some of the cute Air Force recruiters, and continued on our way. Very disappointed about the state of my bank account, I made a few quick calls, and managed to transfer some money around and give myself the lee-way to make some purchases had I needed to. Then we decided to case the joint and find out who was going to be signing autographs, and when they were going to be doing it. I had decided to get an autograph for everyone I had set up as a backup plan to come with me to the Superbowl had my little brother been unable to go. I had three people to get gifts for -- Cole, a huge Bills fan; Mike, a huge Vikings fan; and Dan, a 49er fan like myself. Turns out that Cole and Mike were easy -- Willis McGahee was set to do Autographs at 4:30, and Nate Burleson was going to sign autographs at 7:00. Dan was a little tougher -- first off, who the hell on the 49ers do you want an autograph from? Julian Peterson? I guess...well, I went and bought 3 different footballs (bye bye $120...ouch), and got in line to wait for McGahee to sign one of them. This was at 4:25 or so, when there was a solid line of about a quarter mile, I'd estimate. Derrick Brooks was right next door at the Air Force Recruiting place, and his line started to move. McGahee, however, was late.

So 5:15 rolls around, and for some reason I'm still standing in a line that has only moved because some people have gotten sick of waiting and left. McGahee finally shows up, and our line starts moving. I have Ronnie take one of the balls and get in line for Derrick Brooks' signature -- at this rate we weren't going to get to many of the pros, and Brooks is a pretty solid player. Hopefully Dan won't mind that he plays for a team that he doesn't like Ronnie gets done with Brooks' line in about 15 minutes, while it takes me about another hour to get done with McGahee. Throughout the course of the wait, however, a rumor has been rippling among the autograph hounds waiting in line -- apparently Daunte Culpepper has been spotted at the Experience, and it's rumored that he will be signing some autographs. I hear this as my little brother comes back from getting Derrick Brooks' autograph. It was at this point, I heard the most depressing thing the entire trip. Ronnie turns to me and says "Who is Daunte Culpepper?"

Remembering that he's not really a football fan, I let it slide. After getting McGahee's signature (he was pretty rude -- didn't say a word to me even though I congratulated him on a fine year and a great return from a serious injury), we hurry over to the Topps Memorabilia tent to see if we can find Culpepper, and I get in line to get Burleson's signature. Nate is on time, and we get through the line rather quickly. The rumors were flying again in line though, and while it seems the general consensus is that Culpepper was there for a little bit, he didn't sign any autographs, and he most certainly wasn't there anymore. We missed out on Culpepper, but we still have three fairly famous NFL players' autographs. Burleson, as compared to McGahee, was pretty cool. He at least thanked me when I complimented him on a fine year. According to Ronnie, Derrick Brooks was pretty cool too. He even chatted it up with him a bit. Apparently, some parent had tried to get his little kid to cut in front of Ronnie so they wouldn't have to wait in line. When the Security Guard started making a scene, and the kid started getting upset, Ronnie stepped in and said "No, don't worry about it. The kid's with me, I just didn't want him to have to wait in line." Brooks apparently realized Ronnie was full of shit, and told him that it was a pretty cool thing for him to do once the kid got away.

At this point I realize something. This was supposed to be my dad's trip, and here I am worrying about getting everyone else something. So I chat it up with my little brother, and we decide that we have two options. First, Jerry Rice is staying at our hotel. My dad is a big 49er fan, and loved Jerry. However...my dad already has an authentic 49er helmet signed by both Joe Montana and Jerry Rice, as well as a football signed by the entire 1989 49er football team. Getting another Rice autograph would be great...but not really all that new to him. So we decided on option 2 -- look through the memorabilia tent and find something cool to give him.

Well, looking through the tent, I found something that really caught my eye. A custom 49er jersey, and instead of a name on the back, it read 'The Catch.' Underneath that was not one, but two numbers: 16 and 87. Joe Montana had autographed the 16, and Dwight Clark had autographed the 87. It was pretty amazing...but it was also $400. Since my brother an I were going to split it, it was only $200 each -- but that was still quite a bit of money, and considering my financial state, I reluctantly decided that I couldn't handle the cost. My brother, however, stopped me. "How much would you be willing to pay for it?" "Well, I'd be willing to pay that -- I just don't have it." "Well, duh. But how much would you be willing to pay for it right now?" "I don't know -- if we could get him to sell it for $300, let's do it. But that'll never happen." With a grin, Ronnie said "Watch this."

Ronnie went in there and played this guy like crazy. Started off with the sob story of how my dad won the trip, but couldn't go. How we were devastated that he couldn't enjoy this, what would have been his first superbowl ever. How we wanted to get him something great, but that we just didn't have the money. How my dad was a diehard Niner fan, and how The Catch marked a great turning point, and finally rewarded his years of hopeless fan-dom. "We could spare $225 for it."

The Vendor came back at him "Aw, come on. It's a custom made jersey--" Ronnie cut him off "Now, don't treat me like I'm stupid. You and I both know that it cost them maybe $60 to make the jersey. I know you're trying to get value for it, but that's just ridiculous."

Vendor responds "But the Montana signature alone is worth $150!"

Ronnie - "Good, and that makes it $210. Dwight Clark's signature is worth what...the paper it's printed on? I'll give you an extra $15 for going to the trouble to get it, and we have the $225."

Vendor - "Well, ok. I can see that $400 is a bit high. But I don't know that I could go much lower than $325."

Ronnie - "See, that's better. But like I said, we're broke. I'm sorry, but we're not going to be able to make it work. We'll see you later."

And we walked away. Let him think about it for a little bit...after about 15 minutes, we came back. Ronnie - "Well, we scrounged up some more cash, but we only got $275. Can we make a deal?"

Vendor - "If you can get me $300 cash, I'll sell it to you. But that's absolutely as low as I can go."

I was floored. I have no idea what the jersey is actually worth, but the fact that we got it for 25% off amazed me. Ronnie, of course, thought he was the shit, and wouldn't let go of the Jersey for anything. We were both really excited -- it would make a great gift for my dad.

At this point, it was about 8:00, and we headed back to the shuttle pick-up point to drop off our stuff before hitting up the Jacksonville night life.

Edit -- uh, I'm a moron. John Taylor? Wow was it late last night...

[JAG]

Vince, this is awesome. Great great stories so far. I think it's amazing you got a chance to meet and chat up one of your favorite all-time players too, so I'll forgive you for even mentioning The Catch.

[MIJB#19]

Vince, you need to hire your brother as trading manager for your Burn.

[flere-imsaho]

lol @ MIJB!

Great story, Vince! Keep it up!

BTW, your Dad's boss does seem like a total tool.

[Eaglesfan27]

I'm late to the party but am enjoying this great read.

[Radii]

Excellent. Can't wait to read about the game.

[MIJB#19]

Originally Posted by Radii

Excellent. Can't wait to read about the game.

I predict the Patriots win by 24-21.

[JeeberD]

So why in the hell was John Taylor's number and signature on a jersey commemorating "The Catch"? They couldn't find Dwight Clark or something?

I would have bought the damn thing just to burn it. Damn Niners...

[Vince]

Originally Posted by JeeberD

So why in the hell was John Taylor's number and signature on a jersey commemorating "The Catch"? They couldn't find Dwight Clark or something?

I would have bought the damn thing just to burn it. Damn Niners...

Wow am I quick...thanks for pointing that out Jeeber, I'm an idiot. It is definitely Clark, and I definitely knew that. It was late last night, I guess

[Vince]

I'm driving back up to San Jose tonight, but I'll probably have nothing to do once my family goes to bed (I'm kind of a night owl). So hopefully I can finish at least Saturday night by this evening -- rampant stories of traffic cones, Stuart Scott and police officers...not to mention getting a ride back to the hotel in a random person's SUV while utterly wasted. In all, it was a good night

EDIT -- Can I just say that I am HORRIBLY embarrassed that Jeeber had to point out that mistake? God...John Taylor? JOHN TAYLOR??!!!??

[Balldog]

Originally Posted by JeeberD

So why in the hell was John Taylor's number and signature on a jersey commemorating "The Catch"? They couldn't find Dwight Clark or something?

I would have bought the damn thing just to burn it. Damn Niners...

I was wandering the same thing but I wasn't sure if I was right on it being Clark so I didn't say anything. My memory is foggy.

Great read Vince.

[sterlingice]

Great writing, Vince (descriptions of your brother, manatee zone, Jerry Rice, etc). Glad I read this and that it was a such a good read. Some of us will never get to experience something like this so instead we can live vicariously through you. Now you need to finish

SI

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by Vince

EDIT -- Can I just say that I am HORRIBLY embarrassed that Jeeber had to point out that mistake? God...John Taylor? JOHN TAYLOR??!!!??

Some Niners fan you are...

[Vince]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

Great writing, Vince (descriptions of your brother, manatee zone, Jerry Rice, etc). Glad I read this and that it was a such a good read. Some of us will never get to experience something like this so instead we can live vicariously through you. Now you need to finish

SI

Thanks SI, and everyone else who has contributed to the thread so far. I tend to display semi-decent writing skills when I put my mind to it

Sadly, I wasn't able to get anything done last night, and I don't have very much time today at all. I'm going to get this done as soon as possible though, so don't worry, there will be a conclusion.

[RPI-Fan]

The one interesting thing to me is that the best 40-time of the day was barely a 4.8... just goes to show you what kind of crowd can go to the Superbowl. Of probably 1,000 people timed, exactly zero have the speed of an ordinary high school football player.

[Vince]

Well, you also have to remember that not everyone goes to the NFL Experience dressed to perform. I did my 5.32 in Jeans, a polo shirt, and some pumas that weren't designed for performance. Not having much experience with timed sprints, I don't know how easy it would be to shave a tenth of a second or three off my time, but I'd imagine that dressed appropriately and with stretching, I could probably get close to five flat.

[lytic]

I hate you dude.

[sterlingice]

Say, aren't you the one playing professional soccer

SI

[Vince]

Saturday, February 5th, approximately 8:30 PM - Carrying three autographed footballs, a $3.00 Sharpie (and it wasn't even game-used by T.O. -- what a rip-off ) and an incredible jersey autographed by Joe Montana and Dwight Clark, my brother and I left the NFL Experience so that we could drop off our merchandise before hitting up the downtown Jacksonville night life. Walking back towards the water taxi landing point, I start giving my brother crap about not getting a shot of the manatee sign earlier, noting that it is now too dark to see, and therefore too dark to get a picture of it on the return trip. We notice that there are about four different landings where water taxis seem to land, and there are large crowds of people at each one -- most of them looking decidedly unhappy and being vocal about it. As we approach and watch, we notice why.

A water taxi pulls up to the dock where the people are waiting, then immediately moves to an empty portion of dock around the corner. They quickly let off their passengers, then take off without loading anyone else. Screaming, cursing, and finger-lifting exercises follow the boat back into the river as it speeds off in the dark. Asking some of the people standing in line, we find out that they, at the very back of the line, have been waiting there for about 20 minutes and haven't seen a single person get picked up. Fantastic. After a cursory attempt to sell our tickets back to people who are looking for water taxi tickets, I write off the $10 I spent on the return trip as lost, and we decide to walk back to the bridge which will take us to the other side of the river and the Jacksonville landing, where the hotel shuttle will pick us up. It's about a mile walk -- would have been nothing if we hadn't been on our feet all day already at the NFL Eexperience.


On the way back, we hear snippets of live performances from Ludacris and R. Kelly (my recollection of the songs we heard isn't great, and my knowlege of that kind of music is even worse, so those could be the completely wrong artists, sorry) who have stages set up throughout the town on this side of the river. Also, Ronnie and I notice an absolutely amazing thing -- people are walking up and down the streets with open bottles of beer, and with mixed drinks! Now seeing as how no one else seemed to think this was a crazy thing, maybe we're the weird ones over here. But around these parts, it is illegal to walk around with an open container of alcohol. Cops will stop you, pour out all of the beverage(s) in question, and fine you. I think it's well over $100 too. Anyhow...finding out that we will be able to wander around the city with beer and liquor was a fantastic thing for us.

As we started winding our way back along the south side of the river, we were able to get a gorgeous view of the St. John's River, and the Jacksonville skyline and bridges were all lit up for the guests. Made for a few great pictures -- Ronnie was in charge of the digital camera, and if he ever gets his lazy butt around to sending them to me, I'll post some of them on here. There were also a bunch of boats on the water along our path -- of particular humour to my brother and I was one where a family was enjoying drinks inside the boat, underneath the upper deck. Walking past the boat, we at first had a good look right inside the door, where a younger lady was completely and openly staring at my brother and I. The funny part was that as we walked by, she got up, went into another room, and bent over to check us out through the window

Anyhow, we got to the bridge, and alongside the bridge was a huge group of people -- this is where the on-site set for ESPN was. Ronnie got a couple of great pictures of Berman discussing something with the show's techs, and we also got to see Stuart Scott, Trey Wingo and a couple of other ESPN faces from far away. Sadly, there was nothing within reach to throw at Stuart Scott (comment intended for comedic value only...I certainly wouldn't ever throw anything at someone just because I thought they were annoying), and Ronnie's picture of them came out quite blurry, so you can't even tell that they are people, let alone semi-famous people. There were way too many people to go up and shake hands, or try to get a picture with them, so we simply moved on.

We went to cross the bridge (for anyone who knows/cares, it was the John T. Alsop Jr. bridge, from what my MapQuest research suggests), and found that they had blocked off all traffic, and we got to cross the bridge by walking right down the middle of the road. Pretty cool, and there were tons of people getting drunk and partying already (~8:45 at this time). After we crossed the bridge, the Landing was packed -- but we didn't really care yet -- we wanted to go to the hotel, drop off our goods and get changed first. So we made a bee-line for the drop-off point of the hotel shuttle. Where we found a problem -- the roads were closed to traffic. There were limos everywhere -- stretch, small, white, black, Hummer, Escalade -- you name it, it was there. They were able to get through the police road blocks, but would our shuttle?

To find out, we went up to one of the police officers manning the road block, and we asked. She was really friendly, and we chatted it up for a while about drunken tourists, roadblocks, and any number of things while waiting for the Shuttle. When we finally spotted the Shuttle, it was cruising along the wrong street, avoiding the roadblock. It stopped just on the next block, let off some people, and then took off! Ronnie, apparently impressed by his performance in the 40 earlier, immediately sprinted off after the Shuttle. I watched, amused, as he ran, and drank some of my bottled water -- which I almost spluttered all over the pavement as the cop said "Dat boy run so good!"

Amazingly enough, Ronnie caught the shuttle before the end of the next block, somehow managed to get him to open the door while moving, and got the information he needed. The shuttle picked us up and started to take us back to the hotel. While Ronnie passed out in the seat next to me, I got to go through one of the more horrifying experiences of my life. This driver was old -- and apparently he couldn't see worth a damn. The entire way home, we were in two lanes at once. One time, the shuttle was actually on two wheels after hitting the curb of the median -- amazingly enough, Ronnie slept through it all. Thankfully, not many people were on the road, and we made it to the hotel alive. A quick change later, and we were back downtown.

First, we headed to the Landing to try to get into the Southend Brewerey. Sadly, they were holding a private party, and we were SOL. Instead, we headed down to Hooters -- who were also holding a private party. So to the middle of the pit we went. At this point, after buying autographed footballs and water taxi tickets, I was pretty well cashed out. Ronnie started to buy the drinks, and boy is that a bad thing. My brother is like my dad -- he'll walk into a store and say "what's the most expensive version of XXX?" And then buy that one without further ado. Which amazes me, because as we've seen, he has great negotiating ability. Anyways...we headed to one of the outdoor portable bars, and he got us each a Jaager-bomb and a Rum and Coke. I've been told since that a Jaager-Bomb is 3 shots of Jaagermeister and a splash of Red Bull. Nice, quick way to get fuzzy. We downed the Jaager-bombs (you're supposed to just shoot them), and started wandering around, drinking some of the strongest rum and coke's I've ever had. On the stage was a cover band (I think they were called Big Al and the Alkoholiks? Maybe?) doing a pretty solid rendition of 'My Own Worst Enemy' by Lit (thanks Logan for the song title and band name). The crowd was getting really into it, and the band was a pretty good cover band. Later that night, they tried to play 'Hey Ya' by Outkast, though, and that was a mess.

At any rate, we soon ran out of rum and coke, and Ronnie decided that we needed to go back to the same exact place we had been before to get our drinks. Nevermind that there was another booth right next to us, or that we were on the complete other side of the Landing from the original booth, with hundreds of people between us and them...so we mosey our way through the crowd, and get back to the portable bar. I start watching the crowd, and my brother hands me a drink. A very very full, dark mixed drink.

Me: "I thought we were getting Jaager-bombs again?"


Ronnie: "What does that look like?"


Me: "You're telling me this is all Jaagermeister? What the hell are you doing?"


Ronnie: "No, there's a little red bull in there. I just gave them fifty bucks and said give me two strong Jaager-bombs."


Who does that? Really? Anyways, after taking a moment to analyze the sheer folly of Ronnie giving a temporary bar vendor fifty dollars before getting anything in return, I trump his stupidity myself.

Ronnie: "We don't have to drink these one's that fast, we can treat them like a mixed drink."

Vince (giving Ronnie a very dirty look): "We either go big, or we go home. You're supposed to shoot a Jaager-bomb. How often are we going to get to party in Jacksonville?" And then, after clinking glasses, I chug down an entirely full cup of Jaagermeister (I'm fairly certain there was no red bull this time around). Ronnie follows suit, and before we turn to go, the bartender says "Don't forget your rum and cokes!" Just what we need...more alcohol.

It is shortly after this point during the night that I start to lose track of things...I remember chastising my brother for trying to hit on girls that looked to be about 16 years old, wandering around the crowd for a bit at the landing, and then, for some strange reason, we started wandering around downtown Jacksonville completely wasted, which had to be a bad idea.

As we were wandering, I noticed, on the side of the road, an orange traffic cone. It was one of the most fascinating traffic cones that I had ever seen, and I immediately decided that it had to come with us. So I picked it up, and started carrying it around with me on my right shoulder. Shortly after picking it up, my hazed mind realized that it made quite the formidable weapon -- and everyone around me was unarmed! I was set...so I started hitting random passers-by with my new weapon, the orange traffic cone. I was highly amused.


Ronnie, through bouts of hilarious laughter, attempts to chastise me for hitting people with the cone. After an attack or two, it became apparent that I'm obviously not proficient enough with a traffic cone to pose a threat, as most people just ignored my vicious attacks. Since being ignored is no fun, I started to 'behave,' and went back to simply carrying around my orange traffic cone. At which point we manage to attract the attention of one of Jacksonville's finest. "Hey!"


Ronnie: "Oh shit. Just keep walking, maybe they aren't talking to us." So we continue walking. The officer jogs to catch up with us, and addresses us... "So, you're going to want to put that cone down now."


Vince: "This cone? This one right here? **pointing at the cone on his shoulder** Sure, no problem." I put down the cone right at my feet. "Are you sure you want it here? Because I can go put it over there if you want. As a matter of fact, I could probably put it anywhere you wanted me to take it, if it helps."


Officer: "No, that's ok. It's perfectly fine where it is."


Vince: "Good, because I wouldn't want it to be causing anyone any trouble. You need this cone moved, you know who to call."


Now, bear in mind that I am totally wasted, and can hardly remember this conversation. From this point on, however, we make great friends with the cop. Ronnie and I must have chatted with this guy for 15 minutes. Sadly, history will never know the subject matter of our conversation, as both of our alcohol-soaked brains do not remember much other than talking to him for much longer than we needed to. This is a tremendous disappointment (almost as bad as not getting a picture of the Manatee sign), as the conversation was likely to have been hilarious. Suffice it to say that again my brother and I were amazed by the congeniality and accessibility of the Jacksonville police force, as those that we are familiar with back home are quite the opposite.


Eventually, we made it back to the Landing, which was closing up shop (around 2:15 AM). We had missed the last shuttle back to our hotel (not that that was a bad thing -- if that driver was bad at 9:15 at night, what the hell would he have been like at 2 in the morning?), and we were out of cash. Combine that with the hotel being 20 miles away, and we were in trouble. After some scrounging around, we found an ATM. And found out that Ronnie had already withdrawn his daily limit in cash. Quickly losing hope, I did what I could to entice the ATM to give ME some money...and lo and behold, we managed to get $40 out. For some reason, we had tremendous trouble finding a cab. Eventually, Ronnie flagged down a black SUV, and convinced them to drive us to the Hotel. I don't know who they were, how he talked to them, but I do know that he gave them all $40 that I had gotten out of the bank. And that wasn't cool. But getting to the hotel was, and we both passed out almost immediately.


Notice, I said 'almost' immediately. Apparently, I saw fit to call up my roommates to tell them how much they owed me for getting them autographs from some athletes on their respective teams. During the call, my ex-girlfriend manages to get on the phone, and so I'm talking to my ex while completely wasted. She then asks me a question. I'll close out this installment with my response to her question for me, shortly after which I passed out for good. Oh, and apparently I really did say this, and my roommates think it's definitely the funniest thing I've ever said.


DISCLAIMER: drunken, inappropriate comment ahead


Vince's Ex: "So what autograph did you get me?"


Vince: "I got you an autographed penis! I don't know if you'll like it though, every time I take a shower, it gets a little harder to read."

EDIT -- somehow, part of the transcript got cut off. I don't know how. I bolded the part that was left off -- it was one of the most FOFC-relevant parts of Saturday night too. I added it and bolded it. Enjoy

[lytic]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

Say, aren't you the one playing professional soccer

SI

What? That means I'm not allowed to be jealous?

MY PATS WERE PLAYING!!!

I'd trade in my 2 different front row seat MLS Cup final games (the 2 @ Foxboro) for a nose bleed Super Bowl ticket that the Pats play in.

[Logan]

Awesome job so far, Vince.

FYI...the song you were talking about was "My Own Worst Enemy" by Lit.

[Vince]

Thanks Logan -- that is indeed exactly the song we heard, and the cover band played it remarkably well. Other than the Outkast song that I couldn't stand (and I *kind-of* like the original song), they played all of their covers really tight, and they were very enjoyable. I couldn't tell you what those songs were, as I was a little too busy taking in the sights and keeping my little brother from hitting on 15 year olds ("But they have alcohol!" "Have you ever heard of a FAKE ID?!!? Do you think these vendors really care how old the people they are selling to are?") -- not to mention a little drunk -- to remember them. I do remember that they were good however. All online searches have been fruitless, so they will live on forever in obscurity to the FOFC masses.

[Vince]

Dola -- I should be able to write up the day of the game sometime over the next couple of days, so stay tuned!

Serves as a good bump for the weekday crowd too.

[MIJB#19]

A Dutch reference: Jägermeister!

[Eaglesfan27]

Hilarious read.

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Vince

(comment intended for comedic value only...I certainly wouldn't ever throw anything at someone just because I thought they were annoying)

Wait? And you have a brother?

SI

[Vince]

Ronnie doesn't count as someone. He's my brother -- that's different

[tucker342]

The part about the traffic cone was absolutely hilarious.

[sterlingice]

My favorite part of that is the vintage drunk line "You need this cone moved, you know who to call."

SI

[Balldog]

I just heard the Detroit Mayor the other day on the radio saying that 'people don't go to the Super Bowl town to explore the city and museums they go to get drunk and cheer for their team.' Paraphrasing here but then he said something about making sure everyone had the time they were looking for, might have to take the 80 minute drive North to party it up! Though Detroit isn't the best city to party at least not right near the stadium.

[Radii]

very nice!

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by MIJB#19

A Dutch reference: Jägermeister!

Ugh. I've had it twice and wound up getting sick both times. Not my drink of choice...

[Vince]

Well, it's about that time (thanks for the prompt Logan ). I'm going to write up the big day finally, so look for it in a few minutes (hours, perhaps? Might take a while

[Vince]

Argh. Well, I didn't finish, but I got it about halfway done. It will be up before the weekend, I promise!