Dr. Laura

[markprior22]

I was travelling yesterday and listened to some of her show while on a stretch of road that wasn't very "radio friendly". I am a very conservative person and while I agree with many of her ideas, I can't stand the way she presents them.

I read some articles years ago that made it pretty clear that she was quite promiscuous in her younger years. I don't have a problem with that per se because we all can change and become different/better people as time passes. I do have a problem with the condescending tone she uses with almost all her callers. If she does have this background, I can understand why she feels her advice is urgent and very serious. But she hammers these people until most of them have to feel like crap. I wonder if any studies have been done researching how many people hang up and cut their wrists immediately.

I also don't like her uppity attitude towards 2 parent working families. It's the same deal as above. I agree that is an ideal situation but, in this day and age, many people can't do it. We are fortunate that I work from home and my wife works for the school system (so she is on the exact same schedule as the kids). However, we did use daycare in the past. We kept very close with the teachers and spent good time with the kids during the evenings and weekends. They are far from grown but so far, we have some of the best kids I know. I think what really gets me is that every situation is different. It is best for one parent to be home with the kids but it just isn't practical for many. Talking to people (who both work) like they are the scourge of the earth just turns me off.

End rant

[Raiders Army]

pics pls, thnx

[Suicane75]

Is she really even a Doctor? I wonder what SackAttack thinks of her.

[SackAttack]

I think that just about the only people who do listen to her show are the people who have such a sense of self-loathing that they *want* to be berated for their choices. It's the only thing that makes sense.

[CamEdwards]

i always found it odd that a woman who does work out of the home berates other women for doing the same thing.

[rkmsuf]

never heard of her

[Leonidas]

I heard her for the very first time ever the other day. I'd heard all about her and thought surely the left wing's constant bashing of her was over done and an exercise in taking someone out of context. Wrong. The woman is simply a bitch.

[sabotai]

I know that if my brother and sister-in-law both didn't work (if only one did), their child would be starving and they would only be able to afford a small apartment. I wonder what Doctor Laura would say to them.

[Axxon]

Originally Posted by sabotai

I know that if my brother and sister-in-law both didn't work (if only one did), their child would be starving and they would only be able to afford a small apartment. I wonder what Doctor Laura would say to them.

She would probably say not to have children unless and until you are able to care for them properly which I think makes perfect sense. If you can't afford children don't have them, period. Now, as to whether or not proper care means that one parent MUST stay at home with the child is debatable.

[oliegirl]

Dr.Laura is the devil incarnate as far as I am concerned. The only people more stupid and obnoxious than her are the people who call into her show and not only ask for, but then take her advice.

I used to listen to her, more for amusement than anything else, at work...however there was a call regarding an adopted child who had contacted the birth mother and the response she gave to the caller (the birth mother) was so repulsive that I turned the station and have not listened to her since.

[Axxon]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

Dr.Laura is the devil incarnate as far as I am concerned. The only people more stupid and obnoxious than her are the people who call into her show and not only ask for, but then take her advice.

I used to listen to her, more for amusement than anything else, at work...however there was a call regarding an adopted child who had contacted the birth mother and the response she gave to the caller (the birth mother) was so repulsive that I turned the station and have not listened to her since.

Ok, what was the advice?

[oliegirl]

Originally Posted by Axxon

Ok, what was the advice?

The woman was asking whether or not she should answer the adopted child's letter asking for information, and Dr. Laura told her that she didn't "owe" this person anything and I got really angry...

[Axxon]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

The woman was asking whether or not she should answer the adopted child's letter asking for information, and Dr. Laura told her that she didn't "owe" this person anything and I got really angry...

That's really off for her to say considering she stresses ( or used to - I haven't listened in years ) personal responsibility and that once you have children your first responsibility is to them.

I'm not disagreeing with her necessarily though; I'm just surprised she said it.

I think it would be a crappy thing to ignore your child of course, but the point is, if you gave up your child and wish not to be in their life I'd say that the child owes YOU that courtesy considering that the parent took the option of giving you a life rather than aborting you. It's a tough issue granted but the ease in which adoptees are finding their parents who don't want them to makes me wonder if more people won't choose the other option instead as more people are put into bad situations years later that they expressly. specified that they didn't want to be involved in.

[johnnyshaka]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

The woman was asking whether or not she should answer the adopted child's letter asking for information, and Dr. Laura told her that she didn't "owe" this person anything and I got really angry...

For the record...not a fan of Dr. Laura either, but I don't see the problem here.

Both the birth parents and child are entitled to their own privacy and if the birth mother doesn't feel like she should divulge the info, then so be it. Same works the other way, if the child would like to remain anonomous, they should have that right.

Just my opinion as a child who was put up for adoption.

[rkmsuf]

Do I make you horny?

[Desnudo]

It's a man, baby!

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by Axxon

That's really off for her to say considering she stresses ( or used to - I haven't listened in years ) personal responsibility and that once you have children your first responsibility is to them.

I'm not disagreeing with her necessarily though; I'm just surprised she said it.

I think it would be a crappy thing to ignore your child of course, but the point is, if you gave up your child and wish not to be in their life I'd say that the child owes YOU that courtesy considering that the parent took the option of giving you a life rather than aborting you. It's a tough issue granted but the ease in which adoptees are finding their parents who don't want them to makes me wonder if more people won't choose the other option instead as more people are put into bad situations years later that they expressly. specified that they didn't want to be involved in.

I think Dr. Laura would argue that the 'birth mother' is not the mother.. merely a body that produced the child. At that point, she would say that there is no true tie between the two - therefore no obligation. Her duty was served when giving her up.

Not necessarily that I agree, but that is probably at least close to her argument.

[HomerJSimpson]

Originally Posted by Desnudo

It's a man, baby!

Doh!

[rkmsuf]

Oh behave!

[oliegirl]

Originally Posted by wade moore

I think Dr. Laura would argue that the 'birth mother' is not the mother.. merely a body that produced the child. At that point, she would say that there is no true tie between the two - therefore no obligation. Her duty was served when giving her up.

Not necessarily that I agree, but that is probably at least close to her argument.

My problem was that the child was ONLY asking for information, not wanting to meet, etc...

I am adopted and my parents are the people who raised me. The woman who gave birth to me is just that, someone who gave birth to me. However, I think that if the child goes so far as to find you and contact you, you should think about why they need the information and give them whatever they can to help them. I don't think giving a child up for adoption erases the fact that the child exists, and although you are not obligated to help them, I think looking at any child, or person for that matter, as an obligation is a pretty crappy way of looking at things. I can understand someone saying they don't want to meet, whatever. But to refuse basic information I think is pretty callous. I also think calling a talk show host to get an answer to such a question is pretty stupid. And I think giving someone the advice that they don't "owe" someone something is horrible. What would it hurt to answer the kids letter/questions and then move on.

[Flasch186]

i think i remember some controversy about her and her being an anti-semite or the holocaust or something. it was a while ago but for some reason it rings a bell.

[Desnudo]

Originally Posted by HomerJSimpson

Doh!

Woo hoo!

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

My problem was that the child was ONLY asking for information, not wanting to meet, etc...

I am adopted and my parents are the people who raised me. The woman who gave birth to me is just that, someone who gave birth to me. However, I think that if the child goes so far as to find you and contact you, you should think about why they need the information and give them whatever they can to help them. I don't think giving a child up for adoption erases the fact that the child exists, and although you are not obligated to help them, I think looking at any child, or person for that matter, as an obligation is a pretty crappy way of looking at things. I can understand someone saying they don't want to meet, whatever. But to refuse basic information I think is pretty callous. I also think calling a talk show host to get an answer to such a question is pretty stupid. And I think giving someone the advice that they don't "owe" someone something is horrible. What would it hurt to answer the kids letter/questions and then move on.

i would tend to agree with you...

Again, just trying to put out there what I think her reasoning is based on listening to her a fair amount for as you stated, 'entertainment value'...

[johnnyshaka]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

My problem was that the child was ONLY asking for information, not wanting to meet, etc...

I am adopted and my parents are the people who raised me. The woman who gave birth to me is just that, someone who gave birth to me. However, I think that if the child goes so far as to find you and contact you, you should think about why they need the information and give them whatever they can to help them. I don't think giving a child up for adoption erases the fact that the child exists, and although you are not obligated to help them, I think looking at any child, or person for that matter, as an obligation is a pretty crappy way of looking at things. I can understand someone saying they don't want to meet, whatever. But to refuse basic information I think is pretty callous. I also think calling a talk show host to get an answer to such a question is pretty stupid. And I think giving someone the advice that they don't "owe" someone something is horrible. What would it hurt to answer the kids letter/questions and then move on.

Agreed, calling a talk show for advice doesn't seem to be the best solution to any problem.

IMHO, if the birth parents wish to remain anonomous, that should be their right. Sure, the humane thing to do would be to give the info, but in this day and age, that is highly unlikely.

[Maple Leafs]

Dr. Laura was quite big in Ottawa many years ago when she first became prominent, and has since disappeared.

Having heard her show a few times, I can say that she focused on two concepts that were somewhat refreshing: first, that of personal responsibility for your actions, and second the idea that your children were not just a priority but the priority. In a lot of cases, her callers really did need to hear those messages and it probably did help. But like most radio talkshows, the show started to sound the same after you'd heard it a few times. Once her show became relatively famous the callers knew what to expect and the whole thing just seemed forced.

From what I've heard, I gather that she followed the same career path as most controversial media personalities: started off well-meaning, became famous, saw the inevitable steady decline in popularity and then began turning up the volume on the same tired act in an effort to regain the glory, eventually becoming a caricature of herself.

It will happen to Cam one day, just watch.

[Axxon]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

My problem was that the child was ONLY asking for information, not wanting to meet, etc...

I am adopted and my parents are the people who raised me. The woman who gave birth to me is just that, someone who gave birth to me. However, I think that if the child goes so far as to find you and contact you, you should think about why they need the information and give them whatever they can to help them. I don't think giving a child up for adoption erases the fact that the child exists, and although you are not obligated to help them, I think looking at any child, or person for that matter, as an obligation is a pretty crappy way of looking at things. I can understand someone saying they don't want to meet, whatever. But to refuse basic information I think is pretty callous. I also think calling a talk show host to get an answer to such a question is pretty stupid. And I think giving someone the advice that they don't "owe" someone something is horrible. What would it hurt to answer the kids letter/questions and then move on.

The only informatoin that would fit the category of need rather than curiosity that I can think of off the bat is medical information. Now, I have no idea but isn't that type of information readily available to the child? If not, that's a huge problem as that information can be vital.

The only other information I could see the child requesting would be personal information and while I can't see where that would cause any harm, I've never been in that situation and there may well be very good reasons why someone would not want to reveal personal information about themselves that they may not be willing to reflect on themselves, much less share it.

I didn't hear the call though and you did so I'm really not in any position to judge this particular case and you probably have a legit reason to be upset with Dr Laura's answer. I was just talking in general, not this specific case.

[Loren]

Though I tend to agree with what her BASIC thoughts are, the way she branches out from them and goes rather wacko on people is annoying, used to listen to her in the car but more times than not she'd just annoy me to frustration and i dont need any more road rage than i already have plus yeah she's rather hypocritical...anti-semite? isnt she Jewish? and her callers ARE normally pretty moronic sounding, they never seem to have an ounce of common sense.

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by Axxon

She would probably say not to have children

That hardly seems like a solution to a working couple who already has a child.

[Loren]

Originally Posted by sabotai

That hardly seems like a solution to a working couple who already has a child.

No, but that would be where she would berate the caller for having children when they SHOULDNT have..and on and on and ON..her only solution would be that the woman should stop working and stay home taking the responsibility she should.

[Flasch186]

Originally Posted by Loren

Though I tend to agree with what her BASIC thoughts are, the way she branches out from them and goes rather wacko on people is annoying, used to listen to her in the car but more times than not she'd just annoy me to frustration and i dont need any more road rage than i already have plus yeah she's rather hypocritical...anti-semite? isnt she Jewish? and her callers ARE normally pretty moronic sounding, they never seem to have an ounce of common sense.

yup maybe youre right, i dunno it just rung a bell. Apparently she converted.

[Axxon]

Originally Posted by Loren

No, but that would be where she would berate the caller for having children when they SHOULDNT have..and on and on and ON..her only solution would be that the woman should stop working and stay home taking the responsibility she should.

That's exactly what she would say.

[Eaglesfan27]

I think Dr. Laura has some good basic ideas. However, I hate how she presents them and can't stand to listen to her show.

[oliegirl]

Originally Posted by Axxon

The only informatoin that would fit the category of need rather than curiosity that I can think of off the bat is medical information. Now, I have no idea but isn't that type of information readily available to the child? If not, that's a huge problem as that information can be vital.

I know the laws on this vary from state to state. My adoption was finalized in Illinois and the records are sealed - forever. If I wanted to get any medical information, I would have to hire a PI and pay in order to find out where this person is. My parents have her name so I would have a shot at finding her over the internet. I seriously considered doing this when I became pregnant, but ultimately decided that such information was a Pandora's Box...once I knew a little I would want to know alot and I didn't (and still don't) think I am ready to accept the possible negative outcomes of such a quest.

I just think that, when it comes down to it, that person is your flesh and blood...and if they are asking for medical information, there is NO reason not to provide it. If they are asking for background, then they clearly are struggling with things and if you can help them out by answering a couple questions on a piece of paper, what is it going to hurt you. For someone like Dr. Laura who preaches family values and makes such a point about children being THE priority, to turn around and make a statement about "you don't owe her/him anything" was so hypocritical and cruel, I just couldn't believe it.

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

I know the laws on this vary from state to state. My adoption was finalized in Illinois and the records are sealed - forever. If I wanted to get any medical information, I would have to hire a PI and pay in order to find out where this person is. My parents have her name so I would have a shot at finding her over the internet. I seriously considered doing this when I became pregnant, but ultimately decided that such information was a Pandora's Box...once I knew a little I would want to know alot and I didn't (and still don't) think I am ready to accept the possible negative outcomes of such a quest.

I just think that, when it comes down to it, that person is your flesh and blood...and if they are asking for medical information, there is NO reason not to provide it. If they are asking for background, then they clearly are struggling with things and if you can help them out by answering a couple questions on a piece of paper, what is it going to hurt you. For someone like Dr. Laura who preaches family values and makes such a point about children being THE priority, to turn around and make a statement about "you don't owe her/him anything" was so hypocritical and cruel, I just couldn't believe it.

I still don't see it as hypocritical, particularly with her mindsight...

In her mind (and I somewhat agree), the adopted child is NOT family of the birth mother.... Once the adoption happens, that's it...

I think this is how it should be, otherwise it will encourage abortions vs. adoptions...

[Axxon]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

I know the laws on this vary from state to state. My adoption was finalized in Illinois and the records are sealed - forever. If I wanted to get any medical information, I would have to hire a PI and pay in order to find out where this person is. My parents have her name so I would have a shot at finding her over the internet. I seriously considered doing this when I became pregnant, but ultimately decided that such information was a Pandora's Box...once I knew a little I would want to know alot and I didn't (and still don't) think I am ready to accept the possible negative outcomes of such a quest.

I just think that, when it comes down to it, that person is your flesh and blood...and if they are asking for medical information, there is NO reason not to provide it. If they are asking for background, then they clearly are struggling with things and if you can help them out by answering a couple questions on a piece of paper, what is it going to hurt you. For someone like Dr. Laura who preaches family values and makes such a point about children being THE priority, to turn around and make a statement about "you don't owe her/him anything" was so hypocritical and cruel, I just couldn't believe it.

I would go further and say that not providing medical information should be illegal. It is very important. What if they are diabetic or have a condition that is passed on genetically? I recently found out my mom has a rare eye condition thing that is passed down and could cause blindness if not checked for and taken care of. It's something I needed to know. I don't necessarily have my eyes checked regularly but I know now that I pretty much have to now. There's any number of things like this.

I agree 100% thought that it was extremely hypocritical of her to say something like that as well.

[Axxon]

Originally Posted by wade moore

I still don't see it as hypocritical, particularly with her mindsight...

In her mind (and I somewhat agree), the adopted child is NOT family of the birth mother.... Once the adoption happens, that's it...

I think this is how it should be, otherwise it will encourage abortions vs. adoptions...

It is hypocritical with her mindset. She preaches personal responsibility and that the child is your number one responsibility even to the point of saying that the mother has to stay at home and care for the child, no matter the financial burden. Now she's saying you can give up all responsibility by giving the child up for adoption? That's ducking your responsibility big time.

I agree that this is how it should be in regards to the abortion b adoption as I mentioned above but I don't see how she can and I clearly think you should have to provide the adoption agency your medical records which can be shared with the child, though your identity and privacy should be protected.

[johnnyshaka]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

I know the laws on this vary from state to state. My adoption was finalized in Illinois and the records are sealed - forever. If I wanted to get any medical information, I would have to hire a PI and pay in order to find out where this person is. My parents have her name so I would have a shot at finding her over the internet. I seriously considered doing this when I became pregnant, but ultimately decided that such information was a Pandora's Box...once I knew a little I would want to know alot and I didn't (and still don't) think I am ready to accept the possible negative outcomes of such a quest.

I just think that, when it comes down to it, that person is your flesh and blood...and if they are asking for medical information, there is NO reason not to provide it. If they are asking for background, then they clearly are struggling with things and if you can help them out by answering a couple questions on a piece of paper, what is it going to hurt you. For someone like Dr. Laura who preaches family values and makes such a point about children being THE priority, to turn around and make a statement about "you don't owe her/him anything" was so hypocritical and cruel, I just couldn't believe it.

What if the birth parent is like you in that they are not ready to deal with the "Pandora's Box" the child could be opening? I'm not sure you understand the implications of receiving THAT phone call can have on the parent, the parent's family, the child, and the child's family. Trust me, it's nowhere near as trivial as jotting down a couple of notes and then returning to life as usual.

Dr. Laura is right, though, birth parent's don't OWE us (I'm adopted as well) anything, afterall, we're both here because somebody decided not to abort us...isn't that enough?

Now, I'll admit that I'm playing devil's advocate a little bit, because I think any decent human being would want to help out, but in this case, I don't think it is as cut and dry as you think.

[johnnyshaka]

Originally Posted by Axxon

It is hypocritical with her mindset. She preaches personal responsibility and that the child is your number one responsibility even to the point of saying that the mother has to stay at home and care for the child, no matter the financial burden. Now she's saying you can give up all responsibility by giving the child up for adoption? That's ducking your responsibility big time.

I agree that this is how it should be in regards to the abortion b adoption as I mentioned above but I don't see how she can and I clearly think you should have to provide the adoption agency your medical records which can be shared with the child, though your identity and privacy should be protected.

The woman didn't call in asking about whether or not she should put the baby up for adoption...that's not the issue here. Ultimately, the woman is no more responsible for the life of that child than you and I are, once she signs that adoption contract.

As for the sharing of medical records, I do agree with you, but the logistics of how to legislate it and actually make it happen are mind boggling.

[Ben E Lou]

Wow. Y'all sure do take an entertainment show seriously. Interesting. For the record, I've been on the road the last couple of days, and therefore listened to her show, too. I find her show funnier than any of the nationally syndicated talk-radio shows besides Boortz. Considering all of those shows are there for entertainment first, content second, that's what I look for. I find it quite entertaining to hear people call in over and over again and say they are "long-time listeners" and then ask a question that you pretty much KNOW how she's going to answer. Classic case of "Yeah, I know everyone ELSE who is doing so-and-so is messed up, but *MY* situation is DIFFERENT." Good stuff!

[Axxon]

Originally Posted by johnnyshaka

The woman didn't call in asking about whether or not she should put the baby up for adoption...that's not the issue here. Ultimately, the woman is no more responsible for the life of that child than you and I are, once she signs that adoption contract.

As for the sharing of medical records, I do agree with you, but the logistics of how to legislate it and actually make it happen are mind boggling.

I think you're missing my point. I realize that the question wasn't about whether or not she should put the child up for adoption but I would think that Dr Laura wouldn't say that you are relieved of any and all parental responsibility because you did so. I happen to agree with you on the issue but I can't see how she would agree considering her stance on the issue of children.

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by Axxon

I think you're missing my point. I realize that the question wasn't about whether or not she should put the child up for adoption but I would think that Dr Laura wouldn't say that you are relieved of any and all parental responsibility because you did so. I happen to agree with you on the issue but I can't see how she would agree considering her stance on the issue of children.

Ok.. let me make it clear... she has SAID that's how she feels about it on her show. When I child is given up for adoption, the relationship ends there. done. over. That IS her viewpoint whether you want it to be or not. It is very easy to seperate the two views...

When you have a child, is the #1 priority.

When you choose to put a child up for adoption, when you sign the papers, you basically become a tool, not a parent.


Sure, she would say you shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place (personal responsibility). But you did, therefore it is better for you to know what is best for the child if you cannot support it, and put it up for adoption (rather than bad childhood or abortion).

She also specifically states that any adoption that involves an agreement for the birth parent(s) to have contact with the child is a terrible idea.

She is very consistent in her views on adoption.

[oliegirl]

Originally Posted by johnnyshaka

The woman didn't call in asking about whether or not she should put the baby up for adoption...that's not the issue here. Ultimately, the woman is no more responsible for the life of that child than you and I are, once she signs that adoption contract.

As for the sharing of medical records, I do agree with you, but the logistics of how to legislate it and actually make it happen are mind boggling.

You are right about the medical information, but until they figure out how to word the legistlation or whatever so that this information is available, then I think it's the responsibility of anyone who gave up a child for adoption to be willing to answer these questions.

Beyond that, I am not saying the caller was obligated to respond, my point is simply that for Dr. Laura's only response to be "you don't owe this person anything" is wrong. You are talking about people, human lives here. Nothing is that cut and dry because there are emotions involved. As I said earlier, anyone who calls this show, or any show for advice, is stupid, but the way she blows these people off with such obnoxious answers without even asking for additional information, or doing something good such as referring her to a family therapist, psychologist, etc...is just infuriating. This call struck a chord with me b/c I am adopted, but she treats (or at least used to treat) all her callers this way.

[CraigSca]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

Beyond that, I am not saying the caller was obligated to respond, my point is simply that for Dr. Laura's only response to be "you don't owe this person anything" is wrong. You are talking about people, human lives here. Nothing is that cut and dry because there are emotions involved. As I said earlier, anyone who calls this show, or any show for advice, is stupid, but the way she blows these people off with such obnoxious answers without even asking for additional information, or doing something good such as referring her to a family therapist, psychologist, etc...is just infuriating. This call struck a chord with me b/c I am adopted, but she treats (or at least used to treat) all her callers this way.

Two things.

Generally, I think better decisions are made when this "emotional" element is tossed by the wayside. Sometimes you DO have to remove the human element from the mix.

Also, you get what you pay for. If you believe that a 2 minute phone call is going to solve your lifelong problems, then tack that on as one of your problems . I also believe the calls are screened by the producers and the information from the caller is given directly to the host. Sometimes it will then look like the host is short-changing the caller only because the listeners don't have all the information.

That being said - I think Dr. Laura is completely over the top though I do generally agree with a lot of her concepts.

[Ben E Lou]

Originally Posted by CraigSca

If you believe that a 2 minute phone call is going to solve your lifelong problems, then tack that on as one of your problems .

Ding. Ding. Ding. We have a winnnnahhh!!!!

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Axxon

I would go further and say that not providing medical information should be illegal. It is very important.

Well, you've managed to agree with me again

I'm an adopted child who got a real eye-opener when we found out there was a baby on the way. Yeah, color me stupid or whatever, I always knew that I didn't have a medical history past, well, me, but it never really hit me until we started doing all the paperwork that comes along with a child. I "knew it", but I didn't really "know it", if you know what I mean.

Realistically though, I'm not sure I believe a law would really have a broad positive impact. A lie here, a lie there, a few omitted details, I can see where it could cause as much trouble as it fixes.

(Shockingly?) This is not a subject where I believe I've got every answer. Hell, I'm not sure if you got five adoptees in a room there'd even be agreement on many of the questions. Sigh.

[CamEdwards]

Originally Posted by SkyDog

Ding. Ding. Ding. We have a winnnnahhh!!!!

hey, I've solved many a life problem in the course of a two minute phone call.

Okay, actually it took three. Does that still count?

[Desnudo]

I got rock-solid abs in 5 minutes a day.