It hurts when I pee

[Pumpy Tudors]

I MEANT HCIC DAMMIT

Edit: WHY DO I COME DOWN HERE

[korme]

Head C. In Charge?

[Fidatelo]

When in doubt, C = Cock. Head Cock In Charge. Settled.

[Cringer]

Originally Posted by SkyDog

Clarification of a few things:

1. This was a unilateral decision by me. If you're mad at someone, don't blame the group. Be mad at me.

2. While the great majority of decisions are available for group input, I do take action on my own at times. (All formally-reported posts are posted in the mod forum, and deciding to take no action on the bulk of those is the thing we do much more often than anything else. )

3. The final decision on moderation decisions always rests with me, although sometimes the mods do stuff that I wouldn't do myself. Still, even in those cases, if I wanted to stop it, I could. So again. Don't blame the group. Be mad at me.

Very few have changed their FOFC user settings for these things, so I am pretty sure the default setting of 'SkyDog is to blame for _____' is currently enabled for most people here.

[korme]

If the answer is no, can I change your mind?

[Pumpy Tudors]

CANADIAN, YOU FUCKERS

[Fidatelo]

Originally Posted by Shorty3281

If the answer is no, can I change your mind?

What cards do you have left?

[MikeVic]

Ah geez.

[MikeVic]

Originally Posted by Fidatelo

What cards do you have left?

I have this, think it'll help?

[Sidhe]

I'm going to produce a press conference for SkyDog so he won't have to go any further now that he's claimed responsibility.

The reporters have assembled, the cameras are whirring, and SkyDog is at the podium.

"I have an opening statement. I'm here to talk to you about the recent action against the notorious and dangerous troll Phalid. I understand the pain that the friends and admirers of banned posters feel. I have to deal with them every day, see the pain in their posts. But if we don't ban, then the trolls win. The decision to ban was mine, and I take responsibility for it. To those who say I should stop banning, or who are waiting for me to lift the ban, they are living in false hopes. Now to your questions"

But what about those that say the trolls are really in other threads, such as the parody threads? That banning Phalid in the "It Hurts When I Pee" thread is a diversion of our moderating resources from the places where we really need them?

"The connection between "It Hurts When I Pee" and other troll threads were very clearly demonstrated by Secretary Subby and Board Security Advisor Condoleeza Lathum. There was clear evidence of an intent to troll, even if the actual trolling was pretty lame in practice. There was a definite trolliness to Phalid, everyone could see it. I mean, just look at that screen name? Phalid-- what the hell? And our resources are not misplaced -- We fight the trolls in IHWIP so that we don't have to fight them in our other threads."

But there are credible reports that Phalid was not trolling, that he was actually reporting a true event and soliciting advice, in much the same humorous way other posters would.

"I have seen these reports, but you have to understand -- being moderator is hard. It's hard work. Some days I wonder why I ever wanted to be a moderator, but I have a firm resolve to see the job done. I think posters want me to do what I feel is right. Even if I'm wrong, so long as I feel I am right, that's what's important."

There are many who believe there is too much moderation going on in that thread, that we should bring most, or maybe all of our moderators home. How do you answer these people?

"I understand people have different opinions, but you have to understand, too, that people are stupid. I have to deal with stupid people every day -- believe me. You wouldn't believe how many ignoramuses argue with me about stuff. It's crazy, when it's so obvious that I am right."

Rather than putting an end to the trolling, it seems as if banning Phalid has increased trolling in IHWIP. How do you plan to deal with this situation as it threatens to spiral out of control?

"I have consulted my team of experts and we have devised a plan to increase moderation by 30% over a period of months. We will have a "surge" of moderators, and their efforts will make it possible for us to bring the IHWIP thread back into a kind of political stability. Once that happens, you will see far less trolling there -- maybe a post or two a day. The benefit to us will be enormous."

What if the surge doesn't work?

"What are you, a dumbass? I just told you it would work."

How long do you foresee the banning of Phalid to be in effect?

"I can't predict the future, a hundred years? Maybe a thousand? We'll ban Phalid for as long as it takes. If we don't keep banning, the trolls win. Do you want trolls in your "Literary Draft" threads? Do you want to see trolls blowing up threads in the FOF forum? You have to understand the very real threats that we face. I don't know why you don't understand that, except, as I say, people are stupid."

But there are people who remind us that Hell Atlantic is still out there, unbanned. We know where he is, yet instead of using resources to ban him, we are putting them all into IHWIP.

"We'll ban Hell Atlantic when the time and opportunity are right. We already have him on the run. There's no hole deep enough for him to hide in. I'm not worried at all about Hell Atlantic. I don't even think about him. Thank you for your time."

**with apologies to Lathum, Subby, and Hell Atlantic for the satire. Skydog deserves it.

[Dr. Sak]

Make sure you have this guy hold the press conference...

[korme]

It's basically sending the message to any lurker that it's safer to not post than to be sorry

[Sidhe]

Originally Posted by bsak16

Make sure you have this guy hold the press conference...

Heh, well he would be Phalid's press secretary.

[MikeVic]

I don't get it!!!

[Fidatelo]

Originally Posted by MikeVic

I have this, think it'll help?

I'm pretty sure that might be what got this thread started in the first place.

[Fidatelo]

Sidhe, that post was great

[Lorena]

Originally Posted by Fidatelo

Sidhe, that post was great

+1

that was awesome

[Sidhe]

Thank you. I'm rarely moved to post, but the satire possibilities were so obvious there I couldn't resist. Although the limericks almost got me..

[SnowMan]

I support this thread.

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by Shorty3281

It's basically sending the message to any lurker that it's safer to not post than to be sorry

Yeah any lurker or new user has to fucking walk on egg shells now, since precedence has been set.

[Dr. Sak]

Originally Posted by dangarion

Yeah any lurker or new user has to fucking walk on egg shells now, since precedence has been set.

Welcome to Hollywood!

[Lorena]

Originally Posted by st.cronin

Why does it hurt when I pee? My balls feel like a pair of maracas. Welcome to Hollywood.

Wait a second... why is this guy still around?!!!!?

[MikeVic]

Originally Posted by Dodgerchick

Wait a second... why is this guy still around?!!!!?

Originally Posted by st.cronin

Why does it hurt when I pee?

st.cronin, do you want to tell us something?

[Lathum]

Why the hell am I Condeleeza?

[Lathum]

dola- but good stuff

[MikeVic]

Originally Posted by st.cronin

Why does it hurt when I pee?

Really man. You should've made this thread here a long time ago.

[cartman]

Originally Posted by dangarion

Yeah any lurker or new user has to fucking walk on egg shells now, since precedence has been set.

If "fucking walk on egg shells" is equal to not talking about painful urination or pulling dried bits of smelly chunks out of their belly button, then the terrorists have already won.

[Sidhe]

Originally Posted by Lathum

Why the hell am I Condeleeza?

LOL, I had to pick somebody! No harm intended.

[Fidatelo]

I think the safe bet for any n00b would be to simply quote others and add "+1" for their first 100 posts.

Actually, we don't really have any idea what the safe limit is, do we? Perha[s we need SkyDork to sticky a chart showing the safe thresholds for various topics. Here is a sample template:

0-100 posts: May only discuss sports, and may not use sarcasm lest it be misconstrued.
101-200 posts: May now use limited sarcasm, and can extend topics to include video games and business. Politics and Religion are still off limit.
201-1000 posts: Full use of sarcasm is now available. Politics and Religion may be discussed to the extent that you don't have an adverse opinion to SkyDork. Threads involving sexual themes and or bodily fluids may be engaged, but not created.
>1000 posts: You may now do and say pretty much anything within the stickied posting guidelines. You can discuss fucking a sandwich, a sock, or how long your penis is as related by past girlfriends. You can start monthly threads devoted to 1-sided misinformation campaigns. You can virtually facial other members with syrup-pee. The board is your high-school girlfriend, and you may now dry hump her passionately.

[Antmeister]

Originally Posted by MattJones4Heisman

Just wanted to give it the proper recognition. I would like to follow this sentence with proper LOL.

LOL!

[Scoobz0202]

Originally Posted by dangarion

Yeah any lurker or new user has to fucking walk on egg shells now, since precedence has been set.

shit.

[Dr. Sak]

Originally Posted by Fidatelo

I think the safe bet for any n00b would be to simply quote others and add "+1" for their first 100 posts.

Actually, we don't really have any idea what the safe limit is, do we? Perha[s we need SkyDork to sticky a chart showing the safe thresholds for various topics. Here is a sample template:

0-100 posts: May only discuss sports, and may not use sarcasm lest it be misconstrued.
101-200 posts: May now use limited sarcasm, and can extend topics to include video games and business. Politics and Religion are still off limit.
201-1000 posts: Full use of sarcasm is now available. Politics and Religion may be discussed to the extent that you don't have an adverse opinion to SkyDork. Threads involving sexual themes and or bodily fluids may be engaged, but not created.
>1000 posts: You may now do and say pretty much anything within the stickied posting guidelines. You can discuss fucking a sandwich, a sock, or how long your penis is as related by past girlfriends. You can start monthly threads devoted to 1-sided misinformation campaigns. You can virtually facial other members with syrup-pee. The board is your high-school girlfriend, and you may now dry hump her passionately.

+1

Can we get a sticky up in here

[Noop]

This is a free board but we have grown as a community never have I ever questioned the leadership until now. It was a poor move and unless Phalid was a proven troll(such as ip check, or a banned member coming back.) then it sets a precedence of you can be banned for things you might do. If he can't be objective then prehaps he needs to go ahead and step to focus on FOF2007 which seems to be where he spends most of his time.

- I mean no disrespect to Skydog at all I think he's a alright guy. I don't think he has given a valid reason for banning Phalid. Also this has nothing to do with Phalid and more to do with in my opinion is an abuse of power.

Good Day Men You Stewards of Quahog.

[rkmsuf]

man, i'd love to virtually facial noop

[MikeVic]

Originally Posted by Fidatelo

I think the safe bet for any n00b would be to simply quote others and add "+1" for their first 100 posts.

Actually, we don't really have any idea what the safe limit is, do we? Perha[s we need SkyDork to sticky a chart showing the safe thresholds for various topics. Here is a sample template:

0-100 posts: May only discuss sports, and may not use sarcasm lest it be misconstrued.
101-200 posts: May now use limited sarcasm, and can extend topics to include video games and business. Politics and Religion are still off limit.
201-1000 posts: Full use of sarcasm is now available. Politics and Religion may be discussed to the extent that you don't have an adverse opinion to SkyDork. Threads involving sexual themes and or bodily fluids may be engaged, but not created.
>1000 posts: You may now do and say pretty much anything within the stickied posting guidelines. You can discuss fucking a sandwich, a sock, or how long your penis is as related by past girlfriends. You can start monthly threads devoted to 1-sided misinformation campaigns. You can virtually facial other members with syrup-pee. The board is your high-school girlfriend, and you may now dry hump her passionately.

You've stepped up your funniness lately.

[MikeVic]

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

man, i'd love to virtually facial noop

What's stopping you.

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by MikeVic

What's stopping you.

he's packing heat

[Antmeister]

Originally Posted by Ronnie Dobbs2

Maybe the General Discussion mod should be someone who participates in general discussion?

Mod? We have a Dark Council that determines your fate.

[Noop]

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

man, i'd love to virtually facial noop

For the first time I am creeped out by something on the internet. What you said is very homo.

[st.cronin]

Originally Posted by Ronnie Dobbs2

Maybe the General Discussion mod should be someone who participates in general discussion?

Woah.

[MikeVic]

Originally Posted by Noop

For the first time I am creeped out by something on the internet. What you said is very homo.

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by Noop

For the first time I am creeped out by something on the internet. What you said is very homo.

if it's virtual I don't think it's homo. although we might need a ruling on this.

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by Ronnie Dobbs2

Maybe the General Discussion mod should be someone who participates in general discussion?

I second this motion.

[MikeVic]

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

if it's virtual I don't think it's homo. although we might need a ruling on this.

[ShawonDunston]

Originally Posted by SkyDog

Clarification of a few things:

1. This was a unilateral decision by me. If you're mad at someone, don't blame the group. Be mad at me.

2. While the great majority of decisions are available for group input, I do take action on my own at times. (All formally-reported posts are posted in the mod forum, and deciding to take no action on the bulk of those is the thing we do much more often than anything else. )

3. The final decision on moderation decisions always rests with me, although sometimes the mods do stuff that I wouldn't do myself. Still, even in those cases, if I wanted to stop it, I could. So again. Don't blame the group. Be mad at me.

So much ignorance, so little intelligence.

[Fidatelo]

Originally Posted by MikeVic

You've stepped up your funniness lately.

Why thank you!

Interestingly my productivity has stepped down.

[rkmsuf]

oh great...former cub shawon dunston is pissed now.

[gkb]

I don't usually comment on bannings and boxing. Moderating a forum is a thankless job and I this is by far my favorite forum. I think it's well run and entertaining. Unless there's something else going on that we aren't aware of though it seems like maybe a mistake was made in banning Phalid...

P.S. Pumpy, stay away from my wife...

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by ShawonDunston

So much ignorance, so little intelligence.

Bannanated in 3...2...1...

[DanGarion]

Those to blame.

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