The Bill Gates Challenge, Part VIII: Blaze Of Glory

[MIJB#19]

Originally Posted by Alf

Come on Kodos, what is more important than The Bill Gates Challenge ?

Trade negotiations in the IHOF Draft?
Plus, Kodos is up in 3 picks now!

[Kodos]

Week 13

Atlanta (6-3-2) at Gatesville (8-3)
============================================

Attendance: 46,900 tickets were bought, but 3,500 stayed home to work on some arts 'n' crafts.

The Game:

The game started off slowly, with neither team scoring in the first quarter. Broderick Hidalgo got us on the board with a 35-yard field goal early in the second quarter, but he inexplicably missed on the extra point a few minutes later after Berg hit Randle for a 3-yard touchdown. Ty Robbins’ 12-yard touchdown catch from Bergeron with 5 minutes remaining in the half extended our lead to 16-0, but Gus Bleeck’s 26-yard return of an errant Berg pass late in the half got the Falcons into the end zone and back into the game at 16-7.

The second half started with an 83-yard drive which Lonnie Ruiter capped off with a 6-yard touchdown run that put us up 23-7. Chuck Farley and Ty Robbins both added touchdowns later in the half, as we cruised to an easy 44-7 victory over the Falcons.

Key Performers:

Berg got the Game MVP for completing 23 of 38 passes for 348 yards and 5 touchdowns. He also threw 1 interception, for which he was chastised severely.

Lonnie Ruiter ran 9 times for 84 yards and a score. He also caught 2 passes for 11 yards and another TD.

Chuck Farley, just as some folks predicted around midseason, has really caught fire in the second half of the season. This game was no different, as ol’ Chuck pulled in 5 passes for 107 yards and a score.

Ty Robbins caught 6 passes for 108 yards and 2 TDs.

New Injuries:

Aging right guard Darren Cruise dislocated his elbow and will hopefully return in time for the playoffs.

Top cornerback Joel Harden suffered a bruised shoulder, but will start in Week 14 against the Cowboys.


============================================
Dallas (6-5) at New England (7-4)

The Cowboys got shut out for the second week in a row. This time, the Patriots were the ones puttin’ a hurtin’ on the ‘Boys, to the tune of 19-0.



============================================
The Playoff Picture

With 4 games left, here’s how things are shaping up in the NFC. While the Cowboys aren’t totally out of it yet, they are teetering on the brink of elimination. As for us, Arizona and Washington are both breathing down our necks. There is simply no room for error right now… :o

1. Tampa Bay   10-2

2. Gatesville   9-3

3. Atlanta      6-4-2

4. Arizona      9-3

5. Washington   9-3

6. Chicago      8-4

------------------- 

7. St. Louis    7-5

8. Dallas       6-6

In other news, the Vikings are working on a perfect season at 0-12.

Oh, and did I mention that we travel north to face the Cowboys in Week 14? Stay tuned…

[Kodos]

From: Kyle Diaz
To: Bill Gates & Kodos
Subject: Advance Scouting Report of the Dallas Cowboys

Injury Report:
Walt Reilly, QB - Out
Tracy Mazurek, QB - Doubtful
Sean Ross, DT - Probable
Damon Tanner, CB - Probable
Jamal McElroy, LB - Probable
Scott Turnbull, CB - Questionable

Offensive Overview:

Starting Quarterback: Tracy Mazurek
159 for 278, 2019 yards, 12 TDs, 5 interceptions this season.
Excellent at throwing short passes.

Starting Running Back: Claude Flaherty
94 carries for 374 yards, 3 touchdowns this season.
Very good short distance runner.

Starting Flanker: Gino Burroughs
51 receptions for 689 yards, 5 touchdowns this season.
Very good hands.

Starting Split End: Alvin Coleman
66 receptions for 934 yards, 3 touchdowns this season.
Very good runner after the catch.

Defensive Overview:

Starting Left Defensive End: Marlon Linquist
24 tackles, 9 assists, 2.0 sacks this season.
Good defender against the run.

Starting Right Defensive End: Winston Wayne
25 tackles, 7 assists, 7.5 sacks this season.
Very good pass-rusher.

Starting Nose Tackle: Sean Ross
3 tackles, 5 assists, 1.0 sacks this season.
Very good pass-rusher.

Starting Left Outside Linebacker: Jamal McElroy
51 tackles, 17 assists, 1.0 sacks this season.
Very good man-to-man pass defender.

Starting Left Inside Linebacker: Troy Tompkins
65 tackles, 23 assists, 1.0 sacks this season.
Very good pass-rusher.

Starting Right Inside Linebacker: Terrance Hoyle
36 tackles, 11 assists, 1.0 sacks this season.
No real strengths to speak of.

Starting Right Outside Linebacker: Edwin Lindsay
25 tackles, 9 assists, 1.0 sacks this season.
No real strengths to speak of.

Starting Top Cornerback: Joel Flannery
47 tackles, 9 assists, 1 interceptions this season.
Very good zone pass defender.

Starting Second Cornerback: Jerome McCarthy
38 tackles, 7 assists, 2 interceptions this season.
Very good pass intercepter.

Starting Free Safety: Greg Drayson
70 tackles, 24 assists, 3 interceptions this season.
Excellent man-to-man pass defender.

Starting Strong Safety: Harvey Casillas
69 tackles, 19 assists, 6 interceptions this season.
Good zone pass defender.

[Godzilla Blitz]

Potentially, this could be the final Gatesville vs. Dallas game, no?

[Kodos]

Potentially, yes. Some would even say most probably.


In any case, we certainly don't look to meet them in the playoffs.

[sterlingice]

Wow. I completely missed this starting back up. Stupid school.

SI

[Kodos]

School gets in the way of a lot of important stuff, doesn't it?

[Vince]

Go Pirates!!!

[Alf]

Go Pirates !

[Kodos]

Week 14

Gatesville (9-3) at Dallas (6-6)
============================================

The Game:

The Cowboys were enduring a two-game streak of shutouts as they prepared to play host to us in Week 14. Better still, a loss to us would drop them to below .500 on the season, and put another dagger through the heart of their playoff hopes. Yes, even though I was caught up in a battle to keep my job, this was still a good day to be a Silicon Pirate.

Jerry Jones looked sufficiently pissed off on the Dallas sideline before the game, even though he was trying to put on a brave face for the press. To my delight, the boo-birds were out in force, and they really let the home team have it as they took to the field. Why, the Cowboys were booed almost as much as I was -- and as you might imagine, that's really saying something.

The Cowboys got the first crack at the ball, but 4 plays into their opening drive, rookie defensive tackle Sammie Atwood slammed backup quarterback Ian Webb (who was in for the injured Tracy Mazurek) to the ground and knocked the ball out of his hands. Defensive end Frankie Farley was there to fall on it, and the ball was ours in great field position at our own 46.

Following an incompletion on first down, Berg gave the ball to Lonnie “Cowboy Killer” Ruiter, who smashed his way 14 yards downfield for a first down. Next play, Ruiter picked up another 10 yards to move the ball to the Dallas 30. Looking to strike quickly, Berg went deep for Chuck Farley on the next play, but free safety Greg Drayson cut off the pass and made a tough interception in the end zone to keep us off of the scoreboard.

Having dodged a bullet, the Cowboy offense went to work once again. An offensive holding call immediately set them up with first-and-20 from their ten, but a 7-yard Colin Schwartz run that was followed by a 13-yard yard Claude Flaherty run got them out of trouble. Following the initial Cowboy first down, our defense stiffened and forced them to punt it back to us on fourth-and-4 from their own 36.

With 6:24 left in the opening quarter, Berg and the offense took over from our 23. First down saw Berg hit Farley for 8 yards, while second down saw Ralph Randle pull in another pass for a 16-yard gain. Three plays later, a 17-yard Earl Thornton reception on third-and-9 kept the chains moving, but the offense sputtered on the Cowboy 35 and Hidalgo was brought on for a 49-yard field goal attempt that sailed wide right and kept the game scoreless.

The end of the first quarter saw us trade punts with the Cowboys, and the second quarter started with free safety Dave Sanders picking off a Webb pass at our 25. The remainder of the second quarter would see Joel Harden pick off Webb at our 46, and Dave Sanders pick him off again in the end zone with just a minute left in the half. Despite our defense intercepting Ian Webb three times in the second quarter, our offense was unable to produce any points, and we went into the half deadlocked at 0-0.

One minute into the third quarter, backup cornerback Ernest Rodgers brought Webb’s interception total to 4 on the day, setting us up on the Cowboy 46. Levon Wallace got the call on first down, and he made his way for 7 yards before being dragged down. Next, Lonnie Ruiter took the ball off right guard for a 5-yard gain, and on the next play Berg slipped through the line for another 10 yards. Staying with what was working, we kept the ball on the ground with Lonnie Ruiter, who made his way to the Cowboys’ 3 before defensive end Marlon Linquist could bring him down. On first-and-goal, Levon Wallace burrowed his way for a hard 2-yard gain to set up Chuck Farley’s 1-yard touchdown grab on second down. With 11 minutes left in the third quarter, we had finally broken the stalemate and gotten ourselves onto the scoreboard.

The Cowboys answered our score with a 52-yard drive that produced a 45-yard field goal for Bo Atkins which made the score 7-3.

The next couple of drives ended in punts by each team, but early in the fourth quarter a key 25-yard reception by Chuck Farley on second-and-19 set up a 44-yard Hidalgo field goal that made it 10-3 with twelve minutes remaining in the contest.

Another Hidalgo field goal with 3:14 left in regulation made it a two-score ballgame.

Trailing 13-3 with time running out, Webb failed to throw a single completion on the Cowboys’ ensuing possession, and their follow-up drive wasn’t much better, as Webb completed just 2 of 6 attempts. His final incompletion on fourth-and-13 from the Cowboy 21 gave us the ball in fantastic field position, and three plays later Berg capitalized with an 11-yard touchdown pass to Ty Robbins to put the final shovel of dirt on the Cowboys’ collective coffin, 20-3.

The Cowboys got the ball back after recovering their own fumble on the ensuing kickoff, but all Webb could do in the final 18 seconds was move the ball out to his own 44. In what would perhaps be our final game against the Cowboys in the Kodos era, we had prevailed once again, completing yet another season sweep of the Cowboys. If I end up with nothing else when all is said and done for me here in Gatesville, I will walk away from this experience having watched the team that I assembled utterly dominate the series with Jerry Jones’ vile Cowboys since our move to Gatesville. And that is something that nobody will ever be able to take away from me. Not even my jackass of a boss, Bill Gates.

Key Performers:

All-Pro free safety Dave Sanders won the Game MVP award with 5 tackles, 4 assists, and 2 interceptions.

Lonnie Ruiter had himself another fine day against the Cowboys, as he gained 114 yards on 20 carries.

Berg completed 14 of 28 passes for 162 yards and 2 TDs, with 1 interception.

Chuck Farley led all receivers with 6 catches for 62 yards and a TD.

Cowboys backup QB Ian Webb had himself a miserable day despite a good completion percentage, as he hit on 21 of 36 attempts for 175 yards, no TDs, and 4 interceptions.

New Injuries:

Top cornerback Joel Harden aggravated his bruised shoulder injury, and will miss our game in Philadelphia next weekend.

All-pro fullback Levon Wallace has some broken ribs and may not return this season.

Backup safety Timothy Whalen, who is part of our rotation at strong safety, sustained a bruised sternum that could keep him out of action for 3 to 5 weeks.


============================================
Minnesota (0-12) at Tampa Bay (10-2)

In a jaw-dropping turn of events, the winless Vikings went down to Tampa Bay and came away with a 27-24 victory over the NFC-leading Bucs. Who’da thunk it?!? As Chris Berman always says, “That, folks, is why they play the games!”

============================================
The Playoff Picture

The Buccaneers’ stunning loss to the Vikings drops their record down to match ours at 10-3, and by virtue of our superior record within the NFC, we unexpectedly find ourselves sitting in first place! But there’s no time for celebrating now as we prepare ourselves for the upset-minded Philadelphia Eagles in Week 15.

1. Gatesville  10-3 (9-2 conference)

2. Tampa Bay   10-3 (7-3 conference)

3. Atlanta      7-4-2

4. Washington  10-3

5. Arizona      9-4

6. Chicago      8-5

------------------- 

7. St. Louis    7-6

8. Dallas       6-7

[Godzilla Blitz]

Outstanding. You simply couldn't have ended that series with a loss to Dallas!

[Kodos]

And hopefully, the series hasn't ended.

[cthomer5000]

whoa. wait a f***ing minute. Why wasn't I notified that this dynasty was back in action!?

damn you Kodos!

(heads back a couple pages to get caught up).

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by cthomer5000

damn you Kodos!

I get that a lot.

[cthomer5000]

Man, Chuck is on a mission! Those TD's seem to be piling up like the did in his finest years.

There is no way you aren't bringing home the title and keeping your job (although your division is pretty brutal).

[Kodos]

Shortly after the second half of the Pirates-Cowboys game had begun, a loud roar of disgust went up from the crowd as Dallas quarterback Ian Webb threw his fourth interception of the day. In response to the collective groan, the majority of the people who were still milling about around the vendors had cleared out of the bowels of Texas Stadium and headed back to their seats.

Once the halftime crowd had thinned out, a vaguely familiar figure, clad in a well-worn brown janitor's uniform, pushed his mop bucket out from the men's restroom and into a side hallway, guiding it along by the mop handle. Though his thick, tangled gray beard and his unkempt salt-and-pepper hair obscured the features of his readily-recognizable face to some degree, a careful observer would probably still recognize him by the eyes hidden behind his oversized glasses, despite the fact that his show had been off the air for over a decade-and-a-half now. Intent on avoiding discovery, he kept those famous eyes downcast under his janitor's cap.

Once around the corner, and out of view of the prying eyes, he fished out a set of keys from his pocket, and inserted them into a door marked "Janitor". A moment later, he stepped inside, and closed the door softly behind him...

[Godzilla Blitz]

Damn it. Who can it be? Mr. Magoo, maybe?

[hoopsguy]

JR Ewing?

[Kodos]

Sorry for the slow pace of the updates, folks. Work has been really busy. For now, here's another morsel to enjoy.

Week 15

Gatesville (10-3) at Philadelphia (5-8)
============================================


Injury Update:

Safety Alan Hines has been pressed into duty at cornerback due to the injury to our top CB, Joel Harden.

In a boost for the defensive line, Dusty Szilter returns at left end.

Tight end Mitchell Horner will do his best to fill in for Levon Wallace at fullback.

The Game:

We narrowly avoided disaster on the opening kickoff, as return specialist Scott Cooley lost possession of the ball following a hard hit by rookie safety Artie Hitchcock as he crossed the 40 yard line, but thankfully reserve cornerback Ernest Rodgers was there to recover the ball for us.

Berg came out firing on first down, and found Ty Robbins on a fly pattern for a quick 32 yards. On the next play, he found Robbins again, this time on a deep curl for 18 yards. On just the third play of the game, Berg hit Mitchell Horner out of the backfield for an 8-yard touchdown to put us up 7-0 a mere 87 seconds into the game. This was gonna be easy!

From that point until around the four minute mark of the second quarter, the local Philadelphia gentry were treated to a punting exhibition that was only interrupted by the occasional interception. Finally, with 4:10 left in the half, Vernon Talley was able to get the Eagles on the board with a 49-yard field goal.

Things got worse from there, as Berg took a sack on the second play of our ensuing drive and fumbled the ball. Eagles’ linebacker Albert Stevenson was there to scoop up the ball and rumble 23 yards to pay dirt. In the space of a minute, we had regressed from a 7-0 lead to a 10-7 deficit.

The agony didn’t end there, as Stevenson quickly extracted another pound of flesh when he stripped the ball out of rookie RB Dominic Hernandez’s hands on the second play of our next possession. This time, defensive end Jeffrey Garrison was there to return it 5 yards for another Eagle touchdown. Nightmarishly, we had given up 17 points in the space of two minutes!

At halftime, we did our best to regroup, but frankly the guys were a bit shell-shocked. Frankly, so was I. Still, we came out in the second half believing we that could climb back into the game and come up with the win.

Luck appeared to be moving a bit in our direction when Eagles kicker Vernon Talley missed a 43-yard field goal attempt wide right, but we soon returned the favor, as our increasingly unreliable kicker Broderick Hidalgo missed a 44-yard field goal attempt wide left with 8 minutes remaining in the third quarter.

The next time out, Hidalgo made amends with a 36 yarder that pulled us to within a touchdown at 17-10 with 1:46 left in the third.

A minute later, with the tide seemingly turning in our favor, Dave Sanders intercepted Eagles QB Lonnie Middleton’s pass to set us up with first-and-10 from the Eagle 18. Unfortunately, an offensive holding penalty proved to be too much for our offense to overcome, and we settled for a 27-yard field goal from Hidalgo with 14 minutes left in the game, making the score 17-13, still in the Eagles’ favor.

A quick three-and-out by the Eagles gave us the ball back quickly, and Berg wasted little time moving the team 69 yards on a drive that ended with a 16-yard touchdown grab by Chuck Farley that put us on top 20-17 with 11 minutes remaining.

With their next crack at the ball, the Eagles were only able to drive to midfield before we forced them to punt it away once again, and Scott Cooley’s short return set us up at our own 26. With an opportunity to salt the game away, we didn’t do much on our next drive, and soon Frankie Branch was called in to punt the ball to the Eagles once again.

Eagles QB Lonnie Middleton came back out onto the field with 4:15 left looking to move his team downfield for a tying field goal, or better yet a go-ahead touchdown, but free safety Dave Sanders picked off Middleton’s first pass attempt and took it 69 yards the other way for a touchdown that made it a 27-17 ballgame. Two plays later, right cornerback Ralph Scurlock picked off another errant Middleton pass, and that was all she wrote for the Eagles, as we held on to win 27-17.

Whew! That game turned out to be a little closer than we might have hoped!

Key Performers:

Dave Sanders captured the Game MVP award for the second week in a row, thanks to his long interception return for a touchdown that sealed the game for us. All told, he made 6 tackles and 2 interceptions on the day.

Young RB Lonnie Ruiter had an unimpressive outing, as he gained only 44 yards on 10 carries.

Berg completed 18 of 34 passes for 265 yards, 2 TDs, and 1 interception in an unspectacular outing.

Ty Robbins had himself a solid outing with 5 catches for 102 yards.

Chuck Farley made 4 grabs for 60 yards, and pulled in the TD that put us on top for good.


============================================
Dallas (6-7) at Chicago (8-5)

The Bears eliminated the Cowboys from playoff contention with a 27-14 victory. Congratulations, Jerry - Your team has missed the playoffs once again! Way to do what you do best!

============================================
The Playoff Picture

The win over the Eagles kept us in first place in the NFC, but our hold on the top seed is tenuous at best, as we still will have to go in to Tampa Bay next weekend to face our toughest rivals. The all-important home field advantage in the playoffs will almost certainly go to the winner. Closer to home in the NFC East, the Redskins and Cardinals are still nipping at our heels. What I’m trying to say is: We need to keep winning or things can go to hell real quick here. Cross your fingers for the Silicon Pirates in Week 16, folks! It's gonna go down to the wire for your Pirates and their beleagured owner!

1. Gatesville  11-3 (10-2 conference)

2. Tampa Bay   11-3 (8-3 conference)

3. Atlanta      7-5-2

4. Washington  11-3

5. Arizona     10-4

6. Chicago      9-5

------------------- 

7. St. Louis    8-6

8. New Orleans  7-7

[Kodos]

Hopefully, the writeup will be up later today.

From: Kyle Diaz
To: Bill Gates & Kodos
Subject: Advance Scouting Report of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Injury Report:
Dwight Norris, QB - Probable
Andre Welch, TE - Probable
Winfred Clark, G - Out
Brandon Cook, CB - Out
Kerry Dixon, T - Out
Marty Card, DE - Questionable
Danny Carty, CB - Doubtful
Les Feeney, CB - Out
Lonnie Garrison, DT - Doubtful
Monty Conway, DE - Probable
Skip Young, LB - Questionable

Starting Quarterback: Dwight Norris
246 for 396, 2883 yards, 20 TDs, 8 interceptions this season.
Excellent at throwing short passes.
Loves to run the football.

Starting Running Back: Jon Adams
65 carries for 266 yards, 2 touchdowns this season.
Excellent overall runner.

Starting Flanker: Andre Barker
73 receptions for 850 yards, 7 touchdowns this season.
Excellent go-to receiver.

Starting Split End: J.R. Dunlap
62 receptions for 785 yards, 3 touchdowns this season.
Fair third down receiver.

Defensive Overview:

Starting Left Defensive End: Marty Card
1 tackles, 0 assists, 0.0 sacks this season.
Good pass-rusher.

Starting Right Defensive End: Renaldo Apolonio
29 tackles, 11 assists, 10.5 sacks this season.
Very good defender against the run.

Starting Nose Tackle: Luther Monroe
36 tackles, 12 assists, 2.0 sacks this season.
Good defender against the run.

Starting Weak-Side Outside Linebacker: Mark Dixon
56 tackles, 28 assists, 1.0 sacks this season.
Excellent pass-rusher.

Starting Weak-Side Inside Linebacker: Winston Larose
74 tackles, 26 assists, 1.0 sacks this season.
Excellent zone pass defender.

Starting Strong-Side Inside Linebacker: Skip Young
16 tackles, 6 assists, 1.0 sacks this season.
No real strengths to speak of.

Starting Strong-Side Outside Linebacker: T.J. Izzo
47 tackles, 20 assists, 0.0 sacks this season.
Good defender against the run.

Starting Weak-Side Cornerback: Wesley Castleberry
32 tackles, 9 assists, 4 interceptions this season.
Very good pass intercepter.

Starting Strong-Side Cornerback: Benjamin Cottle
10 tackles, 4 assists, 0 interceptions this season.
Very good pass intercepter.

Starting Free Safety: Adrian Strong
71 tackles, 20 assists, 2 interceptions this season.
Very good man-to-man pass defender.

Starting Strong Safety: Frank Brock
40 tackles, 16 assists, 5 interceptions this season.
Fair pass intercepter.

[Kodos]

Week 16

Gatesville (11-3) at Tampa Bay (11-3)
============================================

Injury Update:

Here’s the laundry list of guys who were on the injured list as we came into our game versus the Buccaneers. The guys with stars are starters.

* Darren Cruise, G - Dislocated Elbow, full strength in 3-5 Weeks
* Al Ingram, LB - Dislocated Knee, full strength in 2018
* Joel Harden, CB - Bruised Shoulder, full strength in 3-5 Weeks
* Levon Wallace, FB - Broken Ribs, full strength in 2018
* Dusty Szilter, DT - Pulled Groin, full strength in 3-5 Weeks
* Jose Mason, DT - Broken Jaw, full strength in 3-5 Weeks
* Artie Furman, WR - Stretched Knee Ligament, full strength in 0-2 Weeks
Zack Terrell, G - Broken Finger, full strength in 0-2 Weeks
Will Rison, DE - Sprained Knee, full strength in 0-2 Weeks
Timothy Whalen, S - Bruised Sternum, full strength in 3-5 Weeks

Young standout receiver Artie Furman will play, but he will be played sparingly.

The Game:

We headed into Tampa Bay in first place in the NFC, but with much of our team banged up. A loss to the Buccaneers could drop us from first to fourth place in the conference with one game left in the regular season.

After the coin toss, we got the first crack at the ball. Consecutive carries for -3 and -1 yards by Dominic Hernandez on first and second down quickly put us in a hole, and Lonnie Ruiter’s 13-yard pickup on third down fell 1 yard short of the first down. In a daring move, Coach McCormick decided to go for it, and Chuck Farley rewarded his early gamble with an 11-yard pickup that moved the sticks and advanced us into Buccaneer territory. With a fresh set of downs from the Tampa 41, Berg looked to Farley again, but this time Farley couldn’t come up with the catch. On second down, we went back to Lonnie Ruiter, who broke off a 13-yard run behind left guard to move us to the Buccaneer 28. A false start then set us back 5 yards on first down, and on first-and-15, Ruiter could only manage a couple yard pickup before being dragged down by strong safety Frank Brock. Going back to the air, Berg hit the hobbled Artie Furman on a curl route for a 7-yard gain that brought up third-and-6 from the Tampa 24. Running behind makeshift fullback Mitchell Horner, Ruiter was just able to get the ball past the first down marker and keep the drive alive. Now in the red zone, Ruiter got the call once more and picked up 3 yards on first down. Next, Dominic Hernandez got another chance to run the ball, and this time he came up with a 4-yard gain. Facing third-and-3, Coach McCormick kept the ball on the ground, and Hernandez broke off a 9-yard run that put us just 2 yards shy of the end zone. From there, Berg flipped a quick pass to Artie Furman as he crossed the goal line, and thankfully Furman was able to hold on as free safety Adrian Strong unloaded on him. 7-0, Silicon Pirates!

On their first drive of the game, the Buccaneers tried to get their running game going on the tree-trunk sized legs of Jon Adams, but they only managed one first down before being forced to kick the ball back to us.

The rest of the quarter saw both offenses struggle, and the first quarter ended with Frankie Branch kicking a 41-yard punt from our own 5.

The Bucs started off the second quarter down 7-0, but with great field position at our 46. First down saw Dwight Norris hit Shawn Spoljaric for a 9-yard gain. Norris followed that up with a draw play that ate up another 4 yards, and from there a 5-yard pass to flanker Andre Barker advanced the ball to our 28. Next, Fullback Brandon Kimbrell pounded the ball right up the middle on his way to our 20-yard line for another Buccaneer first down. With our defense on its heels, Norris handed the ball to Adams, who smashed through several defenders on his way to the end zone, tying the game up at 7-7.

On our next possession, a dropped pass by Ty Robbins and a 3-yard loss by Lonnie Ruiter set us up with third-and-13 from our 21. Chuck Farley pulled in Berg’s pass on third down, but the all-pro tight end was only able to pick up 9 yards with the grab. On came Frankie Branch once again to punt it away.

The Bucs were unable to duplicate their earlier success with their next drive, and soon punted the ball back to us after picking up one first down.

Tampa Bay’s punt gave us the ball at our own 13 with just over seven minutes remaining in the half. Berg quickly got us out the shadow of our own goalpost with a 17-yard pass to Artie Furman, which he followed with a 12-yard completion to Earl Thornton. Now with the hot hand, Berg went to the air again on our third play, and Furman’s 21-yard reception moved us to the Tampa 37. Staying aggressive, Berg found Chuck Farley on consecutive plays for 17 and 14 yards. Now with first-and-goal from the 6, we decided to change things up with a handoff to Ruiter that went for only a yard. Second down saw Berg overthrow Thornton on a fade route in the back corner of the end zone. On third down, Berg was off target again, this time underthrowing a pass to Ralph Randle. Not wanting to come away with nothing for our efforts, we opted for the safe field goal on fourth down, but even the safe option turned ugly when left end Marty Card blew through the line and blocked Hidalgo’s chip shot attempt, and Buccaneer cornerback Wesley Castleberry fell on the ball at the Tampa Bay 8.

Neither team would score in the remaining three minutes of the first half, and so we went into the half with the score knotted up at 7-7.

The second half started with a Tampa Bay three-and-out after linebacker Sam Viola nailed split end J.R. Dunlap on a reverse for a 7-yard loss. Despite taking over from the Tampa Bay 41, Berg and the offense could do nothing, and we were forced to punt the ball right back to the Bucs with another opportunity missed.

After Branch’s punt pinned the Buccaneers at their own 7 yard line, Dwight Norris directed the Bucs offense on a gut-wrenching 18-play drive that covered 93 yards and ate up 8 minutes of the clock before concluding with an 8-yard touchdown reception by tight end Andre Welch that put Tampa Bay up 14-7 with 4 minutes left in the third quarter.

Berg and the offense came out onto the field following the kickoff needing to move the ball and swing the momentum back in our direction. Instead they moved backwards on a false start and a Lonnie Ruiter run, and Frankie Branch was quickly called on again following a three-and-out.

Once again, Branch was able to pin the Bucs deep in there own territory, this time at their 6. Staying on the ground for the most part with Jon Adams, the Bucs were able to move the ball out to their 42 before we were able to force a punt.

With 13 minutes left in regulation, Berg and the offense took over from our 24. A quick strike to Farley on first down picked up 10 yards for us, but 2 short runs and an incompletion brought on the overworked punting unit.

This time, Branch shanked a short punt that covered just 39 yards, and J.R. Dunlap added insult to injury by returning it 22 yards to the Bucs 47. Passing on every down except for the time that he scrambled, Norris picked apart our defense in small chunks until he hit Barker for a 7-yard touchdown with 7:33 remaining in the game. With time running out, we found ourselves on the short end of a 21-7 score in a must-win game.

Following an incompletion on first down and an 8-yard run by Mitchell Horner on second down, Berg and the offense found themselves facing third-and-2 from our own 37. As Berg dropped back to pass, inside linebacker Skip Young burst past left guard Rusty Pleasant and sacked Berg for a 7-yard loss. Facing fourth-and-9 from our own thirty, we had no choice but to punt the ball away and hope that our beleaguered defense could somehow pull itself together and make a stand.

Looking to trample down whatever small hope that might have remained in our hearts, the Bucs went back to handing the ball off to Jon Adams and running the ball right down our throats. Seven plays later, the Bucs, having eaten up all but the final 2 minutes and 40 seconds of the game clock, tacked on a field goal to extend their lead to 24-7.

Perhaps mercifully, strong safety Frank Brock intercepted Berg’s second pass attempt of our ensuing possession, removing any oxygen from our last gasp, and the Bucs went on to complete a convincing 24-7 victory.

Key Performers:

Tampa QB Dwight Norris completed 21 of 29 passes for 157 yards and 2 TDs on his way to earning the Game MVP award.

Jon Adams ran the ball 27 times for 86 yards and a TD.

Berg completed 16 of 29 pass attempts for 168 yards, 1 TD, and 1 interception.

Lonnie Ruiter picked up just 38 yards on 10 carries.

Artie Furman gamely fought through his knee injury to catch 6 passes for 59 yards and 1 TD.

Sam Viola tried to do it all himself, but his 13 tackles and 3 assists were not enough to make a difference for us at the end of the day.

New Injuries:

WOLB Dexter Mincy suffered a concussion, but at least he’ll be able to forget this demoralizing loss. He will need a couple weeks to recover.

============================================
Washington (11-3) at Dallas (6-8)

Dallas once again unwittingly came to our aid as they defeated the Redskins 20-17 to keep us on top in the East.


============================================
The Playoff Picture

Washington’s loss to the Cowboys keeps us atop the NFC East, and lets the Cardinals slip past them into the fourth seed. The Rams took over the third seed from the Falcons, who now find themselves on the outside looking in at the playoff teams. While we are assured of a playoff spot at this point, a loss in Week 17 to the Jets could drop us to the fifth seed in the NFC… Still, we have nobody to blame but ourselves for our predicament. We had a chance to claim the top seed, and instead, we let the Bucs run right over us and take it for themselves.

No time for self-pity now. We need to beat the 4-11 Jets to maintain our hold on the second seed in the NFC.

1. Tampa Bay   12-3 

2. Gatesville  11-4 

3. St. Louis    9-6

4. Arizona     11-4

5. Washington  11-4

6. Chicago      9-6

------------------- 

7. Atlanta      7-6-2

8. New Orleans  8-7

[fantastic flying froggies]

Things were looking good after that 1st quarter, then everything just went downhill from there...

Don't worry, you'll get your revenge in the NFC conference final !!!

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by fantastic flying froggies

Things were looking good after that 1st quarter, then everything just went downhill from there...

Don't worry, you'll get your revenge in the NFC conference final !!!

With a bit of luck, the Bucs would lose in the Divisional Round, clearing the way for us to host the NFC championship game.

And allow us to face a team that has had less success against us.

[Kodos]

Week 17

New York (4-11) at Gatesville (11-4)
============================================

Attendance: 42,200 bought tickets, but 3,500 didn’t show up for perhaps my final regular season game as GM of the Pirates.

Injury Update:

All-pro cornerback Joel Harden returned for our regular season finale despite his bruised shoulder, while Jose Mason came back into the lineup at right end.

The Game:

A 28-yard touchdown pass from Teddy Kitna to Charles Owens threatened to make things interesting at 27-14 with 12 minutes left in the fourth quarter, but 5 minutes later, Artie Furman’s 8-yard touchdown catch finished the Jets off. A 40-14 victory closed out our regular season schedule and clinched the number two seed in the NFC for us, along with a first-round bye in the playoffs.

Key Performers:

Berg completed 19 of 33 passes for 264 yards and 3 TDs.

Lonnie Ruiter ran 21 times for 103 yards and a TD.

Earl Thornton caught 8 balls for 139 yards and 1 TD on his way to catching the Game MVP award.

Ralph Randle caught 3 passes for 73 yards and 1 TD.


============================================
Nebraska (3-12) at Dallas (7-8)

The Cowboys shut out the expansion Blizzards 27-0 to finish the season at 8-8.


Green Bay (6-9) at Tampa Bay (12-3)

The Bucs defeated the Packers 34-24 to improve their record to 13-3.


New England (9-7) at Washington (11-4)

Washington whipped the Patriots 31-7 to finish at 12-4.


Arizona (11-4) at Philly (6-9)

The Cardinals defeated the Eagles 36-22 to stay ahead of the Redskins in the playoff race and claim the number four seed.



============================================
The Playoff Picture

The Falcons swapped places with the Rams and claimed the third seed in the NFC by winning the NFC West, while everyone else maintained the status quo. The Rams went home for the winter.

1. Tampa Bay   13-3 

2. Gatesville  12-4 

3. Atlanta      8-6-2

4. Arizona     12-4

5. Washington  12-4

6. Chicago     10-6

------------------- 

7. St. Louis    9-7

8. New Orleans  9-7

[Kodos]

2017 Regular Season Final Standings

The football gods must be laughing their all-powerful heads off at me right now, as they have assembled what is perhaps the strongest playoff field that I have witnessed in all of my eighteen seasons as an NFL GM. Heck, even some of the AFC teams look good this year. Of course, this has to come in the season in which we absolutely must win it all for me to keep my damned job.

Ever get the feeling that somebody upstairs doesn’t like you? -- Somebody even more upstairs than Bill Gates?

 NFC East               W   L   T   Pct   PF    PA    Div     Conf  
**Gatesville            12  4   0   .750  454   247   9-1-0   10-3-0    
Arizona                 12  4   0   .750  434   315   7-3-0   10-3-0    
Washington              12  4   0   .750  436   236   6-4-0   9-4-0     
Dallas                  8   8   0   .500  299   323   5-5-0   7-6-0     
Philadelphia            6   10  0   .375  253   385   2-8-0   5-8-0     
Nebraska                3   13  0   .188  241   386   1-9-0   2-11-0    
   
 NFC Central            W   L   T   Pct   PF    PA    Div     Conf  
Tampa Bay               13  3   0   .813  352   250   8-2-0   10-3-0    
Chicago                 10  6   0   .625  314   247   7-3-0   9-4-0     
Green Bay               6   10  0   .375  328   316   4-6-0   6-7-0     
Detroit                 6   10  0   .375  298   344   4-6-0   5-8-0     
Grand Rapids            4   12  0   .250  191   360   4-6-0   4-9-0     
Minnesota               3   13  0   .188  196   364   3-7-0   3-10-0    
   
 NFC West               W   L   T   Pct   PF    PA    Div     Conf  
Atlanta                 8   6   2   .563  304   317   7-1-2   7-4-2     
St. Louis               9   7   0   .563  352   302   6-4-0   7-6-0     
New Orleans             9   7   0   .563  381   332   5-5-0   7-6-0     
Carolina                7   8   1   .469  321   326   4-5-1   6-6-1     
Richmond                6   9   1   .406  314   409   2-7-1   4-8-1     
San Francisco           5   11  0   .313  280   398   4-6-0   4-9-0
 
 
 AFC East               W   L   T   Pct   PF    PA    Div     Conf  
Des Moines              12  4   0   .750  353   285   9-1-0   10-3-0    
Buffalo                 10  6   0   .625  278   259   6-4-0   8-5-0     
New England             9   7   0   .563  302   278   5-5-0   7-6-0     
Indianapolis            6   9   1   .406  244   296   3-7-0   4-8-1     
Miami                   5   11  0   .313  278   323   5-5-0   5-8-0     
New York                4   12  0   .250  301   354   2-8-0   4-9-0     
   
 AFC Central            W   L   T   Pct   PF    PA    Div     Conf  
Cleveland               11  5   0   .688  337   251   7-3-0   10-3-0    
Pittsburgh              9   6   1   .594  413   307   7-3-0   8-4-1     
Tennessee               9   7   0   .563  258   297   5-5-0   6-7-0     
Cincinnati              8   8   0   .500  316   303   6-4-0   7-6-0     
Baltimore               6   10  0   .375  331   377   3-7-0   5-8-0     
Jacksonville            5   11  0   .313  268   336   2-8-0   3-10-0    
   
 AFC West               W   L   T   Pct   PF    PA    Div     Conf  
Wichita                 13  3   0   .813  371   195   7-3-0   10-3-0    
Denver                  12  4   0   .750  339   243   7-3-0   9-4-0     
Kansas City             10  6   0   .625  359   308   6-4-0   9-4-0     
Seattle                 8   8   0   .500  350   361   5-5-0   6-7-0     
San Diego               7   9   0   .438  244   308   5-5-0   5-8-0     
Oakland                 2   14  0   .125  213   365   0-10-0  0-13-0

[Kodos]

The 2017 Wild Card Matchups

AFC

On the AFC side, the Bills will make the short trip west to Cleveland, while Kansas City will be heading to Mile High Stadium to face their hated division rivals, the Broncos.

6. Buffalo    (10-6)  

3. Cleveland  (11-5) 

 

5. Kansas City  (10-6)  

4. Denver       (12-4)  

NFC

In our conference, the Falcons will play host to the Bears, while the Redskins will head into the desert to face the Cardinals in a winner-takes-all NFC East contest with a ticket to the next round at stake.

Our boys will gather at team headquarters in Gatesville to watch the Wild Card games as we rest up for the Divisional Round. Somewhere to the east, the Buccaneers will be doing the same. Over in Dallas, the Cowboys will be planning for another long offseason.

6. Chicago  (10-6)   

3. Atlanta  (8-6-2)  



5. Washington  (12-4) 

4. Arizona     (12-4)  

[fantastic flying froggies]

It's make or break time...
Good luck !

[Alf]

Go kodos !

[Godzilla Blitz]

It's playoff time! Yeah!

So sad that the Cowboys aren't here to enjoy it.

[Kodos]

Poor, poor Jerry.

Sorry again for the slow pace. Work has been really bad these past months.

[jerk3616]

I've been passed out in a huge pile of coke trying to catch up on this. Geez...a guy leaves a forum for a couple of years, and look what happens!

I'd ask if there were any tickets left for the upcoming Silicon Pirates game, but it seems that hasn't been a problem. Besides, I could cause some "trouble" for one of those no-show asshats to make sure I get my playoff ducats. I'm more afraid that the Chuck U. Farley foam fingers (Chuck 3:16?) might be sold out.

Go Pirates!

[Kodos]

The 2017 NFL Playoffs

Wild Card Round

AFC

On the AFC side of the bracket, the home teams were able to come out on top in highly-contested games to move on to the Divisional Round.

6. Buffalo    (10-6)  17

3. Cleveland  (11-5)  24

 

5. Kansas City  (10-6)  10

4. Denver       (12-4)  15

NFC

In the NFC, the home teams made it a perfect 4-0 for the weekend as they cruised to double-digit victories in both games. The top-seeded Buccaneers will draw the Cardinals, who had the most impressive showing of Wild Card Weekend. The Falcons will be coming to Gatesville in hopes of avenging the 44-7 thrashing that we administered to them back in Week 13 of the regular season.

6. Chicago  (10-6)   21

3. Atlanta  (8-6-2)  31



5. Washington  (12-4)  14

4. Arizona     (12-4)  36

It's do or die time, boys and girls!

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by jerk3616

I've been passed out in a huge pile of coke trying to catch up on this. Geez...a guy leaves a forum for a couple of years, and look what happens!

I'd ask if there were any tickets left for the upcoming Silicon Pirates game, but it seems that hasn't been a problem. Besides, I could cause some "trouble" for one of those no-show asshats to make sure I get my playoff ducats. I'm more afraid that the Chuck U. Farley foam fingers (Chuck 3:16?) might be sold out.

Go Pirates!

Tickets should be no problem, jerk3616! How many do you need - a few thousand perhaps?

[Kodos]

From: Kyle Diaz
To: Bill Gates & Kodos
Subject: Advance Scouting Report of the Atlanta Falcons

Injury Report:
Lester Duarte, T - Out
Sammy Werner, LB - Out
Dominic Shields, G - Probable
Tim Lowe, CB - Out
Riddick Bunzel, FB - Questionable
Lance Taylor, DE - Questionable
Karl Dockery, CB - Out
Billy Joe Roddy, WR - Out
Shannon Norton, T - Out
Dave Pate, S - Out
Heath Gilpin, C - Out

Offensive Overview:

Starting Quarterback: Ty Ackerman
268 for 469, 2789 yards, 11 TDs, 14 interceptions this season.
Excellent at throwing short passes.

Starting Running Back: Leland Mangum
252 carries for 1235 yards, 12 touchdowns this season.
Excellent breakaway runner.

Starting Flanker: Tim O'Neill
67 receptions for 833 yards, 4 touchdowns this season.
Good runner after the catch.

Starting Split End: Marshall Curtis
62 receptions for 742 yards, 2 touchdowns this season.
Very good runner after the catch.

Defensive Overview:

Starting Left Defensive End: Billy Peterson
13 tackles, 4 assists, 3.5 sacks this season.
Good pass-rusher.

Starting Right Defensive End: Isaac Osborne
26 tackles, 14 assists, 6.0 sacks this season.
Excellent defender against the run.

Starting Left Defensive Tackle: Joseph Stewart
40 tackles, 15 assists, 11.0 sacks this season.
Very good pass-rusher.

Starting Right Defensive Tackle: Randal Stanton
54 tackles, 16 assists, 4.0 sacks this season.
Very good defender against the run.

Starting Left Linebacker: David York
85 tackles, 31 assists, 7.0 sacks this season.
Excellent zone pass defender.

Starting Middle Linebacker: Bert Cruise
121 tackles, 33 assists, 1.0 sacks this season.
Very good zone pass defender.

Starting Right Linebacker: Reuben Farrell
21 tackles, 12 assists, 1.0 sacks this season.
Fair defender against the run.

Starting Top Cornerback: Shane Reynolds
45 tackles, 10 assists, 2 interceptions this season.
Very good pass intercepter.

Starting Second Cornerback: Bert Wilkens
33 tackles, 12 assists, 2 interceptions this season.
Very good pass intercepter.

Starting Free Safety: Gus Bleeck
34 tackles, 16 assists, 1 interceptions this season.
Very good pass intercepter.

Starting Strong Safety: Orlando Pettigrew
63 tackles, 22 assists, 3 interceptions this season.
Very good pass intercepter.

[Godzilla Blitz]

Gotta like the Pirates' chances when you see all those injuries to Atlanta's defensive backfield. Setting the stage for a banner day by Berg. And their offensive line looks banged up, too.

Prediction: Gatesville, in an easy win.

Go Pirates!

[jerk3616]

Thanks for the few thousand tickets. Now I can be like the guy who buys 2 extra plane tickets so he doesn't have to sit next to anyone. If some loser trys to sit in my section, there's going to be hell to pay! I should be easy to spot...I'll be the guy in the nosebleed section wearing my Chuck U. Farley foam finger and a strategically placed box of "Windows XP". I hope it's warm out, but who cares...I'll be on SportsCenter! Maybe I'll streak, too...

I can afford these tickets, right? If not, I guess it's jock-strap laundering and post-game back-hair shaving of football players for me. I hate it when that happens.

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by Godzilla Blitz

Prediction: Gatesville, in an easy win.

You do realize that you've just jinxed us, yes?

Jerk: I'm pretty sure that if you wear your assless chaps, you'll have no problem getting a section all to yourself. Unless JeeberD attends the game!

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Kodos

You do realize that you've just jinxed us, yes?

Jerk: I'm pretty sure that if you wear your assless chaps, you'll have no problem getting a section all to yourself. Unless JeeberD attends the game!

He's just bitter because you finally got back to the only dynasty on the board that rivals his (well, I'd put the Blizzards in that same category with you guys but some won't). He just wants you killed off for good so he can have all the Golden Scribes to himself

SI

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

He's just bitter because you finally got back to the only dynasty on the board that rivals his (well, I'd put the Blizzards in that same category with you guys but some won't). He just wants you killed off for good so he can have all the Golden Scribes to himself

SI

He'll have a chance to kill me in his own dynasty soon enough.

The Blizzards dynasty definitely deserves a lot of recognition. It was one of the most creative dynasties out there and is one of my personal favorites.

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Kodos

He'll have a chance to kill me in his own dynasty soon enough.

The Blizzards dynasty definitely deserves a lot of recognition. It was one of the most creative dynasties out there and is one of my personal favorites.

Yeah, I noticed you'll be the first off the spaceship at Mars. I'll be happily hiding in my lab and workshop. Enjoy.

SI

[jerk3616]

Originally Posted by Kodos

You do realize that you've just jinxed us, yes?

Jerk: I'm pretty sure that if you wear your assless chaps, you'll have no problem getting a section all to yourself.

I find the feel of aluminum bleacher seats on my cheeks liberating...

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by jerk3616

I find the feel of aluminum bleacher seats on my cheeks liberating...

Sorry. Our stadium was built as cheaply as possible. Wood bleachers. I hope you don't get any unfortunately-placed splinters!

[Godzilla Blitz]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

He's just bitter because you finally got back to the only dynasty on the board that rivals his (well, I'd put the Blizzards in that same category with you guys but some won't). He just wants you killed off for good so he can have all the Golden Scribes to himself

Damn. I've been found out.

I didn't think a prediction would jinx the Pirates, but still, if they lose to Atlanta I'd feel awful.

[Kodos]

The 2017 NFL Playoffs

Divisional Round

AFC

The Browns provided the first upset of the 2017 Playoffs by traveling to Des Moines and coming away with a 28-21 victory. In Wichita, the Broncos came up just short of the upset in a 16-13 loss that sent them home for the winter.

3. Cleveland   (12-5)  28

2. Des Moines  (12-4)  21



4. Denver   (13-4)  13

1. Wichita  (13-3)  16

NFC

The Cardinals must have emptied the tank in their Wild Card victory over the Redskins, as the Bucs rolled right over them for a 27-0 victory that advanced them to the NFC Championship game. So much for the Bucs losing and giving us an easier road to the championship...

4. Arizona    (13-4)   0

1. Tampa Bay  (13-3)  27

Our game against the Falcons is coming up tonight. Stay tuned!

[jerk3616]

I'm already at the stadium tailgating. I'm finding no one wants to tailgate with the guy who has a box of software covering his bits 'n' pieces. Granted, this is my first Silicon Pirates game in a while, but it's not my fault the state mental hospital lost my release papers for a couple of years. Go Pirates!

[Alf]

I've brought beer for the tailgate party !

[Kodos]

This may be off topic, but why do Europeans put spaces before punctuation ?

[Alf]

I find it easier to read. <= although here I wouldn't put a space, whereas here I will !

[Nyarlahotep]

Originally Posted by Kodos

This may be off topic, but why do Europeans put spaces before punctuation ?

Why do aliens question what Europeans do?

[Godzilla Blitz]

Apparently the earlier playoff game has gone into overtime, and ESPN has delayed the start of this one. That must be it.

Stomps feet to keep warm. Orders another beer. Watches cheerleaders. Damn, Texas has some fine women.