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08-06-2003, 10:41 PM
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#51 | ||
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Iowa City, IA
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Man if I were you Kodos, I would probe that bitch
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08-07-2003, 01:02 AM
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#52 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Maybe, but only if I get to use somebody else's "probe."
Last edited by Kodos : 08-07-2003 at 01:05 AM. |
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08-07-2003, 01:13 AM
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#53 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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2017 Season Ticket Sales
Even though Bibi’s column ultimately failed to get me arrested, she did manage to screw me over bigtime in another way, as our season ticket sales plummeted from 37,600 in 2016 to 32,000 in 2017, despite the fact that we were coming off of our third Super Bowl win in four years, and despite the fact that we had slashed ticket prices by 20 percent across the board. Call me crazy, but I just have to believe that the close to 10,000 cancellation requests we received in the days following her bile-filled personal attack could be attributed directly to her little smear campaign.  |
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08-07-2003, 01:14 AM
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#54 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Trade
Doing my best to keep my mind off of the woeful state of my existence, I went about the business of shopping backup QB Kerry Ondre, who was in the final year of his original contract. The Cowboys were among those who expressed an interest in him, but ultimately we sent Ondre and our fifth round pick in 2018 to the Bills in exchange for their third round pick in 2018. |
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08-07-2003, 01:21 AM
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#55 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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2017 Preseason
Gatesville It would be a fair assessment to say that our preseason performance was uninspiring. While we never got pasted, we did find a way to lose three close games. In winning just one game out of four, we managed to finish behind everyone in the NFC East, including the expansion Nebraska Blizzards. Though nobody from inside the organization was pointing any fingers at me, I couldn’t help but wonder if my presence wasn’t hampering our guys’ ability to focus. The news from the preseason wasn’t all bad, as receiver Ty Robbins and linebacker Sam Viola both had good showings. Backup QB Dana Alston also performed decently enough following the departure of Kerry Ondre to give us some confidence in him. Code:
Dallas The Cowboys, in contrast, managed to win their close games en route to a 3-1 preseason campaign. Time would tell whether that would translate into a good regular season for Jerry’s Merry Band of Thugs. Code:
Final Exhibition Standings Code:
Key Injuries While we only sustained one significant injury during the preseason, the one we did incur came in an area of weakness. Starting left cornerback Joel Harden fell victim to a turf toe injury that threatened sideline him for up to 5 weeks. Just what our weak secondary didn’t need. Former starting flanker Earl Thornton’s torn rotator cuff looked to need another 2-3 months to heal up properly. Last edited by Kodos : 10-15-2006 at 09:29 PM. |
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08-07-2003, 01:30 AM
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#56 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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2017 Schedules
Gatesville The scheduling gods (or perhaps merely league commissioner C. Montgomery Burns) decided hop right on to the anti-Kodos bandwagon and smite me, as they gave us only one home game in the first five weeks. Just for good measure, they also elected to send us on the road for three games in our final four weeks. The numerous home games occurring during the middle of the season looked to provide the silver lining in this particular cloud.
Dallas The first thing that I thought when I saw the Cowboys’ schedule was how great it would be if the expansion Blizzards were to somehow able to knock the Cowboys out of playoff contention in Week 17. Wouldn’t that just put a big old grin on your grill?!
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08-07-2003, 01:42 AM
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#57 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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2017 Starting Lineups
Offense Lonnie Ruiter stepped into the vacuum that was left at runningback by the departure of Herb Matthews. Likewise, second year receiver Artie Furman ascended to the starting job at flanker in place of injured veteran Earl Thornton. At right guard, the aging Darren Cruise held off up-and-comer Zack Terrell to keep his job as the starter for one more season. Otherwise, the usual suspects could be found in their usual places in our high-powered offense. QB – Devin Bergeron RB – Lonnie Ruiter FB – Levon Wallace TE – Chuck Farley FL – Artie Furman SE – Ralph Randle LT – Albert Alexander LG – Rusty Pleasant C - Gene Flannery RG – Darren Cruise RT – Terrance Read Defense Due to the turf-toe injury to Joel Harden, rookie CB Ralph Scurlock started off the season as our number one corner. At linebacker, Kurt Robertson shifted over to the strong outside linebacker position to replace the departed Terrance Fuller, while Dexter Mincy stepped up into the starting role on the weak side. Third year man Sam Viola and cagey veteran Al Ingram teamed up to police the interior of our 3-4 defense. Isaac Shaye replaced Alan Hines as the starter at strong safety, but Hines and Timothy Whalen both figured heavily in the plans at strong safety during the season, as we continued our strong-safety-by-committee approach. At right end, Jose Mason took over for 2016 starter Frankie Farley in an effort to conserve Farley’s energy for pass-rushing situations. LE – Dusty Szilter NT – Paul Everett RE – Jose Mason WOLB – Dexter Mincy WILB – Sam Viola SILB – Al Ingram SOLB – Kurt Robertson LCB – Joel Harden RCB – Ralph Scurlock FS – Dave Sanders SS – Isaac Shaye With the offseason from hell mercifully over at long last, we were now ready to kickoff the 2017 campaign, which would quite possibly be my last as GM of the Gatesville Silicon Pirates. Still, with great players such as Berg, Farley, Randle, Furman, Harden, Viola and Sanders ready to head into battle to save my ass, I felt a certain confidence about the future. Somewhere, deep inside, I believed that the Cosmos owed me some measure of good fortune to balance out my recent miserable run of bad luck. Last edited by Kodos : 08-07-2003 at 01:45 AM. |
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08-07-2003, 03:39 AM
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#58 |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Willow Glen, CA
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It's been a while since I've caught up with your dynasty Kodos...but you've done a more than admirable job in my absence
 Keep up the good work!
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Every time a Dodger scores a run, an angel has its wings ripped off by a demon, and is forced to tearfully beg the demon to cauterize the wounds.The demon will refuse, and the sobbing angel will lie in a puddle of angel blood and feathers for eternity, wondering why the Dodgers are allowed to score runs.That’s not me talking: that’s science. McCoveyChronicles.com. |
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08-07-2003, 05:08 AM
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#59 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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I definately echo the sentiments of everyone else here. Great work on one of the greatest dynastys ever. The fact that it was back completely slipped under my radar but now I'm all caught up
SI
__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" |
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08-07-2003, 08:54 AM
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#60 |
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Team Chaplain
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
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yessss....the compound is pleased.
Somebody pass "Murph" another beer. He's starting to ramble about 'the light at the end of the tunnel' again. Thanks. Keep up the good work, Kodos!
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Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL! I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference. |
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08-07-2003, 10:51 AM
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#61 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Thanks guys. I should be able to post our game against the Cards today. Here's hoping we get off to a good start!
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08-07-2003, 11:13 PM
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#62 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Week 1
Arizona (0-0) at Gatesville (0-0) ============================================ Attendance: 40,000 bought tickets for our season opener at Bill Gates stadium, but 2,600, perhaps discouraged by the anti-Kodos picketers who marched in front of the entry gates, didn’t bother to show up. Injury Update: With Joel Harden out with turf toe, we were forced to start rookie cornerback Ralph Scurlock at LCB, while Timothy Whalen started at RCB. The Game: The thermometer read 102 degrees at kickoff, but the Cardinals appeared unfazed by the heat during the pre-game warm-ups. After a slow first quarter that saw us trade field goals with the Cards, Berg hooked up with Ralph Randle for 14 yards for his first touchdown pass of the regular season, and we were up 10-3 with 9 seconds elapsed in the second quarter. From there, a Dave Sanders interception set up Broderick Hidalgo’s second field goal of the day, which extended our lead to 13-3 going into the half. Late in the third quarter Chuck Farley caught a laser over the middle and barreled his way through a couple of Cardinal defenders to reach the end zone from 11 yards out to give us a 20-3 lead. Five minutes later, Isaac Shaye’s early fourth quarter interception set up rookie RB Dominic Hernandez’s first NFL touchdown run, which effectively eliminated all doubt about the final outcome of the game. When the final gun sounded, we had prevailed 33-10 over our NFC East foes. Key Performers: Berg completed 16 of 30 attempts for 184 yards and 2 TDs in his first outing of 2017, while he also ran the ball 8 times for 44 yards. Lonnie Ruiter toted the ball 16 times for 93 yards in his first start. Chuck Farley caught 2 balls for 12 yards and 1 TD in the season opener. Sam Viola registered 10 tackles and 1 assist to lead all tacklers. New Injuries: Left guard Rusty Pleasant’s newly sprained ankle looked to require a couple of weeks to fully heal. ============================================ Dallas (0-0) at New York (0-0) The Jets put up a good fight against the visiting Cowboys, but sadly came up just short in a 19-16 decision. Last edited by Kodos : 08-07-2003 at 11:17 PM. |
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08-07-2003, 11:13 PM
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#63 |
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Mascot
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Maryland
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Nebraska...IN THE NFC EAST?! What are they smokin?
Then again, it could be worse. It could be the Cards.
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"From Rags to Riches": The 2004 Baltimore Orioles Southern Reservation Tour (Note: Not all tour dates were played in the south. Unfortunately, they had to go to Canada too.) Opening Acts: Ben McDonald's Gopher Ball Band, The Disabled List (feat. David Segui & Glenn Davis), The CAL-VINE! Tribute Band, plus a cast of dozens!! FINAL RECORD: 78-84. I think we're getting there. Now, it's time to get some pitching over the winter. FEAR MIGGY & THE ORIOLE IN 2005, BABY!! |
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08-07-2003, 11:16 PM
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#64 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Or the Atlanta Falcons in the West.
 At least they finally fixed that. |
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08-07-2003, 11:21 PM
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#65 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Week 2
Gatesville (1-0) at Richmond (0-1) ============================================ Injury Update: Against his wishes, we decided to hold all-pro cornerback Joel Harden out for another week against the Wranglers instead of risking him aggravating the turf toe injury. The Game: I will spare you from having to read all of the gory details of our horrible performance against Richmond. Berg threw three interceptions, Hidalgo missed two field goals, and the Wranglers held us to just 27 yards rushing and 72 yards passing in the first half. Our ineptness was apparent in all phases of the game, as a roughing the kicker call set up a Percy Sampson to Juan Burton touchdown in the third quarter that made it 20-3 in their favor. When the dust finally settled, former Silicon Pirate running back Michael Lazetti had exacted his proverbial pound of flesh from us in a 30-11 rout. Key Performers: Lazetti carried the ball 18 times for 66 yards and 1 TD against his former teammates. Berg completed just 17 of 34 passes for 228 yards, 1 TD, and 3 interceptions. Lonnie Ruiter and Dominic Hernandez combined for 12 carries that netted just 8 yards. Artie Furman did what he could to help our cause by catching 8 passes for 147 yards and 1 TD, but it ultimately didn’t make a lick of difference for us. Sam Viola made 10 tackles on the day. ============================================ Philadelphia (0-1) at Dallas (1-0) To add a little salt to our wounds, the Cowboys moved to 2-0 with a 17-14 victory over the Eagles. Crap.  |
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08-08-2003, 05:44 AM
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#66 |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Rennes, France
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Crap. Hope you will still get to the playoffs in order to defend your Title & Job in Gatesville
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08-08-2003, 08:20 PM
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#67 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Week 3
Gatesville (1-1) at Nebraska (1-1) ============================================ Injury Update: The left side of our offensive line was on the sidelines coming into our Week 3 game, as we held out left guard Rusty Pleasant (sprained ankle) and left tackle Albert Alexander (hyper-extended elbow) as a precaution. In a bit of good news, our medical staff informed us that Earl Thornton’s return would probably come in 3 to 5 weeks. The Game: I couldn’t help but feel a little bit bitter when I saw the 68,900 fans who were on hand for our first game against the expansion Nebraska Blizzards in Lincoln. However, I left their fancy new stadium with a big smile on my face, as we took down their heroes with ease in a 50-6 victory. Key Performers: Berg, apparently still pissed off about the Richmond debacle of Week 2, ate the inexperienced Blizzard secondary alive, completing 24 of 38 passes for 357 yards and 4 touchdowns. Ralph Randle was the recipient of 10 of those completions for an impressive 173 yards and a TD. Dave Sanders recorded 4 tackles and 1 assist, but his biggest contributions came in the form of 2 interceptions, one of which he took back 74 yards for a TD. Artie Furman, Ty Robbins, and tight end Mitchell Horner all pulled in one touchdown each. New Injuries: Old Chuck Farley got his bell rung by one of the Blizzard linebackers, and will need a couple of weeks to fully recover from his concussion. ============================================ The Cowboys had a bye in Week 3. Last edited by Kodos : 10-18-2003 at 01:37 PM. |
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08-08-2003, 08:24 PM
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#68 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Week 4
Dallas (2-0) at Arizona (2-1) During our bye week, the Cardinals beat the Cowboys 31-25 to drop them down into a tie with us at 2-1. |
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08-08-2003, 08:39 PM
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#69 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Week 5
Gatesville (2-1) at Washington (2-1) ============================================ Injury Update: In a big boost for our secondary, Joel Harden made his 2017 regular season debut against the Redskins. Left tackle Albert Alexander and left guard Rusty Pleasant also were healthy enough to return to the starting lineup. The Game: Ben Berry put our division rivals on top 7-0 in the first quarter with a 6-yard touchdown pass to Justin Cash, but Berg's short pass to fullback Levon Wallace three minutes into the second quarter tied the game up at 7-7. Unfortunately, Redskin safety Kelvin Cave’s interception of a Berg pass in the end zone with 1 minute left until the intermission prevented us from taking the lead before the half. The third quarter saw us take our first lead of the day on a 30-yard Hidalgo field goal, but a chance to extend that lead further was squandered when Berg got picked off again the in the end zone, this time by safety Cris Lockett. Berg got back on track in the fourth quarter, as he connected with flanker Artie Furman for a 13-yard touchdown with twelve and a half minutes left in the game to make the score 17-7 in our favor. Rookie right cornerback Ralph Scurlock’s 55-yard interception return with five minutes left set up a 7-yard Berg to Robbins touchdown that made it 24-7. One minute later, Berry had the Skins back in the end zone with a 24-yard strike to Terrance Ingle, but it was too little, too late, as we held on for a 24-14 victory, and improved our record to 3-1 overall and 3-0 in the NFC East. Key Performers: Berg captured the Game MVP award by connecting on 25 of 35 attempts for 245 yards and 3 TDs, but he also threw 2 interceptions. Lonnie Ruiter ran the ball 15 times for 75 yards. Artie Furman caught 5 passes for 50 yards and 1 TD. Ty Robbins pulled in 4 passes for 53 yards and a score. Sam Viola continued a fine season with 11 tackles on the day. ============================================ Dallas (2-1) at Nebraska (1-3) The Blizzards fared a little bit better against Jerry’s dastardly Cowboys, but still lost 30-10. |
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08-11-2003, 01:07 PM
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#70 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Week 6
Philly (1-4) at Gatesville (3-1) ============================================ Attendance: 39,400 bought tickets, but 3,500, perhaps dissuaded by the anti-Kodos picket lines, opted to stay home. The Game: Lonnie Ruiter ran for 2 TDs and Berg passed for 2 more en route to a 30-0 shutout of the Eagles that moved our NFC East record to 4-0. For the game, we held the woeful Eagles squad to just 55 passing yards and 36 yards on the ground. Key Performers: Sam Viola got the Game MVP award for his 5 tackles, 1 assist, and 1 sack, but what clinched it for him was the interception that he returned for 31 yards. Lonnie Ruiter ran 13 times for 64 yards and 2 TDs. Berg hit on 20 of 32 pass attempts for 217 yards and 2 TDs. Chuck Farley broke the century mark with 7 catches for 101 yards. Way to go, Chuck! ============================================ Richmond (2-3) at Dallas (3-1) The Wranglers, who had managed to blow us out in Week 2, were sadly unable to pull off a similar feat in Dallas, as they succumbed 27-20 to the Cowboys. Last edited by Kodos : 08-11-2003 at 01:10 PM. |
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08-12-2003, 06:58 PM
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#71 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Week 7
Gatesville (4-1) at Arizona (5-1) ============================================ The Game: Despite our easy 33-10 victory over the division-leading Cardinals in Week 1, we quickly found ourselves in a dogfight with them Week 7. Terry Zink’s 30-yard touchdown pass to Kerry Beede put the Cards up 7-0 just three minutes into the game. In response, Berg led the offense on a 15-play, 77-yard drive that ate up almost 8 minutes of the clock, and ended with a 3-yard touchdown pass to rookie running back Dominic Hernandez. However, it took Zink just 7 plays to reach our end zone again on an 18-yard pass to Lester Kirk that gave them a 14-7 lead. Not to be outdone, Pirate kick return specialist Scott Cooley took the ensuing kickoff the distance for a 95-yard touchdown to knot things back up at 14-14. Just when it seemed like the first-quarter fireworks might be over, Conrad Wyoming returned Broderick Hidalgo’s kickoff 38 yards to set the Cardinals up at our 46. Zink’s 44-yard bomb to Clifton Aleman on first down set up Lester Kirk’s second touchdown catch of the day, which capped a 2-play, 54-yard drive. At the end of one quarter, we found ourselves on the short end of a 21-14 score. We caught a break in the second quarter, as Cardinal placekicker David Ledyard missed a chip-shot 31-yard field goal attempt that left us only down by seven, 21-14. Our luck would not hold, though, as the Cardinals kept us off the board for the rest of the half, and Zink hooked up with rookie tight end Quinn Benton for a 2-yard touchdown to send us into the half trailing 28-14. David Ledyard provided the only score of the third quarter with a 36-yard field goal that sank us deeper into our hole, 31-14. Antoine Dugans’ 68-yard punt return for a score gave us new life with 14:42 left in the game. Now trailing just 31-21, we knew we still had a chance. On the Cards' next drive, our defense was able to quickly put the brakes on Zink and the offense, forcing a punt. Starting from our 42 with twelve minutes left, Berg led an 11-play drive that ended with an 11-yard touchdown pass to Ralph Randle, which drew us to within a field goal, 31-28, with 6:13 left on the clock. Now nursing a 3-point lead, the formerly raucous Arizona crowd had grown silent. Terry Zink and the Cardinal offense took to the field looking to eat up the rest of the time on the clock, and eat it up they did. Try as they might, our defense just couldn’t get the ball back for our offense, and with 25 seconds left, Terry Zink, having forced us to burn all of our time outs, was able to take a knee on our 12 to secure Arizona's victory. With the win, the Cardinals strengthened their grip on the NFC East by moving to 6-1, while we dropped to 4-2. Key Performers: Berg completed 21 of 31 passes for 188 yards and 2 TDs in a losing effort. Our ground game was simply atrocious, as Ruiter, Hernandez, and Wallace combined for just 26 yards on 10 carries. Artie Furman caught 7 passes for 63 yards. ============================================ Tampa Bay (6-0) at Dallas (4-1) The league champion Buccaneers came into Dallas looking to remain undefeated, but went home with a 23-17 loss.  Last edited by Kodos : 08-12-2003 at 07:10 PM. |
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08-12-2003, 07:13 PM
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#72 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Speaking of the Cowboys, they're up next for us. Go Gatesville!
From: Kyle Diaz To: Bill Gates & Kodos Subject: Advance Scouting Report of the Dallas Cowboys. Injury Report: Dale Corbett, WR - Questionable Sean Ross, DT - Questionable Damon Tanner, CB - Out Gilbert Hooper, FB - Probable Edwin Lindsay, LB - Questionable Scott Turnbull, CB - Probable Offensive Overview: Starting Quarterback: Tracy Mazurek 105 for 173, 1363 yards, 11 TDs, 1 interceptions this season. Excellent at throwing short passes. Starting Running Back: Claude Flaherty 72 carries for 309 yards, 2 touchdowns this season. Very good short distance runner. Starting Flanker: Gino Burroughs 26 receptions for 332 yards, 3 touchdowns this season. Very good hands. Starting Split End: Alvin Coleman 35 receptions for 547 yards, 2 touchdowns this season. Very good runner after the catch. Defensive Overview: Starting Left Defensive End: Marlon Linquist 13 tackles, 6 assists, 2.0 sacks this season. Good defender against the run. Starting Right Defensive End: Winston Wayne 13 tackles, 3 assists, 3.5 sacks this season. Very good pass-rusher. Starting Nose Tackle: Sean Ross 3 tackles, 5 assists, 0.0 sacks this season. Very good pass-rusher. Starting Left Outside Linebacker: Jamal McElroy 31 tackles, 11 assists, 1.0 sacks this season. Very good man-to-man pass defender. Starting Left Inside Linebacker: Troy Tompkins 32 tackles, 17 assists, 0.0 sacks this season. Very good pass-rusher. Starting Right Inside Linebacker: Toby Nemeth 21 tackles, 3 assists, 0.0 sacks this season. No real strengths to speak of. Starting Right Outside Linebacker: Terrance Hoyle 15 tackles, 3 assists, 1.0 sacks this season. No real strengths to speak of. Starting Top Cornerback: Joel Flannery 21 tackles, 4 assists, 0 interceptions this season. Very good zone pass defender. Starting Second Cornerback: Jerome McCarthy 15 tackles, 1 assists, 1 interceptions this season. Very good pass intercepter. Starting Free Safety: Greg Drayson 33 tackles, 10 assists, 3 interceptions this season. Excellent man-to-man pass defender. Starting Strong Safety: Harvey Casillas 32 tackles, 8 assists, 1 interceptions this season. Good zone pass defender. |
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08-13-2003, 12:03 PM
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#73 | |
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Strategy Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: North Carolina
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geez, can you say "must win game?"
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Quote:
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08-13-2003, 12:46 PM
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#74 |
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General Manager
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: The Town of Flower Mound
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Go Cowboys!
[ducks]
__________________
UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO |
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08-13-2003, 12:59 PM
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#75 | |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Quote:
I agree wholeheartedly, Jee berD! |
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08-13-2003, 01:18 PM
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#76 |
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General Manager
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: The Town of Flower Mound
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Ooh, I kinda like it when you Fritz me...
__________________
UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO |
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08-14-2003, 08:09 PM
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#77 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Week 8
Dallas (5-1) at Gatesville (4-2) ============================================ Attendance: 44,700 tickets were sold for our first Cowboys showdown of 2017. Of those, 1,700 failed to show up at Bill Gates Stadium. The Game: We came into our showdown with the Cowboys in an unusual position for us. Instead of being in first place in the NFC East, as we had become accustomed to over the years, we found ourselves in third place trailing both the Cards and the Cowboys. Jerry Jones had been gloating all week to the press about being ahead of us. A loss to the Cowboys would be a major blow to our hopes of retaining the division crown, not to mention our hopes of making the playoffs. Or keeping me out of the unemployment lines. Clearly, losing was not an option. Things started off badly when Al Ingram went down with a knee injury on the Cowboy’s very first play. Big Al isn’t one to show pain, but you could tell by the look on his face that the injury was serious. From there, it only got worse as the Cowboys proceeded to take their opening possession 86 yards, mostly on the arm of Tracy Mazurek. Eventually, Claude Flaherty’s 4-yard plunge off of right tackle put them into the end zone and gave them a 7-0 lead. We started off our opening possession we three consecutive runs by Lonnie Ruiter, who is also know as “The Cowboy Killer” ‘round these parts. True to form, Ruiter’s third run went for 24-yards behind pulling guard Rusty Pleasant, and we quickly found ourselves at midfield. Unfortunately, a holding call on our next play put the offense in a hole which they couldn’t climb out of, and on came Frankie Branch to punt the ball away. This time out, our defense fared better, and the Cowboys were unable to match the success of their first drive. After moving backwards three yards, they were forced to punt it back to us with just under seven minutes left in the first quarter. Sadly, Cowboy defensive end Winston Waynes’ 6-yard sack on first down set our offense up for a quick three-and-out. The Cowboys took possession of the ball once again following another Branch punt, but on the eighth play of the drive, WILB Sam Viola punched the ball out of running back Deion Rogers’ hands, and right cornerback Ralph Scurlock fell on it at our 35. With 2 minutes left in the opening quarter, Berg scrambled for 7 yards on first down. Next, Ruiter skipped around the left side of the line and burst upfield for a 28-yard pickup that moved us to the Cowboy 30. The offense continued with a fresh set of downs, but a short running loss by Ruiter and an incompletion set us up with third-and-11 from the Cowboys’ 31. Showing great confidence in his arm, Berg rifled a pass to Ralph Randle despite double coverage for a 21-yard gain and a first down at the Cowboy 10. Once again, Ruiter was stopped in our backfield on first down, but Berg was able to find Randle in the back of the end zone on second down for a 12-yard touchdown that tied the game at 7-7 early in the second quarter. Following another Dallas three-and-out and a short punt, it took our offense just 4 plays to find paydirt again, as a 25-yard Ralph Randle reception set up a 7-yard Artie Furman touchdown grab that gave us our first lead of the day, 14-7. Needing an answer to our 14-point run on their next drive, the Cowboys found one in the form of Deion Rogers, who ran the ball in from our 5 yard line to cap an 11-play, 80-yard drive. Once again the game was tied at 14-14. A false start led to a quick three-and-out for our offense, and with the second quarter winding down, the Cowboys capitalized on good field position to set up a 53-yard Bo Atkins field goal which gave them a 17-14 lead at the half. Our opening possession of the second half was going well until veteran cornerback Joel Flannery broke on a Bergeron pass on the Cowboys’ 23 and got himself an interception. We quickly returned the favor, as Sam Viola picked off Mazurek’s pass on first down, and proceeded to duck and weave his way 31 yards to the end zone to put us back on top, 21-17. After trading unsuccessful drives with the Cowboys, we were able to put together a 61-yard drive near the end of the third quarter that finished with a 17-yard Lonnie Ruiter touchdown run that blasted right through the heart of the Cowboy defense. The fourth quarter began with us in good shape with a 28-17 lead. Following another uninspiring possession by the Cowboys’ offense, a nice punt return by Antoine Dugans put us in Cowboy’s territory once again at their 48. An 18-yard completion to Randle and a 23-yard run by Lonnie Ruiter moved us deep into the red zone, but then the Cowboy defense stiffened, and we settled for a 21-yard Hidalgo field goal that made it 31-17 with thirteen minutes remaining. A short kickoff by Hidalgo set up a 24-yard Colin Schwartz return to our 37, and on the very next play, Tracy Mazurek hit a streaking Horace Bernstein in stride, and Bernstein took it all the way for 6. After Atkins’ extra point, our lead had been cut to seven, 31-24. Our ensuing drive started off well with a 16-yard completion to Chuck Farley, and 2 plays later, Farley’s number was called again for a 9-yard gain and another first down. From there, three straight runs netted us only 2 yards, and we were forced to punt it back to the Cowboys. With 9:20 left to go, the Cowboy’s took possession of the ball from their own 18. First down saw Claude Flaherty run around right end for 12 yards. Colin Schwartz got the next handoff, but left end Dusty Szilter was there to nail him in the backfield for a short loss. On second down, the Cowboys went back to Flaherty, who ran off of left tackle this time for 6 yards to bring up third-and-6. Mazurek was able to move the chains by hitting Berstein for a 10-yard gain. Eating up small chunks of real estate with each play, Mazurek patiently moved his team down the field through the air. The Cowboys had moved the ball to our 28 when Mazurek went down with an injury on second-and-10. Undaunted, backup QB Walt Reilly stepped in and hit split end Alvin Coleman, who took it to our 11 en route to another Cowboy first down. From just outside of our 10 yard line, Reilly tried to hit flanker Gino Burroughs across the middle, but Sam Viola was there to knock the ball away. On second down, Reilly went back to Coleman, and this time nobody was there to knock it down, and Coleman caught it in the back corner for a touchdown that tied the game at 31-31 with four-and-a-half minutes remaining in regulation. Scott Cooley returned the kickoff 18 yards to our 27 to set our offense up with decent field position to start the next drive. With the game now deadlocked, Berg and the offense took to the field looking to pull out a win against our hated intrastate rivals. First down saw Berg zip the ball to Farley down the middle for a 12-yard gain. Next, Lonnie Ruiter got the ball on the ground, but was held to just a 2-yard gain. With his receivers blanketed on second down, Berg tucked the ball away and scrambled for 6 yards to set up third-and-3. Needing to convert to keep the drive going, Berg hit Ruiter coming out of the backfield for an 11-yard pickup and a fresh set of downs. Another run by Berg picked up 5 yards on first down and took us to the Cowboys’ 38 as we hit two minute warning. We kept it on the ground on second-and-5, and Ruiter broke a couple of tackles behind Darren Cruise on his way to another first down at the Cowboy 27. Ruiter got the call again on the next play, but this time first-year linebacker Terrance Hoyle was there to stop him for a 3-yard loss. With less than a minute left, Berg handed it to Ruiter again on second-and-13. This time, Ruiter took it straight up the middle for a 19-yard gain to the delight of our undersized crowd. For the fourth play in a row, we handed the ball to Ruiter, who followed left guard Rusty Pleasant for a 7-yard gain that took us to the Cowboy 4 with 40 seconds remaining in regulation. On second-and-3, with the defense zoning in on Ruiter, Berg faked handing it off to Ruiter, who smashed into the right side of the line, and instead flipped it to Levon Wallace, who ran the ball in untouched off of left guard. Touchdown Pirates! Hidalgo’s extra point sailed true to put us on top 38-31 with just 21 seconds left in the game. Colin Schwartz’s dodging, weaving kickoff return was good for 30 yards out to the Cowboy 35, but left the Boys with just 6 seconds on the clock to move the ball 65 yards. With no other option available, Walt Reilly dropped back on first down and heaved a prayer into the Gatesville sky in the direction of Gino Burroughs, but free safety Dave Sanders was there to knock it down and preserve the win for the good guys! Final score: Pirates 38, Cowboys 31. While the Cowboys had actually given us a run for the money for once, they had sadly fallen short of victory once again. Such a shame! The win moved us ahead of the Cowboys and into second place in the East by virtue of our head-to-head victory. Watching Jerry Jones storm past the throngs of reporters and into the tunnel following the final gun was almost enough to make me forget my own precarious situation for a moment… Key Performers: Sam Viola garnered the Game MVP award on the strength of his 8 tackles, 2 assists, and 2 sacks, but the interception which he took back for a touchdown didn’t hurt either. Not too shabby! I think someday they may look back on this one as the game that elevated Viola to superstar status in the NFL. For his part, Berg hit on 15 of 29 attempts for 218 yards, 2 TDs, and 1 interception. He also ran 7 times for 37 yards. Lonnie “The Cowboy Killer” Ruiter ran the ball 19 times for 160 yards and a TD. True to his nickname, Ruiter was especially effective during our game-winning drive. Ralph Randle caught 5 passes for 92 yards and a score. Artie Furman caught 4 passes for 55 yards and 1 TD. New Injuries: Al Ingram’s injury unfortunately turned out to be quite serious – a dislocated knee. The doctors said that he might make it back in time for the playoffs, but I had my doubts. In fact, part of me wondered if we had seen Big Al play in his last game… Right end Jose Mason broke his jaw, but doctors said that it would heal up by the playoffs. Backup safety Alan Hines suffered a hyper-extended knee. |
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08-14-2003, 09:44 PM
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#78 |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Iowa City, IA
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Huge win!
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08-14-2003, 11:14 PM
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#79 |
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College Starter
Join Date: Oct 2000
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High drama in Gatesville! Good job!
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08-15-2003, 10:59 AM
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#80 |
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Pro Rookie
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Illinois
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Congrats on the nice win Kodos! Go Gatesville!
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08-15-2003, 11:03 AM
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#81 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Thanks, guys. It felt real good to put those Cowboys in their place!
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08-15-2003, 01:23 PM
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#82 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Week 9
Gatesville (5-2) at Indianapolis (3-4) ============================================ The Game: Week 9 saw us traveling north to Indiana to face the Colts, who were led by quarterback Dexter McNeil, the former Silicon Pirate. Though it had been 5 years since we had traded him to Richmond in favor of Devin Bergeron, McNeil had clearly still not gotten over the whole thing. In the week before the game, he had many unkind things to say to the press about our team in general and about me in particular. He even went so far as to say that Bibi Gunn was to be commended for bravely publishing her article about me. “Bibi had the guts to say what most of us are thinking." For my part, I tried to take it in stride. I figured everyone else pretty much had it in for me to, so why should McNeil be any different? Our first drive started off pretty well, as we took advantage of a good Scott Cooley kickoff return and moved to the Colts’ 27 on a nice run by Dominic Hernandez. However, the next play saw Berg intercepted by cornerback Jason Sherman at the Colts’ 19. The Colts took advantage of the turnover by moving mostly through the air to our 24 in 9 plays. Facing second-and-2, McNeil found tight end Leroy McKeever for a 7-yard gain to our 17. With a new set of downs, the Colts went to the ground with a handoff to second year RB Robbie Satterlee, but WOLB Dexter Mincy was there to greet him in the backfield for a 2-yard loss. Second down saw Satterlee run off of right guard and head for the end zone, but just before he got there, defense end Dusty Szilter leveled Satterlee and out came the ball. An alert Dexter Mincy tracked down the loose ball, and a couple of well-placed blocks sprung him all the way for a 98-yard fumble return touchdown! 7-0 Pirates! From there it became a punting exhibition, until Colts placekicker Wayne Joyner kicked a 26-yarder with 15 seconds left in the second quarter to make it 7-3 heading into the intermission. The Colts got the first possession of the second half, and methodically moved 60 yards in 12 plays on their way to a 5-yard Jerome Pollard receiving touchdown that put them on top 10-7. Following another series of punts from both teams, we took possession of the ball on our own 15 with nine-and-a-half minutes left in the game. Ruiter tried to give us a little more breathing room on first down, but only gained 2 yards. From there, Berg hit Ralph Randle for a 17-yard pickup to move us out to the 34. A completion to Furman and a Berg scramble kept the chains moving and advanced us out near midfield, but Berg was injured on the scramble. A false start gave backup QB Dana Alston first-and-15 to make things worse. Alston quickly got 13 yards back for us with a pass to Ralph Randle across the middle, and two plays later Ruiter caught one out of the backfield for 6 yards and a first down. Seven plays later, Alston struck paydirt with a 14-yard strike to Randle that put us back in front 14-10 with just over 3 minutes left in the contest. In their ensuing possession, the Colts worked their way out to their 37 by the two minute warning, and 2 plays later a 43-yard bomb to wide receiver Jerome Pollard set them up at our 9 yard line with just over a minute remaining. McNeil missed Pollard in the back of the end zone on the next play, but found Tito Ackerman for the score on second down to take a 17-14 lead with 52 seconds remaining. Starting from our own 33, Alston and the offense took to the field. With our receivers blanketed, Alston dumped it off to fullback Levon Wallace for a 3-yard gain and called a time out. On second down, Alston went for his favorite target, Ralph Randle, but the ball was overthrown. On third down, Alston tried to find Artie Furman, but defensive end Jared Russell forced him to throw it before he wanted to, and the pass fell incomplete. Now facing fourth-and-7, Alston again looked toward Furman, but blitzing linebacker Tracy Moulton forced another hurried pass that failed to find its target, and the ball went over to the Colts on downs. From there, McNeil took a couple of knees and went into the locker room with a little bit of revenge. Final score: Colts 17, Silicon Pirates 14. Key Performers: Dexter McNeil claimed the Game MVP award by completing 27 of 41 pass attempts for 288 yards, 2 TDs, and 0 interceptions. He also ran the ball 8 times for 43 yards. Devin Bergeron, who replaced McNeil here in Gatesville, completed just 7 of 18 passes for 101 yards and an interception before leaving the game with a knee injury. Dana Alston completed 6 of 11 attempts for 56 yards and 1 TD. Lonnie Ruiter, coming off of a dominating performance against the Cowboys, came crashing back to earth against the Colts, gaining just 24 yards on 10 runs. Dominic Hernandez gained 28 yards on 1 carry and 1 yard on his other 3 carries. Ralph Randle was the lone bright spot with 6 grabs for 102 yards. New Injuries: Berg’s knee injury turned out to be a sprain, prompting the trainers to say that he’d probably miss a game or two. Right tackle Terrance Read suffered a deep thigh bruise that looked to take a couple of weeks to heal up. Left end Dusty Szilter pulled his groin on the play where he forced the fumble which Dexter Mincy returned for a score. Dusty will need 3-5 weeks to recover. Several other backup players on the defensive side of the ball were banged up as well. ============================================ Dallas (5-2) at Philly (1-6) The Cowboys lost 23-17 to an awful Eagles team to keep themselves behind us in the NFC East. Last edited by Kodos : 10-18-2003 at 01:55 PM. |
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08-15-2003, 01:29 PM
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#83 |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Mar 2003
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The Pirates were robbed!! My vocalizations of that opinion and my Chuck Farley jersey almost got me into some fights at the game. Now I remember why I hate going to games at the RCA Dome.
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08-15-2003, 01:30 PM
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#84 |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Iowa City, IA
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Well at least the week wasn't a total loss. Good to see the Cowboys lose to a crappy Eagles team
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08-18-2003, 06:22 PM
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#85 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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2017 Mid-Season Report
Our loss to the Colts and a win by the Redskins moved them ahead of us and into second place in the East, while the Cowboys dropped into fourth place with their loss to the Eagles. Code:
Power Ratings The Cowboys hit the midway point with a 70 power rating, whereas we were given just a 48 rating. Funny, when you consider the fact that we were ahead of them in the division and that we beat them head-to-head. You can shove your power rating right up your ass, my friend.Individual Stats Some folks, much to the dismay of certain other folks, were speculating that Chuck Farley didn't have anything left in the tank after he came up with just one touchdown in 8 games. Some even called for him to be replaced in the starting lineup by Mitchell Horner. Gatesville Silicon Pirates Code:
Dallas Cowboys Code:
Last edited by Kodos : 10-15-2006 at 09:36 PM. |
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08-19-2003, 08:37 AM
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#86 | |
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Team Chaplain
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
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Quote:
Sheesh. No wonder the Democrats lost the election. Heck, Secretariat must be tired after those first two Triple Crown races. Let's just shoot him.
__________________
Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL! I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference. |
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08-20-2003, 06:38 PM
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#87 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Hey guys:
I was hoping to finish this season off before my wedding/honeymoon at the end of the month, but sadly, that's not going to happen, so I am going to have to put this thing on hold for a while. Midseason seems like a good stopping point. But don't worry, I'll resume this after I get back. - Kodos |
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08-20-2003, 06:54 PM
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#88 |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Mar 2003
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Good luck and best wishs Kodos.
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08-21-2003, 03:19 PM
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#89 | |
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Mascot
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Austin, TX
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Quote:
I don't read any other forums, so this is the first I'd heard of your upcoming nuptuals. I wish you and the soon to be Mrs. Kodos the best. So, uhm, did you pick an Earth girl or is Mrs. Kodos from Rigel as well? Lokugh |
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08-21-2003, 04:21 PM
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#90 |
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Pro Rookie
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Illinois
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Congratulations to you and your missus-to-be! And have a great time on your honeymoon. We'll see you next month!
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08-21-2003, 04:28 PM
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#91 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Thanks, guys. She's an earth girl. I'd heard somewhere that earth girls are easy, so I figured, "This could be my chance..." If you've seen me on the Simpsons, you know I ain't too much to look at.
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08-21-2003, 04:30 PM
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#92 |
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General Manager
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: The Town of Flower Mound
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Congrats! I'll be sure to get you that Dallas Cowboys sheets/bedspread set that you registered for...
__________________
UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO |
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08-21-2003, 05:21 PM
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#93 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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No, no. You misread the registry. That is a Dallas Cowboys bedpan that we ordered.
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08-21-2003, 08:48 PM
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#94 | ||
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Strategy Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: North Carolina
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Quote:
Fiancee? Wedding? Honeymoon? Right.... Does anyone else just think it'sjust a bit suspicious that while under investigation for murder Kodos has now decided to leave town for a while? I hope he didn't book his "flight" through the Rae Carruth travel agency.  We're on to you alien!
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Quote:
Last edited by cthomer5000 : 08-21-2003 at 08:49 PM. |
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08-22-2003, 12:10 PM
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#95 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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I can assure you that my departure and the investigation are totally unrelated.
Really. Honest. I swear. **runs** |
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08-22-2003, 01:32 PM
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#96 | |
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Strategy Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: North Carolina
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cue my favorite Simpsons sound effect: the "running feet, slamming door, squealing car tires"
__________________
Quote:
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09-22-2003, 07:50 AM
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#97 |
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Mascot
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Cold, old England
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well its taken two days to read this and all i can say is 'WOW', fantastic read, just fantastic...
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Carpe Diem |
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09-22-2003, 08:54 AM
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#98 |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Rennes, France
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Is Kodos still too tired from his honeymoon to finish his last season as Head Coach of GatesVille Silicon Pirates !
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09-22-2003, 09:27 AM
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#99 |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Mar 2003
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He's not gone yet. Farley will catch fire and carry them through the playoffs.
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09-22-2003, 12:38 PM
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#100 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Thanks, mattwakeman. Glad you enjoyed it!
It may be a little while before I get this back on track. Wedding thank yous to write, a Madden franchise to get underway, and a general lack of free time. I will be back for more, but it might not be for a little while. Sorry guys. Oh, and thanks for the vote of confidence, Nyarlahotep! Last edited by Kodos : 09-22-2003 at 12:40 PM. |
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