The OFFICIAL 2008-09 NHL Offseason Thread

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by Draft Dodger

oh how quickly we move on...

As a fan of neither Tucker owning team, I can call you both knobs for having Tucker on your team.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

Dola

Brendan Morrison to Anaheim.

No matter the terms, I think the Ducks have to be over the cap. Someone (Schneider?) is on their way out.

Pretty sure Schneider is going to be traded. It has been rumored for some time. He'll probably go to a low salary team for a draft pick, or a veteran team will try to squeeze him in to up their blueline(again for a draft pick).

[Dr. Sak]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

Aren't there a ton of forwards ahead of Downie?

Richards, Carter, Knuble, Gagne (if healthy), Upshall, Lupul, Hartnell, Briere off the top of my head. Metropolit, assuming at center I think would trump him too. Just my guess though.

And Cote...Laraque did say he was, pound for pound, the toughest guy in the NHL.

If I were to guess the lines would look like this...

Hartnell - Richards - Lupul
Gagne - Briere - Giroux
Upshall - Carter - Knuble
Cote - Metropolit - Downie

On 610WIP there are some pretty substantial rumors that the Flyers are going after Bouwmeester.

[Pyser]

can bouwmeester be traded now that hes filed for arbitration?

similarly, why would florida trade him now that they are guaranteed to sign him for another year? aside from total ineptitude, that is

and man, philly really does seem to have 18 forwards on their team, dont they?

[Dr. Sak]

Originally Posted by Pyser

can bouwmeester be traded now that hes filed for arbitration?

similarly, why would florida trade him now that they are guaranteed to sign him for another year? aside from total ineptitude, that is

and man, philly really does seem to have 18 forwards on their team, dont they?

Yeah they can trade him even though he's filed for arbitration. They'll probably wait till the judge makes his decision. That's what the Flyers did with Pitkanen last year.

I'd trade someone like Lupul or Upshall to get a decent defenseman in return.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by bsak16

Yeah they can trade him even though he's filed for arbitration. They'll probably wait till the judge makes his decision. That's what the Flyers did with Pitkanen last year.

I'd trade someone like Lupul or Upshall to get a decent defenseman in return.

Eklund says Philly is in the mix for Schneider. If we don't deal him to you for a pick, though, I am not sure what we would go for. We need centers, and last I checked, yours were either too good for an aging D'man like Schneider, or not good enough for our needs (second line center, no, Morrison is not the answer). That's why I figure a pick is more likely.

[Chief Rum]

Oh and P.S. we still love Lupes out here in Anaheim, even if he hasn't taken the world by storm, but we have too many top six wingers, and Teemu may still come back.

[Dr. Sak]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Eklund says Philly is in the mix for Schneider. If we don't deal him to you for a pick, though, I am not sure what we would go for. We need centers, and last I checked, yours were either too good for an aging D'man like Schneider, or not good enough for our needs (second line center, no, Morrison is not the answer). That's why I figure a pick is more likely.

The Flyers are over the cap so I doubt the send just picks for Schneider. Because getting him alone would put them too far over the cap.

I'd love the keep Lupul but he is a RFA after this year and I'd expect he'd want a hefty raise.

[Dr. Sak]

Recchi signs with Tampa.

I just hope the Tampa announcer doesnt say on opening night...

And now for your Pittsburgh Penguins!!!

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by bsak16

If I were to guess the lines would look like this...

Hartnell - Richards - Lupul
Gagne - Briere - Giroux
Upshall - Carter - Knuble
Cote - Metropolit - Downie

On 610WIP there are some pretty substantial rumors that the Flyers are going after Bouwmeester.

No Asham??

Isn't part of the reason Florida would look to deal him because of the price tag? Just not sure how it would work, if Philly is over the cap now, and then would be adding a $6M (?) salary.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by Pyser

similarly, why would florida trade him now that they are guaranteed to sign him for another year? aside from total ineptitude, that is

My guess is, if the Panthers are certain JBo wants out, they'd lose him next year for nothing after this contract-- if I am adding correctly, he's got 5 years of service. Since he filed for arbitration, the team has the right to choose 1 or 2 years for the contract term (should they choose to accept the arbiters ruling). I assume they keep him for 2.

At the end of the 2 years, he walks with no compensation.

[Pyser]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

My guess is, if the Panthers are certain JBo wants out, they'd lose him next year for nothing after this contract-- if I am adding correctly, he's got 5 years of service. Since he filed for arbitration, the team has the right to choose 1 or 2 years for the contract term (should they choose to accept the arbiters ruling). I assume they keep him for 2.

At the end of the 2 years, he walks with no compensation.

i guess i should have been more specific. why trade him now instead of right before the deadline when hed probably have more value in a bidding war

[Dr. Sak]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

No Asham??

Isn't part of the reason Florida would look to deal him because of the price tag? Just not sure how it would work, if Philly is over the cap now, and then would be adding a $6M (?) salary.

I wouldn't be surprised to see Asham on the Phantoms to start the season, or be the extra forward they bring in and scratch Cote when he's not needed.

If the Flyers trade for Bouwmeester, Hatcher would probably have to be involved in that deal as well as someone like Knuble and/or Randy Jones. It took them awhile to finally lock up Jones and it wouldn't surprise me to see the Flyers ship him out. I find it very unlikely that they will get him just because of all the salary they'd have to dump to get him.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by bsak16

I wouldn't be surprised to see Asham on the Phantoms to start the season, or be the extra forward they bring in and scratch Cote when he's not needed.

If the Flyers trade for Bouwmeester, Hatcher would probably have to be involved in that deal as well as someone like Knuble and/or Randy Jones. It took them awhile to finally lock up Jones and it wouldn't surprise me to see the Flyers ship him out. I find it very unlikely that they will get him just because of all the salary they'd have to dump to get him.

Exactly where is the incentive for Florida in that!?

Maybe I am overstating, but if JBo is coming in, I'd be shocked if Parent isn't part of the deal, and possibly Giroux.

[Dr. Sak]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

Exactly where is the incentive for Florida in that!?

Maybe I am overstating, but if JBo is coming in, I'd be shocked if Parent isn't part of the deal, and possibly Giroux.

Oh I'm sure one of those two would have to be involved or even James Van Riemsdyk.

[Suburban Rhythm]

If you really want a defenseman, Darryl Sydor is still available

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by bsak16

Recchi signs with Tampa.

I just hope the Tampa announcer doesnt say on opening night...

And now for your Pittsburgh Penguins!!!

If Recchi doesn't make it official, I believe the latest signing of Brandon Bochenski does...that's right, another winger to Tampa.

All that time at ESPN, Melrose devised a system to be played at all times by 5 forwards.

If you count Stamkos (draft) and Prospal (deadline deal, brought back), the Lightning have 8 forwards on the roster now who were not there 3 months ago when their season ended.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

If Recchi doesn't make it official, I believe the latest signing of Brandon Bochenski does...that's right, another winger to Tampa.

All that time at ESPN, Melrose devised a system to be played at all times by 5 forwards.

If you count Stamkos (draft) and Prospal (deadline deal, brought back), the Lightning have 8 forwards on the roster now who were not there 3 months ago when their season ended.

I saw Tampa play Washington in what, I think, was the second to last game of the season for both teams. Tampa was awful. Granted they'd been out of it for a long time, but they had absolutely no spark. I could barely recognize half the players on the team.

They certainly needed an upgrade in forwards and they've accomplished that. But I have no idea how they expect to get very far with nobody, at all, on defense and a goaltender who's past his prime.

Well, it will be interesting to watch at least...

[cartman]

I didn't see this posted yet. Here's a really cool story from the NHL draft:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...portCat=nhl%22

Hockey isn't going to forget about David Carle

David Carle had booked his ticket to the National Hockey League draft weeks in advance. His bags were packed, but he never made it.

Carle had been a certain third-round pick as a defenseman, maybe a second-rounder. But just hours before the draft, he sent out a letter to all 30 teams, advising them not to pick him.

Two months before, at the end of his senior season at Shattuck-St. Mary's prep school in Minnesota, Carle led his team to a national championship, scoring a goal in a victory over Team Illinois in the USA Hockey 18-and-under Tier I final. He never suspected it would be the last game he would ever play.

David Carle helped lead Shattuck-St. Mary's to a national title, but a medical condition has forced him to stop playing hockey.
"It could have turned out worse," Carle said. "The way I was brought up by my parents and the values I took from Shattuck, it's just understood that one day hockey was going to come to an end."

The news came just a day before the draft in a diagnosis from doctors at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn. Following up on some irregularities first detected at the NHL combine, doctors discovered Carle has hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, a thickening of the heart that puts him at risk of sudden death in the heat of physical activity. Hockey had been his life. Now it threatened his life. He was out of the game for good.

Stick around for the happy ending. No miracle. No reprieve. No unforeseen plot twist. Just hockey people stepping up to let Carle know that they weren't going to forget him. That he had to abandon the game, but the game wasn't going to abandon him.

Back in January, on the coldest weekend of a long, cold winter, I made a trip out to Faribault, Minn., an hour from Minneapolis. ESPN The Magazine had assigned me a story on Shattuck-St. Mary's, a school that over the past decade has churned out a dozen NHL players. Sidney Crosby played one season there before heading off to play junior. Others, like Kings defenseman Jack Johnson, went on to play for the national team development program in Ann Arbor, Mich. But many, like Blackhawks center Jonathan Toews, stayed through their senior years before heading off to play NCAA hockey and then turning pro.

Funny thing: I talked to a few of the top pro prospects on this year's Shattuck team, but Carle wasn't one of them. I knew his name because his brother is Matt Carle, the former Hobey Baker Award winner with Denver University who was in his second season as a defenseman with the San Jose Sharks. Still, I didn't chase down David Carle. The usual drill is that you ask someone around the team about the most outgoing kids, the best stories, the liveliest quotes. That wasn't David Carle.

"A soft-spoken, confident guy, maybe our hardest-working player, a leader more by example than someone who'll stand up in the room and say something," Shattuck assistant coach Ben Johnson told me.

It sounded like getting a quote out of him would be about as tough as getting around him on the ice, so I didn't go down that road. Mea culpa for not trying.

Other players told me how their years at Shattuck made them better players and better people. How all that time together on the ice made them a better team. How all that time together off the ice made them better friends for life.

"I loved the atmosphere," Sidney Crosby said. "You can have friendships wherever you play, but at Shattuck, you lived together, went to class together, traveled and played together. You get to know each other like you didn't anywhere else."

I heard the same thing every time. No one, though, can talk about those friendships today with more authority than David Carle. "I've heard from everybody since I got the news," he said.

"Crazier things have happened, but expecting things to change now is a false hope," Carle said.

Before he sent out that letter advising teams of his condition, Carle posted a message to his friends on Facebook. Almost half of them are Shattuck students. So about a quarter of the student body knew about Carle's condition before the NHL did.

"I wanted to be the one to tell my friends and the coaches," he said.

Text messages and calls started to come in, not just from his teammates, but also from alumni, including Toews. It was a time of mixed emotions.

"I thank our lucky stars that David didn't have an episode with us, and that I'm not ever going to have to field some awful call about something happening to him," Shattuck coach Tom Ward said. "It's too bad that his hockey dream is most likely over, because I never coached a boy who had the sort of metamorphosis that David did in his three years here. Overnight, he went from a very nonchalant kid to somebody who just decided to be a player and dedicated himself as much as anybody ever has."

Ward added that there was no need to pity David Carle.

"He can take the stuff that he learned here and apply it to whatever he chooses," Ward said. "He's gonna be just fine."

It looked like the nearest thing to a happy ending came with the news that Denver University was going to honor the hockey scholarship it offered Carle last season. It wasn't a snap decision, just an easy one.

"David kept us informed of his medical situation when he came back from the combine," DU coach George Gwozdecky said. "We looked at the possibilities and the possible outcomes. We knew that he might not be able to play for us. We still wanted him, even if he couldn't. It's not a symbolic gesture -- we'll expect him to be part of the program on a daily basis. We'll just have to figure out the right role for him."

The story didn't end there, though. The NHL draft was winding down, teams were packing up and many in the arena in Ottawa were heading for the exits when the Tampa Bay Lightning were on the clock in the seventh and last round, with the No. 203 overall pick.

"The Tampa Bay Lightning select, from Shattuck-St. Mary's, David Carle."

Carle wasn't there, which is too bad. He could have walked out of the stands down to the floor and shaken hands with Lightning executives and donned a Tampa Bay sweater. Still, his name went up on the board behind the stage where the names were being announced.

It wasn't a mistake. Tampa Bay had received the notice of Carle's condition. It wasn't a long-shot move by the team. Nobody was banking on a reversal, a cure or a misdiagnosis that would net the team a top talent late in the draft. No, it was a call made by one of the Lightning's new owners, Oren Koules, who bounced around hockey's minor leagues before going on to become a successful Hollywood producer. Koules' son, Miles, is a student at Shattuck-St. Mary's. In a couple of years, he wants to play on the varsity team for which Carle starred.

"That school has meant so much to me and my family," Oren Koules said. "My son is a better person for going there. I met a bunch of the players when I was up there. They were all gentlemen, really respectful. I didn't think David should miss out on an opportunity he should have had. It was an honor to select him."

There will even be Lighning sweaters with the name Carle sewn on the back next season. On Friday, San Jose traded Matt Carle to Tampa Bay in a deal that sent All-Star defenseman Dan Boyle to the Sharks. That's a nice finishing touch, a nice bit of symmetry, a good excuse for David to make a trip down to the Gulf Coast. When he's watching games at Denver University this winter, David Carle might think about how much his life has changed since he got that call from the Mayo Clinic. But a couple of things will never change. He'll always be an alumnus of Shattuck and property of the Tampa Bay Lightning.

[Pyser]

apparently jersey jim dowd retired. so the flyers dont have 18 forwards anymore.

[Dr. Sak]

Originally Posted by Pyser

apparently jersey jim dowd retired. so the flyers dont have 18 forwards anymore.

And Thoreson is going to play in Europe. Dowd was a UFA and Thor was a RFA.

[bbor]

Niewendyk signs with the Leafs.He will center their third line....opp's wait......no he is going to their front office.

[MikeVic]

Originally Posted by bbor

Niewendyk signs with the Leafs.He will center their third line....opp's wait......no he is going to their front office.

Link? Because I honestly don't know which to believe.

[Draft Dodger]

Jason Smith has signed with the Senators. I've always liked him.
Pavol Demitra has reportedly signed with the desperate Canucks for $4 million a year or so. To which I say: "ha ha"

[bbor]

Originally Posted by MikeVic

Link? Because I honestly don't know which to believe.

http://tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=242841&l...=secStory_main

[bbor]

dola...i guess if his job is special assistant to the GM Brian Burke had to o.k this hire?

[Pyser]

wow, how did smith get $5.2 out of ott for only 2 years? bizarre.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Originally Posted by Pyser

wow, how did smith get $5.2 out of ott for only 2 years? bizarre.

You're telling me. That puts Jason Smith just inside $1M of almost making Jeff Finger-type money.

That makes me wonder if Smith talked to Fletcher about coming back to the Leafs and Fletcher informed him that they made a promise to Finger that they wouldn't sign another defensemen within $1M of him, so Murray swooped in with the $2.6M a year offer to steal Smith from the rival Leafs. I bet that's how it all went down.

[Honolulu_Blue]

St. Louis Blues President John Davidson announced today that the club has signed Group II free agent forward Steve Bernier to an offer sheet worth $2.5 million for next season. The Canucks will have seven days to match the offer or receive St. Louis’ 2nd round draft choice in 2009.


Heh. I love how mature NHL GMs act among one another. All the power to JD for going after a RFA, but this is not too surprising.

Hopefully Gillis will just match the offer and not say anything else about it. GMs have to stop whining about other teams making offers to the RFAs. It's part of the program. Deal.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by Honolulu_Blue

St. Louis Blues President John Davidson announced today that the club has signed Group II free agent forward Steve Bernier to an offer sheet worth $2.5 million for next season. The Canucks will have seven days to match the offer or receive St. Louis’ 2nd round draft choice in 2009.


Heh. I love how mature NHL GMs act among one another. All the power to JD for going after a RFA, but this is not too surprising.

Hopefully Gillis will just match the offer and not say anything else about it. GMs have to stop whining about other teams making offers to the RFAs. It's part of the program. Deal.

What makes it so terrible is Vancouver has about $2 billion in cap space. Everyone knows this, and knew that they would match any reasonable offer. I am surprised it was even announced-- that when word got to Vancouver, they just said "We are matching" right then.

I blame Kevin Lowe.

[Pyser]

i bet vancouver wishes the deal paid more. arent they way below the cap floor?

[Suburban Rhythm]

Probably over the floor now, with $4M to Demitra and $2.5M to Bernier.

But still plenty of room to give Sundin his $10M

[RomaGoth]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

Probably over the floor now, with $4M to Demitra and $2.5M to Bernier.

But still plenty of room to give Sundin his $10M

If Sundin wants to win he won't go to Vancouver. If he wants the money, however...........

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by RomaGoth

If Sundin wants to win he won't go to Vancouver. If he wants the money, however...........

c.) None of the above.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Mr. Federov back to Washington, 1 year $4M

Isles extend Bredan Witt, 2 years/$6M

Tampa signs a defenseman!!! But it's Andrew Hutchinson.

And Ray Emery to... Russia, for $2+ mil

[Honolulu_Blue]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

Mr. Federov back to Washington, 1 year $4M

Isles extend Bredan Witt, 2 years/$6M

Tampa signs a defenseman!!! But it's Andrew Hutchinson.

And Ray Emery to... Russia, for $2+ mil

That seems to be a lot of cash for Federov, but, the Caps can afford it and he played pretty well there. I've always liked Federov, so I'm glad he's still in the league.

If Jason Smith is worth $2.6 million, I guess Witt is worth $3 million.

Andrew Hutchinson is clearly the answer to Tampa's blueline. They're set.

Emery gets bannished to Siberia. Well, I guess that's what happens when your assholic tendencies finally overshadow your skill level.

[Dr. Sak]

I liked Jason Smith I hope he does well in Ottawa. He played the entire postseason with two separated shoulders.

[RomaGoth]

Originally Posted by bsak16

I liked Jason Smith I hope he does well in Ottawa. He played the entire postseason with two separated shoulders.

There was a time not too long ago when I was hoping the Wings would pick him up. Don't need him now, but he should help Ottawa (they always seem to be in need of toughness).

[Suburban Rhythm]

Erhoff re-signs with SJ, 3 years/$9.3M

That leaves the Sharks with a little more than $2M is cap space, with two RFAs- Ryan Clowe and Marcel Goc- to sign.

Kyle McClaren should start packing his bags.

Josh Georges returning to Montreal, 3 years/$3.3M

[RomaGoth]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

Erhoff re-signs with SJ, 3 years/$9.3M

That leaves the Sharks with a little more than $2M is cap space, with two RFAs- Ryan Clowe and Marcel Goc- to sign.

Kyle McClaren should start packing his bags.

Josh Georges returning to Montreal, 3 years/$3.3M

I have not followed his career since he was traded from Boston, but what the hell happened to him? Wasn't he being touted as the next Ray Bourque up there before he went to San Jose?

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by RomaGoth

I have not followed his career since he was traded from Boston, but what the hell happened to him? Wasn't he being touted as the next Ray Bourque up there before he went to San Jose?

Don't think he was ever compared to Ray Bourque. Or maybe you are thinking of Hal Gill?

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

Don't think he was ever compared to Ray Bourque. Or maybe you are thinking of Hal Gill?

Come on, I am certain that in Boston he was touted as the next Ray Bourque. Every pitcher is the next Clemens. Every draft pick is the next Paul Pierce. Every QB is the next Tom Brady.

Chistov is being crushed by the Cam Neely comparisons right now.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Come on, I am certain that in Boston he was touted as the next Ray Bourque. Every pitcher is the next Clemens. Every draft pick is the next Paul Pierce. Every QB is the next Tom Brady.

Chistov is being crushed by the Cam Neely comparisons right now.

Milan Lucic FTW

I already pointed out he's probably mixed up. If any defensemen was being called the next Bourque, it was Hal Gill. Nearly identical skating style.

[RomaGoth]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

Milan Lucic FTW

I already pointed out he's probably mixed up. If any defensemen was being called the next Bourque, it was Hal Gill. Nearly identical skating style.

Bourque skated like he had a semi attached to his arse?

[Dr. Sak]

http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5...cBBtj1fckF9hNA

MOSCOW (AFP) — Russian international ice hockey forward Alexander Radulov on Thursday signed for reigning national champions Ufa.

The financial details of Radulov's contract were not disclosed.

The 22-year-old, who is still under contract with NHL side Nashville Predators where he collected 62 points in 87 matches last season, said he had warned his club management that he wanted to play in Russia.

"I told my bosses in Nashville that I wanted to play at home and some Russian clubs were offering me much better conditions than I had in Nashville," Radulov told the Russian press.

"They said they would call me back but never phoned. It seems that they were either not really interested in me or just did not believe I could return home. One way or another, I'm happy to come home."

Radulov added it was unlikely that Nashville would be able to demand his return to North America as the NHL had no transfer agreement in force with either the Russian Superleague or the new Continental Hockey League (CHL).

This year 20 clubs of the Russian Superleague will play in the newly-established Continental Hockey League along with promoted Yekaterinburg and the three best sides of the former Soviet republics.

Dynamo Minsk of Belarus, Dynamo Riga of Latvia and Barys Astana from Kazakhstan will play in the CHL, which starts its first season on September 2.

[samifan24]

I thought the NHL and Russian Leagues just signed a contract yesterday which stated that they would honor each other's contracts and would only sign out-of-contract players. If so, what is this Radulov business? He's still Predators property. It sounds more like the Predators had no way to stop him. Still, shouldn't Nashville receive something in return since the NHL and the Russians just signed that pact yesterday?

[Dr. Sak]

I didn't hear anything about a signed pact...I thought it was just a verbal agreement of sorts.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Radulov will be missed. He was a pretty talented player. He also played a key cog in the Wings' march to the Cup this year when he injured Jason Arnott in a celebration after Arnott scored that game winning goal in Game 3 or 4 of the first round.

[Tekneek]

If the Russian leagues keep Radulov, despite the agreement, then that means the agreement is off. Really deflates the whole press release then. In this situation, that Russian league holds all the cards and can just decide to not negotiate with the NHL. Then the IIHF has to decide to not allow players in that league to compete in international tournaments if they want to really get tough.

[Honolulu_Blue]

http://canadianpress.google.com/arti...0tvEjRHWmYVf6w

Ex-NHL enforcer VandenBussche to learn verdict Friday in police assault charge

SIMCOE, Ont. — A former NHL enforcer is expected to find out Friday whether he'll be jailed in connection with a brawl outside a southern Ontario hotel in 2006 that resulted in him being Tasered three times and pepper sprayed.

Ryan VandenBussche faces three charges of assaulting police and one charge of uttering a death threat.

His lawyer claimed he could not be held responsible for his actions because of a head injury that legally rendered him a "non-insane automaton."

VandenBussche is also facing a civil suit for allegedly leaving a police officer with a broken nose and orbital bone.

VandenBussche played 310 games in the NHL and suited up for the New York Rangers, Chicago Blackhawks and Pittsburgh Penguins.

He only scored 10 goals while racking up 702 penalty minutes.

He made his NHL debut in the 1996-97 season with the Rangers and last played in 2005-06 with the Penguins.

He now lives in nearby Port Ryerse, Ont., and sells real estate.

----------------------

While I feel bad that VendenBussche may have suffered some type of head injuries during his career, I really do like the phrase "non-insane automaton."

At least two or three times a week (or day) my wife asks me "What were you thinking?" after I do or fail to do something.

From now on my response will be, "I don't know! It was rendered a non-insane automaton at that moment."

I'm sure it'll go over well.