So heres my story

Neuqua · 07-17-2005, 03:53 AM

i'm so drunk i dont care how stupid this is gonna look in the morning. Ok. My best friend'sbirthday is today (jjuly 17thy) but at the same time me and all our roommates (8 of us together) got together on saturday night to celebrate his birthday at hiscondo in the middle of the city n then head out to the club later on at night. So i get completley wasted at the condo. so wasted that as soon as we hit the cab, n get out, i start puking. puking for literally 30 minutes or so. then me n my buddy who im in the cab wit get to the club n realize that my drunk ass is so drunk i forgot my wallet back at my best friends place...

... shit...

so i'm sitting outside tehclub n then i realize my best friends girlfriend doesnt get in either... we ponder what to do for about a half hour n then we realize we might as well go to my other good friends apartment in the city. (again, we're all in the city of chicago at this point). so we take a cab to wat we think is the intersection of where my friends live. turns out, the cab is an idiot n leaves us in the middle of no where (n me and my best friends gf are too drunk to realize this when we tip him.) but then me n the gf walk literally 2.5 hours trying to find my friends place (she lives on polk and miller. turns out, the cab drops us off at polk n so we thought we were nearby. well. polk turns out to be an extremely long street. go figure) so literally i had to stare down atleast 3-4 diffferent groups of peoeple trying to intidmidate us before we reach an intersectiopn where cops come up to us n say "hey.. u guys look lost.. are u guys ok"... we explain them our situation n they take us in the complete OPPPSITIE direction about 25 minutes before we reach my friends apartment. so it turns out my scrawny ass was walking my best friends gf 2.5 hours into the middle of the ghetto of chicago having no idea where i was going. i feel like a churd. shes past out righ tnow n im making sure the rst of the crew knows where the heck i am.

and in the mean while postin gat fofc. why? i dunno. but i needed to tell someone of the crazyass day. g'nite people.

sooner333 · 07-17-2005, 04:25 AM

You should have just gone to the Admiral instead.

Easy Mac · 07-17-2005, 08:00 AM

this story is teh gay

GreenMonster · 07-17-2005, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Easy Mac

this story is teh gay

Agreed pretty lame...

Raiders Army · 07-17-2005, 08:23 AM

pix pls k thx

Comey · 07-17-2005, 08:50 AM

You should've polked her.

Dutch · 07-17-2005, 09:01 AM

The story was going great until the cops saved you. Fucking cops.

Ksyrup · 07-17-2005, 09:17 AM

Very disappointing. A story about drinking and accidentally being stuck with your best friend's girlfriend that DOESN'T end with you asking for advice on what to do now that you've slept with her? Why even post this?

CraigSca · 07-17-2005, 09:18 AM

How come your best friend's girl didn't get in either? didn't your best friend notice? Was it something in the way you puked for 30 minutes outside the club that possibly made her curious and say, "I need to get to know this guy better?"

Coffee Warlord · 07-17-2005, 09:22 AM

Shoulda called the Lord of Coffee.

I woulda saved you, so long as you delivered the chick into my clutches. Preferably naked.

korme · 07-17-2005, 10:00 AM

Neuquas a pimp.

gottimd · 07-17-2005, 10:26 AM

No ambiguous or vague abbreviations, No Diagrams needed!?!?!?!?

Marmel · 07-17-2005, 11:12 AM

So weak.

Desnudo · 07-17-2005, 11:42 AM

Amazon Review:

Nequa, who has trouble holding his alcohol, gets sick at his friend's party. He decides to go out anyway, instead of going home and going to sleep. Misfortune strikes again as Nequa forgets his wallet and can't enter the club he and his friends go to. His "good" friends go in without him. His friend's girlfriend is also stuck outside with him. Who leaves their girlfriend outside at a club? The story is a harsh reminder of the perils of peer pressure.

The rest of the story is Nequa's drunken ramble through Chicago where he encounters black people, cops, and his own inner demons. It's a story that's been told thousands of times and didn't need to be told again. The ending is especially flat.

MizzouRah · 07-17-2005, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

Amazon Review:

Nequa, who has trouble holding his alcohol, gets sick at his friend's party. He decides to go out anyway, instead of going home and going to sleep. Misfortune strikes again as Nequa forgets his wallet and can't enter the club he and his friends go to. His "good" friends go in without him. His friend's girlfriend is also stuck outside with him. Who leaves their girlfriend outside at a club? The story is a harsh reminder of the perils of peer pressure.

The rest of the story is Nequa's drunken ramble through Chicago where he encounters black people, cops, and his own inner demons. It's a story that's been told thousands of times and didn't need to be told again. The ending is especially flat.

CHEMICAL SOLDIER · 07-17-2005, 11:59 AM

Awesome!@!!!!

cthomer5000 · 07-17-2005, 12:10 PM

I laughed, I cried.

klayman · 07-17-2005, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

Amazon Review:

Nequa, who has trouble holding his alcohol, gets sick at his friend's party. He decides to go out anyway, instead of going home and going to sleep. Misfortune strikes again as Nequa forgets his wallet and can't enter the club he and his friends go to. His "good" friends go in without him. His friend's girlfriend is also stuck outside with him. Who leaves their girlfriend outside at a club? The story is a harsh reminder of the perils of peer pressure.

The rest of the story is Nequa's drunken ramble through Chicago where he encounters black people, cops, and his own inner demons. It's a story that's been told thousands of times and didn't need to be told again. The ending is especially flat.

Was this review helpful to you? Yes (click)

sterlingice · 07-17-2005, 01:40 PM

Better than Cats?

SI

Neuqua · 07-17-2005, 01:59 PM

this story sucks.

Swaggs · 07-17-2005, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neuqua

this story sucks.

Did you think it was a great story at the time?

You must have had way too much to drink.

Noop · 07-17-2005, 04:14 PM

Damn this story sucks... no type of sexual stuff happening... damn man atleast a very nice hug or something would have made this worthwhile.

CraigSca · 07-17-2005, 05:16 PM

Note to self: Add a very nice hug to all my posts.

BigJohn&TheLions · 07-18-2005, 01:07 AM

Here's another good story.

I got a buddy who is a cop in Chicago. He tells me today about this kid he picked up last night. No ID, completely trashed, with a girl who is in worse shape than he is, and lost beyond comprehension. He gives this sad sack a ride, but realizes his mistake when he smells a stench that can only be one thing: feces. The kid is crying that some "gangsters" were after him. He shit himself out of fear. This kid pointed out the "gangsters" who were menacing him. They were a couple of fags hanging outside of a popular homosexual night spot. Real queens to. I asked them if they had seen the couple in the back of the car before. "Honey, we asked him if he was lost and needed some assistance. He starts making a whole scene, screaming and yelling. He was crying the whole time! I felt sorry for him and offered to call him a cab. I heard a foul noise and he grabbed the poor girl and starts running like he just saw a ghost!"

Fouts · 07-18-2005, 01:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by klayman

Was this review helpful to you? Yes (click)

Your link doesn't work.

Ragone · 07-18-2005, 02:23 AM

Harold and Neuqua go to white castle

ThunderingHERD · 07-18-2005, 03:00 AM

8.7

This story is a delightful antidote for those sick from a diet of loves had and/or not. Author Neuqua, deftly adopting a drunken parlance, spins a shaggy dog story that is hirsute in all the right places--a rare achievement in a genre that has grown morbid in its fascination with post-relevance. The denouement leaves one asking--no--needfully imploring oneself for answers to questions that may never be voiced, but still stand profound in their inpalpability.

And, yet, I still find myself longing for these two star-crossed loafers to venture hand-in-hand to the ethereal blackberry fields of the unrequited.

korme · 07-18-2005, 03:07 AM

Tell me you hit up a thesauras to aid you in that post.

Ragone · 07-18-2005, 03:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shorty3281

Tell me you hit up a thesauras to aid you in that post.

Theasauras's were extinct thousands of years ago..

KWhit · 07-18-2005, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ragone

Theasauras's were extinct thousands of years ago..

I guess dictionaries were too?

SFL Cat · 07-18-2005, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KWhit

I guess dictionaries were too?

I seen one of dose before. In Arkansas, it is call Dubb's Big Wurd Book! Cuz Dubb is a only one who can 'ford one.

sterlingice · 07-18-2005, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ragone

Theasauras's were extinct thousands of years ago..

Nice

SI

Neuqua · 07-18-2005, 06:23 PM

The replies in here are better than the story itself.

(which for the record i do not remember writing)

Icy · 07-18-2005, 06:28 PM

Umm i think i speak for all us when i say al us were waiting for a mad night of sex betwen you and your friend's girlf, with some pics included of course. We are really dissapointed, we want our money back.

07-17-2005, 08:50 AM	#6
Comey College Starter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: CT via PA via CA via PA	You should've polked her. __________________

07-17-2005, 09:17 AM	#8
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	Very disappointing. A story about drinking and accidentally being stuck with your best friend's girlfriend that DOESN'T end with you asking for advice on what to do now that you've slept with her? Why even post this? __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

07-17-2005, 09:18 AM	#9
CraigSca Pro Starter Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Not Delaware - hurray!	How come your best friend's girl didn't get in either? didn't your best friend notice? Was it something in the way you puked for 30 minutes outside the club that possibly made her curious and say, "I need to get to know this guy better?" __________________ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! She loves you, yeah! how do you know? how do you know?

07-17-2005, 10:26 AM	#12
gottimd Dearly Missed (9/25/77-12/23/08) Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: DC Suburbs	No ambiguous or vague abbreviations, No Diagrams needed!?!?!?!? __________________ NAFL New Orleans Saints GM/Co-Commish MP Career Record: 114-85 NAFL Super Bowl XI Champs In memory of Gavin Anthony: 7/22/08-7/26/08

07-17-2005, 11:12 AM	#13
Marmel Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Manchester, CT	So weak. __________________ 81-78 Cincinnati basketball writer P. Daugherty, "Connor Barwin playing several minutes against Syracuse is like kids with slingshots taking down Caesar's legions."

07-17-2005, 04:25 AM	#2
sooner333 College Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Norman, OK	You should have just gone to the Admiral instead.

07-17-2005, 08:00 AM	#3
Easy Mac Registered User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Here	this story is teh gay

07-17-2005, 08:23 AM	#5
Raiders Army Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Black Hole	pix pls k thx

07-17-2005, 09:01 AM	#7
Dutch "Dutch" Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Tampa, FL	The story was going great until the cops saved you. Fucking cops.

07-17-2005, 09:22 AM	#10
Coffee Warlord Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Colorado Springs	Shoulda called the Lord of Coffee. I woulda saved you, so long as you delivered the chick into my clutches. Preferably naked.

07-17-2005, 10:00 AM	#11
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	Neuquas a pimp.

07-17-2005, 11:42 AM	#14
Desnudo Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here and There	Amazon Review: Nequa, who has trouble holding his alcohol, gets sick at his friend's party. He decides to go out anyway, instead of going home and going to sleep. Misfortune strikes again as Nequa forgets his wallet and can't enter the club he and his friends go to. His "good" friends go in without him. His friend's girlfriend is also stuck outside with him. Who leaves their girlfriend outside at a club? The story is a harsh reminder of the perils of peer pressure. The rest of the story is Nequa's drunken ramble through Chicago where he encounters black people, cops, and his own inner demons. It's a story that's been told thousands of times and didn't need to be told again. The ending is especially flat.

07-17-2005, 11:59 AM	#16
CHEMICAL SOLDIER College Starter Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Henderson, Nevada	Awesome!@!!!! __________________ Toujour Pret

07-17-2005, 01:40 PM	#19
sterlingice Hall Of Famer Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Back in Houston!	Better than Cats? SI __________________ Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"

07-17-2005, 01:59 PM	#20
Neuqua Pro Rookie Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Chicago, Ill	this story sucks. __________________ Our Deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?

07-17-2005, 04:14 PM	#22
Noop Bonafide Seminole Fan Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Miami	Damn this story sucks... no type of sexual stuff happening... damn man atleast a very nice hug or something would have made this worthwhile. __________________ Subby's favorite woman hater.

07-17-2005, 05:16 PM	#23
CraigSca Pro Starter Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Not Delaware - hurray!	Note to self: Add a very nice hug to all my posts. __________________ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! She loves you, yeah! how do you know? how do you know?

07-18-2005, 01:07 AM	#24
BigJohn&TheLions College Benchwarmer Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: New York	Here's another good story. I got a buddy who is a cop in Chicago. He tells me today about this kid he picked up last night. No ID, completely trashed, with a girl who is in worse shape than he is, and lost beyond comprehension. He gives this sad sack a ride, but realizes his mistake when he smells a stench that can only be one thing: feces. The kid is crying that some "gangsters" were after him. He shit himself out of fear. This kid pointed out the "gangsters" who were menacing him. They were a couple of fags hanging outside of a popular homosexual night spot. Real queens to. I asked them if they had seen the couple in the back of the car before. "Honey, we asked him if he was lost and needed some assistance. He starts making a whole scene, screaming and yelling. He was crying the whole time! I felt sorry for him and offered to call him a cab. I heard a foul noise and he grabbed the poor girl and starts running like he just saw a ghost!" __________________ In the immortal words of a great alcoholic, "Can't we all just get along?"

07-18-2005, 02:23 AM	#26
Ragone Pro Rookie Join Date: May 2002 Location: Kansas City, Mo	Harold and Neuqua go to white castle

07-18-2005, 03:00 AM	#27
ThunderingHERD College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: North Carolina	8.7 This story is a delightful antidote for those sick from a diet of loves had and/or not. Author Neuqua, deftly adopting a drunken parlance, spins a shaggy dog story that is hirsute in all the right places--a rare achievement in a genre that has grown morbid in its fascination with post-relevance. The denouement leaves one asking--no--needfully imploring oneself for answers to questions that may never be voiced, but still stand profound in their inpalpability. And, yet, I still find myself longing for these two star-crossed loafers to venture hand-in-hand to the ethereal blackberry fields of the unrequited. __________________ "I'm losing my edge--to better looking people... with better ideas... and more talent. And who are actually really, really nice." "Everyone's a voyeurist--they're watching me watch them watch me right now." Last edited by ThunderingHERD : 07-18-2005 at 03:03 AM.

07-18-2005, 03:07 AM	#28
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	Tell me you hit up a thesauras to aid you in that post.

07-18-2005, 06:23 PM	#33
Neuqua Pro Rookie Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Chicago, Ill	The replies in here are better than the story itself. (which for the record i do not remember writing) __________________ Our Deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?

07-18-2005, 06:28 PM	#34
Icy Pro Starter Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Toledo - Spain	Umm i think i speak for all us when i say al us were waiting for a mad night of sex betwen you and your friend's girlf, with some pics included of course. We are really dissapointed, we want our money back.

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