IWS #104 - Results (Warning: Parental Advisory)

QuikSand · 03-28-2005, 10:06 AM

I’m With Stupid #104 – No Fucking Holds Barred

Original Contest Link

An entertaining contest, right up Stupid’s alley – no fucking research necessary. So, let’s get the fucking show on the road, eh motherfuckers?

#1 – What curse word do you use the most often?

30 fuck
19 shit
2 damn
ass
hell

First of all, only a fucking idiot uses a phrase like “curse word” for this sort of thing.

Second of all, if you didn’t say fuck or shit here, you‘re fucked, and you fucking deserve it. You don’t tell the fucking truth in this game, you assswipe, you answer what other fuckers are going to say. And they are stupid. Eliminator, but with two arguable answers at least. (Stay fucking tuned)

#2 – Name a two-word phrase (not a single compound word), which includes one curse word and one regular word.

20 mother fucker
15 fuck you
4 holy shit
3 fuck off
2 dumb fuck
2 god damn
ass hat

Sometime, I just fucking hate Stupid. Motherfucker is one word, you fucktard! One fucking word! That’s exactly why I fucking put the fucking qualifier in the fucking question, you fucking waste of carbon! Motherfucker!

The correct answer was fuck you, but good guys finish last, it seems. Or second. As for the rest of you dumbasses, you’re just fucked. And rightfully so.

#3 – Name someone who is famously funny, in large part, for the use of curse words.

21 George Carlin
9 Eddie Murphy
7 Chris Rock
6 Richard Pryor
3 Andrew Dice Clay
2 Robin Williams
Denis Leary
Sam Kinison
Redd Foxx
Jim Carrey
Lewis Black

I have nothing to add – good spread here, and Stupid got it right for once.

#4 – Name someone who got in trouble for using curse word(s) in an improper setting.

8 Bono
7 Dick Cheney
5 Howard Stern
4 George W Bush
4 Dale Earnhardt Jr.
2 Bob Knight
2 me
2 Andrew Dice Clay
2 Paul Silas
2 Shaquille O’Neal
Bill Clinton
Gary Kroger
Tiger Woods
Ralphie
Kellen Winslow Jr.
John McEnroe
Johnny Rotten
George Carlin
Lenny Bruce
John Kerry
Jim Mora
Chris Rock
Vince Neil
Theresa Heinz Kerry

Interesting spread – you were fucking beautiful as long as you came up with a respectable answer with a reasonable and somewhat-fucking-recent theory. If you went with Gary Kroger, you get the I’m-smarter-than-you points, and you’re fucked in terms of winning the contest. Way to go, dick.

#5 – Give a famous movie quote (near-misses and paraphrases will count, don’t worry) that includes at least one curse word.

16 “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn”
12 “Yipee Kiyay, motherfucker”
2 “You got knocked the fuck out”
…followed by a totally pointless and impossibly long list of fucking ridiculous answers that nobody else could have possibly matched

Beautiful fucking question, if I do say so myself. Either you got it, or you didn’t. The two good answers were neck and neck as I was counting… but Rhett won out in the end. Fucking classics wins out over something we fucking saw last Tuesday. Maybe there’s some fucking hope for this contest after all.

I'm mildly surprised that the Risky Business quote got only one vote -- I thought that might be the only other possible entry in this race.

If you gave me some 60-word movie quote from some bullshit flick you saw in high school, you just had your head up your ass and I’m not going to pass on your brain fart for you. If you want to represent yourself as a useless assclown, do it in your own fucking dime.

#6 – What curse word, other than the female vulgarity “c-word,” are you least willing to use, even in a setting when others might?

22 fuck
5 nigger
3 pussy
3 bitch
3 cocksucker
3 goddamn
2 twat
2 whore
2 cock
2 godammit
dick
clit
asshat
poof

So, after you litter your fucking entry with language that would make a fucking sailor blush, then half of you decide to pull a PC stunt here, and worry about words that might be offensive to certain people? Fuck them, and fuck you. When in doubt, the best thing to say is fuck. Winner, winner, fucking chicken dinner.

Oh, if you submitted goddamn or goddammit and think you got fucked here… shove it up your ass. Read the rules. I’m god, and you’re fucked. You wouldn’t have won anyway.

With that fucking ordeal behind us, let’s see who made it to the lists of honor:

First of all – the GOSH DARNIT list:

Code:

Vince	                680,400 
Celeval	                680,400 
temley06	                574,560 
Johnny93g	                453,600 
spleen1015	                369,600 
oliegirl	                319,200 
gottimd	                252,000 
rightf	                240,768 
hhiipp	                221,760 
critch	                181,440 
moriarty	                172,800 
Desnudo	                150,480 
wheels	                140,448 
Barkeep49	                140,448 
Alf	                138,600 
ntndeacon	                133,760 
Dutch	                117,600 
BrianD	                 95,040 
gstelmack	                 69,120 
Coffee Warlord	                 66,000 
timmae	                 64,800 
mhass	                 64,800 
TazFTW	                 47,880 
TRO	                 40,128 
Touchstone	                 20,520 
kurtism	                 20,160 
MIJB #19	                 19,800 
Samifan24	                 13,440 
Pyser	                 12,600 
kingfc22	                 12,000 
Maple Leafs	                 11,088 
Raven Hawk	                   8,360 
Z2+	                   7,560 
RPI-Fan	                   6,930 
Raiders Army	                   4,320 
soapy	                   4,050 
RFUS	                   3,420 
Kevin	                   1,368 
tanglewood	                   1,064 
paperstreetsoap	                      360 
duckman	                      360

Now, onto the people who fucking put something into it. Here’s the BULLSHIT list:

Code:

General Mike	             5,617,920 
VPI97	             5,617,920 
JeeberD	             4,838,400 
primelord	             3,160,080 
albionmoonlight	             3,024,000 
wade moore	             1,940,400 
Archer219	             1,764,000 
digamma	             1,360,800 
Huckleberry	             1,203,840 
Kwhit	             1,036,800

Our runner up gets a special place on the FUCKING HOWARD STERN YOU LESBIAN SPANKING SHITHEAD list:

EagleFan 16,632,000

And to our new king, he stands alone on the GREATEST MOTHERFUCKER HERE list:

SplitPersonality1 19,662,720

Congratulations, Split Pea – you’re a fucking winner. And your friend, too.

Raiders Army · 03-28-2005, 10:10 AM

Great fucking IWS.

albionmoonlight · 03-28-2005, 10:13 AM

Fuck.

Stupid Fucking Catholicism. Making me think that Goddamn is worse than it really is.

Congratufuckinglations, SP1.

panerd · 03-28-2005, 10:15 AM

This contest was just like a great big pussy, it was just waiting to be fucked.

I couldn't come up with a quote and missed the deadline to enter. I didn't think it would be the weak "I don't give a damn". I would have hit the other 5 though.

TRO · 03-28-2005, 10:15 AM

How eloquent.

JeeberD · 03-28-2005, 10:17 AM

Goddamn motherfucking sixth question fucking killed me. I had a fucking perfect score until that son of a bitch question...

kurtism · 03-28-2005, 10:17 AM

Best. Fucking. Results. Post. Ever.

JeeberD · 03-28-2005, 10:18 AM

Dola-

With as foul a mouth as duckman has I would have expected a much higher score from him...

tanglewood · 03-28-2005, 10:20 AM

No one else quoted Pulp Fiction? That's fucking outrageous...

Celeval · 03-28-2005, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuikSand

Celeval 680,400

Darn.

QuikSand · 03-28-2005, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tanglewood

No one else quoted Pulp Fiction? That's fucking outrageous...

Pick a fucking quote. I'd hazard that five people quoted Pulp Fiction, but each person had his own fucking quote.

gottimd · 03-28-2005, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tanglewood

No one else quoted Pulp Fiction? That's fucking outrageous...

That fucking question was fucking hard to remember any god damn line from a mother fucking movie. I drew a fucking blank. Shit, I just used the first fucking line that came to my mind.

WSUCougar · 03-28-2005, 10:45 AM

Damn...I mean, fuck...who hacked into Quiksand's programming?

KWhit · 03-28-2005, 10:47 AM

At least I made the bullshit list.

tanglewood · 03-28-2005, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuikSand

Pick a fucking quote. I'd hazard that five people quoted Pulp Fiction, but each person had his own fucking quote.

"ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER!!! DO - YOU - SPEAK - IT?"

I mean, how the fuck can anyone not remember that line? Bastards...

mhass · 03-28-2005, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tanglewood

"ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER!!! DO - YOU - SPEAK - IT?"

I mean, how the fuck can anyone not remember that line? Bastards...

Works just as well as "Say 'what' one more time, motherfucker!" which is why I went another direction. Still got fucking clobbered.

Just fucking beautiful, Quiksand. Just fucking beautiful. You're welcome to rewrite the fucking boilerplate for IWS to include some language from your fucking results post. Might get these fuckers in line.

Maple Leafs · 03-28-2005, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuikSand

I'm mildly surprised that the Risky Business quote got only one vote -- I thought that might be the only other possible entry in this race.

You and me both.

BrianD · 03-28-2005, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

You and me both.

If it is any consolation, I nearly picked the Risky Business quote too.

There were so many good quotes, it was hard to pick. I also thought of going the Pulp Fiction route, but there were too many quotes to chose from. If I had to choose one, I'd have gone with:
Pumpkin: Which one is your wallet?
Jules Winnfield: It's the one that says "Bad Motherfucker".

Huckleberry · 03-28-2005, 11:27 AM

"Mother fuckers"?!?!?!?!? Two fucking words?!?!?!?!?!?

For fucking fuck's sake.

moriarty · 03-28-2005, 12:00 PM

Ahhh, blew it on #6 w/ my Asshat response. Well, at least it was better than 'poof'. WTF?

fantastic flying froggies · 03-28-2005, 12:01 PM

That has got to be the best IWS result write-up of all time! And coming from QS, no less...

VPI97 · 03-28-2005, 12:10 PM

God Dammit. Top 5, but still no fucking win.

Who's dick do I gotta suck to get a fucking win in this horse shit contest?

Dutch · 03-28-2005, 12:19 PM

I knew I would lose badly but this IWS rocked! Maybe, and if only, because it was created by the mind of Quiksand. They just don't go together at all....which is what makes this IWS an instant classic.

SplitPersonality1 · 03-28-2005, 01:08 PM

Hehehehe. I win. Fuck you all.

Oh shit. I have to provide the followup to perhaps the greatest IWS of all time.

FUCK!

EagleFan · 03-28-2005, 01:17 PM

Go fucking figure, the closest I come to winning a QS IWS and this is the one. Good job SP, you bastard

.

kingfc22 · 03-28-2005, 08:13 PM

At least I didn't come in fucking last place you stupid mother fucker (2 words)

cthomer5000 · 03-28-2005, 08:18 PM

wonderful fucking IWS. Unfortunately i didn't catch on until QS was already calculating the fucking results.

I would've fucked myself with an answer of "holy shit" for question 2 anyway.

Desnudo · 03-28-2005, 08:21 PM

FFS, Gone With the Wind was seventy years ago.

General Mike · 03-28-2005, 08:23 PM

fuck I could only manage 3rd place in this mother fucker. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Buccaneer · 03-28-2005, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tanglewood

No one else quoted Pulp Fiction? That's fucking outrageous...

Because it's one of the worst fucking stupidest movie ever? Shit, now he got me doing it.

Buccaneer · 03-28-2005, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by moriarty

Ahhh, blew it on #6 w/ my Asshat response. Well, at least it was better than 'poof'. WTF?

Gotta be MIJB, you think?

Munsonian · 03-28-2005, 09:14 PM

penis

[giggles]
[runs and hides]

kcchief19 · 03-28-2005, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Last edited by QuikSand : Today at 10:11 AM. Reason: fucking formatting errors

My favorite part of the results.

Can't believe I missed this one. Thirty slashes with a wet fucking noodle for not being an IWS regular.

MIJB#19 · 03-29-2005, 05:44 AM

Fuck, I clearly fucked up, despite nailing down the three fucking answers...

Alf · 03-29-2005, 06:25 AM

Guess this crowd is not very well educated, missing De Niro's "Taxi Driver" fucking quote !

03-28-2005, 10:18 AM	#8
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	Dola- With as foul a mouth as duckman has I would have expected a much higher score from him... __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

03-28-2005, 10:45 AM	#13
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	Damn...I mean, fuck...who hacked into Quiksand's programming? __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage.

03-28-2005, 12:01 PM	#21
fantastic flying froggies Pro Rookie Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Sunny South of France	That has got to be the best IWS result write-up of all time! And coming from QS, no less... __________________ Detroit Vampires (CFL) : Ve 're coming for your blood! Camargue Flamingos (WOOF): pretty in Pink

03-28-2005, 12:10 PM	#22
VPI97 Hokie, Hokie, Hokie, Hi Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Kennesaw, GA	God Dammit. Top 5, but still no fucking win. Who's dick do I gotta suck to get a fucking win in this horse shit contest? __________________ CT & Jivin - "Surprisingly Entertaining"

03-28-2005, 08:13 PM	#26
kingfc22 Head Coach Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Morgan Hill, CA	At least I didn't come in fucking last place you stupid mother fucker (2 words) __________________ Fan of SF Giants, 49ers, Sharks, Arsenal

03-28-2005, 10:10 AM	#2
Raiders Army Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Black Hole	Great fucking IWS.

03-28-2005, 10:13 AM	#3
albionmoonlight Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: North Carolina	Fuck. Stupid Fucking Catholicism. Making me think that Goddamn is worse than it really is. Congratufuckinglations, SP1.

03-28-2005, 10:15 AM	#4
panerd Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: St. Louis	This contest was just like a great big pussy, it was just waiting to be fucked. I couldn't come up with a quote and missed the deadline to enter. I didn't think it would be the weak "I don't give a damn". I would have hit the other 5 though.

03-28-2005, 10:15 AM	#5
TRO College Prospect Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Louisburg, KS	How eloquent. __________________ TRA, the Royal Ape

03-28-2005, 10:17 AM	#6
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	Goddamn motherfucking sixth question fucking killed me. I had a fucking perfect score until that son of a bitch question... __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

03-28-2005, 10:17 AM	#7
kurtism High School Varsity Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Noblesville	Best. Fucking. Results. Post. Ever.

03-28-2005, 10:20 AM	#9
tanglewood College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2004	No one else quoted Pulp Fiction? That's fucking outrageous...

03-28-2005, 10:47 AM	#14
KWhit Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Conyers GA	At least I made the bullshit list.

03-28-2005, 11:27 AM	#19
Huckleberry College Starter Join Date: Dec 2001	"Mother fuckers"?!?!?!?!? Two fucking words?!?!?!?!?!? For fucking fuck's sake. __________________ The one thing all your failed relationships have in common is you. The Barking Carnival (Longhorn-centered sports blog) College Football Adjusted Stats and Ratings

03-28-2005, 12:00 PM	#20
moriarty College Starter Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: A negative place	Ahhh, blew it on #6 w/ my Asshat response. Well, at least it was better than 'poof'. WTF?

03-28-2005, 12:19 PM	#23
Dutch "Dutch" Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Tampa, FL	I knew I would lose badly but this IWS rocked! Maybe, and if only, because it was created by the mind of Quiksand. They just don't go together at all....which is what makes this IWS an instant classic.

03-28-2005, 01:08 PM	#24
SplitPersonality1 College Benchwarmer Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Grafton, WI	Hehehehe. I win. Fuck you all. Oh shit. I have to provide the followup to perhaps the greatest IWS of all time. FUCK!

03-28-2005, 01:17 PM	#25
EagleFan Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Mays Landing, NJ USA	Go fucking figure, the closest I come to winning a QS IWS and this is the one. Good job SP, you bastard .

03-28-2005, 08:21 PM	#28
Desnudo Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here and There	FFS, Gone With the Wind was seventy years ago.

03-28-2005, 08:23 PM	#29
General Mike Pro Starter Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: The State of Rutgers	fuck I could only manage 3rd place in this mother fucker. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. __________________ Boise Stampede Continental Football League Jacksonville Jaguars GM North American Football League Nebraska Coach FOFC-BBCF Rutgers & Washington coach Bowl Bound-BBCF

03-28-2005, 09:14 PM	#32
Munsonian Mascot Join Date: Nov 2004	penis [giggles] [runs and hides] __________________ Land Me: 2005 Golden Scribe Finalist

03-29-2005, 05:44 AM	#34
MIJB#19 Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Maassluis, Zuid-Holland, Netherlands	Fuck, I clearly fucked up, despite nailing down the three fucking answers... __________________ * 2005 Golden Scribe winner for best FOF Dynasty about IHOF's Maassluis Merchantmen * Former GM of GEFL's Houston Oilers and WOOF's Curacao Cocktail

03-29-2005, 06:25 AM	#35
Alf Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Rennes, France	Guess this crowd is not very well educated, missing De Niro's "Taxi Driver" fucking quote ! __________________ FOFL - GML - IHOF - FranceStats

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