Kerry Gets No Ass

Fritz · 08-03-2004, 01:22 PM

Just doing my job, mam
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Poll: No Ass for Kerry after convention By Susan Page, USA TODAY

Last week's Democratic convention boosted voters' impressions of John Kerry but failed to give him the expected carnal action a USA TODAY survey finds. In the survey, taken Friday and Saturday, Bush led Kerry 60%-36% among likely ass opportunities.

The survey showed Kerry losing some potential ass and Bush gaining ass opportunity from a poll taken the week before the Boston convention.

The change in support was within the poll's margin of error in the sample of 763 likely pieces of ass. But it was nonetheless surprising, the first time since the chaotic Democratic convention in 1972 that a candidate hasn't gotten ass during his convention. Even Jimmy Carter was able to score some hiney, despite not wanting to.

USA TODAY extended its survey to Sunday to get a fuller picture of what's happening and because Kerry is known for his alter boy persona.

A Newsweek poll taken Thursday and Friday gave the Democratic ticket a 49%-42% lead, but this is attributed to the Edwards swinger lifestyle.

Analysts said the lack of ass may reflect the intensely dour appearance of the candidate. Nearly nine of 10 voters say their minds are made up and won't change. "Who would want to give up the booty to a guy who looks like he stepped right off the 10 dollar bill," said David Moore, senior editor of the Gallup Poll.

But Matthew Dowd, chief strategist for the Bush campaign, said "history doesn't bode well" for Kerry. Since World War II, the three challengers who have unseated presidents got Wilt Chamberlain levels of ass after their conventions.

Democratic leaders have expressed delight about the convention, which showed a united party and emphasized national security. Those surveyed gave the convention and its candidate high marks. Privately they wondered why such a prominent figure can't even close the deal with drunk women in his own party.

Kerry's acceptance speech Thursday was rated as "darn good" by 26% of the women surveyed, but nothing to "make your pants fall off."

Kerry's military service is seen as a plus. 52% of women say they have seen an Officer and a Gentlemen and would sleep with Richard Gere in a heartbeat. 76% of these women also indicated they wear prescription eye glasses.

Flasch186 · 08-03-2004, 01:24 PM

where does all that time go? Wish I ahd that much....wait, i do!!!

sachmo71 · 08-03-2004, 01:26 PM

LOL!

Franklinnoble · 08-03-2004, 01:26 PM

This used to be my specialty, you know. I was good in a living room. They'd send me in there, and I'd do it alone. And now I just... I don't know...

But tonight, our little project, our company had a very big night - very, very big night.

But it wasn't complete, wasn't nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete, because I couldn't share it with you. I couldn't hear your voice, or laugh about it with you. I miss my -- I miss my Fritz.

We live in a cynical world, a cynical world, and we work in a business of tough competitors.

I love you. You -- complete me.

rkmsuf · 08-03-2004, 01:27 PM

Show me the ass!

Ksyrup · 08-03-2004, 01:38 PM

I swear I made a comment in this thread. Was I Fritz'd out of existence?

Fritz · 08-03-2004, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

I swear I made a comment in this thread. Was I Fritz'd out of existence?

your post was stupid so I deleted it

Ksyrup · 08-03-2004, 01:47 PM

I'm sorry if it wasn't up to your high comedic standards.

I think a spoof article about Democrats getting ass requires a Clinton comment, anyway.

08-03-2004, 01:24 PM	#2
Flasch186 Coordinator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Jacksonville, FL	where does all that time go? Wish I ahd that much....wait, i do!!! __________________ Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL

08-03-2004, 01:26 PM	#4
Franklinnoble Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Placerville, CA	This used to be my specialty, you know. I was good in a living room. They'd send me in there, and I'd do it alone. And now I just... I don't know... But tonight, our little project, our company had a very big night - very, very big night. But it wasn't complete, wasn't nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete, because I couldn't share it with you. I couldn't hear your voice, or laugh about it with you. I miss my -- I miss my Fritz. We live in a cynical world, a cynical world, and we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You -- complete me. Last edited by Franklinnoble : 08-03-2004 at 01:27 PM.

08-03-2004, 01:27 PM	#5
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	Show me the ass! __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

08-03-2004, 01:38 PM	#6
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	I swear I made a comment in this thread. Was I Fritz'd out of existence? __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

08-03-2004, 01:47 PM	#8
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	I'm sorry if it wasn't up to your high comedic standards. I think a spoof article about Democrats getting ass requires a Clinton comment, anyway. __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

08-03-2004, 01:26 PM	#3
sachmo71 The boy who cried Trout Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: TX	LOL!

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