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04-04-2001, 08:48 PM
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n00b
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Waukesha WI USA
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The Great Newbie Dynasty
Xiao Dave stood at the edge of the crystal clear lake wondering which way the winds of change would take him. The old man approached, beaming eyes and wide grin betrayed his news.
"You got an offer young one, a good offer." "GM?" "Yes." "Let me guess, a storied franchise. The helm at Green Bay, Lambeau field. Titletown, and its my job to bring them more." "Not quite that storied." "Ahh, okay, still. A fans dream, Kansas City, the heart of the country still looking for the glory they deserve,..." "Er, no not them, a little less storied." "Denver, rulers of the AFC, well, except for Pitsburgh those years." "Again, no." "Buffalo? Cleveland? It's Cleveland isn't it, restoring the promise stolen by Baltimore." "Um, no, not Cleveland." "It isnt Dallas is it?" "No." "Oh, thank god. Chicago?" "No." "Who is it?" "New York." "The Giants, proud tradition in the heart of a storied division. Smashmouth footb,..." "The Jets." Xiao Dave stood at the edge of the quiet pond and just drank everything in for a moment. "Oh &@*#!"
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Xiao Dave "So there we were at 2:30 in the morning; I was beginning to wish I had never come to cadet training school. To the south lay water -- there was no way we could cross that. To the east and west two armies squeezed us in a pincer. The only way was north; I had to go for it and pray the Gods were smiling on me. I picked up the dice and threw two sixes. Caldecott couldn't believe it. My go again; another two sixes!" Rimmer, Red Dwarf |
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04-04-2001, 10:01 PM
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#2 |
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n00b
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Waukesha WI USA
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Xiao Dave sat back in his brand new Chief Executive Model XJ2 reclining leather chair and looked over the scouting reports. His starting quarterback was 105 years old, which was probably a misprint but it did say he spent about 10 years in a cream uniform in Tampa Bay, so he probably felt at least that. He had a dynamic young DE and enough starting Linebackers for two teams.
And Curtis Martin. And that was about it. And all of those were scheduled to get 40% raises for the next four to thirty years. Add to that he had the full heat of the New York press once they got the Giants articles done. He needed a new stadium, or better yet a new city. Las Vegas, Houston, Los Angeles and for some absurd reason Anchorage were shopping for teams. If only he could convince the reclusive billionare owner of the team to pry himself away from liquor and amphetemines long enough to rattle a sabre with, whoever they needed to rattle one at. Rubbing his throbbing temples, Xiao Dave got to work,...
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Xiao Dave "So there we were at 2:30 in the morning; I was beginning to wish I had never come to cadet training school. To the south lay water -- there was no way we could cross that. To the east and west two armies squeezed us in a pincer. The only way was north; I had to go for it and pray the Gods were smiling on me. I picked up the dice and threw two sixes. Caldecott couldn't believe it. My go again; another two sixes!" Rimmer, Red Dwarf |
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04-04-2001, 10:42 PM
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#3 |
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n00b
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Waukesha WI USA
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House Rules for Great Newbie Dynasty:
1 Renegotiation Only in final season of current contract. 2 53 man roster Thats all, Im counting on my own inexperience to make up for the other twelve odd restrictions, I certainly have no idea what makes a good team. Though I will blame any performance shortcomings on the Coach, Scout, and senile, alcaholic, pill-popping Owner, in that order. anyone want Testeverde? I'll throw in a seventh rounder and a nice but slightly used buick skylark.
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Xiao Dave "So there we were at 2:30 in the morning; I was beginning to wish I had never come to cadet training school. To the south lay water -- there was no way we could cross that. To the east and west two armies squeezed us in a pincer. The only way was north; I had to go for it and pray the Gods were smiling on me. I picked up the dice and threw two sixes. Caldecott couldn't believe it. My go again; another two sixes!" Rimmer, Red Dwarf |
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04-05-2001, 12:37 AM
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#4 |
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n00b
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Waukesha WI USA
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Tripping over the last box of whats his names stuff, that guy who used to coach the Giants, I settle down at my desk to look over the damage from the 2000 off season.
I inherrit competant but relatively unremarkable talent in the Head Coach and Head Scout departments. Coach: Artie Newhart age 58 QB VG LB G M X RB F Sec G D F WR G OPC F OL F K X DPC F DL F YT G AI X Scout: Omar Herrin age 39 QB G OL G LB VG RB VG K G Sec G R G DL G YT G Free Agents signed WR Kevin Williams T Paul Gruber DE Kieth McKensie S Chris Hudson TE Mark Chmura We start the season a little over 16 million under the cap. I talk to the comissioner about the legality of assigning myself a bonus out of that cap money. No go on that. Our roster at the start of 2000:
Now we'll see what a kid from the dairyland can do in the big city. ------------------ Xiao Dave "I swear he could lift more than 40 pounds at the combine,..."
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Xiao Dave "So there we were at 2:30 in the morning; I was beginning to wish I had never come to cadet training school. To the south lay water -- there was no way we could cross that. To the east and west two armies squeezed us in a pincer. The only way was north; I had to go for it and pray the Gods were smiling on me. I picked up the dice and threw two sixes. Caldecott couldn't believe it. My go again; another two sixes!" Rimmer, Red Dwarf |
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04-05-2001, 01:04 AM
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#5 |
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n00b
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Waukesha WI USA
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2000 Pre Season
at New York Jets 20 New Orleans 3 New York Jets 20 at Green Bay 10 at Baltimore 44 New York Jets 17 New York Giants 24 at New York Jets 7 2000 Regular Season New York Jets 26 at Green Bay 20 Erik Kramer inexplicably starts for the Green Bay Packers. Curtis Martin runs for a 14 yard TD in overtime to give the Jets the win despite having a miserable 266 yards of total offense. New England 14 at New York Jets 13 Two second quarter TD passes from Bledsoe are enough as we manage to cut 21 yards from our total in Green Bay. at New York Jets 31 Buffalo Bills 28 John Hall kicks the game winner with 3 secs to go, he had a tying one with three to go in Green Bay. I think of giving him a roster bonus, but he's a kicker and thats against NFL rules. New York Jets 23 at Tampa Bay 9 Victor Green swipes two from Keyshawn and scores both times. We improve to 3-1 and for the first time I dont need a sedative in the fourth quarter. at New York Jets 10 Pitsburgh 6 Pitsburghs offense puts on a display of anemia in front of the faithful at Giants Stadium. They do outgain the Jets by 28. But we win, heh. New York Jets 37 at New England 29 The previously undefeated Pats outgain us by 167 yards and score 22 points in the fourth quarter. Heh, again. at New York Jets 21 Miami 14 The New York Jets raise thier AFC East leading record to 6-1 by dismantling the Dolphins on a 41 yard pass with 1:21 remaining in the 4th. I'm the toast of the town, seen at all the trendy nightclubs often in the company of that cute asian girl from The Veiw. This GM stuff is easy! ------------------ Xiao Dave "I swear he could lift more than 40 pounds at the combine,..."
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Xiao Dave "So there we were at 2:30 in the morning; I was beginning to wish I had never come to cadet training school. To the south lay water -- there was no way we could cross that. To the east and west two armies squeezed us in a pincer. The only way was north; I had to go for it and pray the Gods were smiling on me. I picked up the dice and threw two sixes. Caldecott couldn't believe it. My go again; another two sixes!" Rimmer, Red Dwarf |
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