11-21-2017, 06:07 PM | #1 | ||
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The State of Insanity
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(Personal, Long) Vindication at last.
For six plus years, I've been plagued by a series of inflammatory diseases. Iritis (Inflammation of the Iris), infections in the lower leg. Diverticulitis and Crohn's disease. Severe inflammatory arthritis with increasing osteo arthritis.
I've gone through ER stays for my leg, for my eye, and for my GI. All three cases have led to either extra surgeries or actual hospital stays. I was unable to work for a couple years due to my health issues. It was just one hit, after another. I was able to get short term disability through my job at first, but they denied me Long Term Disability. In short, at that point I was looking at no job, no income, basically a life housebound, reliant on family and others for everything and anything from shopping to even basic household cleaning things. I hit bottom. There was a day where I went to my brother and said "Take me to the ER, because in the mental state I'm in, something's going to happen if I can't change anything in my life". I spent a few days in the ER, another ten days or so in hospital getting my life back together, and weeks in a part time hospitalization program to try to get my mental status back together again. One thing I realized is that I was blaming myself. I was taking the rejections from disability as "You could really work if you wanted to, you just don't want to work". That's a horrible mental state to be in. I remember before things even got totally bad, I went to a job interview to see how I could do. It was a 40 minute drive each way. At the end of it, I was in such pain and suffering I spent about the entire next two days in bed. It was like saying "If you just gutted it out, you could work. You're a failure. A fraud." over and over again to myself, despite the evidence that noone could do any better in the situation I was in. My family was supportive. My mom and Grandmother kept me believing that things would get better. My brother pushed me to keep at it with a Disability claim. They knew I wasn't faking it, or exaggerating things. My dad kept me going with financial support. My doctors knew what would make me "better". Not necessarily better enough to go to work again full time, but better enough to live a better life. They just had to convince the insurance companies that all other things had been tried first. And wouldn't you know it, the rhumatologist and GI doctors knew what the hell they were talking about. Right before they put me on a new drug early this year, they took blood work and my inflammatory markers were 300% over the number to be considered "high" inflammation. By the middle of the year, that number was just above the high inflammation mark. I was able to return to the working world (albeit a work from home, I still have trouble with driving and fatigue issues) In October, I faced a disability appeal hearing. I got my chance to tell my story on the record, in front of a judge. I got to explain something that no bunch of pencil pushers could ever tell from dry medical reports. I felt good about getting my side of the story out there. And just as important was having the judge explain to the occupational specialist that he wanted her to consider two sets of work restrictions, based of health conditions he described. The first set, was unreasonably good, and she said "Maybe he could have found work as a shipping clerk. Maybe." Then on the other set of restrictions, that I felt more fit my situations, she said "Any one of the last four restrictions you described would be considered disabling." Today, it was made official. I was officially designated disabled for that period of time. The financial side is good, it will let me pay back those who supported me during these horrible last few years. More importantly, that quiet little asshole voice inside me that kept trying to tell me "You're a fraud. You're nothing, you could really work if you had to" gets a giant middle finger and told to Get the hell out of my life. I wish my mother (passed Dec 2015) and Grandmother (passed last week) were here to see this. I wish I could tell them that they were right. I can tell my other family members how much their support means to me. I am vindicated. They are vindicated in their support of me. This suffering HAS a meaning.
__________________
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11-21-2017, 07:07 PM | #2 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Whittier
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Congrats might not be the best word, but I hope the sentiment still applies!
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11-21-2017, 07:17 PM | #3 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Dayton, OH
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Thanks for sharing.
Congrats on your validation and best of luck for continued recovery.
__________________
My listening habits |
11-21-2017, 08:02 PM | #4 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: New Jersey
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Congratulations on the validation and best of luck with continued recovery and happiness.
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11-21-2017, 08:14 PM | #5 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2005
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Glad it eventually worked out for you.
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11-21-2017, 09:05 PM | #6 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: The scorched Desert
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So happy things worked out for you Foz, I know you went through some tough things mentally, but your ability to persevere demonstrates how strong you are.
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11-21-2017, 09:25 PM | #7 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Sydney, Australia
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I echo all the above sentiments - glad this has worked out for you in the short term, and hopefully helps you going forward as well!
__________________
Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. --Ambrose Bierce |
11-21-2017, 09:26 PM | #8 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Dec 2009
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<3
*hugs* man! |
11-21-2017, 09:50 PM | #9 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Newburgh, NY
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Good for you. Keep your chin up.
__________________
To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.. - Mr. Rogers |
11-21-2017, 09:59 PM | #10 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Seven miles up
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I know what the path to get to where you are looks like. Glad to hear that you're able to move on and take some positive steps toward rebuilding your life. It's great news Foz.
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11-21-2017, 10:50 PM | #11 |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Somewhere More Familiar
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So glad to hear this, Foz.
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11-22-2017, 12:59 AM | #12 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Where Hip Hop lives
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Great news Foz! I am thrilled to hear this.
__________________
. . I would rather be wrong...Than live in the shadows of your song...My mind is open wide...And now I'm ready to start...You're not sure...You open the door...And step out into the dark...Now I'm ready. |
11-22-2017, 01:46 AM | #13 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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Good to hear
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"I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis |
11-22-2017, 07:29 AM | #14 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NYC
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Really glad to hear you are in such a better place mentally and you feel good about yourself.
Condolences on those in your support system who have passed. |
11-22-2017, 08:55 AM | #16 |
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Glad to hear this, Fozzie! I hope things continue to improve for you.
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11-22-2017, 09:09 AM | #17 |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Burke, VA
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I'm happy for you, brother. Peace be with you.
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11-22-2017, 09:11 AM | #18 |
Torchbearer
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: On Lake Harriet
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Not sure congrats is the appropriate word, but I'm glad the news is good. I'd also say you can tell your grandmother and mother whatever you want at any time. Maybe even write them a letter.
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11-22-2017, 09:43 AM | #19 |
Grey Dog Software
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Phoenix, AZ by way of Belleville, IL
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Given the situation, it sounds like this is the best resolution you could ask for. Hopefully this gives you some peace of mind moving forward and don't underestimate the amount of willpower and mental strength it took to get you to this point. Well done!
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