So I found a cell phone

[jeff061]

Originally Posted by Subby

Wow, leave it to Schmidty to ruin it for everyone.

Yeah, the fun was in the mystery and now we know who's phone it was .

[JediKooter]

You sure it's not Kathy Griffin's phone?

[Rizon]

Maybe it's Hell Atlantic's phone. Or Hornsmaniac.

[Toddzilla]

I sent a text to the gf and asked how i could get the phone back to it's owner. She asked that I leave it where I found it and to leave it the fuck alone (in all caps, natch). I said I'd be happy to, but there's no guarantee that it won't accidentally get knocked into the shitter, so option 2 would be a good idea. After getting called a bunch of names I won't repeat here (they rhyme with "maggot", "bigger", and "snitch" mostly) I said I'd feel better getting help from someone more stable and so I was going to start calling random people from the contact list. I texted her the names of two of the females our pink phone aficionado likes to communicate with and that led to her calling the phone non-stop for over an hour. I sat there and watched the phone ring over and over and over again.

I got tired of that and texted her a picture of the toilet and said here is where the phone can be found and left it next to the bowl where I found it.

and as a post script, I created a google voice account using the name of one of the girls Mr. Pink is involved with - this account will text the girlfriend at random intervals over the next week or so, depending on my mood.

[JediKooter]

Yup. Sounds like Kathy Griffith alright.

[Subby]

Truth be told, that's a pretty weak ending.

[Toddzilla]

Meh.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Dark Cloud

The fuck?

I assumed the question was related to the whole liking-big-butts thing.

Of course, there's always a risk whenever we "assume" anything, so {shrug}

[Rizon]

My wife has a big butt, and 99% of the time she's hit on by black guys who tell her how great her butt is. Happens a few times a week.

[molson]

I just hope Chief Rum was entertained by this thread.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by molson

I just hope Chief Rum was entertained by this thread.

I believe he was.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

I feel worse for whatever he is cheating with that that POS thing you texted with. Sounds like they are a couple that deserve each other.

PS. Go back in the john. If it's still there, piss on it.

[Grover]

Originally Posted by Toddzilla

I was taking a dump at work

There is nothing as satisfying as getting paid to take a dump.

[Grover]

Originally Posted by Julio Riddols

Keep the phone. Purchase a one time use phone from Best Buy, put all the relevant contacts from the pink phone in it. Take it with you places and take its picture with a rope tied around it next to road signs, landmarks, etc. Send the pictures from that phone to everyone on the contact list that you added to the new phone. When you call people, tell them "This is evil phone, I have your precious pinky".

Finally, send one last message with the new phone to the contact you most believe would try to retrieve the phone, then put the two phones in the same place, with the new phone holding a knife to the pink phone. Give them the coordinates, tell them they have 3 hours or Pinky gets it.

YES.

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by Toddzilla

I sent a text to the gf and asked how i could get the phone back to it's owner. She asked that I leave it where I found it and to leave it the fuck alone (in all caps, natch). I said I'd be happy to, but there's no guarantee that it won't accidentally get knocked into the shitter, so option 2 would be a good idea. After getting called a bunch of names I won't repeat here (they rhyme with "maggot", "bigger", and "snitch" mostly) I said I'd feel better getting help from someone more stable and so I was going to start calling random people from the contact list. I texted her the names of two of the females our pink phone aficionado likes to communicate with and that led to her calling the phone non-stop for over an hour. I sat there and watched the phone ring over and over and over again.

I got tired of that and texted her a picture of the toilet and said here is where the phone can be found and left it next to the bowl where I found it.

and as a post script, I created a google voice account using the name of one of the girls Mr. Pink is involved with - this account will text the girlfriend at random intervals over the next week or so, depending on my mood.

Wow you have a lot of free time...

[kcchief19]

Originally Posted by Subby

Truth be told, that's a pretty weak ending.

Given that the story began with Todd taking a crap, how did we really expect this to end?

[Grover]

Originally Posted by kcchief19

Given that the story began with Todd taking a crap, how did we really expect this to end?

It was going to end up in the toilet, that's where.

[Suicane75]

Originally Posted by Noop

Man... not that it matters but is this guy white or black?

The guy was black, not that that makes any bit of difference at all........but it kind of does.

[Julio Riddols]

Was someone pushing their finger into Louis C.K.'s forehead for a long time?

[kingfc22]

This was an entertaining read. Thank you.

[Shkspr]

Originally Posted by Julio Riddols

Was someone pushing their finger into Louis C.K.'s forehead for a long time?

It's Rash Wednesday.

[Desnudo]

Originally Posted by Autumn

Toddzilla may not be the hero we need, DarkCloud, but he is the hero we deserve.

Nice guy that he is and all

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by Rizon

My wife has a big butt, and 99% of the time she's hit on by black guys who tell her how great her butt is. Happens a few times a week.

With one story done, the next begins ...

[Drake]

Threads like this are the reason that when you decide to fuck up somebody's life for pleasure/justice/revenge/whatever, you don't take the story to the internet. The less people know, the more you can get away with.

It's also the reason Batman wears a mask and doesn't tell people he's Bruce Wayne.

(Sorry to anyone who needed a spoiler alert for the previous sentence.)

[Sun Tzu]

Hot dogs.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Sun Tzu

Hot dogs.

And apple pie.

[Sun Tzu]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

And apple pie.

Perhaps an apple pie with a hot dog stuffed crust?

[DaddyTorgo]

Whatever happened with the original story?

[M GO BLUE!!!]

I thought it was about abortion using guns.

[Rizon]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

I thought it was about abortion using guns.

Another abortion/gun control debate on teh internet. Yay!

[sterlingice]

This makes me think of a different thread:



Toddzilla is that girl who can't sing and Liam Neeson apparently has a pink phone and apparently:

Originally Posted by Toddzilla

is a racist misogynistic piece of shit who cheats on his girlfriend, doesn't pay child support on either of his 2 kids, blows all of his money on drugs and alcohol, and loves pictures of chicks with huge asses.

SI

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Sun Tzu

Perhaps an apple pie with a hot dog stuffed crust?

I would try that if it is resting on Olivia Wilde's ass.

[Toddzilla]

A (not-really) funny post-post-post script to this story...

I got an email from Google saying my Google Voice number - the one I set up for the faux side-chick - hasn't been used in a number of years so it's going to be deleted.

I logged in to the account to delete it and, I've got to hand it to the aggrieved girlfriend, she's committed. For about 2 weeks she texted the account with all kinds of threats and awful language and such, in all-caps of course. Basically all a version of "Who are you? I'm going to find you and beat your ass/kill you!" and "Leave my man alone!" Which is odd because I only used the number to text her one time.

I hope this lovely couple lived happily ever after.

[Suicane75]

I'd bet that one of them is dead, or they have 4 kids.