GACK! Hallmark Channel Goes Off the Deep End

WSUCougar · 12-08-2003, 01:53 PM

Quote:

"A Carol Christmas," 7 p.m. Dec. 7 on the Hallmark Channel - Tori Spelling is "a modern-day Scrooge in stilettos" as an egomaniacal talk-show host in a "Christmas Carol" update with William Shatner and Gary Coleman.

I happened to hear a reference to this on the radio, but thought I had heard it wrong. Must be some ad for a SNL skit, right? Wrong. Sure enough, I did a quick net search and bingo-bango, there ya have it! The weirdest collection of mediocre acting talent this side of Gilligan's Island.

Tory Spelling, the human female equivalent of a non-collossal squid.

Bill Shatner, who would get a lifetime mulligan from me for his career portrayal of James T. Kirk except for the fact that that rug on his head KEEPS...GETTING...WORSE.

Gary Coleman...which answers the question about what he's been doing with his time since his crushing defeat in the California gubernatorial race. GARY COLEMAN?!?

rkmsuf · 12-08-2003, 01:56 PM

that's gold baby...

Nyarlahotep · 12-08-2003, 01:57 PM

Just throw in Keanau Reeves and you could have a Mt. Rushmore.

Cringer · 12-08-2003, 02:01 PM

Any cameo roles? Maybe Tonya Harding could add something to this piece or sh....art.

WSUCougar · 12-08-2003, 02:03 PM

Gilbert Godfried, as Jacob Marley

Franklinnoble · 12-08-2003, 02:03 PM

Tori Spelling?

Maybe she'll be wearing skimpy lingerie when she's visited at night by Marley and the three ghosts...

Butter · 12-08-2003, 02:05 PM

I watched about 5 minutes of this last night for the "train-wreck" factor, but had to switch it off when my TV started to chemically decompose.

Ksyrup · 12-08-2003, 02:06 PM

Andrew Andrew Shue...Where Are You?
I've got a part for you now...

rkmsuf · 12-08-2003, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Butter_of_69
I watched about 5 minutes of this last night for the "train-wreck" factor, but had to switch it off when my TV started to chemically decompose.

I had the same experience when renting Punch Drunk Love...

WSUCougar · 12-08-2003, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Franklinnoble
Tori Spelling?

Joan Rivers, eat your heart out.

Cringer · 12-08-2003, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by rkmsuf
I had the same experience when renting Punch Drunk Love...

i liked Punch Drunk Love

rkmsuf · 12-08-2003, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cringer
i liked Punch Drunk Love

I only made it through 15 minutes...

WSUCougar · 12-08-2003, 02:08 PM

HUMBUG!

KWhit · 12-08-2003, 02:08 PM

I assume Gary Coleman plays Tiny Tim.

This has the potential to be the funniest Christmas movie ever.

Cringer · 12-08-2003, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KWhit
I assume Gary Coleman plays Tiny Tim.

This has the potential to be the funniest Christmas movie ever.

Anything with Gary Coleman in it HAS to be great! Do they implement the " Watchya talking 'bout......" line though?

SlapBone · 12-08-2003, 02:13 PM

I actually saw a movie (and a pretty bad one at that) the other night where she played a role that was perfect for her.

I forget the movie (as expected), but she played some dude's sideline-skank that he couldn't be seen in public with, and she drove a car with a big Red Bull can on top of it. It was classic Tori.

As a side note, has anyone noticed the americanized version of "The Iron Chef" hosted by none other than Shatner himself. Another perfect fit as I see it.

Ksyrup · 12-08-2003, 02:16 PM

Has she had surgery to rid herself of Horse-Eye Complex yet?

KWhit · 12-08-2003, 02:17 PM

Whatchu talkin' 'bout Ebenezer?

rkmsuf · 12-08-2003, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ksyrup
Has she had surgery to rid herself of Horse-Eye Complex yet?

All these groups out there have people in love with them...I'm sure there's a horse-eye fetish group somewhere which she's tapping into...

cthomer5000 · 12-08-2003, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by rkmsuf
All these groups out there have people in love with them...I'm sure there's a horse-eye fetish group somewhere which she's tapping into...

Daddy couldn't buy her looks.

WSUCougar · 12-08-2003, 04:35 PM

Horse Eye Complex? How about cephalopodism?

Ksyrup · 12-08-2003, 04:45 PM

Did you know that the Colossal Squid has its own Yahoo directory?

WSUCougar · 12-08-2003, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ksyrup
Did you know that the Colossal Squid has its own Yahoo directory?

Yeah, but did YOU know that there's actually a Cephalopod News?!?

Ksyrup · 12-08-2003, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by WSUCougar
Yeah, but did YOU know that there's actually a Cephalopod News?!?

"Republished headlines for the discerning invertebrate"

Wow, this has a much larger circulation than I ever imagined...

Two Thirds Rectal Trout · 12-08-2003, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KWhit
I assume Gary Coleman plays Tiny Tim.

This has the potential to be the funniest Christmas movie ever.

Sorry, that movie is reserved for The Star Wars Holiday special (1978) which includes the likes of Beatrice Arthur, Harvey Kornman and Art Carney along with the usual suspects.

*shudder*

KWhit · 12-08-2003, 06:59 PM

I watched that back in the day.

12-08-2003, 01:56 PM	#2
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	that's gold baby... __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

12-08-2003, 02:01 PM	#4
Cringer Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Edinburg,TX	Any cameo roles? Maybe Tonya Harding could add something to this piece or sh....art. __________________ You Stole Fizzy Lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and steralized, so you get NOTHING! You lose!

12-08-2003, 02:03 PM	#5
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	Gilbert Godfried, as Jacob Marley __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage.

12-08-2003, 02:05 PM	#7
Butter Coordinator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Dayton, OH	I watched about 5 minutes of this last night for the "train-wreck" factor, but had to switch it off when my TV started to chemically decompose. __________________ My listening habits

12-08-2003, 02:06 PM	#8
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	Andrew Andrew Shue...Where Are You? I've got a part for you now... __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

12-08-2003, 01:57 PM	#3
Nyarlahotep College Benchwarmer Join Date: Mar 2003	Just throw in Keanau Reeves and you could have a Mt. Rushmore.

12-08-2003, 02:03 PM	#6
Franklinnoble Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Placerville, CA	Tori Spelling? Maybe she'll be wearing skimpy lingerie when she's visited at night by Marley and the three ghosts...

12-08-2003, 02:08 PM	#13
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	HUMBUG! __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage.

12-08-2003, 02:08 PM	#14
KWhit Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Conyers GA	I assume Gary Coleman plays Tiny Tim. This has the potential to be the funniest Christmas movie ever.

12-08-2003, 02:13 PM	#16
SlapBone High School JV Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Houston, Texas	I actually saw a movie (and a pretty bad one at that) the other night where she played a role that was perfect for her. I forget the movie (as expected), but she played some dude's sideline-skank that he couldn't be seen in public with, and she drove a car with a big Red Bull can on top of it. It was classic Tori. As a side note, has anyone noticed the americanized version of "The Iron Chef" hosted by none other than Shatner himself. Another perfect fit as I see it. Last edited by SlapBone : 12-08-2003 at 02:15 PM.

12-08-2003, 02:16 PM	#17
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	Has she had surgery to rid herself of Horse-Eye Complex yet? __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

12-08-2003, 02:17 PM	#18
KWhit Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Conyers GA	Whatchu talkin' 'bout Ebenezer?

12-08-2003, 04:35 PM	#21
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	Horse Eye Complex? How about cephalopodism? __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage.

12-08-2003, 04:45 PM	#22
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	Did you know that the Colossal Squid has its own Yahoo directory? __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

12-08-2003, 06:59 PM	#26
KWhit Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Conyers GA	I watched that back in the day.

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