Making the Rounds... (Canada)

[Celeval]

A Truly Canadian Apology to the USA...
Courtesy of Colin Mochrie from This Hour Has 22 Minutes,
CBC Television

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own. It would be like if, well, say you had ten times the television audeince we did and you flood our market with great shows, cheaper than we could produce. I know you'd never do that.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. As word of apology, please accept all of our NHL teams which, one by one, are going out of business and moving to your fine country.

I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.

I'm sorry for Alan Thicke, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Loverboy, that song from Seriff that ends with a really high-pitched long note.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but we feel your pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Thank you.

[Dr. Auschwitz]

I am a troll, and if I don't stop this behavior, SkyDog is going to contact my ISP.

[SlapBone]

I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.

Sorry, your history is inacurate. We fought the British during the war of 1812. Any burning of the White House goes to their credit.






For all things good about canada go here:

http://www.negativepositive.org/fuck-canada.html

[Draft Dodger]

funny, but I'd bet it's not from Colin Mochrie

[klayman]

Originally posted by Draft Dodger
funny, but I'd bet it's not from Colin Mochrie

Here is the clip from This Hour has 22 minutes.

Sorry.

[Sessy Chris Norton]

I am a troll, and if I don't stop this behavior, SkyDog is going to contact my ISP.

[Celeval]

Originally posted by SlapBone
Sorry, your history is inacurate. We fought the British during the war of 1812. Any burning of the White House goes to their credit.

Actually, I had thought that too, but figured better to post the whole thing than clip and cut. :-)

Kevin

[Maple Leafs]

Originally posted by Draft Dodger
funny, but I'd bet it's not from Colin Mochrie

In what has to be an internet first, this piece has actually been attributed correctly.

Don't worry, though, within a week it will be claiming to be by George Carlin.

[WSUCougar]

Originally posted by Celeval
I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And if he really thinks that the United States didn't "pitch in" against Hitler until December 1941, he needs a history lesson to go along with the beating with a large stick.

[Bee]

Despite the inaccuracies, it's still very funny.

[Simms]

Originally posted by SlapBone
[b]Sorry, your history is inacurate. We fought the British during the war of 1812. Any burning of the White House goes to their credit.

That's like saying the Revolutionary War was fought between the British and the British. After all, everyone in colonial America were just Brits, right? The U.S. didn't exist (yet).

The War of 1812 was fought between the U.S. and British *North Americans* who lived and fought in what is now Southern Ontario and Quebec. Their ancestry was certainly British, but at the time, they were the early settlers of a country that just didn't exist yet.

Buoyed in part by successfully defending their territory during the War of 1812, the British North America Act was signed in 1867 which recognized the Dominion of Canada as a sovreign country.

[Bee]

A sovereign country...


ruledy by the Queen of England.

[Simms]

Originally posted by Bee
A sovereign country...


ruledy by the Queen of England.

Canada is NOT "ruled" by the Queen of England...never has been.

She is a *ceremonial* head of state ONLY. We are ruled by a Prime Minister and the House of Commons.

That aside, maybe "sovreign" wasn't the best choice of words.

[Joe Canadian]

Originally posted by SlapBone
Sorry, your history is inacurate. We fought the British during the war of 1812. Any burning of the White House goes to their credit.






For all things good about canada go here:

http://www.negativepositive.org/fuck-canada.html

The dumbest site I've ever been to in my life... sorry if you believe that crap, if you do I guess you'd be a 'dumb American.'

[Bee]

Isn't the Prime Minister just a representative of the Queen?

Edit: Oops that's the Governor General...the Prime Minister is the one that does things in the name of the Queen.

[SlapBone]

Originally posted by Bee
A sovereign country...


ruledy by the Queen of England.

And taxed and governed by the French

[Draft Dodger]

Originally posted by Maple Leafs
In what has to be an internet first, this piece has actually been attributed correctly.

Don't worry, though, within a week it will be claiming to be by George Carlin.

well, knock me over with a feather.

[SlapBone]

Originally posted by Joe Canadian
The dumbest site I've ever been to in my life... sorry if you believe that crap, if you do I guess you'd be a 'dumb American.'

Struck a nerve...EH?

[Simms]

Originally posted by SlapBone
Struck a nerve...EH?

I've always preferred this site:

http://cwd.ptbcanadian.com/index2.html

[WSUCougar]

IIRC, the British troops who burned the White House were British regulars who had been fighting Napoleon's forces in Spain (not "British *North Americans*).

[SlapBone]

Originally posted by Simms
I've always preferred this site:

http://cwd.ptbcanadian.com/index2.html

That site looks pretty funny. I will have to give it a good read when I get off of work.

[Joe Canadian]

All I'm going to say is this....

If someone was was not an American posted something like this about Americans, you guys would be all over them for being an America hater... so some other name...

You can give the insults, but can you take them...

[Bee]

Originally posted by Joe Canadian
All I'm going to say is this....

If someone was was not an American posted something like this about Americans, you guys would be all over them for being an America hater... so some other name...

You can give the insults, but can you take them...

That's funny because I assumed Celeval was a Canadian. Of course, if it had been someone not from America (like someone from North Dakota or France), you are probably right.

[WSUCougar]

Originally posted by Joe Canadian
All I'm going to say is this....

If someone was was not an American posted something like this about Americans, you guys would be all over them for being an America hater... so some other name...

You can give the insults, but can you take them...

Can't speak for the others, but this American is taking it all as light-hearted fun. I'm just pointing out the historical inaccuracies for the hell of it.

No harm, no foul.

[Joe Canadian]

Originally posted by WSUCougar
Can't speak for the others, but this American is taking it all as light-hearted fun. I'm just pointing out the historical inaccuracies for the hell of it.

No harm, no foul.

Wasn't referring to you, no worries.

[WillyWTE]

I always thought that Leno's Jaywalkers were the upper tiers of American intellect. No?

[johnnyshaka]

Originally posted by WillyWTE
I always thought that Leno's Jaywalkers were the upper tiers of American intellect. No?

No...no...those are Canadian tourists...or so I've been told.

[Bee]

There's no such thing as the upper tiers of American intellect...it's just a myth that it actually exists.

[SlapBone]

Originally posted by Joe Canadian
All I'm going to say is this....

If someone was was not an American posted something like this about Americans, you guys would be all over them for being an America hater... so some other name...

You can give the insults, but can you take them...

Sorry, do you live in some sort of reverse dimension? The original post was a slam on the US. I simply responded in kind.

The only personal comment that I made was concerning the rewriting of history some canadiens have participated in recently.

edit: "reverse" damnit not "diverse" we all know that canadiens live in a "diverse" dimension.

edit 2: As for the website I posted above, it's not my place to defend it. It totally stands on it's on merit. A lot of the things he says are backed up by links to more reputable sources... a lot aren't. (Personally the guy pisses me off when he talks about sports and those who love sports.) I figured I would give him a bump because I linked his images.

[Bee]

Originally posted by SlapBone
The only personal comment that I made was concerning the rewriting of history some canadiens have participated in recently.

Luckily for the rest of the world, we Americans are there to set the record straight when other's try to rewrite history...

[Joe Canadian]

Originally posted by SlapBone
Sorry, do you live in some sort of reverse dimension? The original post was a slam on the US. I simply responded in kind.

The only personal comment that I made was concerning the rewriting of history some canadiens have participated in recently.

edit: "reverse" damnit not "diverse" we all know that canadiens live in a "diverse" dimension.

edit 2: As for the website I posted above, it's not my place to defend it. It totally stands on it's on merit. A lot of the things he says are backed up by links to more reputable sources... a lot aren't. (Personally the guy pisses me off when he talks about sports and those who love sports.) I figured I would give him a bump because I linked his images.

1) The original post is a quote from a sketch on a Canadian political satirical comedy show... it's meant to be a joke. Just to let you know, the show takes cheap shots at Canadian politics and issues just as much as it does international issues.

2) The site you posted has no merit at all, it exists to bash Canada... nothing more.

[CamEdwards]

Can we please get back to what's really important in life... like bashing France?

[Fritz]

Originally posted by Joe Canadian
You can give the insults, but can you take them...

So, your point?

[FargoFreez aka fof playa]

Originally posted by Bee
That's funny because I assumed Celeval was a Canadian. Of course, if it had been someone not from America (like someone from North Dakota or France), you are probably right.

Boy, that's pretty damn funny. ha ha prick

I wish I could say that I'm Canadian.

[SlapBone]

Originally posted by Joe Canadian
2) The site you posted has no merit at all, it exists to bash Canada... nothing more.

Actually, the guy is pretty universal in his bashing if you check out the entirety of his website. The people of his home town get it much worse than the canadians do.

If canada is the greatest country on earth to live, then why do they let the minority french pass all the laws and tax them? (See there Cam i got in a shot at france and canada all in the same sentence.)

Joe, you take me entirely too seriously. I have stated that I don't believe in everything from the negative-positive but yet you still act like I hold to it like some creed.

The reason I think the site is so funny (and probably the reason the guy wrote it) is because the really xenophobic, nationalistic, canadians will never see the satire because of the very affliction that ails them.

Hell, I'm from Texas... The true power lies not in that you think that you are better than everyone else (canada), it's in knowing it (Texas).

Floor open for Texas bashing.

I dig this kind of stuff. The only person taking it seriously is you.

[FrogMan]

Originally posted by SlapBone
If canada is the greatest country on earth to live, then why do they let the minority french pass all the laws and tax them? (See there Cam i got in a shot at france and canada all in the same sentence.)

HUH??? Well, if you wanna take a shot at the French, be my guess, just leave the French Canadians out of it though

Seriously, I don't know where you got your information about French minority passing the laws and taxing people... The Province of Quebec is probably the most taxed in the whole country, but the other provinces do what they want about their own provincial taxes...

FM

[sabotai]

French Canadians piss me off!

[FrogMan]

I love you sab

FM

[MikeVic]

I'm not commenting on anything about Canada or the US... I hate that negativepositive page, it's one of the dumbest things I've seen, and I'm too sleepy to say anymore...

[WSUCougar]

Floor open for Texas bashing

Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.

One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I re attached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."

One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I re attached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a guy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train travailing 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president of the United States."

[Celeval]

Originally posted by Bee
That's funny because I assumed Celeval was a Canadian

Nope, a Connecticut Yankee in Atlanta. Never been out of the United States - not Canada, not Mexico, not California.

Just got it forwarded to me from a friend who found it funny and thought I'd share.

[Easy Mac]

No no Cel, Canada and Mexico are provinces of the US, California is part of Austria though.