Two bad phone calls.

[The Afoci]

At six, I checked my cell phone for messages and saw it was dead. I pick up the phone at work and call my sister who is turning 15 today. My mom answers and with a simple "Who is everything on the mean streets of Hawley?" she responds "Horrible!"

I go on to find out my sister is having complications from a root canal she had yesterday and has been in the hospital with troubles breathing, my day is suffering from Bell's Palusy (sp?) and the left side of his face is numb again. This is the second time this year to go with numbness he has had in general on his left side and his sinuses exploding earlier this month. I find out my dog's kidneys are failing, but the vet was able to keep her alive through the weekend, so we are going to take her hunting a few last times as that is the things she loves the most in the whole world. There is a small chance her kidneys can start back up, but the vet said to prepare who you have to for her to be put down.

After that, which is a bad enough phone call in its self, I call my girlfriend to find out that this guy who has been stalking her, but left her alone for a month gave her a letter with graphical things he was going to do to her. She snapped and said to leave her the fuck alone and this guy(40+ married with a daughter) left her an ominous message. I snap some myself and went by his house, he only lives a few blocks away, but out of the way, see his daughter. I take a picture of her with my girlfriends digital cam(yes I have pics, $5.00) and e-mail it to him saying and I quote "I know where you live too, you fucker!"

Now this guy has been driving by our place, and started saying comments on stuff I was doing the day before to her. Now he is a little guy and I am pretty big, 6'1" 190lbs and fairly well built. I could destroy this guy, but never have wanted too. I left him a message on his cell phone that if he talks to her again, me and a few friends will make a visit to him and that I would make his life as much of a hell as he has been making ours.

Anyone have any other non-go to the police options of taking care of this bastard. I know a cop and he said that so far, with the exception of the last letter we got nothing and even with the last one, it is hard to do anything but a restraining order which will just piss him off more.

Perhaps some positive vibes wouldn't hurt either for my dog, dad and sister.

Well here ends the vent, and if you hear about some crazy stuff going down in Fargo/Moorhead, you can say you kinda sorta new me from this message board.

[JW]

Is his wife aware of what is going on? That is one possible option. Might have a big effect, might have no effect. If you think it might have a positive effect, let her know what is going on.

As for taking a pic of his daughter, I don't think that was the way to go. Besides lowering yourself to his level, you expose yourself to possible legal action. You would be surprised how many scumbags turn the table legally on the good guys in such situations.

[sabotai]

I'm with JW. Tell his wife, or find someway to inform her. Make a copy of the letter he wrote and mail the copy to his wife.

[The Afoci]

Some clarifications to my rant.

The whole stalker thing started with this guy saying his daughter who is 8 or 9 is going to be having a garage sale and asked if my girlfriend, who is a parts runner(also in college) if she would come to it. She said yeah and gave her email and cell number to him and said try my cell on the weekends or my email during the week and I will come. Now he works at a dealership as a recon guy right next to the parts store. Soon he started giving her letter that were odd, because he was married, but nothing too bad other than his bitching about a cheating wife blah blah blah. He soon was calling all the time, writing letters proclaiming love and driving by all the time. I was about to beat the guy down and she said she wanted to talk to him and say that nothing was going to happen between them and she would like to be friends. Bad move, he got really psycho and she snapped at him and he quit for a month. Then today happens.

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by sabotai
I'm with JW. Tell his wife, or find someway to inform her. Make a copy of the letter he wrote and mail the copy to his wife.

The wife angle is something I am going to go on. He has said in the letter they are only together for the kid and are actually not a couple, she has a boyfriend and he is allowed to have a girlfriend, but the kid can't know. That could be a lie. I do admit the daughter pic thing is over the edge, but I want to draw a little line in the sand that this has to end now.

[MikeVic]

Wow.. hope everything gets better for you. I have no idea what I would do in this situation. Maybe go to your parents' house with your girflfriend for a bit? Help them get through it, while staying away from this stalker?

[The Afoci]

MikeVic, we are going there tomorrow night until Sunday night, but we both have to work tomorrow. I have told the people in the house we live in to watch out for the guy. I am not to worried about him doing anything at the house though as we live across from the Police Station. But then again the kid selling drugs on the corner on Thursdays doesn't seem to mind at all. But that is a different rant.

[SegRat]

Dont feel bad. 2 weeks ago my Mother was on the way home with her husband after a night celebrating their anniversary. Her husband is a loser, busted for drugs, drunk driving, domestic abuse at least 6 times, breaking and entering, and who knows what else. On their way home he said he was tired of fighting, and stated tonight we are going to die. He was the passenger. He stepped on the accelerator and cranked the wheel. She tried to over correct it and lost control of their Ford explorer. The vehicle rolled 6 times and she was ejected from the vehicle. Some how she had minor injuries. He broke his collarbone, every rib on his left side, and broke his pelvic bone in 2 places. Last week he made her go to the district attorney and tell them that she was lying that he didn’t try to kill her.

My best friend is at a children’s hospital with his 1 year old daughter, also my god child. She just had heart surgery for the second time in a year.

One of my good friends just died from mixing painkillers and binge drinking. He was only 24. He was dead for 9 days before he was found.

Another good friend, who will be 31 in February, is paralyzed and they still have not figured out what caused it. They have been running test after test, with no answers.

And finally my girlfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me. She can’t understand why I am under so much stress.

[FrogMan]

dude, that's some pretty fucked up shit! (sorry, I don't usually speak like that, I'm just overwhelmed)


Don't know what to say, as I've never had to deal with so much stuff in my life, maybe simply best of luck...

FM

[Anthony]

there is nothing you can do. unless you're willing to take this to another level, playing it cool and such won't do much. personally i would take it to the next level. if it was just me i wouldn't care too much, other than physical harm there isn't much people can do to me. but involve my wife (in your case, your girlfriend), then things are different. if you're a man then it's your duty to protect those who you love who many be in danger.

like i said, if you're ready to take it to the next level then what you should do is obvious. otherwise, just bark at him, have a video camera handy and let him see you filming him.

[SunDancer]

Originally posted by The Afoci
The whole stalker thing started with this guy saying his daughter who is 8 or 9 is going to be having a garage sale and asked if my girlfriend, who is a parts runner(also in college) if she would come to it.

Might not want to take pics or bnring in his daugther who is 8 or 9 years old. If you get a restriting order and he violates it, he's in big trouble. What protection or recourse who you have without one? You be as liable as him.

[The Afoci]

Just so everyone knows, I am not saying this is the worst thing to ever happen, it was just two very bad phone calls. I have had worse incidents in my life. I don't want to sound like a whinner because other than the dog and possible my dad and the stalker, everyone will more than likely turn out just fine.

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by Hell Atlantic
like i said, if you're ready to take it to the next level then what you should do is obvious. otherwise, just bark at him, have a video camera handy and let him see you filming him.

Oh yes, I am more than ready to bring this to the next level, mm, thus the pics of his daughter. But my G/F is still on the lets not go to jail for assault train of thought. I do know some shady characters though that wouldn't mind if they were caught and had to spend 6 months plus in jail, such as her uncle who is an homeless meth addict. He already said he was going to break the guys legs, but we talked him out of it.

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by SunDancer
Might not want to take pics or bnring in his daugther who is 8 or 9 years old. If you get a restriting order and he violates it, he's in big trouble. What protection or recourse who you have without one? You be as liable as him.

Yeah, but he is bringing my girlfriend and me into a situation we don't want to be in. I feel my best leverage is going after his weakest and hopefully most valued possession, his daughter. Cruel, yes, but hopefully effective. The cop I know says he will back us if anything comes to a head and we have numerous people that know of the situation so luckily there will be lots of witnesses and whatnot to what has all been going on.

[korme]

The Afoci has a real life?

HOLY SHIT.

Sorry about the bad news man, hope everything turns out for the best.

[Anthony]

the next level is not necessarily physical. getting physical is your last option, and legally to protect your own ass should be used as self defense.

the next level is getting dirty - throwing rocks threw his window in the middle of the night. slashing tires. call his job and complain about him anonymously. no phone calls to his house unless from public phones. basically you want to increase the pressure but nothing that can be traced back to you.

people only do what they think they can get away with. taking it to the next level shows he'll be met with resistance. if he doesn't get the picture he may be mentally off-centre, normal tactics may not work on him as they would on someone you can reason with. that's when you bring what's got to be brought.

maintaining a safe environment for our loved ones is one of our most common duties. if you aren't prepared to protect the people you love you should be a hermit. (and by "you" i mean guys in general, not you, Afoci).

[The Afoci]

HA, I agree wholeheartedly. I have thought of paintballing his camero, his house, getting him fired (I know the owner of his work very well, I actually coached the owners son in travelling team basketball 3 years). The one thing I do have going for me is that the guy is scared of me. He said so in the letters and in the few encounters we had when I was a parts runner in college(how I met my girlfriend), he was always very timid of me.

[sabotai]

"And finally my girlfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me. She can’t understand why I am under so much stress."

WTF! Damn...

It may not seem like it now, but I'm going to put this under the good news column. If she broke up with you because she doesn't know why you are stressed out over ALL of that crap, who knows what trouble you would be in if it went any longer. Damn, what a bitch.

[Anthony]

"I have thought of paintballing his camero, his house, getting him fired"

there ya go. you understand.

normally i don't like to give advice such as i given you. you'd like to think that we can all be civilized humans and reason with one another. unfortunately that's not always possible. whatever i've told you is only what i would do if i were put in a similar situation. what works for you may be different. but you seem to understand what i was getting at.

no one on the street has to know where those paintballs came from. certainly not the cops. but those for whome the message was intended would certainly know. that's all.

but if you ask me, i agree with everyone else and you shouldn't involve his daughter. she shouldn't be harassed cuz her dad can't co-exist normally in society. if authorities catch wind of you involving his daughter you lose all credibility. good luck bro.

[The Afoci]

I have no intentions of doing anything to harm his daughter in anyway. I actually do not wish to involve her in this in any way. My only intention is to lead on to him that I am willing to involve a her in this if he so chooses to continue screwing with me and my girlfriend.

Just wanted to make that clear. I do have to sleep at night too ya know.

Just so everyone knows, stalkers suck. You pretty much can do nothing to stop those bastards from tormenting you besides tormenting back and hoping you are better. The legal routes for stalking are sorely missing. Sadly, I am fairly sure, with my luck, that if any legal action is taken, it will be against me. Hopefully a guilty plea to stealing lunchables won't hinder my chances of a light sentence in the future.

[mckerney]

In high school there were a few ways my friends would deal with problems they had with people. First one was a simple rolling of the person's house. While this is quite effective for the person who pissed you off in the school cafeteria or the teacher who made degrading comments, though for a case like this you'd have to take it to the extreeme, just TP'ing isn't enough. TP'ing and paintballing is a start. Another solution was kidnapping the person whom the problem is with. Probably too extreeme for this case because it really has to be a friendly kidnapping (non-friendly kidnappings can be felonies, who knew?).

So lets recap, rolling party not enough, kidnapping too much. Try to find something in the middle.

[The Afoci]

Well McKerney, I have finally found a situation in which Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws and dogs and peanut butter don't apply. That is except after the kidnapping of this bastard and torture that will ensue. Sadly, I am scared of blood and hate scary movies so I would have to rely on what my mind could come up with as torture. That could turn ugly.

Perhaps middle ground would be emailing him Shorty's pic and saying something to the effect of "If you don't want to see this biting your leg off at the knee, stay the hell away."

The Dude just wanted his rug back man. It really tied the room together. Ah drugs and alcohol make everything okay again.

[mckerney]

I love that movie .


Though if you are looking for something to do from movies, have you ever seen Reservoir Dogs? Plus, I'd even be willing to help you out if you still need to buy the Steelers Wheel CD.

[The Afoci]

I love Reservoir Dogs. Sadly, again, my hatred of blood and gore prevent me from being a proper torturer.

[Fritz]

Wafflehouse makes everything better

[mckerney]

Or the In and Out Burger. But no, only out west. And Hardee's changed their menu, so there's no more Monster Burger. At least Wendy's still has my beloved doublestacks...

[vex]

Originally posted by The Afoci


Perhaps middle ground would be emailing him Shorty's pic and saying something to the effect of "If you don't want to see this biting your leg off at the knee, stay the hell away."

Now there's The Afoci we all know!

[sabotai]

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

Everytime I hear that song...

[mckerney]

Well, you started out with nothing,
And you’re proud that you’re a self-made man.
And your friends they all come crawlin’,
Slap you on the back and say, “Please, please.”


You want to do that little dance Michael Madsen does, or you're reminded of....

Torture you, yeah, I like that idea...

[The Afoci]

My Girlfriends Dad has said that he is going to break the guys legs after he heard what was on the latest letter.

[Deattribution]

Assuming the letters are explicit/harmful...

You can always threaten to or actually call social services on him for his child being in an unsafe living enviroment. If you tell them, they'll *probably* atleast investigate and pay him a visit which he would mostly see you're serious.

Just tell them you're afraid that if he's willing to threaten or hurt your girlfriend that he doesn't know (how I understood it).You do not feel comfortable with him being around a little girl, and would appreciate they look into the situation. It definitely makes you wonder about his mental health, so its not really taking a shot him for the sake of it.

Although the email you sent might hinder you in this.. those type of things are bad ideas all around.

But, you can show them the letter(s) he's written to your girlfriend an explain the problem he has.

If he's not completely whacko, the threat of losing his daughter should cool him off your heels.

[Glengoyne]

While the police may not be able to do anything to him based on threats made to your girlfriend. I am pretty certain the police could do something about you threatening his daughter. From my perspective you escalated the problem in a very bad bad way. Threaten him, not his family.

That said. Do go to the police officially. Get the restraining order. Now while that doesn't technically make her any safer, you aren't doing anything illegal either. If you really don't want to do anything through channels deal with it yourself directly with him. Tell his wife, and if that doesn't stop him, get him to hit you first and beat the living bejesus out of him. Some states have "fighting words" laws that might mean you can beat the crap out of him even if he doesn't hit you first. He just has to provoke you.

I would think the police route is best, but you may have shot yourself in the foot with the threat to his daughter.