Had to put my dog to sleep last night

[Butter]

My 11 1/2 year old Rottweiler, Max, was put to sleep at 6:25 PM last night.

He had stopped eating and had pretty much lost use of his back legs. He was fine before Christmas. But around Christmas he stopped eating, and just went downhill really fast. He had a history of minor tumors, and had some breathing problems toward the end, but never seemed to be in too much discomfort, but had become unable to move himself around, and would barely eat for the past 2-3 weeks.

Admittedly, I'm not dealing with this very well. My wife, Andrea, was there and we were able to share the experience together... except it was the kind of experience you'd just as soon scrub from your brain with antiseptic and just remember the good.

The vet's office was awesome. Andrea called and explained the situation, and they are always busy but said to explain things to the front desk and they would bump us to the front of the line. Which they did.

So, Max is able to walk into the office, and stand on his own. With one seat available, Andrea takes it and....

Max had always been a very sweet, gentle dog. He had some unique quirks, though. Like sometimes he would lay on the floor and put his paws together and just scratch at the floor sideways. Like 15-20 times, he would just sort of scratch away with both paws simultaneously while laying on his side. And he didn't like affection. I think he never grew up with my parents showing affection. So, when he moved in with us, he wasn't used to all the hugging. Every time I would give Andrea a kiss for work, he would be there to try to break it up. Not aggressively, but he would bark, and come right over next to us to make sure no one was getting hurt. This was funny, but also funny was his inability to tolerate the kids' rough play. When my sons, Ethan and Alex would wrestle, who would be there but Max to break them up. So whenever we were out of the room, we knew when things were getting out of hand, because Officer Max was there to bark his early warning signal for us to come check on things.

And then, there was the time that my parents visited Andrea and I in South Carolina for Thanksgiving, 1999. It was our first grown-up, non-college-y looking place, on the 2nd floor of this non-descript apartment complex in Greenville. My parents brought Max with them, and we were happy to have him because he was never any trouble. Max was but a lad of 2 1/2 then, but was always well-behaved and well-trained. But he never liked when strangers approached the house. He would always bark warnings at them to stay away. Well, one day, Max saw some people somewhat far off out our balcony door. He would get all worked up and would just bark semi-regular barks every 20-30 seconds or so, and pace and be generally nervous. After about 5 minutes of that, my mom would tell him to stop. So he looks at her, but then in a fit of teenage doggy defiance, he continued to pace and bark. My mom kept telling him no, and Max gradually drew down his response. But never completely so. For a solid 20 minutes, Max's barks got quieter and quieter, but he kept doing them in defiance of my mother. The last few were not even so much barks as they were "Muffs". "Muff". "Muff". Like he wanted to bark but he knew it would get him in trouble but he had to do something. So he "muffed" quietly. He muffed for another 20 minutes in direct disregard to my mom. And he was a teenager. So we forever referred to this as Max's moody teenage period.

And he loved getting his back section scratched. When you sat down and he wanted to be petted, he did not lean his head on you. He leaned his butt on you. So you would scratch his back legs and his back half. Everything above his tail was fair game. And he loved it. He would stay there for hours if you let him. You knew he was in the mood for affection if he leaned his butt on you. And if you didn't oblige, he would stay there until you did SOMETHING. Even a small pat was often good enough.

---So, Max is able to walk into the office, and stand on his own. With one seat available, Andrea takes it and....

Max leans his butt onto Andrea. She starts crying and pets it a little. Then Max collapses onto the floor like it was all over. He never collapsed like that before. He didn't die or lose consciousness or anything then. But he flopped onto the floor like he was giving up. Andrea loses it, and a couple other patients' owners come over to console us. We get called back into the office after another minute. Like I said, they only made us wait maybe 3 minutes, but in that 3 minutes, the choice was pretty much made.

The doctor told us that they could run some tests, but that with his age the prognosis was not going to be good. He had fluid in his lungs and likely more tumors inside somewhere, but that even if they treated it, he'd have trouble being his old self again. Max had lost that twinkle in his eye, and would never get it back.

I pet Max and just stared at him directly in his eyes until he closed his eyes for good so he wouldn't be alone at the final moment. Then Andrea and I paid the bill and left. I have never cried so much in my life. Seriously. We go home, and the kids are just as upset as we are, which I guess is good in some ways but not really. The thing that really gets me is when Alex tells me he would give the whole house up just to have Max back. So would I, Alex. So would I.

I'm still near inconsolable today. I don't know why I'm at work, I'm not going to be any good for it today. After this I'll try to plug away and forget it as much as I can. But I won't be able to, not ever.

I guess the whole reason to relate the tale is that I always thought I wouldn't be that bad when Max went. I knew his time would come, but I always thought I would handle it with ease, and move on. But I can't. Dogs really can come an irreplaceable part of your family, despite what I always thought. And I would always kind of make fun of people who treated dogs like little people and would fawn over them at every opportunity. But it turns out, family is what you make it. And these little balls of fur and unconditional love just become part of you. And when you lose that, it is unbelievably sad. When you have to decide to end its suffering, it's just moreso.

So I apologize to everyone I ever made fun of, to everyone who didn't even know it, to those of whom I thought "get over it, it's just a dog". Max was just a dog to everyone else. But to me, he was family.

Goodbye Max. We'll always love you.

[Dr. Sak]

I am so sorry for your loss. If it is any consolation, just think about how lucky Max must feel to have a family like yours to live in where he was loved and had many great times.

[flere-imsaho]

I am deeply sorry for your loss. It sounds like Max had a good life. I hope the end is as peaceful for our 8-year-old Rott mix Bear.

Best wishes and RIP Max.

[Eaglesfan27]

My condolences for your loss. Ours pets are part of the family too, and I know it will be tough when they pass on.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Thanks for sharing this story. It's been years since I had dogs, but you've brought back a lot of memories for me. I'm very sorry that you lost Max. I'm pretty much damn near tears myself at work, just after reading about him.

I wish you and your family the best.

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

I couldn't finish your story, but wanted to offer my condolences. Think of all the joy you gave Max, and carry that with you.

[DaddyTorgo]

nooooooooooo!!!!

I'm sorry man

My condolences. I'm tearing up sitting here at work reading your recollections.

One thing I hope - I hope your boys got to say goodbye. My first dog was a golden that my parents bough when I was like 2 or 3 and I grew up with that dog and loved it more than anything. Never got to say goodbye though, as when I was in like 4th grade it had massive grand mal seizures in the middle of the night one night and my parents took her in and had her put down without waking me up to say goodbye. Honestly to this day (I'm 29) I still harbor some anger towards them and a great deal of sadness that I wasn't able to say goodbye.

[johnnyshaka]

Sorry to hear about your loss.

My uncle just told me last night that they had to put down their 15 year old golden retriever, Ranger, over the holidays. He was a great dog and the one story I remember about him is while camping my uncle had to head back to the trailer to grab something but my cousins (they were 10 and 8) didn't want to go so my uncle laid out a blanket and told the kids to stay on the blanket and then told Ranger to make sure they stayed put. One of my cousins stood up and Ranger started barking until he sat down again. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen.

[Lathum]

You've got me crying reading that and thinking about my own aging dog.

Sorry for your loss, any pet owner can understand how much it hurts to lose a family member.

[DaddyTorgo]

i just want to go home now and hold my dog and never let him go

[Honolulu_Blue]

Sorry for your loss. It really is one of the hardest things you have to do. 15 years ago now, I had to put my first dog to sleep and it was devastating. I got her when I was 5 years old and she lived for 15 years, so she was pretty much my best friend for my entire childhood.

As tough as it is, it is important to remember that you gave Max a great life. That you and your family did right by him and did everything you could for him. As hard as it was on you and your family, you made the right decision. Dog's very much live in the moment and once they start going like that life really isn't enjoyable for them anymore.

I am not sure what your situation is, but after we had to put my dog (Mindy) down, we waited about a month or so and then got another dog. While our new dog (Sergei, who's still around at my parents' house) never replaced my old dog, it really helped deal with the loss.

Hang in there, man.

[BrianD]

Your story made me cry as well.

Listening to your story, it is quite clear how much love you have for Max. If you are able to show that much love in your words, I'm sure the love was much more apparent in your interactions with Max. I'm sure it is small consolation now, but showing him as much love as he was showing you is a great gift. The pain of losing him will be strong, but at least you'll also have many pleasant memories of a great life.

[samifan24]

I'm so sorry to hear about Max. Pets are members of our families and they make us better for being in their company.

[PilotMan]

Wow, thanks for sharing. You certainly made me think about my two dogs at home.

I have a retired racing greyhound who will be 12 in May. We have had him for almost 10 years. And a Shepard mix who will be 12 in November, who I have had since she was 8 weeks old.

They are my fiends, my boys friends and guardians, they are our family.

Max was your family too, and it is right to miss him. Hang in there.

[NoSkillz]

Tears here too from a fellow dog owner.

The love you and your family had for Max is quite apparent.

Thanks for the beautiful post. You'll be glad you wrote it so you can look back in the future and remember all the great times you had with him.

Best wishes to you and your family during this difficult time.

[JediKooter]

I'm really sorry to hear about Max. My condolences to you and your family.

[CamEdwards]

Really sorry to hear about your loss. Max sounds like he was a very good dog indeed.

[Subby]

Hang in there, man.

[Hannibal Lecter]

Thats awful, I have 3 cats who im very attached to and one is getting old just reading stuff like this breaks my heart!

[Hannibal Lecter]

Thats awful, I have 3 cats who im very attached to and one is getting old just reading stuff like this breaks my heart!

[primelord]

I am very sorry for your loss.

We had to have our cat put down a few months ago. Actually it was my wife's cat. He annoyed the crap out of me. Tore things up and was just generally a pest. I would have sworn to you I didn't like that thing. It turns out I apparently did, because having him put down was a gut wrenching experience. I really didn't think I would have that kind of reaction to it.

I have no idea what I am going to do when the time comes for our two dogs.

[Kodos]

Add me to the folks who teared up reading your post. Losing a beloved pet is always tough. I cried and cried when my childhood cat died.

[path12]

Thanks for sharing that. I'll add my condolences for your loss, and will be giving my Norm an extra big hug this evening.

[Flasch186]

damn....

Not to replace him but that hole it creates in your stomach can only be filled by another dog IMO. It wont make it go away and the dog is never forgotten but, for me, it's always the new family remember that helps me get over the loss of the last. Im so so sorry for your loss and happy for you in the time you had with a great dog.

[kingnebwsu]

Yikes. Sorry to hear that man. Typing out the good times definitely helps...even if just a little. Take care

[RainMaker]

I lost my dog over a year ago and it still gets me from time to time. I know what you're going through. It's the worst feeling in the world. I wish there was something that could be said that would make that pain go away, but there isn't. It just takes time.

I'm sorry for your loss. He sounded like a great friend.

[JetsIn06]

I'm really, really sorry for your loss man.

[molson]

Sorry to hear that, but I'm glad he had such a great run with you. The happiness he gave you far outweighs the grief.

I hope when you're ready you make some other dog as lucky as Max was.

[Toddzilla]

Bo69, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Hang in there, my friend, and know that you were everything to Max, as much as he was to you, and that's what it's all about, right? Keep the good memories close...

[Butter]

Thanks everyone for your kind words and sincere rememberances of your own pets. Knowing we're not alone, and that maybe Max has a few more admirers than he did before is making it a little easier to cope with, through the tears.

We do have another dog, a nearly 3 year old mutt named Lily, that we will hopefully grow with for another 10 years or so. I don't know if I'll ever fully recover from this and be able to bring another dog into the family, though. It's been so much harder than I ever imagined. Maybe someday. A long time from now.

Thanks again, folks. I know I don't know many of you well at all since I'm not real active in the sim community, but your response has been sincere and much appreciated.

[bbor]

Remember the good times and don't let his passing keep you from getting another dog.I hear too many dog owners say they will never get another dog after they lose one....don;t let this happen to you...remember the good times!

I had a dog pass on me 2 or 3 years ago...and someone here posted a nice poem?Short story?...something like that, involving a rainbow and a bridge?...does that ring a bell with anyone?...i would love to have that poem/story if anyone has a link to it.

[SackAttack]

Originally Posted by bbor

Remember the good times and don't let his passing keep you from getting another dog.I hear too many dog owners say they will never get another dog after they lose one....don;t let this happen to you...remember the good times!

I had a dog pass on me 2 or 3 years ago...and someone here posted a nice poem?Short story?...something like that, involving a rainbow and a bridge?...does that ring a bell with anyone?...i would love to have that poem/story if anyone has a link to it.

"Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together...."

I'm guessing that's the one?

Bo69 - not a good day for old dogs named "Max." Your Rott's got a black lab for company. Really similar stories about the final days, too. RIP, both Maxes.

[bbor]

Thx Sack......Sorry for your loss also....Chin up guys.