07-05-2007, 02:49 PM | #1 | ||
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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This Guy Is the Biggest, Most Gullible Idiot In the World
'Outright lies' lead to request for a divorce
Michael P. is seeking to annul his Las Vegas marriage to his bride of five months. In his complaint, the Westboro man claims that his wife induced him into marriage "through a series of elaborately constructed gross misrepresentations and outright lies about her background, financial status, employment history, marital history, criminal background, family background and her very strong connections to the entertainment community in California." That doesn't even begin to cover the complaints of poor Mr. P., whose full name I'm withholding because the guy has been through enough. In a cautionary tale of the pitfalls of online dating, Mr. P. said he met Crystal P. through an Internet dating service last fall, when she told him that she had moved to Massachusetts from California to escape the "fast life," and that she was very "in" with the entertainment crowd. He says she told him on their first date that she was a registered nurse, had won a powerball lottery, was the niece of the guitarist for Motley Crue, had at one time posed for Playboy, and that her ex-husband was in prison for kidnapping her and locking her in a trunk. In later meetings, she claimed to have worked as a multilingual interpreter in Washington and as a negotiator for the Los Angeles Police Department, where she once saved a man who threatened to jump off a bridge, according to court papers. For some reason, the relationship progressed. One day over lunch, after Mr. P. revealed that his favorite band was "Rush," Crystal confided that the lead guitarist had been her best friend for 30 years. "Michael was initially skeptical of her claim but, as with most of the lies Crystal told, the conviction, emotion and the detail with which she expressed them made Michael believe her," according to the complaint filed by Mr. P.'s lawyer, Jonathan E. Fields of Wellesley. She also told him that she was once engaged to the son of Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys, who was also friendly with Alex Lifeson, lead singer of Rush, and that the three had been inseparable until a tragic bungee jumping accident in California killed her fiance. "Shortly thereafter, Crystal confided in Michael a huge secret," according to the complaint. "She claimed to be the illegitimate child of John Lennon and Janis Joplin." Oh, yeah, and Steve Tyler from Aerosmith was her godfather. At some point, she claimed that a man she was instant messaging was Mr. Lifeson, and she pretended to hook him up with Mr. P. on the Internet, according to papers. Mr. P. also "spoke" to actresses Liv Tyler, Diane Lane and other celebrities. On Feb. 12 of this year, one day before they got married, Mr. P. received an e-mail from "Alex" that indicated Crystal was financially well-off and receiving large checks from his band. "It has since become apparent to Michael that, contrary to her extravagant claims, Crystal's financial resources are as limited as her alleged contacts in the entertainment industry," says the complaint, which also claims that she concealed a criminal record and had scammed a former boyfriend. Their marriage has since faltered, and Crystal is now falsely claiming she is pregnant, according to the complaint. "More recently, the claim has escalated - Crystal now says she is pregnant with triplets," says the complaint. "In fact, according to information received from University of Massachusetts Medical Center in Worcester, she is not pregnant." Crystal now reportedly lives in Ashland, but could not be reached. The complaint alleges that she exploited Mr. P.'s good nature and "perhaps his gullibility" for financial gain, and that the marriage is void "by reason of her insanity." hxxp://www.telegram.com/article/20070701/COLUMN01/70701002/1010/NEWS02
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M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." |
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07-05-2007, 02:51 PM | #2 |
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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Biggest outright lie in that article...Alex Lifeson is the lead singer of Rush.
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M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." |
07-05-2007, 02:57 PM | #3 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Dayton, OH
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Quote:
Actually, that was the one that stood out to me the most as well.
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My listening habits |
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07-05-2007, 03:01 PM | #4 |
FOFC Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Wentzville, MO
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I thought for a moment that this had something to do with Hell Atlantic.
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Cheer for a walk on quarterback! Ardent leads the Vols in the dynasty forum. |
07-05-2007, 03:04 PM | #5 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Hometown of Canada
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That's funny.
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07-05-2007, 03:35 PM | #6 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2002
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Well if that counts, then so much for the institution of marriage.
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Down Goes Brown: Toronto Maple Leafs Humor and Analysis |
07-05-2007, 04:17 PM | #7 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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Pix Plz.
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I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
07-05-2007, 04:28 PM | #8 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
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Wow. Just wow.
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07-05-2007, 04:37 PM | #9 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Big Ten Country
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07-05-2007, 04:51 PM | #10 |
Bonafide Seminole Fan
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Miami
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This happens alot I imagine...
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Subby's favorite woman hater. |
07-05-2007, 05:16 PM | #11 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Wisconsin
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Is there a guy around that wouldn't follow up this statement 'I posed for Playboy' with one question.
'When?'
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You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its... |
07-05-2007, 07:27 PM | #12 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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Quote:
She would have had me at, "I won the powerball lottery."
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I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
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07-05-2007, 07:31 PM | #13 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Tulsa
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07-05-2007, 07:34 PM | #14 | |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Colorado
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Quote:
Up to that point, it was a bunch of typical pathological lying. Then it went off the deep end. |
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07-05-2007, 07:35 PM | #15 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Sep 2004
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I skimmed too quickly the first time I read the article and I thought it said she claimed to be the illegitimate child of John Lennon and Steve Tyler.
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2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) |
07-05-2007, 07:38 PM | #16 | |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Colorado
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Speaking of gullible and cluelessness
Quote:
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07-05-2007, 07:39 PM | #17 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Tulsa
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07-05-2007, 07:41 PM | #18 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Colorado
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07-05-2007, 08:26 PM | #19 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: The scorched Desert
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Yeah......that's it, that's the ticket!
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07-06-2007, 12:31 PM | #20 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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Too bad it didn't say she invented Post-It Notes.
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I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
07-06-2007, 12:34 PM | #21 | |
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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Quote:
You can tell the article author is completely clueless about rock music. First he calls Alex Lifeson the lead singer of Rush, then he refers to Tyler as "Steve."
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." |
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07-06-2007, 01:49 PM | #22 | |
assmaster
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Bloomington, IN
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Quote:
My favorite line in the whole article. |
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07-06-2007, 02:00 PM | #23 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Mass.
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This girl lives the next town over from me! I don't know any Crystal P.s though.
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07-08-2007, 09:48 PM | #24 | |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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That article was one of the most entertaining reads I've had in a long time.
Quote:
Awesome! SI
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Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" Last edited by sterlingice : 07-08-2007 at 09:48 PM. |
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07-08-2007, 09:55 PM | #25 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Also, the illegitimate kid of John Lennon and Steven Tyler might be the ugliest kid ever.
SI
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Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" |
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