My "friend" could use some advice - Page 2

Noble_Platypus · 05-15-2003, 04:49 PM

Agreed

HARRRRR!!!

sabotai · 05-15-2003, 08:10 PM

Geez, when will people learn? Long distance relationships DO NOT WORK! I don't care if it is just for the summer. They've been together for 3 months. Now they face at least 3 months in a long distance relationship. Her ex has not running competition. He gets to spend 24/7 doing his best to break her down, and your friend can't do a thing about it.

I agree with G-Dawg, she wants someone at home and someone at school. Kick her to the curb.

sabotai · 05-15-2003, 08:10 PM

dola,

going limp....

McSweeny · 05-15-2003, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sabotai
Geez, when will people learn? Long distance relationships DO NOT WORK! I don't care if it is just for the summer. They've been together for 3 months. Now they face at least 3 months in a long distance relationship. Her ex has not running competition. He gets to spend 24/7 doing his best to break her down, and your friend can't do a thing about it.

I agree with G-Dawg, she wants someone at home and someone at school. Kick her to the curb.

well i'll think i'll disagree with you here. My girlfriend lives up in Vermont and is going to be something like 3 and a half hours away for the summer. Granted her ex doesn't play into this at all, but i'm confident that this will work until she goes back to school in late august(she goes to school near me).

annnnyway

I do agree with everyone else. Cut this chick loose. If you can't trust her it won't work. Simple as that

BFleming · 05-15-2003, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sabotai
dola,

going limp....

HARRRRRRRR!!

The Afoci · 05-15-2003, 08:42 PM

I agree with see her once more, cornhole her, then break up with her, then next school year cornhole it again. Repeat every school year until she

a)wants to marry you. (Run)
b)wants to break up with you(Yippie)
c)has a weird thing resembling a child that came from her butt from the cornhole loving.

WussGawd · 05-15-2003, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Maple Leafs
Clearly, you have never been married.

I'm assuming this was a somewhat lame attempt at a joke.

To quote from the second paragraph:

"As somebody who used to be a magnet for girls like this before I got married back in the late 19th century..."

I've been married for 17 years now. I will stand by my contention in his case:

A guy who has broken up with a girl just three months before, and has confessed still having feelings for her, and then lies in bed with her...trust me, he boffed her. If not the first night, definitely the second (and I'd lay good money on the first, personally).

Frankly, this girl, if she was truly serious about MrBug (or his friend, whichever it is), would have never put herself in this situation if it hadn't been her intention to do a number on him.

MrBug708 · 05-16-2003, 12:39 AM

It isn't me guys, really. My friend does thank you for all the advice

cuervo72 · 05-16-2003, 07:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by WussGawd

Frankly, this girl, if she was truly serious about MrBug (or his friend, whichever it is), would have never put herself in this situation if it hadn't been her intention to do a number one on him.

For whatever reason, this is how I first processed this paragraph.....

Maple Leafs · 05-16-2003, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Celeval
I've got to mention that I had a number of platonic female friends in college; more than one of which I spent the night sharing a couch or a bed with nothing more physical than a hug.

So what have we learned here? If you try to have platonic friends, you'll wind up blood pressure so screwed up that Peter Jennings ends up interviewing you on the national news.

WussGawd · 05-16-2003, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by cuervo72
For whatever reason, this is how I first processed this paragraph.....

Well that's probably not far from the truth either, eh?

HARRRRRR!!!!!!!

WussGawd · 05-16-2003, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Maple Leafs
So what have we learned here? If you try to have platonic friends, you'll wind up blood pressure so screwed up that Peter Jennings ends up interviewing you on the national news.

Yep, this is my thought as well. Glad I was never like that, but maybe that's just me.

Don't get me wrong, I have a few female coworkers that are nothing but friends, but trust me, if I weren't married, there's a couple of them I'd want to shag in a heartbeat.

MrBug708 · 05-16-2003, 02:49 PM

Well, talked to my friend and such. He read a lot of the posts and thoughts and is giving her a week to show that he should even bother with her. He told her he doesn't trust her so it's up for her to really prove to him she loves him

She told him she's been hanging out with the other guy to see if she really loves my friend

Samdari · 05-16-2003, 02:52 PM

Is it really someone else you are talking about? Well, you fooled us all by putting friends in "quotes" in the subject.

Franklinnoble · 05-16-2003, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MrBug708
Well, talked to my friend and such. He read a lot of the posts and thoughts and is giving her a week to show that he should even bother with her. He told her he doesn't trust her so it's up for her to really prove to him she loves him

She told him she's been hanging out with the other guy to see if she really loves my friend

It is now safe to say that your friend is a pathetically pussy-whipped douchebag. Was he a virgin before he banged this chick? She's going to f*ck him over. Repeatedly. End of story.

MrBug708 · 05-16-2003, 02:55 PM

That was the idea Samdari. But it is a friend, not me. Hell, I don't even have a girlfriend. Its Easy Mac's kleenex for me

sabotai · 05-16-2003, 03:01 PM

"well i'll think i'll disagree with you here. My girlfriend lives up in Vermont and is going to be something like 3 and a half hours away for the summer. Granted her ex doesn't play into this at all, but i'm confident that this will work until she goes back to school in late august(she goes to school near me)."

Well, "long distance" is a relative term. I'm not sure I'd say 3 and 1/2 hours away is much of a long distance. At least not for me. But 8 hours to me is. Basically, once or twice a month I wouldn't mind driving 3 and 1/2 hours to hang with my girlfriend (if I had one). But 8 hours....no way.

Also, how long have you been together? A relationship that has last for awhile will survive a temporary long distance relationship than one that started just a few months ago.

And one more thing...

"She told him she's been hanging out with the other guy to see if she really loves my friend"

BULL----SHIT!!! I admit that I do not know your friend that the status of his 3 month relationship, but if people are doing their love tests after just 3 months, it sound more like they are looking for reasons to get out than test their love.

Maybe after a year or two you spend a little time apart to make sure you really love the person you're with. But 3 months? I don't care how serious they think their relationship is, 3 months is way too short of a time to do your love tests.

klayman · 05-16-2003, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MrBug708

She told him she's been hanging out with the other guy to see if she really loves my friend

Wow...my girl bullshit detector just broke it was ringing so loud.

JeeberD · 05-16-2003, 03:05 PM

C-lut!

Frozenrope · 05-16-2003, 03:45 PM

Man....all these games and tests and "prove that you love me" and wait and see and.....who the hell needs that? Especially one you can't bang on a regular basis because of the logistical difficulties.

Start fresh...say to yourself, "It's Over." Take a deep breath, then pick up the phone and dial the girl you work right next to that you've been dying to call. She really wants you to.

Ksyrup · 05-16-2003, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sabotai
Well, "long distance" is a relative term. I'm not sure I'd say 3 and 1/2 hours away is much of a long distance. At least not for me. But 8 hours to me is. Basically, once or twice a month I wouldn't mind driving 3 and 1/2 hours to hang with my girlfriend (if I had one). But 8 hours....no way.

Also, how long have you been together? A relationship that has last for awhile will survive a temporary long distance relationship than one that started just a few months ago.

My wife and I dated for 6 years in a long-distance relationship and it worked out well. The only time I saw her for more than a weekend was during the summer and December break between semesters. The first 2 years, we were 4 hours apart, the next 4, we were 7-8 hours apart. It can work. But neither of us were particularly adventurous with others of the opposite sex during our relationship, so we were probably more committed to it than your typical 20-25 year olds are.

tucker342 · 05-16-2003, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dawgfan
My advice? If I were your friend, I'd tell the girlfriend in no uncertain terms that she and her ex sleeping together, sex or no sex, is unacceptable. If she can't make a commitment to stay away from that kind of temptation then he should walk away. I wouldn't be an ass about it, but I would make it clear that it will ruin the relationship if she does it again.

I don't think he can tell her not to see the ex - telling your significant others who they can and can't socialize with is asking for trouble - but requesting that she not sleep next to the guy, especially given that he's trying to get back with her is a no-brainer.

If he's really into her, then he shouldn't overreact and leave her without giving her the ultimatum. I can vouch first-hand the temptations that come with ex's.

If she agrees to that without question, then he should continue seeing her, but be alert for any further transgressions. Yeah, he may get burned, but it also may work out. She may be working the ex as a bit of power leverage in the relationship with your friend, but if she really is invested in the relationship with your friend she won't want to risk it by screwing around with the ex.

If she's hesitant to agree in any way, he should take that as a sign and walk away. Again, I wouldn't be an ass about it - it may take breaking off with her to force her to really decide which relationship is more important. The old adage about if you love someone, set them free carries weight here. It may be that she needs to face the reality that she could lose the relationship with your friend to really decide where her priorities are. It could be that if he does walk away, she'll beg his forgiveness and agree to his demands, in which case everything should be hunky dory. If he walks away and she doesn't beg for him back, then the relationship was doomed anyway.

Perfect advice dawgfan

sabotai · 05-16-2003, 10:47 PM

"My wife and I dated for 6 years in a long-distance relationship and it worked out well. The only time I saw her for more than a weekend was during the summer and December break between semesters. The first 2 years, we were 4 hours apart, the next 4, we were 7-8 hours apart. It can work. But neither of us were particularly adventurous with others of the opposite sex during our relationship, so we were probably more committed to it than your typical 20-25 year olds are."

Oh course there are exceptions to every rule. I find that in general, your typical 20-25 year old is too immature or unprepared to handle the stress and work (most namely, the trust factor) that goes into a long distance relationship...

AgPete · 05-16-2003, 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MrBug708
Here's the deal. My friend was wondering what he should do so I thought I'd pose the question to the board. He has been with his girlfriend for 3 months. It's rather serious for 3 months and they talk about the future often. Well, school is done for the semester and they live 8 hours away from each other. It seems her best friend back home is an ex boyfriend of her's and they spend a lot of time together. Seems like its 24/7. Well, last week, she confessed to him that they fell asleep together in the same bed. Nothing happens is what she claims and he does believe her. She said she wouldn't do it again. Well, he found out she did it 3 days ago in back to back nights. She didn't come clean about it at first but finally she did and he was pissed that she lied to him. He also found out that her best friend, the guy, confessed that he was still in love with her and it seems she told him that she'd give him another chance if she ever breaks up with my friend. They broke up originally because he was cheating on her. Well, my friend's girlfriend says she loves my friend and all, but he doesn't know what to do.

Any advice? Its only 3 months, but pretty serious. Should he put up with it? Or just cut her loose?

Sorry bro but she's probably already sleeping with him. End it now before you get hurt any worse. It sucks, I know, but she needs to grow up and stop playing games. Find a better girl...or better yet... a better woman. Chicks like that will play games until they're blue in the face.

Maple Leafs · 05-28-2003, 04:17 PM

Did anyone notice that the "other guy" apparently wrote to Anne Landers today?

Quote:

DEAR ANNIE: I am still in love with my ex-girlfriend, "Alice,' and she states that she is still in love with me. We spend a lot of time together talking, and I am hoping to re-establish our relationship. She claims to want the same thing.

The only problem is, I've turned into her crying wall. Why? Because she is dating another man right now who makes her unhappy. Even though she complains about him constantly, she always returns to him. Alice tells me that 98 percent of her heart wants to be with me, but the other 2 percent wants to be with him.

This is particularly funny when she chooses to spend the night in my bed instead of his. Why is she like this, and what is she trying to pull?

-- La Crosse, Wis.

DEAR LA CROSSE: She's trying to pull your chain, honey, to see how far she can drag you down. Regardless of what Alice tells you about percentages, she wants to be with her boyfriend. If you are looking for a serious relationship, look elsewhere. Alice is stringing you along.

tucker342 · 05-28-2003, 05:46 PM

hmmm interesting...

strait8 · 05-28-2003, 07:18 PM

I have learned that a woman always wants you more when you are moving away from her not hanging on to her.

IF YOU RELLY WANT HER BACK OR EVEN IF YOU DONT DO THIIS

Just say I need some space to sort out the situation. Immediately start to date other girls and do not pine over this one. As soon as you get serious over another girl this bitch will be back. She wants to be with the other guy because he cheated on her and treats her like shit. I guarantee you she F***ed this guy when she slept in his bed. There were no couches in his pad? C'mon

You want her, dump her, date others and she will be back.

This is the classic low self esteem girl. She needs to know that you can get better so she will compete.

Personally I would date others wait till she comes crawling back then F*** her and dump her again. She would like you even better.

This worked for me on more than one occasion.

One word of caution when she comes back and you sleep together wear two raincoats, if she really wants you she'll try to get pregnant.

Noble_Platypus · 05-28-2003, 07:25 PM

Good advice Strait

Samdari · 05-28-2003, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MrBug708
That was the idea Samdari. But it is a friend, not me. Hell, I don't even have a girlfriend. Its Easy Mac's kleenex for me

Trust me, this is cheaper than marriage.

BFleming · 05-29-2003, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MrBug708
That was the idea Samdari. But it is a friend, not me. Hell, I don't even have a girlfriend. Its Easy Mac's kleenex for me

Just please use your own kleenex, not Easy Mac's. That would just be disgusting

Canadian Football Guy · 05-29-2003, 09:39 AM

Get out. If she is lying about this stuff after three months there is no reason to believe that it will get any better let alone stop all together. He should go find someone he can trust.

05-15-2003, 08:42 PM	#56
The Afoci Pro Rookie Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Moorhead	I agree with see her once more, cornhole her, then break up with her, then next school year cornhole it again. Repeat every school year until she a)wants to marry you. (Run) b)wants to break up with you(Yippie) c)has a weird thing resembling a child that came from her butt from the cornhole loving. __________________ I had something.

05-16-2003, 02:52 PM	#64
Samdari Roster Filler Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Cicero	Is it really someone else you are talking about? Well, you fooled us all by putting friends in "quotes" in the subject. __________________ http://www.nateandellie.net Now featuring twice the babies for the same low price!

05-16-2003, 03:05 PM	#69
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	C-lut! __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

05-16-2003, 03:45 PM	#70
Frozenrope Mascot Join Date: Feb 2003	Man....all these games and tests and "prove that you love me" and wait and see and.....who the hell needs that? Especially one you can't bang on a regular basis because of the logistical difficulties. Start fresh...say to yourself, "It's Over." Take a deep breath, then pick up the phone and dial the girl you work right next to that you've been dying to call. She really wants you to. __________________ It's not my show, but I'm on that show - Dick Juaron

05-28-2003, 07:25 PM	#78
Noble_Platypus College Prospect Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: York, Pa	Good advice Strait __________________ We had the $240, we had to have the puddin'

05-15-2003, 08:10 PM	#52
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	Geez, when will people learn? Long distance relationships DO NOT WORK! I don't care if it is just for the summer. They've been together for 3 months. Now they face at least 3 months in a long distance relationship. Her ex has not running competition. He gets to spend 24/7 doing his best to break her down, and your friend can't do a thing about it. I agree with G-Dawg, she wants someone at home and someone at school. Kick her to the curb.

05-16-2003, 12:39 AM	#58
MrBug708 Head Coach Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Whittier	It isn't me guys, really. My friend does thank you for all the advice

05-16-2003, 02:49 PM	#63
MrBug708 Head Coach Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Whittier	Well, talked to my friend and such. He read a lot of the posts and thoughts and is giving her a week to show that he should even bother with her. He told her he doesn't trust her so it's up for her to really prove to him she loves him She told him she's been hanging out with the other guy to see if she really loves my friend

05-16-2003, 02:55 PM	#66
MrBug708 Head Coach Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Whittier	That was the idea Samdari. But it is a friend, not me. Hell, I don't even have a girlfriend. Its Easy Mac's kleenex for me

05-16-2003, 03:01 PM	#67
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	"well i'll think i'll disagree with you here. My girlfriend lives up in Vermont and is going to be something like 3 and a half hours away for the summer. Granted her ex doesn't play into this at all, but i'm confident that this will work until she goes back to school in late august(she goes to school near me)." Well, "long distance" is a relative term. I'm not sure I'd say 3 and 1/2 hours away is much of a long distance. At least not for me. But 8 hours to me is. Basically, once or twice a month I wouldn't mind driving 3 and 1/2 hours to hang with my girlfriend (if I had one). But 8 hours....no way. Also, how long have you been together? A relationship that has last for awhile will survive a temporary long distance relationship than one that started just a few months ago. And one more thing... "She told him she's been hanging out with the other guy to see if she really loves my friend" BULL----SHIT!!! I admit that I do not know your friend that the status of his 3 month relationship, but if people are doing their love tests after just 3 months, it sound more like they are looking for reasons to get out than test their love. Maybe after a year or two you spend a little time apart to make sure you really love the person you're with. But 3 months? I don't care how serious they think their relationship is, 3 months is way too short of a time to do your love tests.

05-16-2003, 10:47 PM	#73
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	"My wife and I dated for 6 years in a long-distance relationship and it worked out well. The only time I saw her for more than a weekend was during the summer and December break between semesters. The first 2 years, we were 4 hours apart, the next 4, we were 7-8 hours apart. It can work. But neither of us were particularly adventurous with others of the opposite sex during our relationship, so we were probably more committed to it than your typical 20-25 year olds are." Oh course there are exceptions to every rule. I find that in general, your typical 20-25 year old is too immature or unprepared to handle the stress and work (most namely, the trust factor) that goes into a long distance relationship...

05-28-2003, 05:46 PM	#76
tucker342 Pro Starter Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Iowa City, IA	hmmm interesting...

05-28-2003, 07:18 PM	#77
strait8 H.S. Freshman Team Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Vancouver BC	I have learned that a woman always wants you more when you are moving away from her not hanging on to her. IF YOU RELLY WANT HER BACK OR EVEN IF YOU DONT DO THIIS Just say I need some space to sort out the situation. Immediately start to date other girls and do not pine over this one. As soon as you get serious over another girl this bitch will be back. She wants to be with the other guy because he cheated on her and treats her like shit. I guarantee you she F*ed this guy when she slept in his bed. There were no couches in his pad? C'mon You want her, dump her, date others and she will be back. This is the classic low self esteem girl. She needs to know that you can get better so she will compete. Personally I would date others wait till she comes crawling back then F* her and dump her again. She would like you even better. This worked for me on more than one occasion. One word of caution when she comes back and you sleep together wear two raincoats, if she really wants you she'll try to get pregnant.

05-29-2003, 09:39 AM	#81
Canadian Football Guy n00b Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada	Get out. If she is lying about this stuff after three months there is no reason to believe that it will get any better let alone stop all together. He should go find someone he can trust. __________________ CFL.....Our balls are bigger!!

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