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07-07-2006, 01:02 PM
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#1 | ||
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The State of Insanity
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(Stupid Lawsuit) Man sues Michael Jordan for resembling him
http://www.kgw.com/news-local/storie....314c6e50.html
Local man sues Jordan, Nike for resemblance 06:01 PM PDT on Thursday, July 6, 2006 By PAT DOORIS for kgw.com A Northeast Portland man is suing basketball superstar Michael Jordan and Nike founder Phil Knight for a combined $832 million. Allen Heckard filed the suit himself, June 29th in Washington County Court. Heckard says he’s been mistaken as Michael Jordan nearly every day over the past 15 years and he’s tired of it. “I'm constantly being accused of looking like Michael and it makes it very uncomfortable for me,” said Heckard. Heckard is suing Jordan for defamation and permanent injury and emotional pain and suffering. He’s suing Knight for defamation and permanent injury for promoting Jordan and making him one of the most recognized men in the world. Heckard stands just over six feet tall. He is not six foot six like the real Michael Jordan. But Heckard says many people seem to miss that. He does share a bit of resemblance to the real Michael Jordan. Heckard has a shaved head, an earring in his left ear, and is in good shape from working out, and yes, playing basketball. “Even when I go to the gym I'm being accused of playing ball like him (Jordan), said Heckard." Most people would consider that a high compliment. "Yes...don’t get me wrong it’s definitely a positive thing, because Michael, like I say is one of the best ball players that I've known to play the game. But then again, that's Michael and I'm me. So I want to be recognized as me just like Michael's being recognized as Michael." Dressed in blue Air Jordan tennis shoes, Heckard might seem to be actually trying to look like Jordan but Heckard doesn’t see it that way. "They're very comfortable shoes to play ball in,” said Heckard. “I play a lot of basketball and any other shoes I try to play in tend to hurt the bottom of my feet." “I got a right to buy Nike or Adidas or what ever, so I chose the Nike because its a good shoe for me to play ball in,” he said. Heckard agreed that not everyone thinks he’s a famous basketball player, but insisted a lot of people do mistake him for Jordan. "I figure if I'm out in public and around a lot of people at least three or four times out of a crowd ...and like I was at the Blues Festival and you could see people they was pointing at me," he said. Some might wonder how he decided to sue Knight and Jordan for $416-million each. "Well, you figure with my age and you multiply that times seven and ah, then I turn around and ah I figure that's what it all boils down to." The question remains – is the occasional confusion with an admired celebrity worth $800 million. “Well,” said Heckard, “You never can put a value on a person's life. You know you're taking my lifestyle away from me. So you know...we'll let the ball bounce like Michael does...where it’s supposed to fall."
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07-07-2006, 01:05 PM
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#2 | |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: The Internets
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Quote:
That fact reflects well upon the Portland legal community.
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I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man. - The Dude |
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07-07-2006, 01:07 PM
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#3 | |
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General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New Mexico
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Quote:
I was going to say, if he actually had representation, that lawyer should honestly be disbarred. |
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07-07-2006, 01:08 PM
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#4 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Conyers GA
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You know what I'd do if I looked like Michael Jordan?
Two chicks at the same time. |
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07-07-2006, 01:25 PM
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#5 |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Oct 2003
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As if the case itself isn't stupid enough, the guy doesn't even remotely resemble Jordan.
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07-07-2006, 01:29 PM
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Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
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Quote:
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07-07-2006, 01:29 PM
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#7 |
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lolzcat
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Herndon, VA
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I feel for him. I have the same problem.
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07-07-2006, 01:34 PM
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#8 |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Dec 2001
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You know Allen Heckard came down to the beach one time.....took him to the hole baby! Air Allen Heckard to the hole can u believe that.
That's right Billy ho I saw the whole damn thing! And he said yo! You should play Summer Pro League But I said No! Shit might mess up my game. Fuck up his game and we can't have it Billy Ho!
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"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales |
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07-07-2006, 01:36 PM
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#9 |
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General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New Mexico
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People always confuse me with Martin Short.
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07-07-2006, 01:38 PM
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#10 | |
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Strategy Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: North Carolina
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Jordan has really gotten away with this crap for far too long. It's about time someone did something about it.
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07-07-2006, 01:38 PM
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#11 |
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General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New Mexico
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dola
ESPECIALLY when I'm at the gym, balling. |
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07-07-2006, 01:56 PM
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#14 | |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
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Quote:
It gets really annoying for me when I'm accused of playing ball like Steve Nash. Just because I'm white, my hair is about the same length, and I refuse to play defense. |
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07-07-2006, 02:21 PM
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#15 |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Wisconsin
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To bad Chappelle wasn't around... could use this guy as Charlie Jordan...
__________________
You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its... |
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07-07-2006, 02:26 PM
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#16 | |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: TX
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Quote:
only 2? Magic Johnson look alikes get to do 8 at once |
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07-07-2006, 02:30 PM
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Hattrick Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Pintendre, Qc, Canada
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Quote:
that was my first thought too. I was thinking, man if that guy looks like Jordan, then our very own SkyDog should get a earring and file a suit too.  FM
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A Black Belt is a White Belt who refused to give up... follow my story: The real life story of a running frog... |
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07-07-2006, 02:31 PM
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#18 | |
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lolzcat
Join Date: May 2001
Location: williamsburg, va
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wow.
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Text Sports Network - Bringing you statistical information for several FOF MP leagues in one convenient site Quote:
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07-07-2006, 02:33 PM
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#19 |
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College Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Beantown
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This guy is the suck
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Boston Bashers - III.14 - (8347) |
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07-07-2006, 02:49 PM
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#20 |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Kansas City, MO
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You have to click the link to get the real humor of the story.
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07-07-2006, 02:55 PM
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#21 |
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Awaiting Further Instructions...
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Macungie, PA
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This article could be posted on the Onion and not need a single word changed.
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07-07-2006, 04:58 PM
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#22 |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Bethlehem, Pa
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this is possibly the stupidest thing i have ever seen...how fast to you think the judge can dismiss this?
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07-07-2006, 05:05 PM
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#23 |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Toledo - Spain
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The most stupid lawsuit i have ever heard about was from a guy in Spain a few years ago claiming that he compossed the song "Thriller" and M.Jackson stole it from him. You should have seen the guy in TV, the tipical small village guy who has never been out of it (do you can them rednecks?) playing something resembling to "Thriller" in a cheap plastic organ. At least he had his 10 minutes of TV glory.
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07-07-2006, 05:23 PM
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#24 | |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Bethlehem, Pa
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Quote:
OK, THIS is possibly the stupidest thing i have ever heard. any other contestants? |
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07-07-2006, 05:24 PM
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#25 |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Alabama
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I wonder if I could get him to go to a Bull's game and yell "BULLS SUCK"
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07-07-2006, 07:05 PM
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#26 |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Los Angeles, California
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Wow, I can't believe this. What an idiot.
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Myspace Profile |
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07-07-2006, 07:59 PM
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#27 | |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Conyers GA
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Quote:
Louis Gossett Junior is suing Michael Jordan?!?!?!?! |
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07-07-2006, 09:05 PM
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#28 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Apr 2005
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Looks like Motel a little bit.
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07-07-2006, 09:37 PM
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#29 |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: St. Louis
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If I were Jordan I would file a suit claiming that every time he visits Portland he can't get into any clubs or meet any women because he keeps getting mistaken for Allen Heckard. Plus I would put million dollar lawyers on the case to keep finding loopholes that fuck with this guys life.
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07-07-2006, 09:57 PM
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#30 | |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Kansas City, MO
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Quote:
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07-08-2006, 11:44 AM
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#31 | |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Fresno, CA
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Quote:
Great comment. |
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07-08-2006, 11:46 AM
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#32 | |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Fresno, CA
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Quote:
Exactly what I was thinking. Being mistaken for Lou Gossett Junior would be much more annoying, and a better cause of action to boot. |
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07-08-2006, 12:23 PM
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#33 | |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Georgia
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Quote:
Your mother's an astronaut.
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07-08-2006, 12:41 PM
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#34 |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Minneapolis
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I have a similar case pending against SkyDog
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07-09-2006, 03:47 PM
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#35 | |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Quote:
Maybe Allen Heckard could have a future career in suing Louis Gossett Jr SI
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Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" |
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