Thanksgiving week, a time to eat like a king, spend time with family, let everyone know what you're thankful for -- and a time where your precious sports games collect dust.

I remember when I was younger, Thanksgiving week meant three days with no school, and an endless amount of time to catch up on my fledgling video-game collection. It was a much simpler time back then. I had no responsibilities, and I sat at the kiddie table.

At the kiddie table, there was nothing better than talking with your cousins about how you were going to pull off a 1080 in Tony Hawk Pro Skater, all while devouring mashed potatoes drenched in heavy gravy. The older I got the more of a downer Thanksgiving started to become in the gaming department.

Now, I no longer sit at the kiddie table; I'm now forced to sit with the adults, discussing world politics, the economy, why the Lions are the worst team in sports history, and how my job is going. BORING. All I have been able to think of the past three or four years while gorging on turkey and stuffing is, "don't these people realize I have important video games to attend to during my precious days off?"

My lack of gaming on Thanksgiving is about to hit a crescendo today: It is my first Thanksgiving as a married man, and apparently there is nothing better for a family to discuss for eight hours than how the newlyweds are doing, blah blah blah.

How I long for the days of the kiddie table and endless hours of sports gaming in a dark basement, only emerging from my gaming dungeon to wish family members a safe trip home. The more I have thought about this the past few weeks, the more devious I have become in my plotting -- I am going to escape today during Thanksgiving, and I wanted to share some tips with everyone who is in the same boat as I am.

I just hope my wife does not read this.

Play the Technology Card

If there is one thing old people (especially old men) can not resist, it is the lure of new technology. I am not quite sure why this is the case, but introducing HD televisions and newfangled gaming systems to old people is like putting a ball of yarn in front of a kitten -- they cannot resist. This is a trick I have been utilizing for years now to get some holiday gaming in, so I figured I would share it with everyone (I know I am going to have to use this one in a big way today).

Make sure to call everyone who is interested into your gaming room to check out your "next-gen" gaming machine. Make sure you say "next-gen" too, because that definitely makes it sound like you have some type of Star Trek computer in your television room (old people love Star Trek). Once you have suckered the flock in, be sure to turn your system on, and give them the whole overview of different things your system can do.

This will work with both your PS3, 360 and Wii, just make sure to highlight the particular strengths of the console. With the PS3 it is always great to show them the Internet browser and the photo slide show capabilities. With the 360, make sure to show them the Avatar feature, the Marketplace, how you can download movies and play Uno. On the Wii all you really need to highlight is the fact that you have motion control, and the old people will be eating out of your hand.

Once you have lured them in with the technologies of each system, this is when you go in for the kill. By this time, most of the women will have left to go mingle, and all of the men will be ogling your system in a way that only technology can inflict on a man -- much like how fire entranced the caveman. It is at this opportune moment that you say, "you think the systems cool, you will be amazed at how real the graphics are in sports games."

You must choose wisely at this point, because just like the Holy Grail in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, the true game will bring you fun, but the wrong one will take fun from you. My point, other than I love 1980s movies, is that you have one shot at this, and the game you end up choosing could very well be the only game you can play all night.

Once you have popped the game into the system, make sure to run some instant replays, show off the graphics and generally pretend you are "showcasing" the game to your family. Ask others if they want to play against you (they will most likely differ), and voila, you have just gotten to play a few hours of your favorite sports game instead of listening to the latest family gossip.

Play the Reverse Technology Card

Here is a little trick that can be used if you are spending Thanksgiving at someone's home that has kids. Most likely the kids have some type of gaming system, so it is always useful to turn the tables on the "technology card" strategy above, and have you be the one acting like the clueless adult enamored with technology.

There is nothing better than asking your little cousin about his video games, causing him to get excited about showing his older cousin his gaming prowess, leading to you spending hours playing games with the little ones. The best part about this strategy is that you can pretty much play the entire day without interruptions -- no one is going to nag the guy that is spending quality time with the youth of the family. In fact, you are actually doing family community service by utilizing this strategy. You are the hero of the day.

Just make sure you let the kids win a few games. You will ruin this strategy if you completely dominate a 10-year-old boy at NBA Live.

Take Advantage of "Nap Time"

If there is one thing I have learned as I have gotten older, it is that for some reason, I have to take a nap after a big meal. Back in the glory days of being a kid, I remember eating like a horse, playing hours of backyard football, coming in and eating some more, and then playing video games until 11 p.m. (that was late for a 10-year-old kid!). Nowadays, I am lucky to even make it to the couch after a huge Thanksgiving feast, and my older relatives are even worse. If you are going to get some quality gaming in today, then you have to exploit this weakness of adults.

Your number one goal needs to be: watch how much you eat. This technique is a dangerous balance of feeding your hunger for delicious holiday vitals, and feeding your hunger for delicious holiday gaming. Just keep telling yourself the delicious gaming will outweigh the vitals, and you are in business.

Also, make sure you are carrying the conversation at the table because You will eat less and your incessant talking will cause your family to eat more. The more they eat, the more tired they will feel, and after the food is taken off the table, the family should fall into a Thanksgiving day food coma. It helps that Turkey contains tryptophan, a sleep-inducing chemical (thanks "Seinfeld").

Once the family members have retired to their respective couches, this is your time to slip away and get in a solid one or two hours of uninterrupted gaming bliss. Make sure you go get some leftovers to take with you into your gaming den -- I'm sure you will be famished from being so disciplined at the dinner table.

Nice work soldier, you will sleep like a baby AFTER your gaming session.

Set Up a Family Tournament

There should be a disclaimer for this tactic since it only seems to work well with the Wii. But who knows, perhaps someone can pull it off with a 360/PS3.

Nothing spells family fun more than a game tournament. You have to be crafty when utilizing this technique, making sure to find a sports title that is able to get the whole family interested. The sure-fire bet on this one is Wii Sports.

Utilize the first technique I mentioned in this article, and then set up a Wii bowling tournament. Not only will every age group at Thanksgiving dinner be having a great time, but you will be able to satisfy that urge to play some holiday Wii. Other Wii games that may work well for this strategy would be Wii Fit and Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games.

PS3/360 games that could possibly get the family involved would be Rock Band, Guitar Hero (not really sports games, but involve exercise), and perhaps some XBLA Track and Field.

Utilize these steps and you should be home free for some quality Thanksgiving day gaming. Sure, you may not feel good about yourself when you essentially trick your family into letting you game, but I bet you will feel pretty good about yourself when you win that elusive national championship game in NCAA Football that you have been meaning to play all week.

Feel free to share your tips on how you are going to elude the family and get some gaming in during this Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, have a great one!