I hate to admit to myself, much less anybody else, but I do believe I am old school. I am old school when it comes to the wonderful world of strategy guides.

Again, I hate to admit to myself much less anybody else, but I guess I am an old codger now who can spew frontier gibberish when my dander is aroused by these young whippersnappers today. In print, it would look something like, "Firkin frick frak young whippersnappers n riggamarole laziness usin sum rootin-tootin fancy book learnin to jebediah and howard johnson straight through cheatin n I oughta with a switch n take them frikin fudgmalickin babies cheatin playin a confalutin game." Well you get the picture. I feel rather strongly about how easy it is for most gamers today to pick up the strategy guide and read, step-by-step, how to play the game.

Maybe I should be encouraged that this newer generation of gamer would rather read a book than play a game -- or maybe not. Is it even acceptable that you can buy a book and read how to navigate every square inch of your game world? Before last week my emphatic answer would have been (expletive deleted) NO! Now, I am not so sure.

I cannot even blame the gamers of today that buy the books, not wholly anyway, because there is someone dangling a carrot in front of these poor lemmings and leading them off the cliff of critical thinking skills, which is what has always been a great strength of video games. The educators of the nation could always take solace in knowing that however much they deplored video game addiction and violence, at least games and their logic puzzles were secretly teaching critical thinking skills. Sure, it may have been like chocolate covered broccoli with its clever deception, but we all learned even while we were having fun and were completely oblivious of the cognitive growth.

So then, what is luring me to the dark side of strategy guides? The young apprentice publishers of course, apprentices to the almighty Emperor Dollar. After more than 20 years of gaming, I purchased my first ever strategy guide last week. In my defense, let me explain why I had no choice and why I think Emperor D was behind my trek to the dark side.

Head Coach 09 is a fantastically immersive title if you have ever dreamed of being an NFL head coach. I realize that is a small quantity, especially when compared to the button-mashing Madden nation, but we exist and for the most part we are slightly older than the Madden nation. By "fantastically immersive," what I really mean is that Head Coach is complicated and has a learning curve steeper than Angelina Jolie’s lips. That is not what led me to clothe myself in shame and purchase the strategy guide, however. So what was it?

It was the Force. I was made to buy the strategy guide. It seems that publishers like Electronic Arts have resorted to forcing their customers into buying strategy guides. No, I did not wake up with the head of a horse in my bed, but EA did make me an offer I could not refuse. EA has managed to make its sports games practically unplayable without purchasing a strategy guide. Let me rephrase that, not unplayable, but incoherent without purchasing the strategy guide. I wrestled with the decision for hours before buying the strategy guide. Was it cheating? Was I about to become a true adult and join the hypocrite club? To cheat, or not to cheat, that was the question.

I am sure that publishers will say this is a reflection of today’s green ecology; saving paper by reducing the instruction manuals. I support that notion, but then there is no reason not to have this kind of information included in the online or in-game glossaries that sports games now include.

"It’s in the game," but if you want to know what "it" means, you have to buy the book. In the late '90s and even the first few years of the millennium, EA instruction books that were included with the game used to be just that; books. Now, they are thinner than Kate Moss after a one-week cocaine and bulimic binge. This did not all happen at once. First, the books for Madden and NHL used to explain what the defensive strategies, offensive play types, and general strategies of the game all meant. They even listed the symbols and icons and what they represented, and in-depth descriptions of all the equipment and rules of the game. Slowly, over the last 10 years, EA has been taking inconspicuous sections out of the instruction manual until finally, when I purchased Head Coach 09 I found a six page sliver of an instruction book. Three of those six pages were the diagram of the controller, and oddly enough, an add for the Prima strategy guide.

Like I said, this did not happen over night, and it had not gone unnoticed by everyone. Personally, I have always let it pass, appeasing myself by saying, it is just more of a challenge having to develop your own strategies -- assuming you were playing the game because you had intimate knowledge of the real world sport. If not, well, mash the buttons.

I let it pass, until now. Now EA has crossed that thin line drawn in the sand, football field, ice rink, etc. EA gives you a game as complex as Head Coach 09 but it wants you to buy the EA licensed Prima guide, so it doesn't even include what the icons and symbols in the game represent.

Come on! That is basic game structure knowledge that MUST be explained in a key or legend. There is a blue water drop looking icon that appears on player portraits occasionally. What does it mean? Good question. For the answer you have to take your best guess. It is not in the instruction manual and believe it or not, it is not in the Prima guide either. In case you are wondering, it is a sweat drop and it indicates a fatigued player.

I am sure that publishers will say this is a reflection of today’s green ecology; saving paper by reducing the instruction manuals. I support that notion, but then there is no reason not to have this kind of information included in the online or in-game glossaries that sports games now include. Head Coach 09 has one, but of course, descriptions of the icons and categorizations based on player functions are also not in the glossary.

I will give EA the benefit of the doubt now that I vented, and say that this was an oversight and there is no diabolical ulterior motive to force gamers to spend an extra $20-$40 for every game purchased. I love Head Coach and I have been buying EA games for as long as the company has been making them. I mean that literally, since I owned an EA Winter Olympics game for the Macintosh 512K in 1984 (EA had to still be in diapers then). I will also continue to keep giving them my dollars and will have faith that instruction books will provide instruction and I will no longer be forced to clothe myself in shame and buy another strategy guide, ever. I just hope my faith is rewarded and this does not count as cheating.