NBA 2K Hairstyle Disasters - Operation Sports

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NBA 2K Hairstyle Disasters

Submitted on: 09/05/2012 by Steve McPherson

Players come at sports video games from a lot of different angles these days. You can run a fantasy draft and make the dream team you’ve always wanted. You can try to take your favorite team as-is and do your best to better them. You can play with friends or strangers around the world. But ever since I can remember, my favorite part of any title has been designing my own player to draft onto my favorite team or (more recently) run through a game’s career mode.

And since the beginning, the NBA 2K series has been disappointing me with its hairstyles.

Don’t get me wrong: NBA 2K has made great strides in the field of virtual follicles since the early days and 2K12 boasts 41 different hairstyles (plus players on PC have access to all kinds of mods). But at least seven of those 41 are literally described as “balding” or else appear to involve a receding hairline. I understand that LeBron James has made this look popular, but more than a sixth of the hair options devoted to it? Come on.

There are a handful of acceptable hairstyles. Any of the ones labeled Stubble (including, strangely, Dark Recessed Stubble, which actually looks like a normal hairline) are solid if unremarkable, as are Straight Short and Natural Part; the Mohawk isn’t half bad if you keep the length short; Wavy can be good if you keep the length long; and Short Dreads has been a standby since its rookie season in NBA 2K10.

But I’m not here to talk about the good. I’m here to count down the worst of the worst.

If you are a human being who wears this hair style, may God have mercy on your soul.

4. The Patch

How do we even begin to explain The Patch? NBA 2K seems to be fond of honing in on a few of the more unusual NBA hairstyles and providing them as options, which seems to be how we got Short Dreads (Chris Bosh circa 2007—he might also be responsible for Tied Dreads), Mohawk (Chris Andersen), and Mop Tail (Nene). But Drew Gooden sported this odd look during the 2006-07 season and it’s been haunting NBA 2K ever since. That’s five years since any reasonable human being has had this hairstyle and yet it’s still taking up a roster spot in NBA 2K12. It’s time to amnesty this hairstyle and put in something better. According to Gooden, he grew what he called the ducktail because he loves the ‘80s. And yet the term “ducktail” describes a ‘50s haircut that doesn’t resemble Gooden’s in any way. Maybe he was talking about the show “Duck Tales”?

...trying to figure out if it's man or woman.

3. Straight Tail
This hairstyle is even more inexplicable than The Patch because I don’t think it’s even based on an NBA player’s hair. It seems vaguely related to the sort of soccer-y tied back hairstyles of Sasha Vujacic and Mike Miller and yet somehow it’s inestimably worse. It’s the sensitive-ponytail-guy haircut. There are these strange panels of hair in the front that aren’t tied back but don’t move, and then the back is tied into the tiniest possible tail that only gets grosser when you increase the length. It’s that awful stage of hair between short and long where you can’t do anything with it. And NBA 2K has immortalized that awkward, awful moment.

Poor guy was a victim of a Rogaine experiment gone bad.

2. Natural Patches
I can understand the genesis of The Patch, because an NBA player actually had that style. I can understand (maybe) where the Straight Tail began: as an attempt at a longish, tied-back hairstyle. But I can’t for the life of me figure out what the minds at 2K Sports were thinking when they designed the Natural Patches hairstyle. I can only picture a guy in a brainstorming session saying, “What about one where there are just little bits of hair randomly placed on the head? You know, like an electrolysis accident or like he has mange? Oh and push the hairline up more. No: more.” It just doesn’t look like a hairstyle any reasonable human being would have on purpose. In closing, let me just note that Natural Patches is a brand of essential oil body patches. Maybe selecting this hairstyle should give a boost to your mental focus and energy?

We shall call it...the half mullet!

1. Medium Flat
Medium Flat is a tricky one. It has a boring name, it’s in the middle of a bunch of other hairstyles you probably just scroll through as quickly as possible (Balding Flat, Short Flat), but don’t sleep on its true awfulness. Like several of the NBA 2K hairstyles, it’s based on a famous haircut, but I’m pretty sure it’s Buffalo Bob’s from Silence of the Lambs. You’ve got a vaguely receding hairline but with the added bonus of wispy strings of yarn hanging over the forehead. That should be enough to put this cut into contention for the top spot but then if you increase the length the back turns into a mullet. A hint of balding with a mullet in the back and scraggly loose strands up front? Just tell me which basket to put the lotion in.

It's Time for Change America

2K Sports needs to clean house and put in some more player-inspired cuts that are more reasonable and/or fun. What about Brandon Jennings’ fauxhawk (which looks great in NBA 2K12 and worlds better than the Natural Fauxhawk)? And although the Mohwak as is can be a good option, we need a frohawk more like what Russell Westbrook and James Harden sported last season. T

he dreads department is also wanting, so why not base one off Kenneth Faried’s voluminous mane? And if those are too far out, one need only look at the player models of Kirk Hinrich and O.J. Mayo to see sensible, reasonable hairstyles that look natural and not like helmets (short Afro) or shards of glass (Messy). Maybe NBA2K13 will finally deliver on what this generation of consoles so long ago promised: the kind of great leap forward in virtual hair our fathers never could have dreamed of.

NBA 2K13 Videos

Member Comments

# 21 MR Anderson310 @ 09/05/12 01:59 PM

yeah i dont know how hard it is to get new hair styles in the game but they need them tho

# 22 scatman @ 09/05/12 02:00 PM

I would agree, this is an area where I would love to see 2K do a lot better. I honestly wish they could adopt The Shows facial morphing and hair styles. I use to have waves but cut my hair low for the summer. The waves that they have in the game is more like a 90's style of waves where its only the top of the head. Last I check, most waves do a 360 around someones head. Also, the facial options are terrible, almost like they have them in the game to create older guys. Thing is, most of those older guys (Walt Fraizer) are in the game now.

Please update the create a player options 2K. In fact, let me go write my own post on this subject....

# 23 Caveman24 @ 09/05/12 02:10 PM

maybe they should get a barber to emulate all the haircuts because to me all the MyPlayers look the same

Literally everyone MyPlayer i seen looks like that or a lighter or darker version the hairstyles are so bland and boring

# 24 Goffs @ 09/05/12 02:11 PM

Don't forget the badly drawn on mustaches and beards lol

I know this is about needing more hairstyles but I really like Saints Row the Thirds create a player system..

EDIT: that last embedded link from Marcus Garlick...goodness the created celebs are just awesome! Now I really do wish 2k had something that deep in CAPS

# 25 ojandpizza @ 09/05/12 02:29 PM

2K should consider adding a CAP system like the wrestling games, or saints row or tiger woods series.. You can make faces that look 100 times more realistic than anything I've ever saw from 2K..

# 26 Eman5805 @ 09/05/12 02:32 PM

Yeah. Drew Gooden wore that hair patch thing for ONE YEAR like 4 years ago. Been in the game ever since.

And let's not forget the facial hair. I'd love to give someone some of those bears but they look like someone scribbled it on their face with Sharpies. I'm glad that generated rookies wear random equpiment. Doesn't even matter that most of the stuff just looks silly on anyone but Kobe like the finger things. But at least it helps distinguish players some.

# 27 Jakeness23 @ 09/05/12 03:02 PM

Honestly, all of the art needs a serious update. I just hope they're looking at the "NBA 2K13 Let's Talk About Authenticity" thread. There's a lot of great ideas on there.

# 28 SHAKYR @ 09/05/12 03:07 PM

Natural Patches is a real hairstyle. It's looks like a S-curl. This is a style when your hair has a certain texture and a water and condition then you rub your hair back and forth creating tight little curls(peas)

I'm a huge customization and create a character guy so any additions they make to create a player is welcomed.

# 29 LoSoisNiCEx414 @ 09/05/12 03:08 PM

Brandon Jennings hasnt had the mo hawk since his rookie yr

# 30 LoSoisNiCEx414 @ 09/05/12 03:11 PM

Ability to choose any NBA players set of tattoos. What was the game called that let u choose any nba players tatts? That was awesome. Some people want their CAP tatts look real. Not A,B,C,D,etc tatts. Or some random tribal BS

# 31 bxphenom7 @ 09/05/12 03:34 PM

they need to deliver in graphics in general!

# 32 jersez @ 09/05/12 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nova91


	The game needs more legit black guy hairstyles.

Thank you, I don't see why it's so hard to put waves in.

# 33 charter04 @ 09/05/12 03:54 PM

Thank you for posting this. I needed a good laugh. I literally LOL'ed. Those are some really funny hairstyles. I always wonder what game makers are thinking when they include some of the worst hair ever in create a player or character modes. I always wonder if anyone ever picks styles like your number one. If they do think it looks good I would like to meet that person. Ha ha.

# 34 STONEDxxGAMER @ 09/05/12 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caveman24


	maybe they should get a barber to emulate all the haircuts because to me all the MyPlayers look the same Literally everyone MyPlayer i seen looks like that or a lighter or darker version the hairstyles are so bland and boring

Thank you!!!!!!! i literally made no telling how many players and no matter what i did they all seemed to look the same

# 35 DubTrey1 @ 09/05/12 04:37 PM

I have to say, 2k must have never seen a "fade" in their life. If they could just get a sensible looking fade in the game, it would resolve at least half of my issues with CAP. If you are brother, you either have to have a full caesar, bald or stubble. The other hair styles are pretty horrible and have been in the game since CHoops 2K8, as I say many of those from there in NBA2K9... and have not changed since. Facial hair is a whole 'nother mess in and of itself.

# 36 LionsFanNJ @ 09/05/12 04:51 PM

Honestly. I think this is something 2K will absolutely never change and we have to deal with the weak CAP options.

# 37 liodeesxalf @ 09/05/12 04:53 PM

2K's most underdeveloped feature in EVERYTHING to do with creating and customization, and is need of a complete overhaul. It's pretty bad and outdated..not just players, but also "create-a-team", which is actually more like, "assign-colors-and-a-name-to-a-premade-logo-and-uniform-that-no-one-would-ever-work". I don't even know why they even bothered to put such an underdeveloped feature in the game.

I really don't see why they can't just let us use the hairstyles and tattoos of all the player models already in the game. Face customization is terrible. all created players look the same, and when you get many seasons enough into an association, it just looks bad. no matter how much you try to make them look different, at best they look like semi-distant cousins.

They seriously need to look at what WINNING ELEVEN has done with customization and creation, which is arguably their BEST FEATURE, and it rivals some of the basic customization you see on PC NBA 2k mods. You can upload a portrait and lay it over a face template, and skew the portrait to have the features match up, and then continue to skew and customize the various facial and cranial features. you can also skew the proportion of limbs (KD's face in 2k is very life-like, but the body is definitely not his, torso should be shorter, and arms should be WAY longer).
Also, since winning eleven doesnt many the licenses to many of the teams, their team-customization and create-a-team is just as impressive. You can pretty much recreate the entire premier league accurately (usually they only have like 1-2 premier league teams licensed out of 20). you can upload png of logos to use as the team logo, and upload any kind of image you want to put on the uniforms. There are communities out their that share the files they've created and they are nearly perfect uniforms of their real-life counterparts. And this is all on console.

# 38 Geolink @ 09/05/12 04:53 PM

I will never know why the hairstyles and facial hair are all low-res.

# 39 NINJAK2 @ 09/05/12 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoSoisNiCEx414


	Ability to choose any NBA players set of tattoos. What was the game called that let u choose any nba players tatts? That was awesome. Some people want their CAP tatts look real. Not A,B,C,D,etc tatts. Or some random tribal BS

Great idea. You should also be able to choose hairstyle based on NBA players. On top of being able to select Waves you could select Dirk Nowitski, Brandon Knight, Lebron James, etc with the option to pick Hair color..