Front Office Football Central - View Single Post

albionmoonlight · 02-27-2006, 10:48 AM

Well, let's play detective. The game was ready to go before career play was added. So we can deduce as a matter of pure logic that the moving first down line is a function of career play. No other reason makes sense. So, what could that function of career play be? Well, we know that it can't be a bug because this game has undergone more beta testing than any game in the history of computers. So it must be a purposeful feature related to career play. Let us also deduce (I can't imagine that there would be much objection to this point) that none of the graphics in this game are eye candy. Everything must serve a purpose--nothing less would deserve to be called the Total Football Experience.

I draw, then, gentlemen, your attention to the beer tent. [/Gasps come from audience.] Yes, the beer tent. What does a beer tent serve? That's right--BEER. And not just any beer, but that really good, strong CANADIAN BEER. [/Knowing mumbling from the audience.] Beer that will get you intoxicated. Now, in most stadiums, the beer is sold, not on the field where none of the fans are allowed to go, but in the stands themselves.

This beer tent, however, as you can clearly see, is on the field! Who would put a beer tent on the freakin' field where no one can buy the beer? [/questioning mummers] I'll tell you who. It's the opposing coach! He's getting the guys holding the chains drunk during the games!

This is the answer that ties everything together. We all wondered what career play was since it did not contain a draft, recruiting, or financial system. We thought that it was just a joke. It is no joke, my friends; it is deadly serious. This game is part RPG. The career mode pits you against the machinations of insane coaches who will do anything to win--including using high alcohol content beer to their advantage. I submit to you that part of career play involves petitioning the league to not let the guys holding the chains go to the beer tent during the games. See, what we have been laughing off is actually just Matrix being deeper than you can even imagine. The Beer Tent is Relevant! Don't you get it?! Drunken chain gangs? Amazing. I'd like to see Madden do that.

_______________________________________

Seriously, though. At what point, if you are Matrix Games/Wintervalley, do you just say that you are taking the game off-line for 6 months, hire some real, committed beta-testers, and fix the bugs under the hood?

This game looks nowhere near ready to go. People keep finding critical mistakes in the screen shots and movies that are released to the public. There is a serious risk of trademark infringement suits if the game is released in this form. Etc., etc., etc. There will be a lot (more) egg on people's faces if this game is released in the next few days.

02-27-2006, 10:48 AM	#1551
albionmoonlight Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: North Carolina	Well, let's play detective. The game was ready to go before career play was added. So we can deduce as a matter of pure logic that the moving first down line is a function of career play. No other reason makes sense. So, what could that function of career play be? Well, we know that it can't be a bug because this game has undergone more beta testing than any game in the history of computers. So it must be a purposeful feature related to career play. Let us also deduce (I can't imagine that there would be much objection to this point) that none of the graphics in this game are eye candy. Everything must serve a purpose--nothing less would deserve to be called the Total Football Experience. I draw, then, gentlemen, your attention to the beer tent. [/Gasps come from audience.] Yes, the beer tent. What does a beer tent serve? That's right--BEER. And not just any beer, but that really good, strong CANADIAN BEER. [/Knowing mumbling from the audience.] Beer that will get you intoxicated. Now, in most stadiums, the beer is sold, not on the field where none of the fans are allowed to go, but in the stands themselves. This beer tent, however, as you can clearly see, is on the field! Who would put a beer tent on the freakin' field where no one can buy the beer? [/questioning mummers] I'll tell you who. It's the opposing coach! He's getting the guys holding the chains drunk during the games! This is the answer that ties everything together. We all wondered what career play was since it did not contain a draft, recruiting, or financial system. We thought that it was just a joke. It is no joke, my friends; it is deadly serious. This game is part RPG. The career mode pits you against the machinations of insane coaches who will do anything to win--including using high alcohol content beer to their advantage. I submit to you that part of career play involves petitioning the league to not let the guys holding the chains go to the beer tent during the games. See, what we have been laughing off is actually just Matrix being deeper than you can even imagine. The Beer Tent is Relevant! Don't you get it?! Drunken chain gangs? Amazing. I'd like to see Madden do that. _______________________________________ Seriously, though. At what point, if you are Matrix Games/Wintervalley, do you just say that you are taking the game off-line for 6 months, hire some real, committed beta-testers, and fix the bugs under the hood? This game looks nowhere near ready to go. People keep finding critical mistakes in the screen shots and movies that are released to the public. There is a serious risk of trademark infringement suits if the game is released in this form. Etc., etc., etc. There will be a lot (more) egg on people's faces if this game is released in the next few days.