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05-17-2009, 09:39 PM
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#1 | ||
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High School JV
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Northern California
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A moment at a structure fire that only folks at FOFC could appreciate....
I'm on duty right now and had a moment at a commercial structure fire today that I figured you guys could appreciate.
So about 9:30 am this morning we get a call to a structure fire in a downtown business. First engine gets there and it is a working fire with smoke and fire blowing out the front of the business. The building is basically a strip mall (all in a line down the street only separated by a wall per business) with a common attic (no fire stops in the attic so fire could potentially run the entire length of the building unimpeded). For the record, all the businesses involved are closed at the time of the fire. My engine arrives second due to the fire and are assigned by the incident commander to the business right next door to the business on fire (which is ripping at this point). Our assignment is primary search (for victims) and to look for fire extension into the business. At this time I should mention that the business we are assigned to is a combination "head" shop selling bongs and pipes for "exotic" tobacco -AND- an adult novelty/porn shop. Being as the business is closed, my rookie firefighter and I force entry into the business, head inside and go to work. Inside is charged with black smoke down to the floor and moderate heat, but no visible fire. We locate a stairway at the rear of the building leading up to the second floor. I go up the stairs and see that is a mezzanine (not sure if I spelled that right) with storage rooms off of it. I tell my Firefighter and Engineer to stay at the bottom of the stairs and I'll search the area by myself using our Thermal Imaging Camera because there is a ton of storage and crap all around and due to the smoke I can't see anything. I enter the room and immediately become tangled in something and fall on my face. I recover and look up and immediately come face to face with one of their products (still in box) on the floor. Lo and behold it is the "Mr. Dandy Penis Pump." So here I am, a seasoned experienced Fire Captain in full gear complete with my breathing apparatus lying on the floor staring at a penis pump. My only thought at this point is, "Hmmm...if I get tangled in something here and have to call for a mayday....how am I going to phrase this?" It is at that moment I, for whatever reason, thought about the boards here at FOFC. I thought I'd toss that question out there for suggestions for future use in my career. Thanks in advance. Cheers! |
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05-17-2009, 09:42 PM
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#2 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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As the son of a former firefighter and brother-in-law of a current firefighter ...
I LOL'ed
__________________
"I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis |
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05-17-2009, 09:50 PM
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#3 |
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College Starter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: san jose CA
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"Mr. Dandy Penis Pump" should be your permanent new title.
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05-17-2009, 09:53 PM
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#4 | |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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Quote:
Shouldn't that be "Captain Dandy Penis Pump" in his case?
__________________
"I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis |
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05-17-2009, 09:55 PM
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#5 |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Sterling Heights, Mi
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Quartermaster Clerk: One Swedish-made penis enlarger.
hawk4669: That's not mine. Quartermaster Clerk: One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger signed by hawk4669. hawk4669: I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine. Quartermaster Clerk: One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by hawk4669. hawk4669: I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby. Quartermaster Clerk: One book, "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by hawk4669. |
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05-17-2009, 09:55 PM
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#6 |
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High School JV
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Northern California
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Honestly, in 16 years in the fire service I've seen some weird/funny/strange stuff....and this ranks way up there.
Cheers! |
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05-17-2009, 09:56 PM
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#7 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Massachusetts
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LOL - awesome!
__________________
If I've ever helped you and you'd like to buy me a coffee, or just to say thanks, I have my Bitcoin and Ethereum addressed listed below :) BTC: bc1qykhsfyn9vw4ntqfgr0svj4n9tjdgufryh2pxn5 ETH: 0x2AcdC5cd88EA537063553F5b240073bE067BaCa9 |
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05-17-2009, 10:08 PM
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#8 | |
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High School JV
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Northern California
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Quote:
I showed my crew this one....they LOL'd.  Cheers! |
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05-17-2009, 10:10 PM
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#9 |
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General Manager
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Chicago, IL
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Were you able to save the porn?
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05-17-2009, 10:19 PM
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#10 |
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High School JV
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Northern California
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Sadly I think it was a total loss due to smoke and water damage.
At least I hope it was water....  Cheers! |
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05-18-2009, 01:17 AM
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#11 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: the yo'
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That's some funny shit. Good thing you didn't get stuck in a sex swing. Or have to break up a sub dom session
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05-18-2009, 02:59 AM
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#12 |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: San Jose, CA
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Pretty cool story. You should have a blog or a book deal or something. I think most firefighters and police officers should. They are interesting jobs.
__________________
Look into the mind of a crazy man (NSFW) http://www.whitepowerupdate.wordpress.com |
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05-18-2009, 03:07 AM
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#13 |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Edinburg,TX
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Can smoke actually damage a penis pump enough to make it unusable?
Great story.
__________________
You Stole Fizzy Lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and steralized, so you get NOTHING! You lose! |
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05-18-2009, 05:27 AM
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#14 |
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College Prospect
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: OH
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There has been breaking news in the cause of this fire. Sources say the store was out of KY, so the fire chief is speculating this could have been friction related.
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05-18-2009, 06:30 AM
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#15 |
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This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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Did you save the guy attached to the penis pump, or was he too smoke-damaged to bother with?
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." |
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05-18-2009, 07:36 AM
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#16 | |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: PDX
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Quote:
Ask.com was not able to handle this query quite as well as their advertisements had led me to believe. |
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05-18-2009, 08:18 AM
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#17 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Ok, that story made the morning
SI
__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" |
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05-18-2009, 08:29 AM
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#18 |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Colorado Springs
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Friend of mine is a firefighter/medic, and yes. You get some thoroughly amusing stories. I can't wait to pass this one onto him.
His crazy shit ALMOST tops the other friend of mine who was a former corrections officer at a maximum security prison in TN. |
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05-18-2009, 08:30 AM
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#19 | |
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College Prospect
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: High and outside
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Quote:
I'll let you know in 6 to 8 weeks. |
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05-18-2009, 09:08 AM
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#21 | |
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High School JV
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Northern California
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Quote:
Yikes. You mentioned that and all I could think about was the scene in Pulp Fiction where....uh...you know. I think I would have retired upon seeing that. Cheers! |
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05-18-2009, 09:13 AM
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#22 |
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High School JV
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Northern California
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Dola,
For the record, the store's official name... "Stuff n' Things." Akin to Stuffing things? I dunno. Description of the store per our morning paper: "Stuff n' Things a store specializing in collectibles, clothing and general merchandise." Yeah, general merch alright. Cheers! |
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05-18-2009, 10:38 AM
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#23 |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
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I have heard penis pumps can be dangerous. I would avoid them in the future. Let's just be glad you weren't holding the hose when you fell, as that could have been an ugly scene, and you know if the penis pump caused damage to the hose it would be unusable.
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05-18-2009, 12:23 PM
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#24 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: New Jersey
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This thread delivers.
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05-18-2009, 12:44 PM
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#25 |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Hometown of Canada
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Haha!
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