But It Worked For Larry David!

[Ksyrup]

Remember that CYE episode where Larry intentionally lies about being a racist in order to avoid jury duty? Well, this guy tried the same thing, except he wasn't as convincing.


BARNSTABLE, Massachusetts (AP) -- A Cape Cod man who claimed he was homophobic, racist and a habitual liar to avoid jury duty earned an angry rebuke from a judge on Monday, who referred the case to prosecutors for possible charges.

"In 32 years of service in courtrooms, as a prosecutor, as a defense attorney and now as a judge, I have quite frankly never confronted such a brazen situation of an individual attempting to avoid juror service," Barnstable Superior Court Judge Gary Nickerson told Daniel Ellis, according to a preliminary court transcript of the exchange.

Ellis, of Falmouth, had been called to court with about 60 other potential jurors for possible service on a 23-member grand jury.

On a questionnaire that all potential jurors fill out, Ellis wrote that he didn't like homosexuals and blacks. He then echoed those sentiments in an interview with Nickerson.

"You say on your form that you're not a fan of homosexuals," Nickerson said.

"That I'm a racist," Ellis interrupted.

"I'm frequently found to be a liar, too. I can't really help it," Ellis added.

"I'm sorry?" Nickerson said.

"I said I'm frequently found to be a liar," Ellis replied.

"So, are you lying to me now?" Nickerson asked.

"Well, I don't know. I might be," was the response.

Ellis then admitted he really didn't want to serve on a jury.

"I have the distinct impression that you're intentionally trying to avoid jury service," Nickerson said.

"That's true," Ellis answered.

Nickerson ordered Ellis taken into custody. He was released later Monday morning.

Ellis could face perjury and other charges.

[flere-imsaho]

In light of his idiocy, perhaps it's good he didn't serve on a jury.

[Ksyrup]

If he gets arrested for soliciting a prostitute, I wonder if he'll claim he only picked her up to use the diamond lane.

[stevew]

He should have just said he loves (insert racist word here) instead of saying he hates (slur).

[Fidatelo]

Can't he just claim he was lying about not wanting to be a juror, and that it proves that he is a liar? He could furthermore claim that his statements about being homophobic or racist were lies.

[Ksyrup]

Yeah ironically, he was too truthful to convince the judge he was a liar.

[Fonzie]

Originally Posted by Fidatelo

Can't he just claim he was lying about not wanting to be a juror, and that it proves that he is a liar? He could furthermore claim that his statements about being homophobic or racist were lies.

But doing so would mean he'd be telling the truth, which would contradict his claim to be a pathological liar.

[BrianD]

I've never understood why people are so hell-bent on getting out of jury duty. It isn't the most exciting job in the world, but it is a change of pace compared to the normal boring days in the office.

[Schmidty]

Originally Posted by BrianD

I've never understood why people are so hell-bent on getting out of jury duty. It isn't the most exciting job in the world, but it is a change of pace compared to the normal boring days in the office.

Some businesses don't pay their employees as much, or at all, and the government stipend is pathetic. That makes a huge impact on a lot of families.

Of course, I've never had jury duty, and my wife was recently called for it, and not chosen, so my information might be incorrect regarding the money situation.

[BrianD]

Originally Posted by Schmidty

Some businesses don't pay their employees as much, or at all, and the government stipend is pathetic. That makes a huge impact on a lot of families.

Of course, I've never had jury duty, and my wife was recently called for it, and not chosen, so my information might be incorrect regarding the money situation.

I thought companies had to make up the difference...but I could be wrong about that.

I got called for jury duty once and did whatever I could to be allowed to stay. It was a simple drunk driving, single car accident case which I found fairly interesting. Nice to see the process in action at least.

[panerd]

I never have understood how the system works either. I have a teacher friend who was called to jury duty during the first week of school. Who does this do a service to at all? Why not have occupations listed and call people during down times. I would be more than happy to serve during the summer, but royally pissed to get called the first week of school when I am trying to set a tone for the entire school year.

[ThunderingHERD]

Originally Posted by panerd

I never have understood how the system works either. I have a teacher friend who was called to jury duty during the first week of school. Who does this do a service to at all? Why not have occupations listed and call people during down times. I would be more than happy to serve during the summer, but royally pissed to get called the first week of school when I am trying to set a tone for the entire school year.

The idea is to have the potential jurors selected as randomly as possible.

[Fonzie]

Originally Posted by panerd

I never have understood how the system works either. I have a teacher friend who was called to jury duty during the first week of school. Who does this do a service to at all? Why not have occupations listed and call people during down times. I would be more than happy to serve during the summer, but royally pissed to get called the first week of school when I am trying to set a tone for the entire school year.

In my experience the jury pool managers do try to accommodate folks with these kinds of teaching obligations. They can't always excuse us outright, but I've had some put me down at the bottom of "the list" to reduce the likelihood of being selected (and the subsequent negative impact on students). In other cities I've had the jury folks postpone my jury summons until the summer, when I'm not teaching.

Frankly, I'd love to serve on a jury. I think it would be interesting, and I like the idea of doing my part to serve society.

[EagleFan]

Originally Posted by BrianD

I've never understood why people are so hell-bent on getting out of jury duty. It isn't the most exciting job in the world, but it is a change of pace compared to the normal boring days in the office.

I agree. It's something out of the ordinary that only occurs once every few years. I had it a few weeks back and was dissapointed that we ended up just sitting around all day on the Monday and then were released for the week without ever being brought in for any jury selection.

With that said. I may find it difficult to hear some of the testimony if it's something really bad. One time I had jury duty there was a jury selection for someone accused of sexually assaulting his then girl friend's young daughter. That would have been a little too disturbing to hear.

Oddly the jury selection the next day was for a murder case in which the defendant went crazy in the court room and accused the judge, every member of the current jury beinbg selected and both lawyers of being KKK members and off big time (amusingly there were actually 6 African-Americans in the jury seats at the time he went off, kind of makes me think of the Chapelle show skit about the blind black klan leader- did I say I have a warped sense of humor). Needless to say the jury selection process went on much longer after that as many of the jurors said they would not be able to overlook his tantrum.

[stevew]

I loathe ever getting jury duty. I'm paid hourly at one job, and on commission on another. Basically if I got stuck going in there for the 15 dollars a day they end up paying you, it would severely negatively impact my income.

[Butter]

Originally Posted by BrianD

I thought companies had to make up the difference...but I could be wrong about that.

You are definitely wrong about that, at least in Ohio. If you don't have paid time to take off to serve, then your employer has to give you unpaid time off to serve. And that $15 a day really isn't going to make up the difference for anyone.

[stevew]

If you're paid salary at your job, then quite a few companies will just pay you your normal rate during jury duty. If you're not on salary, you're fucked basically.

I should add that I don't have my 3 year old in day care, so I'd have to call in some favors for her to get watched during the day as well while i sit on the jury.